Driving in the Left Lane- pianogirl's Story of Healing and Hope for all of You!

[[Buddie]]

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Driving has been one of my biggest hurdles. I get dizzy/boatyard at intersections & on the freeway. While I have improved a lot these last several months (Ambien free 10 months tomorrow) I [...] struggle with anxiety induced dizziness in certain situations. The intensity & duration of these episodes has gotten a lot better. But, I won't consider myself healed until it goes away completely and I am able to function as I did before all of this madness.

At what month did the driving improve?  What was helpful to you regarding that?

So thrilled to see that someone with this same issue is doing so well. Congrats!  Thanks for your story!

Hi [...],

Driving anxiety improved gradually for me.  It took me a full year to just get in the car without thinking about it and planning my route.  I was determined to not be reliant on people (my husband mostly) to drive me everywhere.  I had enough of that during my first withdrawal and when I was in tolerance.

I did many things to make driving doable. I talked to my symptoms. I let them know that I knew they were there but I was [...] going to go about my business. Sometimes I'll admit I even yelled at them. I did deep breathing, especially at the traffic lights. I also tried to focus on pretty things whether it was the trees, the mountains, the sky, whatever.

You'll get the point where getting in the car and driving is nothing to even worry about.  You are doing well to drive already on the freeway, pat yourself on the back for that.  Every day you get closer to healing.

[...] 

[[Buddie]]

[...],

I am so happy for you !  Your experience of c/t, reminded me so much of what I went through.  It seems that so many doctors have the idea that AD's or another benzo will eliminate symptoms for people. I know that the anti depressants caused such bad panic attacks that I wanted to climb under the bed, and stay there.     I remember that time after the bad c/t, like living in a dark hole....just trying to survive each day.  I had no information at that time about benzos and w/d, so I ended up right back on librax.  Finally, I found out about the proper way to come off of these drugs.  It has been a long journey...and if my gi problems would heal...I think that some of my remaining symptoms would improve.

Your life seems full and happy, again.  I want to thank you for all that you have done to help others here at BB. 
Wishing you the very best in life, always !

Love,
[...]

[[Buddie]]

[...],

I am so happy for you !  Your experience of c/t, reminded me so much of what I went through.  It seems that so many doctors have the idea that AD's or another benzo will eliminate symptoms for people. I know that the anti depressants caused such bad panic attacks that I wanted to climb under the bed, and stay there.     I remember that time after the bad c/t, like living in a dark hole....just trying to survive each day.  I had no information at that time about benzos and w/d, so I ended up right back on librax.  Finally, I found out about the proper way to come off of these drugs.  It has been a long journey...and if my gi problems would heal...I think that some of my remaining symptoms would improve.

Your life seems full and happy, again.  I want to thank you for all that you have done to help others here at BB. 
Wishing you the very best in life, always !

Love,
[...]

Hi [...],

Yes, there are many similarities in our stories. I can understand that I didn't know I was in withdrawal. I [...] fail to see how the doctors didn't recognize that.  Of course, I know that it is hard to find a doctor really knowledgeable about the long term impact these medications have on the nervous system.

Its now in the past. At least my present doctor is understanding about the withdrawal process and even wanted a copy of the journal I have kept. She is planning to show it to medical students, every small step can help.

I wish you good healing for your GI issues and thank you for the lovely thoughts.

[...] 

[[Buddie]]

[...]

Typed my last response on my phone and made a couple typos.

Not driving on the freeway yet.  It is one of my new year's resolutions.   I have pushed my driving "bubble" to the point where I can drive about 10ish mins away from my house.  I do what I can to avoid long, busy intersections as those give me the most trouble.  I do drive somewhere everyday.  Some days are better than others.  It has gradually improved over the months.

Glad to hear this has improved for you.  I get scared sometimes and think I am stuck with this.  I try to drive myself as much as possible, but if I have to take the freeway or drive more than say 15 mins in any direction I get some help.

[...] struggling with anxiety in crowded places, new situation and hot (temperature) places.  It is amazing to me how something so mundane can trigger anxiety.  So weird.  Visually I can tell my CNS gets overloaded really easily also.  The canned food aisle at the grocery store [...] sends my senses into overdrive.  It too has improved.  There was a time not that long ago I had to use the grocery cart as a walker to do my shopping.  Now I [...] feel some degree of the dizzy/overload feeling but can manage better.

Your story really resonates with me.  Thanks for your response

[[Buddie]]

Congrats [...]!   

Really happy you are doing so well!

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations [...].  This is such great news.  Thanks for sharing your story.   You mentioned that you had terrible joint and muscle pains.  Do you remember when these subsided for you?  That and "doesn't make sense that I have this anxiety, anxiety" are really my last couple of big challenges so it is always good to see a success story where bad nerve/muscle/joint pains were resolved.  Not that I would ever want anyone to have those symptoms but to see that they do indeed resolve is always helpful. 

May the rest of your life be filled with joy,

Thank you for being here, helping, succeeding, and administrating.

Always grateful,
M

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations [...].  This is such great news.  Thanks for sharing your story.   You mentioned that you had terrible joint and muscle pains.  Do you remember when these subsided for you?  That and "doesn't make sense that I have this anxiety, anxiety" are really my last couple of big challenges so it is always good to see a success story where bad nerve/muscle/joint pains were resolved.  Not that I would ever want anyone to have those symptoms but to see that they do indeed resolve is always helpful. 

May the rest of your life be filled with joy,

Thank you for being here, helping, succeeding, and administrating.

Always grateful,
M

Hi M,

The muscle and nerve pain was one of the longest lasting symptoms for me.  I had always been a physically active person and so this was difficult for me to adjust to.  I tried to be as active as possible and I will admit sometimes I did overdo things.  The pain would ebb at times and other times be very strong.  Even this past summer I had a bad episode of pain. It felt like my insides were being squeezed and it just hurt to move.

The burning went away first, it left March 2012.  The muscle and nerve pain finally resolved this past fall.  I know how frustrating it is to live with this kind of pain, I wondered if there would ever be a time when I didn't hurt.  This whole process was the most painful, the most fearful, the most awful thing I have ever gone through before.  Its over now and it will be also for you.

I know that without the support of the wonderful people I have met here and the good information I received as well as how much I've learned I'm not sure how well I would be today.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

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[[Buddie]]

So happy to hear of your success!  Your story inspires me and gives me strength to continue this battle.  Thanks for your support to so many who are hurting. God bless you!

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations [...]. I'm so happy for you.

Could you tell me when you think you finally started making a big turn?

[[Buddie]]

Congratulations [...]. I'm so happy for you.

Could you tell me when you think you finally started making a big turn?

Hi [...],

I would have to say the turn began this fall.  I found myself thinking less and less about withdawal.  This is because I think for the first time I was not having regular symptoms.  My mind was really clear, I was really happy and enjoying all the parts of my life. I had a lot of hits to my cns with the death of a friend and other issues. I felt I handled these things the way a healed person would.

Now I think of withdrawal as being in the past rather than the present. 

I know this will happen for you as well.

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