The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

Guys I jumped! Today I feel like every time I make a cut: fatigued and dizzy, I hope those things now will start to improve fast. For me my dose never gave me any relief and i know benzos suppress our vestibular system, so I hope that now without having to take it my dizziness will go away soon. I think I’ll take a few days off but I’m thinking about all of you and I send you all hugs.

 

Hi EnzoIt,

 

Congratulations !!!  I am so happy for you!  I hope things improve for you quickly.  I understand the symptoms you have had are rough and I have them too.  Some have already gotten better and some are better on some days and worse on others!!  Did you jump off of the .025? 

 

I hope it will not be long before you are able to enjoy your life and not have to deal with benzo WD anymore!!

 

Again, I am so happy for you!  Keep us posted on how you are doing.  I look forward to seeing a success story from you one day!

 

Hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

Thank you guys, I really appreciate that! Julia I took 0.125 for a week before jumping, But like I said for me the dose wasn’t giving me any relief, if anything I always felt it was just sedating me more. I hope now my brain and body will recover fast, hugs for all of you!

Enzolt Congratulations!!!

 

Big hugs for you!!!

Thank you guys, I really appreciate that! Julia I took 0.125 for a week before jumping, But like I said for me the dose wasn’t giving me any relief, if anything I always felt it was just sedating me more. I hope now my brain and body will recover fast, hugs for all of you!

 

Hi EnzoIt - So very happy for you!!  I pray you will heal quickly!!  Hugs to you too!!!

 

Julia 

enzo - congratulations pal - -that is huge! 

Hi EnzoIt! Congratulations! I admire you for how far you have come! That's great. I just dropped to .6mg today and I am hoping to jump in less than a month. My biggest symptom is insomnia still. Wish me luck.

 

 

  HM

Guys I jumped! Today I feel like every time I make a cut: fatigued and dizzy, I hope those things now will start to improve fast. For me my dose never gave me any relief and i know benzos suppress our vestibular system, so I hope that now without having to take it my dizziness will go away soon. I think I’ll take a few days off but I’m thinking about all of you and I send you all hugs.

 

Enzo!! Congratulations!! I’m so happy and proud of you! You are free and let the true healing begin without the poison! It gets and better and better with each day! Better days are ahead for you! 

 

Mary

Thanks to all of you! Hugs to everyone!

Enzo Congratulations!!!!!!!

 

Made another taper 3 days ago and I am feeling awful today.  Have not slept well the past few nights and feeling very sick at my stomach but I am still holding strong and trying to stay focused on the day I will finally be benzo free!  The only thing I really can't stand is everytime I taper, I get 3 or 4 days of heart racing usually in the afternoon.  Was fine yesterday but this afternoon lasted for about an hour which did make me sick.  I do hope I am not tapering too fast. 

 

Julia:  Hope your doing well and your stomach has settled down a little. 

 

Everyone have a wonderful blessed evening......

Torris,

 

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad! I totally get it.  Your signature mirrors mine almost exactly from where I started.  I know it's really tough right now but hold on a bit.  I swear things got so much better form me as I got lower in dose.  Those sentiments may not help your symptoms today, but they unfortunately only time and perseverance will.  I found just laying on a sofa, bed, or anything with some distracting music, tv show, to be the only thing that got me through those horrible surges in symptoms. 

 

So incredibly sorry that you're going through this. 

 

Fondly,

Lori

Lori, thank you so much for your post as you did indeed give me much encouragement.  I am so looking forward to being at a lower level of Xanax so I can sleep through the night and finally have my life back.  At what level did you finally start feeling better if you don't mind me asking?  I knew coming off Xanax was going to be a rough ride but I will get through.  I was feeling so good for about a week before I made the taper but I know I have to ride this roller coaster.  I am going to start tapering about every three to four weeks and only taper .25 instead of .50.  It took me almost 40 years to get where I am and I have to be patient tapering as I don't want to have to start at square one from trying to rush while my brain is trying to heal. 

Little update: since yesterday i totally feel destroyed, like having the flu and that has been one of my main symptom every time I make a cut, this times it seems worse than usual, I’m so cold and I feel pain in every muscle I have. Let’s hope it’ll pass soon

Enzo Congratulations!!!!!!!

 

Made another taper 3 days ago and I am feeling awful today.  Have not slept well the past few nights and feeling very sick at my stomach but I am still holding strong and trying to stay focused on the day I will finally be benzo free!  The only thing I really can't stand is everytime I taper, I get 3 or 4 days of heart racing usually in the afternoon.  Was fine yesterday but this afternoon lasted for about an hour which did make me sick.  I do hope I am not tapering too fast. 

 

Julia:  Hope your doing well and your stomach has settled down a little. 

 

Everyone have a wonderful blessed evening......

 

Hi Torris,

Sorry you are suffering, remember this is temporary and things will get better.  You have come a long ways in a short amount of time.  I started tapering at 4 mg and I was making .25 mg cuts for a while and then had to start doing smaller cuts.  This does get better the lower in dose that you go.  You have already experienced what this can be like and I am sure when you start to make the smaller cuts you will be more functional.  Hold on and you will feel better as you go down as long as you listen to your body.  You are doing something that I wish I had been doing all along and that is doing the equal dosing.  That has helped me more than anything else in recent months.  That and making smaller cuts.  I have been able to cut 3-4% a week with tolerable WD. 

 

I am hanging in there.  Thank you for asking.  I will have the stomach issues until after I finish this taper and then taper the PPI.  I also have some pain in the lower right and left front and I am sure it is WD as I had this months ago as well and finally went to the ER and they did a CT with contrast and could not find anything.  I am just hoping this pain goes away soon.  If I sit straight up and do not put any pressure on my lower stomach, it is not so bad.    Since I have been making my cuts weekly , except last week I held, I have been experiencing interdose WD for the first few days and then it goes away and is tolerable so I feel like that is a win for me.  I have had some strong dizziness and off balance the last couple nights but hope that goes away too.  I am used to those symptoms as I have had them for a year now.

 

I hope you are feeling better and you are doing well!!! 

 

Julia

Little update: since yesterday i totally feel destroyed, like having the flu and that has been one of my main symptom every time I make a cut, this times it seems worse than usual, I’m so cold and I feel pain in every muscle I have. Let’s hope it’ll pass soon

 

Hey EnzoIt,

So sorry you feel destroyed.  It may be worse than usual because you are not putting any more medication in your system to help the WD.  When WonderWoman1111 jumped, she said after a couple days she also felt terrible with flu like symptoms but they did not last too long and went away.  She has been doing great.  She posted that she has symptoms here and there now but nothing intolerable and nothing as bad as when she was tapering.  She also said a couple weeks ago that the first few weeks she would have one good week and one not so good but she said she could handle it.  I hope it gets better for you soon.

 

I believe it is your body adjusting to not putting more of the med in your system and once it adjusts, in my opinion, I believe it will get better for you!

 

Take care and keep us posted!!

 

Hugs,

Julia

enzo,

you've got this!  its been a long time since your body had no Xanax in it --

 

 

Thanks Julia and 300 for the support.. how are you girls doing?

Lori, thank you so much for your post as you did indeed give me much encouragement.  I am so looking forward to being at a lower level of Xanax so I can sleep through the night and finally have my life back.  At what level did you finally start feeling better if you don't mind me asking?  I knew coming off Xanax was going to be a rough ride but I will get through.  I was feeling so good for about a week before I made the taper but I know I have to ride this roller coaster.  I am going to start tapering about every three to four weeks and only taper .25 instead of .50.  It took me almost 40 years to get where I am and I have to be patient tapering as I don't want to have to start at square one from trying to rush while my brain is trying to heal.

 

Torris,

 

I'm sorry I didn't get back to you the other day.  Dad got sick, ER visit, fortunately he's okay... we feared it was another stroke.  Here his serum sodium levels dropped to dangerous levels.  He was disoriented and confused.  It was scary but they are treating him in the hospital for a few days.  So glad that Covid rules aren't as stringent and we were able to be there with him.  I'm exhausted today so this is going to be a shorter version of what I promised.  If you have any additional questions, I'll be happy to answer later on.

 

What I've learned:

1.) As we spoke of the other day, do not assume that your taper will be as difficult as others.  You have never experienced cold turkey, take no other meds, have not endured multiple tapers, and are functioning relatively well as the start (did not reach full-blown tolerance with withdrawal symptoms prior to starting your taper).  These factors truly work in your favor!

 

2.) Please listen to your body.  If a cut is causing severe insomnia or any other debilitating symptoms, hold that dose for awhile until it resolves a bit.  Don't keep reducing when you're feeling very symptomatic or unable to function. You've been on Xanax for a very long time and it's going to take time for your body to adjust to each reduction.  Be patient with yourself and your taper. Also, the rule of thumb is that feeling symptoms is normal, being bedbound or unable to carry out normal daily tasks, is what you want to avoid. 

 

3.)  Because of the Ashton method, which does not work for everyone, we tend to get hung up on percentages (10% every two weeks).  Keep in mind that these are ballpark numbers that were used mostly for those who had done a crossover to Valium as per the tapering method used in her clinics.

They are not written in stone and I think that when it comes to a direct dry taper from Xanax (which you're doing), they often need to be tweaked.  You will find during your taper that sometimes the cut is too much and you'll need to slow down and other times, the cut will be pretty uneventful and you'll be able to move along easily.  Again, there's that "listen to you body" advice that truly is invaluable.  Your body knows better than any opinion you'll find on these boards.

 

4.)  This site provided great value and support especially when you need help on figuring out your dosing and this gets even more important when you get to much lower levels.  People are genuinely happy to help you at every step of the way.  Moderators who have been in your shoes in the past will often jump in with great advice.  Use this forum for your questions and concerns.  For every symptom you experience, you will undoubtedly find many others who have had the same exact experience and that alone can help ease your mind.  This forum is a great resource for help with your taper and moral support.

 

5.)  Avoid the horror stories.  While this site can be a godsend, it can also be a curse.  I'd advise to refrain from scouring the boards and reading scary posts.  Keep in mind that many people join this site for information, but many join because they are very sick and the latter posts can be triggering! Remember, their story is not yours so there's no reason to get caught up in fear of "Oh no!, What if that happens to me?" because there's a good chance that it wont.

 

6.)  Keep busy!  One of my biggest mistakes early on was that I was overcome by fear of the process!  I DID read all the horror stories and thought for certain that I was doomed!  That did NOT help my cause at all.  I wallowed in self pity and fear and it left me paralyzed.  I wish I had taken more walks, forced myself to do more around the house, etc.  It's a huge regret... I hope I can help you avoid it as well.

 

7.)  While everyone is different, I started to feel much better once under 2 milligrams.  I have no idea why this happened but it was welcomed!  Over the years, others have claimed the same.  Also, sleep got much better at this point as well.  However, insomnia came and went throughout my taper.  Others have slept well the entire time while others have had a very rough time throughout.  Again, if your insomnia only started since you taper, you might want to slow down a bit to see if it returns.  You're still on a pretty high dose and little tweaks could help.

 

Unfortunately I have to get going as I'm heading back to the hospital.  I hope this helps and again, if you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask!  Every question you have is a valid one! 

 

I hope you're having a good day and that you were able to get some sleep! 

 

Fondly,

Lori

Little update: since yesterday i totally feel destroyed, like having the flu and that has been one of my main symptom every time I make a cut, this times it seems worse than usual, I’m so cold and I feel pain in every muscle I have. Let’s hope it’ll pass soon

 

So sorry to hear this!!  I think we all hope that once we jump that this nightmare will miraculously be over and it's frustrating when it isn't.  But please hang in there.  I try to look at is like this...

 

We all made it though many months (if not years) of a grueling taper that felt like it would never end.  If we have a few additional months of "crappiness", while less that ideal, at least we have the knowledge that now it's truly 100% healing!  I'm sure that doesn't help when your laying there feeling like you got hit by a bus! .... I'm simply reaching for a positive! 

 

I know it's tough right now but please, please, hold onto the fact that you're finally off this poison!  We're all rooting for you!  Hang in there!

 

Fondly,

Lori

Thanks Julia and 300 for the support.. how are you girls doing?

 

Hi EnzoIt,

 

Are you any better today?  I hope so.  I am hanging in there.  Dealing with WD but it is tolerable.

 

Hugs,

Julia

Just chiming in and saying hi guys. I've been out of it lately and bedridden!  I can't believe this taper can hit a person so hard. I'm in month 3 of my taper and have had to cancel appointments left and right, even if they are tele-calls, I just can't  pull myself together and my energy level has been almost a zero.  Little things like hearing the sound of a light switch being turned on make me super anxious for a quick second and feel like something scared me!  They say withdrawal effects can be ultra weird and super strange..this is true.  Our CNS (central nervous system) controls every cell in the body, and therefore affects our entire being, mentally, emotionally, physically...even though I feel like I'm locked away in a cell far away from being able to feel my emotions outwardly, I can't integrate them.I'm not sure I'm explaining that in a clear way.  I was having such a hard day yesterday, with that damn raging migraine that visits me most days and having those freaky intrusive, compulsive thoughts, that I had to reach into my container where I save the powder I shave off my tablets, and take a touch of it.  I felt a sense of failure and self-judgement for not being strong enough to wait until the time of my regular dose.  I know that is BS.  This process is about progress, not perfection, and were talking such a small amount of powder..I guess it felt like I was using cocaine or something!

Anyhow, today is a new day and I was out of bed earlier than usual and even went for a short walk, plus I drove to the bank and actually was able to communicate well with the teller on some complicated transaction stuff.  Anyway, I'm glad to finally check in on this thread, I miss keeping up with it the past week or two. Oh yes, I wanted to ask: Does any else experience anaphylaxis as a w/d Sx?  I do, and it causes me high anxiety.  I get panicky in my head when it happens. Talk to you all soon, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you Lori for your support, you’re totally right about that, it just requires an incredibly amount of suffering and patience. Hi Julia I have a little less pain in my body, so I take it as a win, unfortunately my dizziness is very bad at the moment, just reaching a thing on the ground or move my eye from the left to the right makes my head start spinning and I get nauseous. I hope it’ll pass soon! I’m happy you feel a little better, you’re always very nice! Thanks again guys, I can’t wait for all of us to put thing in the past

Lori:  I can't Thank you enough for all for all the information you provided.  I am keeping busy and living my life with the taper and I am listening to my body and since it took me so many years to get where I am, I am going to slow my taper instead of putting myself through heck with a fast taper.  I refuse to lay in bed as I am just not a bed kind of person and I do make myself get out of the house every day.  I did have a very productive day outside today and I am getting stronger.  With each cut I do get a little sick the first 4 to 5 days but I am not going to complain as it could be worse. 

 

Julia:  I do hope you are feeling a little better today.  I know your stomach is giving you fits and trust me, it will get better.  Once I got off the PPIs I felt 100 percent better.  Just make sure you taper off the PPI after you are finished tapering off the benzo as it will make you sick. I am feeling so much better today so I cannot complain and spent most of the day doing yardwork which made me feel wonderful.  I do love the fall weather.

 

I wish all a wonderful and blessed evening and remember, we can ALL get through this. 

Why am I feeling so exhausted when I've been doing a DMT and have only tapered a small amount, in my opinion.  Shouldn't I feel more with it and less like a zombie?  I have little patience for this process right now. My neck is stiff, my legs and arms feel weak, my joints ache and I have a migraine almost daily. I can't engage in anything, things have no meaning.  I can't fully sleep but I have to have my eyes closed, even when sitting in front of the television.  GI issues hit today, too. Really intrusive, scary thoughts as well for the past two days. Awful.

Widesky,

I'm doing a DLMT very slowly and I wonder the same thing as you.  I have a lot of GI issues I'm sorry you are starting to have those along with all the others.  It sounds like you are struggling a lot worse then me but any amount is horrible.

 

Are you familiar with Dr. Jennifer Austin Leigh?  She suffered for years from benzos.  She has a website Benzowithdrawalhelp.com I have been reading her blogs there is a wealth of info on there it has helped me some.  If you feel up to it you might try checking it out. 

 

Thinking of you.

 

Prayers ❤

 

Lori:  I can't Thank you enough for all for all the information you provided.  I am keeping busy and living my life with the taper and I am listening to my body and since it took me so many years to get where I am, I am going to slow my taper instead of putting myself through heck with a fast taper.  I refuse to lay in bed as I am just not a bed kind of person and I do make myself get out of the house every day.  I did have a very productive day outside today and I am getting stronger. With each cut I do get a little sick the first 4 to 5 days but I am not going to complain as it could be worse. 

 

Your mindset is spot on!  Slow and steady wins the race!

 

I wish all a wonderful and blessed evening and remember, we can ALL get through this.