Hi I'm new... thinking about tapering from Klonopin soon.

Hi there,

I posted this in the Tapering Forum but thought I should introduce myself here too, since I'm new to the site.

I have been on Klonopin for 15 months now. I started at a dose of 1 mg taken twice a day (.5 in a.m. and .5 in early afternoon). I now take between 1.25-1.5 mg a day, although there are occasions where I've taken up to 2 mg and, very rarely 3 mg.

I started taking the Klonopin because of a nervous breakdown with panic and anxiety that I could not shake. I've had a panic disorder for years, but nothing like this episode. I literally needed this medicine, and I was so thankful for it. Things started to get better and I considered starting an anti-depressant again (I had taken paxil in the past and the withdrawal from that was horrible). But then things in my life started falling apart; my father-in-law left my mother-in-law and she became suicidal; my husband and I were the only ones able to help. We moved in with her for 5 months of HELL (no exaggeration: we secretly wanted her to die because it was THAT horrible), and during this time I had to increase the dosage of the Klonopin and also started taking 20mg of Celexa (which I do believe has helped). Things got so bad at my mother-in-laws that we had to move out, and did so this October. Then I lost a job I've had for 3 years and an opportunity for a dream job that fell through after 2 months of waiting. Right after that I became bed-ridden with an anal fistula for three months (including post-op time) during the middle of this very snowy and grey New England winter (and yes, I definitely do have S.A.D.).

So, it's now almost March 1st. My butt has healed, I've started a new job which I like and I'm trying to get back in shape after 3 months of lying in bed all day. It's still winter and snowy, but I'm looking forward to spring. My mother-in-law has stabilized enough that we don't worry about her on a daily basis or need to help her quite as often (although it's still always in the back of our minds). I feel I am just beginning to heal, and I am exhausted! With the new job stress and the effort it takes to be moving around again (I've been doing gentle yoga and walking), I've just been so tired. And usually when my body is exhausted I have a harder time with my anxiety and blood sugar (I have low blood sugar but have been treating it well for over 5 years now. Still, low blood sugar=near panic for me on bad occasions).

Anyway, the Klonopin seems to really help me (the only side-effect I've noticed is a constant dry cough in the late evening and early morning), but I worry about the long term effects of being on it. I think I might have gained 5 or so pounds being on it, but that also might be from not moving for the past few months! (*As a side note, does anyone know when weight gain from a drug will occur if it's going to occur?*) I wish this medicine wasn't so addictive and hard to get off of because it works so well... I had such a struggle with the paxil-withdrawal (the paxil did not work at all) and do not want to go through another experience like that. But still, I don't think I'll feel right until I'm off this drug and either taking it VERY rarely on an as-need basis or not at all.

So I have a couple of questions. My first is whether or not I should wait until things settle down a bit more before tapering off. Hands down, this has been the most difficult year of my life (I'm only 28 but I've had some hard ones already). It has also been the most difficult year of my husband's life, and he is as emotionally solid as they come. Not only did his parents get divorced (it was a total shock and we treasured and looked up to them more than anything), but he was forced to care for his suicidally depressed mother and deal with the fact that his father was not the wonderful man he once thought he knew. Also he is a full-time graduate student and has a very heavy work-load.

Part of me thinks I should wait until the weather is sunnier and warmer and I can be outside planting flowers and such before I start making things difficult again. Also, in a few months my husband will be home for the summer, so he can help catch me when I fall (like he always does). Also, it might be good to be feeling physically strong again so I can do a lot of exercise when I'm withdrawing (right now even short walks are so tiring). There are a lot of weddings and events planned which might make it difficult to taper off the drug this summer, but life never stops so I'll just have to deal with whatever happens.

My other question is how I should be tapering.... My prescriber tells me not to take the Klonopin when I don't need it, but at this point my body needs it and I pay for it if I lower or skip a dosage within the next day or two. I've been kind of up and down with the dosage, and everything I've read here and online makes me think this is not a good thing. Somedays I take .75 mg in the morning and .5 in the afternoon, somedays I skip an afternoon dose, somedays I take .75 mg in the a.m. and then again in the p.m., on some bad days I've taken 2 mg, on some really bad days I've taken 3 mg (divided up into 3 doses of 1 mg each). So it really varies. Is this really bad to be doing?

OK, and if I stay on a steady dose until this spring/summer (which would probably be .75 mg in the a.m. and .75 mg in the p.m.), how should I go about tapering off? From my paxil experience, I need to withdrawal even slower than most people, and stabilize at one dose for a long time before lowering again. It might take all year or more to do it this way, but that's fine with me.

The other question is (OK, I know this is a lot of questions), CAN people just take this medicine as needed? The funny thing is that I think it wold actually work much better if I was completely off the drug and took it only when I really needed to. Right now my body is so used to it that I have to take 2 or 3 mg a day to really re-set and calm down when I'm feeling particularly anxious. But I also feel I am a bit psychologically dependent on it at this point...

OK, any advice or support would be appreciated! Please don't tell me too much about the evils of the drug though... that just tends to make me nervous

Thanks so much!

maggie

OK, any advice or support would be appreciated! Please don't tell me too much about the evils of the drug though... that just tends to make me nervous

 

Thanks so much!

maggie

No, you won't see much of that negativity here. We are a pretty positive group, and there is really no point in fear mongering. 

Glad to have you here Maggie!

Linda

Welcome Maggie,

If you have a look at page 5 of my blog you will be able to see some of my history. I wrote you a really long reply last night and then my connection dropped out and I lost it before I could post.

  Maggie This is a great place. At first I wasn't sure because like you I didn't want to know about too much negative stuff.Scared!!!! But now I have been tapering since 14.01.08 from Klono - and I have found out in this long - but really short journey that I was in tollerance for most of the 9 years and very addicted to the Klono - when I thought it was keeping me going. I always took 2mg Klono per day and never varied ( but thought about it with the need for more - don;t you worry. I started on this stuff at around your age and I will be 38 this year. I now feel that if only I had tapered from this stuff earlier then I would't have missed out on so many things - including the last years in my 20's.

  You need to make the descision for yourself and be really comitted. Like you I loved the Klono - But now have changed my mind - Big Time.

I am nearing half way 1.125mg per day and I can tell you that a lot of the time - it was the best thing I have done for myself in so many years.

  The people here are great sources of knowledge and support. So when you decide that you are ready to see what life is like without the Benzos - I fully recommend this site! It has been a saviour for myself and many many others. Benzo Buddies rocks. A great place to keep us all going and help us along the way.

        Goodluck in whatever you decide to do - Debbie (deedee)

Hi Maggie!!

Welcome to Benzobuddies!!  Sounds like you've been through a lot this last year!!  I personally can't take benzos at all anymore.  For whatever reason, ever since I C/T Xanax after my knee surgery and then tried to reinstate, it really doesn't like me anymore  .  I don't really think it was intended to be taken on a regular basis and doing so only sets you up for an eventual downfall. 

Anyway, get cozy and jump right on in!!  This is a great place for support and comfort while getting off these poisons!!

Love,

jen

Hi Maggie,

Welcome!!!  Glad you are here.

I called klonopin "my best friend" for years, little did I know what it was doing to me.  I wish I had known sooner and tapered off instead of c/t, but all this is history for me. 

 

 

I now take between 1.25-1.5 mg a day, although there are occasions where I've taken up to 2 mg and, very rarely 3 mg.

 

 

but at this point my body needs it and I pay for it if I lower or skip a dosage within the next day or two.   Is this really bad to be doing?

 

CAN people just take this medicine as needed?

 

Right now my body is so used to it that I have to take 2 or 3 mg a day to really re-set and calm down when I'm feeling particularly anxious. But I also feel I am a bit psychologically dependent on it at this point...

 

Several things you said in your post were "red flags."  As small as this pill is it is one of the harder ones to get off of.  Your body is already dependant on it, so it is better to get off now than if you should become tolerant of it.  Then there is no choice....you have to come off and it is not pretty.

Life never slows down long enough to start something like this.  From what I have read, tapering is easier in the beginning than at the end. You may want to keep that in mind.  If that is not correct someone will be along to correct me!

I don't know what taper schedule you would use, if that is something you decide to do, someone else will help you with that.  You would get a plan and a schedule and then kinda tweak it to fit you. If you wanted to go faster or slower, nothing is set in stone except that people really want to get off once they are aware of what this will do to them. 

This is a great place to be.  Make your self comfortable with the forum, you'll get the support you need here.

Ts

hi welcome to benzo buddies - some people have a hard time - but we do not encourage it .

i know what you mean though i have been on forums that touted the difficulties and offered not all that much hope - that is the last thing someone needs to hear when making a commitment to get off drugs.

Thanks everyone! Since my first post 10 days ago, I have stabilized myself on 1.5 mg a day as was suggested. I've posted some questions in the taper forum where I have another post going, as I have some tapering questions. But thank you so much for your support and welcome! I feel so great starting this process... it makes me feel more in control of my life, more confident. Strange, huh?

Anyway, see you in the other forum!

maggie

Hi Maggie,

Just posted on your other thread. You will be in more control.You allready seem to be doing great. Yeas stabalising is the only way