Jump to content

Driving in the Left Lane- pianogirl's Story of Healing and Hope for all of You!


[pi...]

Recommended Posts

Thank you cedar, Marise and Molly,

 

I wish all the best healing to you.  Cedar, I know you are well now, thanks for the good wishes. 

 

PG  :smitten:

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pianogirl!!!  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

I am SO happy to see this posted!  :yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

You have been a constant support to me since I ended my taper.  We have shared many stories, and you have always been part of my "support team" here on BB when I needed it most.  I don't know your name, what you look like, or where you live...but what I do know is that you're warm, kind, loving, sincere, genuine and have a heart of gold.  I know you as "Pianogirl".  And you're the best "Pianogirl" out there. 

 

You haven't had it easy since being benzo-free and the progress you've made is nothing short of awesome.  I am so incredibly happy for you and can't wait to follow in your footsteps and write my own story in the future. 

 

You're one of a kind and I'm so grateful to have "met" you. 

 

Love and BIG hugs,

Schatje

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Pianagirl,

I am soooo happy for you and your success story will give everyone still struggling so much hope for healing. :smitten:

You managed to fight the battle and continued to  help others on this forum  keeping  this site safe for us all, words can not express how much your dedication is appreciated, all the while you were struggling like the rest of us here while helping so many others with your knowledge and support. :smitten:

Here's to all the years ahead, lived to the fullest in the left lane :thumbsup:

Ladygrace12

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pianogirl!!!  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

I am SO happy to see this posted!  :yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

You have been a constant support to me since I ended my taper.  We have shared many stories, and you have always been part of my "support team" here on BB when I needed it most.  I don't know your name, what you look like, or where you live...but what I do know is that you're warm, kind, loving, sincere, genuine and have a heart of gold.  I know you as "Pianogirl".  And you're the best "Pianogirl" out there. 

 

You haven't had it easy since being benzo-free and the progress you've made is nothing short of awesome.  I am so incredibly happy for you and can't wait to follow in your footsteps and write my own story in the future. 

 

You're one of a kind and I'm so grateful to have "met" you. 

 

Love and BIG hugs,

Schatje

 

Schatje  :smitten:  :smitten:

 

I can't tell you how I looked forward to hearing from you on my blog during those bleak days. Gosh, we've come a long way haven't we. I remember those days where all I could do was to be on BB and see if I was alone in my symptoms. You were such a great support for me and I'll remember it always.

 

I am just following the the footsteps of those who have come before me.  You'll be following mine soon and you will leave imprints for others to come along to the world of wellness as well.

 

You don't know what I look like huh, well I could describe myself but then I probably would be fibbing just a bit.  ::) ::)::)

 

Love to You,

 

PG  :smitten: :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Pianagirl,

I am soooo happy for you and your success story will give everyone still struggling so much hope for healing. :smitten:

You managed to fight the battle and continued to  help others on this forum  keeping  this site safe for us all, words can not express how much your dedication is appreciated, all the while you were struggling like the rest of us here while helping so many others with your knowledge and support. :smitten:

Here's to all the years ahead, lived to the fullest in the left lane :thumbsup:

Ladygrace12

 

Thank you so much Ladygrace.  I have always loved your user name. My work here is a labor of love and hope and I plan to continue to help others as I have been helped.

 

Enjoy your life to the fullest as well, after withdrawal it is well deserved.  :thumbsup:

 

PG  :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi PG :)

I was so happy to read your success story. I had a similar history of Ativan (for me it was for mild anxiety) and then the move to klonopin after interdose withdrawal began  :D

 

I am 5.5 months off a rapid taper and beginning to have some more clarity so your success story was especially poignant for me. I bet you never thought you would appreciate driving in the left lane like you do now  8)

 

Congrats :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi PG :)

I was so happy to read your success story. I had a similar history of Ativan (for me it was for mild anxiety) and then the move to klonopin after interdose withdrawal began  :D

 

I am 5.5 months off a rapid taper and beginning to have some more clarity so your success story was especially poignant for me. I bet you never thought you would appreciate driving in the left lane like you do now  8)

 

Congrats :smitten:

 

Thanks gettingthere,

 

Yes I have a great appreciation for driving in the left lane now and a great appreciation for everything in life these days.  It's so much easier to not sweat the small stuff anymore having been through this experience.

 

I'm so happy you are having more clarity now,  more good things will come your way as you continue healing. 

 

PG  :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pianogirl  :smitten:

 

Oh wow this is so wonderful to read. I just saw this today. I am so happy for you. I have to say you have always been so Graceful in everything you have done here. And you committed so much of your self to be a Administrator even in your pain. This is so great your Healed and all better.

 

Pianogirl I just want you to know as time passes your even gonna get better then rt now!!!

 

Im so proud of you

 

xo~Jenny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pianogirl  :smitten:

 

Oh wow this is so wonderful to read. I just saw this today. I am so happy for you. I have to say you have always been so Graceful in everything you have done here. And you committed so much of your self to be a Administrator even in your pain. This is so great your Healed and all better.

 

Pianogirl I just want you to know as time passes your even gonna get better then rt now!!!

 

Im so proud of you

 

xo~Jenny

 

Jenny,

 

You have been an inspiration to me and so many others here on the forum.  Your positive reenforcement has helped me many times. I remember reading many of your posts and pretending you were speaking to me. I'm proud of you as well, staying close to the forum and continuing to offer your guidance and support.

 

Wow, its going to get even better???

 

Hugs,

 

PG  :smitten: :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dearest Pianogirl,

 

I have been awaiting your success story!  Congratulations!  I am so very, very happy for you - happy that you are experiencing life again the way you were meant to be - emotions and all, AND driving in the LEFT lane!  What a great visual reminder! I will think of you when I turn my blinker on and merge into the left lane....think of it as merging back into life!  I remember days of driving both under the influence of benzos and also during and after withdrawal when I definitely should NOT have been driving at all.  Right now I would say I am figuratively weaving between lanes, but as you know, that is still a great improvement!

 

As I read your story, I keep shaking my head....we have had quite a few similarities on the benzo journey that I wasn't aware of.  I, like you, have withdrawn twice.  When I went off the first time and plunged into MAJOR anxiety and dysfunction, I had NO idea that it was from the benzos.  I thought I was just being weak and experiencing anxiety that I should be able to control.  After 8 weeks off, I went back on again as I was totally incapacitated.  Even then, I didn't know my misery was FROM the benzos....I thought it was just me, being weak and unable to deal with life.  I could go on and on, but I will save that for MY success story!  Also, I, like you, had surgery, and now believe that I was knocked back into withdrawal mode just from being on the amount of benzos they give you pre and post surgery....oh, the lessons we have learned!  And.....yes, I have had EVERY test imaginable on this road as well...  and so the story goes....

 

You put into words so well what we all feel and experience - thanks!  I don't know about you, but I often have trouble finding the words (even just to tell myself) that express what we've been through.  Words are insufficient.... maybe music helps us in that manner.  I like to think of Victor Hugo's quote, "Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent."  So, my piano friend, we are blessed to be able to experience some of the healing powers of music!

 

Dearest Pianogirl, I celebrate along with you the beginning of a wonderful life of renewal. Isn't it amazing how rich life now is when you have traveled through hell and back?  Life just becomes so much more wondrous! You are an amazing woman, with so much to give.  You give so freely, brilliantly, and compassionately here at BB's and you I can tell that you give in the same manner to your students and family.  You are a true blessing in many people's lives and I am just thrilled that you are experiencing good health once again!  YES!!! 

 

Tonight I send you a musical bouquet of healing and celebration across the miles!

 

With love, Sophia

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dearest piano partner and special friend Sophia,

 

My day is always brighter when I hear from you. We have a shared the love of music, we have played virtual duets together and it appears we share a common benzo history. Sadly, it is not so very uncommon to hear stories like ours. I know exactly how you felt during your first withdrawal; it was a dark dark time for me. I have taught for over 30 years and in that time never missed a student recital until that fall.  I actually went to the recital but was so ill with withdrawal symptoms I had to leave. I came home and cried forever for the loss of the life that I knew. Yes Sophia, we are so much wiser now and this will help us maintain our health for the future.

 

You are so right, it is hard to put into words how withdrawal feels, after all, how do you describe the indescribable.  Many times when my husband asked how I was feeling I was at a loss for how to tell him. We have had music to soothe our souls and that is a gift to be treasured. Music truly can heal and calm.

Thank you for the kind words my lovely friend Sophia.  I only give back all the caring and compassion that I received myself.  It is so wonderful these days to see the beauty of everything; this started to blossom the fall after I jumped off and has just grown and grown.  I sometimes wonder why people don’t notice a stunning sunset or a pretty flower.  I hope I never lose this appreciation.

 

Thank you for the bouquet Sophia, just like a bride I am tossing it back to you. I know this year will be a year of great healing for you and I can’t wait to read your success story.

 

Much Love,

 

PG  :smitten: :smitten:

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh.. Pianogirl ! It was so wonderful to read your story this morning.

It helps so much to know there is hope & healing while one is on this hard, & often so long- journey.

You are truly an inspiration, & for all you went through & then gave -& continue to give.

Thank you, thank you

May your days shine w/ endless joy & understanding

 

margaretisabel

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh.. Pianogirl ! It was so wonderful to read your story this morning.

It helps so much to know there is hope & healing while one is on this hard, & often so long- journey.

You are truly an inspiration, & for all you went through & then gave -& continue to give.

Thank you, thank you

May your days shine w/ endless joy & understanding

 

margaretisabel

 

You are so right about this journey margaretisabel.  Thank you so much for the lovely thoughts.  I hope the sun shines brightly on you as well.

 

PG  :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I loved reading your story-and could really relate to it.  Soooooooo happy for you :)

 

Thank you so much Tina!  I wish you good healing as we begin this new year.

 

PG  :smitten:

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congratulations PG...it is so sweet to see someone you fought side by side with make it to the end of the battle.  Incredible how many physicians don't know about something so utterly mentally and physically devastating- but thank God we found Benzobuddies.  I am thankful that we were able to meet and support each other through so many difficult days.

 

The fact that you have decided to stick around and continue to pay it forward is such a beautiful act- and the forum benefits so much.

 

I laughed to myself when I read your comments about the 6 month mark- I think any of us who have passed this initial healing milestone and realize we are not cured has had this feeling.  I remember posting a very sad post on my 6 month anniversary, and Pamster, the Moderator whom you remind me of in a lot of ways, came by my sorry post to console me, lol.

 

I was unaware of several things that happened to you along the way, before we met.  Thank you for sharing your story with all of us- you are an inspiration and proof that healing happens.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congratulations PG...it is so sweet to see someone you fought side by side with make it to the end of the battle.  Incredible how many physicians don't know about something so utterly mentally and physically devastating- but thank God we found Benzobuddies.  I am thankful that we were able to meet and support each other through so many difficult days.

 

The fact that you have decided to stick around and continue to pay it forward is such a beautiful act- and the forum benefits so much.

 

I laughed to myself when I read your comments about the 6 month mark- I think any of us who have passed this initial healing milestone and realize we are not cured has had this feeling.  I remember posting a very sad post on my 6 month anniversary, and Pamster, the Moderator whom you remind me of in a lot of ways, came by my sorry post to console me, lol.

 

I was unaware of several things that happened to you along the way, before we met.  Thank you for sharing your story with all of us- you are an inspiration and proof that healing happens.

 

Perse,

 

My good friend, I am so glad that I met you. It was you that really sparked my interest in the actual mechanisms of benzo use on the human body. I am so glad you are back and adding more of your vast knowledge here to the forum.  I've been reading your new references, dictionary in hand as always. I must say I have learned a few new things already.

 

It is funny what our expectations are and then to have those hopes dashed by the ticking away of the calendar.  You helped me so much when I thought this was the never ending story.  If I could even be a little bit like Pamster I would be so happy, you pay me a very special complement.  I have such admiration for Pamster, the first person to greet me here at BB.

 

We'll still have many talks and I will wait eagerly for your success story.  You will get there, you've have some big hurdles to clear for sure.  Keep jumping and if you need a hand, I'll be there to help.

 

Hugs,

 

PG  :smitten: :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

PG

 

Hi, I really find these success stories helpful.  Thank you so much.  I have been tapering for over a year now from a ridiculously hi dose of 3 mg of klonopin.  I am down to 8.64 mg of Valium.  Over the last year I have spent so much time laying down, at least 12 hours a day.  I do go out for a walk once a day and I am working.  My fear is that I will damage my body by laying around so much and end up crippled.  This is probably just a benzo fear but I can't seem to shake it.  Can you offer anything to refute this fear.

 

Thanks

 

Golden

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Pg :hug:

 

Sorry I am late getting here, so thrilled to read your success story. I have seen how you inspire people on the forum already and now for all of us to read this it inspires us even more!  I am so happy for you and SO proud of you.  I hope life continues to become more beautiful each day for you and keep playing sweet music, because your simply the best. http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/piano-2.gif

 

Love ya http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/mini-graphics-butterflies-247201.gif

 

Mags

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

PG

 

Hi, I really find these success stories helpful.  Thank you so much.  I have been tapering for over a year now from a ridiculously hi dose of 3 mg of klonopin.  I am down to 8.64 mg of Valium.  Over the last year I have spent so much time laying down, at least 12 hours a day.  I do go out for a walk once a day and I am working.  My fear is that I will damage my body by laying around so much and end up crippled.  This is probably just a benzo fear but I can't seem to shake it.  Can you offer anything to refute this fear.

 

Thanks

 

Golden

 

 

Golden,

 

It is just benzo fear that is troubling you. If you are working and walking every day you are staying somewhat active. You are doing a fantastic job tapering from such a high dose of klonopin. Your body is working very hard during this time and you do need to be gentle with yourself. You won't be crippled, there were times I felt so weak and shaky and with time this went away. 

 

I would suggest that you continue walking and try to increase the distance very gradually. Walking is one of the best exercises.

 

The human body is pretty amazing, your nervous system will do whatever it takes to return to balance. It will work towards that end. It may take a while and there will be some ups and downs but it will happen. Do whatever you can to distract yourself from the fear, it really isnt a tangible thing, its just a thought. 

 

Take care and think of all you have achieved so far,  it's something to be proud of.

 

PG  :smitten:  :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/hand-gestures/awesome-smiley-emoticon.gif  I am so glad to see you post your success story.  I am sure it will help many along the way.  It was nice to travel part of that journey with you.

 

Hugs,

Plady 

 

Thanks for your good wished Plday.  Yes, we have traveled quite a distance together. I remember our conversations during the summer of 2011.  We had quite a few pity parties going on.

 

I hope you know you have the strength and fortitude to achieve success with your taper, you will have many here rooting for you all the way.

 

Hugs,

 

PG  :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Pg :hug:

 

Sorry I am late getting here, so thrilled to read your success story. I have seen how you inspire people on the forum already and now for all of us to read this it inspires us even more!  I am so happy for you and SO proud of you.  I hope life continues to become more beautiful each day for you and keep playing sweet music, because your simply the best. http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/piano-2.gif

 

Love ya http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/mini-graphics-butterflies-247201.gif

 

Mags

 

Aw Mags,

 

You always say the sweetest things and have a special way of making me and everyone else here feel good.  I have been inspired by a lot of people here myself, those who have had far greater struggles then I have had. 

 

My life is richer for having met you!!!  I will be happy to keep playing some beautiful music and dedicate it to you and all my buddies here.

 

Love ya dear,

 

PG  :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pianogirl,

 

Thanks for the toss of the bouquet back to me....the symbolism is not lost on me!  I will stretch my arms out to catch it, but know that it will only finally land in my arms when the time of healing is right!  And then I will rejoice! GREATLY!

 

Take care, and have a wondrous week!

 

Love, Sophia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pianogirl,

 

This is by far the best thread I have read here in a while!  You had mentioned before that we had similar journeys and reading yours again I was struck by the similarities. 

 

You write very eloquently, you are just a class act all around.  I feel blessed to have encountered you here and am so, so happy you have healed. 

 

Much respect and admiration,

Tamzo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...