Lets Talk About What Works - RECOVERED PLEASE PLEASE POST TO

part of withdrawal and recovery depends on sleep - it is rough coming off - but we all hope after we are done that there s sleep.

 

ok - so how do we get it - how long does it take to return?

Hi Silver!!

 

Thanks for the invite to come and post on this board!! 

 

As I said on the other board...insomnia landed me in a mental hospital.  I don't believe, however, that it was simple insomnia.  It's just not normal for someone to go 7 straight days without sleeping at all.  I believe the benzo's caused some sort of chemical upheaval in my body.  Perhaps it was adrenaline cause I was scared crapless at what was going on with my mind and body!!!

 

Anyway, I sleep like a log now.  It's not unusual for me to sleep 10 straight hours on the weekend.  Anyone who knows me knows...I LOVE TO SLEEP!!  LOL  It is my addiction, my escape, always has been.  Even when I was a kid trying to get away from the hell going on around me...I would sleep.  So, my inability to sleep should have been a red flag to my friends and family that...SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT HERE!! 

 

I'm not going to post the obvious things you've been told 10 thousand times not to do...caffeine..blah blah blah.  That's just common sense and I wanted to slap people when they'd tell me not to drink coffee in the evening...DUHHHHHHH!!!  LOL

 

When I was trying to get back to normal....I used to take Valerian Root.  That stuff stinks worse than rotten garbage...but if you can hold your nose and get it down...it helped me.  It wasn't a miracle cure...but along with good sleep hygiene, hot baths, and not working myself into a frenzy every night about not sleeping...it worked.

 

During the course of my nightmare...I was also diagnosed with a very rare genetic condition called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.  That's one blessing that came from all this.  I can't remember life without pain and at least doctors will listen to me about that now.  Anyway, I take Flexeril in the evening for the pain which also aids in my sleep.  It is a very mild muscle relaxer.  I couldn't have insomnia if I wanted to.  It knocks me on my butt after about 3 hours but without it my muscles would lock up, spasm and I wouldn't be working at all.  I get stubborn sometimes and decide I'm not taking it anymore.  But the pain reminds me that I'm not superwoman and if I want to continue working...I need to take it.  Who knows...I may be looking for a flexeril support board someday.  Lord, I hope not!!!!

 

For me, being sleep deprived was the worst part of this nightmare.  Sleep gives rest to our minds and body and without that...this whole journey can become overwhelming.  I know it did for me.

 

Take care and even if you don't sleep...rest your body.  Don't do like I did and get up every 10 minutes, watching tv and clicking on this computer.  I think that just made it worse!

 

Well, I think I'll go clean something.  I have the very rare luxury of having today off of work.  Sorry about the long rambling post...but I just want to gather each and every one of you in my arms and make it all better.  If I can do or say anything to give that one person the strength to push through another day....I'd do it!!

 

Lots of Love and Support,

 

Jen

thank you for posting - it is always good to hear from people that have suffered from lack of sleep and found a way to deal with it.

 

i have fibromyalgia and was given multiple benzo's - they all stopped working or drugged me to much.

 

i hear ya on the t-v - i wish i had a t-v in my bed room cause it puts me to sleep when i am in bed - but not necessarily when i am up.  and the puter (my best friend) well it can be a real problem and one i need to deal with.

 

so thank you for the reminders of things i oughta know but still have not dealt with.

Hi All

 

Well it's good to be able to talk to others that have truly suffered from insomnia. Mine started as soon as I had to cold turkey my Dalmane back in January 2007.

 

To begin with I was getting 2 hrs sleep a night then none at all some nights. At first I was in a state of panic, getting up going on the computer, crying when I saw that it was 3 or 4 a.m. Just didnt know what to do or how to cope!

 

After a while maybe weeks, I realised through reading more about it on a forum that to worry was the worst possible thing. So, I began to accept that if I didnt sleep it wasnt the end of the world. I would lie in bed and just wait, hour upon hour for sleep to come, some nights I got 2 hrs some none at all.

 

Your body does learn to cope with no sleep - its strange but I existed like a zombie - walking around running on auto pilot all through the past summer. I hated it but didnt know what to do to deal with it. I was advised by my other forum not to take anything at all, so I didnt. I just suffered and boy did I suffer. If I had not had a friend to go shopping for me there are days that I would have starved.

 

This continued all though 2007 and there was just nothing I knew to do to ease it.

Anyway on Xmas Eve I took a childs does of Phenergan syrup and it gave me 5 hrs sleep, it didnt knock me out it took 2 hrs to get sleep - but the next day I feel woozy and light headed and didnt like it. But then on New years eve I slept 5 hrs total and New years day 6 hrs I couldnt believe it. This lasted only 4 days and then I went back to the 2 hrs a night.

 

In the middle of January I e mailed Heather Ashton and asked her advice, she mailed me back in two days and said that I didnt have to endure this for this length of time. I could either take phenergan for two wks duration or take it on an odd day here and there to give me in her words ' a treat'. She said that the advice that I had been given which went against Phenergan was wrong, and that after all this time I should have had some relief from the insomnia albeit short lived. She did stress that I wasnt to take it for more than 2 wks or it would become addictive.

 

On the 31st January I took the adult dose and once again it didnt knock me out but after 2 hrs I got 5 hrs sleep. Then for the next 8 days without taking anything my sleep was great, I was going off within 30 mins and sleeping for 4 or 5 hrs straight and then going back off for another hour! I was thrilled and thought wow this has beaten it I have shown my brain what its supposed to do and its learned!

 

Sadly this didnt last and for the past two nights without taking anything I have had 3 or 4 hrs max. So, it has given me hope that one day my system will know what its supposed to do. I will endure this now for another week or so and then maybe give myself one nights 'treat' as suggested.

 

Other than this I can offer no help but to say that aceptance is half of the battle, I listen to audio c.d.'s hoping to drift off - sometimes I do sometimes not.

I only have one cup of coffee a day and that is at 8 a.m. I just do not know that there is an answer other than time!

 

Good luck All - if anyone finds anything please let me know.

I have tried breathing excercises, reading, all the things that the sites suggest.

thank you diane - others may have documented what they went through - but i don't know where - this will give others a reference.  i am glade you mentioned that people grow immune to sleep aids - i know i spent too much time trying to find the perfect aid and growing used to them all.

 

so i think the trick is "limit" the amount of time on a sleep aid.

Couldnt agree more - but I have never taken anything two nights running! I have only ever taken Phenergan once a month max during the past 3 months prior to that I just endured it!

 

 

ok - that puts supplements into some perspective - the caveat is to use them sparingly.  i screwed up when i searched for yet another perfect pill and got accustomed to each one - after another.

 

so here i am now - slept last night no supplement - whew - although i am taking adrenal support - i guess i am still searching.

Take care and even if you don't sleep...rest your body.  Don't do like I did and get up every 10 minutes, watching tv and clicking on this computer.  I think that just made it worse!

 

 

Jen, I hate when I read books on sleep and they say not to stay in bed if you can't fall asleep. I never believed it. I always felt I was better off just quietly resting. Then I read Deepak Chopra saying the same thing. He said even if you are not asleep, or only in light sleep, your body is resting and doing some recovery. Maybe not ideal, but better then getting up and doing something!!

As soon as you believe this, sometimes that is enough to relax you, and you may actually fall asleep!

I must have read the same book you did...LOL  I remember reading something that said if you're not asleep within 20 minutes get up and watch tv or read a book.  Well, all that did was make me watch the clock and become more and more agitated that the 20 minute mark was coming up and I wasn't asleep!!

 

Jen

i lay in bed for an hour or two after waking - i feel like that really adds to my getting centered.  rest is rest - i take it any way i can.

Hi

When Acceptance set in I decided to stay in bed too, to get all the rest that I could and partly cos I was so tired I didnt feel like getting up and walking about.

So, I agree even when not asleep resting is good for us!

diane how long did it take you to get out of that exhausted phase of recovery?

I'll admit the last month I've been taking meletonin, and it has helped me be able to have a good deep sleep. One thing I do worry about is that I will become very depended on it, as I forgot it one night, and found that I took up to 2 hours tossing and turning to fall asleep, and that I wake up be even the slightest sound. But the melentonin has in a way helped, me somehow, with not going to the BR as much as I used to. I feel the most normal right now, then I have in a while (due to the w/d) 

well it is working for you - so why wouldn't you use it.  i used supplements when they worked to - but then they stopped working   and there i was wired and freaked.

 

i have heard that sleeping patterns returned - but i didn't know when or how - BUT - for the last two nights i slept well and w/o help.

 

unfortunately i didn't write down all the steps - all the phases and as people hit the wall on sleep and other things i thought "lets compile some info".

Silver 

 

Well to be completely honest with you I had rare days where I had energy whilst only having 2 hrs sleep - but they were rare!

It has only really been this last couple of days that I have actually began to feel 'this is the me I remember'.

Although my sleep is still erratic and I have only had 4 hrs total a night I feel better at last! Dont know how long this spell will last, but, I am happy to have it!

I dont feel like a zombie walking about all day and dont ache all over which is great.

I have not taken anything now for sleep for a couple of weeks, I limit myself to taking Phenergan just once or twice a month. As I dont want to feel that I am only sleeping because of it, sounds silly I know but although there are times that I need to catch up on some zzz's most of the time I want to see this out and find out how long before I actually go off to sleep naturally!

 

 

diane you sound really together for someone that went through a cold turkey.

 

ok - i have my fingers crossed - i have not taken anything for a while - and am not taking (teas) non pill supplements for a few days now and sleep is normal - i will see how long this lasts.

 

i agree supplements may have just may have slowed down the natural return of sleep - because i grew resistant to them - and when they stopped i felt like i was going through withdrawal all over again - it was scary.

diane you sound really together for someone that went through a cold turkey.

 

ok - i have my fingers crossed - i have not taken anything for a while - and am not taking (teas) non pill supplements for a few days now and sleep is normal - i will see how long this lasts.

 

i agree supplements may have just may have slowed down the natural return of sleep - because i grew resistant to them - and when they stopped i felt like i was going through withdrawal all over again - it was scary.

 

Hi Silver....I'm SO anti-ANY drug these days and even though I'm fighting constant insomnia right now, I also just stay in bed even if I'm not sleeping. My thoughts are like others, as long as my body is resting, at least I'm getting that. Also, when I finally go down for the night, the computer gets turned off completely and stays off until morning. I am starting to get a few more hours here and there now that I don't get up every time I wake.....unless I have to pee of course. Anyway, I'm trying to make my body do it's job. Hopefully one day we can all be like Jen and sleep 10hrs straight huh? Man, that would be shear heaven. Take care.

Tracy

hi tracy sounds like you are in the acceptance mode - that makes it much easier to deal with.

 

i wish i had better records - i know after quitting i tried to do without and it didn't work - then i was going from one supplement to another - for three nights no i have used nothing and slept well - lets hope it lasts.

 

if it gets too unbearable i think a break is warranted where a supplement may help (for a short time) but be enough to get things going again.

Things that help me go to sleep

 

Orgainzing closets and drawers until I am tired

 

Excercizercising/dancing for an hour

 

Taking a log hot bath with candle light

 

Not getting into bed until I feel physically tired

 

Reading meditation books in bed doing deep rhythmic breathing.

 

Reading Bible and memorizing a Psalm or passage until I can recite from memory. Repeating it until I find deep comfort.

 

Counting all the states in alphabetical order, visualize myself in each of the states doing something interesting . Then begin on all the countries I can think of if the states don't do the job.

 

Making my bed a smooth as possible. fluffing and arranging pillows,fluffing the down comforter, gettng into soft jammies nightgown

 

Thinking about homeless people who don't have beds, making lists of things I want to donate to charities/homeless people, allowing myself to feel sad and praying for people in need. :'(

 

Playing Internet Hearts until I am in a hypnotic trance

 

Thinking about the evolution of hair styles, from the invention of the first hairbrush, wondering about why women started shaving their legs. Wondering if the Southern belles in hoop skirts had hairy legs under all those petticoats.

 

Wondering if Peter Pan and Tinkerbell will visit me tonight and teach

me how to fly. visualize flying into rainbow clouds.

 

 

 

wow peaches you really have a good program going there for yourself.

 

i tried reciting the states alphabetical while reading your post and made it to connecticut which incendently is CT.

Things that help me go to sleep

 

 

 

Peaches, you are adorable!

hi tracy sounds like you are in the acceptance mode - that makes it much easier to deal with.

 

i wish i had better records - i know after quitting i tried to do without and it didn't work - then i was going from one supplement to another - for three nights no i have used nothing and slept well - lets hope it lasts.

 

if it gets too unbearable i think a break is warranted where a supplement may help (for a short time) but be enough to get things going again.

 

I totally agree....if it gets to the point where you are about to put a hole in the wall because of no sleep for days on end, then YES a supp. is in order. I was going to give it ONE more night and then I was going for the benedryl. Luckily I slept well and held off. But you know what? I'm going to get some benedryl in the house anyway, because none of us, no matter how hard we try can live without sleep for a long period of time.  We'll go mad for sure. I just got lucky for a night or two. I just know the insomnia party will park it's RV right next to my bed table again in short order.....LOL.....yes, acceptance is my new coping mechanism. It keeps me from punching holes in my bedroom wall 

Hugs 

Tracy

we sure have had an insomnia party or two right on these boards - they can be fun.     

I have been having some terrible insomnia issues lately, partly due to withdrawal and partly due to pipe noise issues in my apartment building. I was getting completely desperate and frayed. I did take some melatonin and it put me to sleep for a few hours but I also felt groggy and depressed the next day, and when I took it the following night, I actually got nauseous and threw up.

 

I have sometimes brewed a very strong chamomile tea (I take the bulk chamomile flowers and put about five heaping teaspoons in a cup and brew it for a few minutes with very hot water then scoop out the flowers and drink).

 

Chamomile tea has apigenin, which is a benzo-like molecule. But not dangerous like benzos because it doesn't change your physiology or receptors, it just adds a supportive plant chemical. However, apigenin also functions like a plant hormone so I can't do this for more than one or two nights without causing myself worse PMS issues.

 

However at least I know there is something in an emergency after 8 or 10 days of 2-4 hours a night.

 

What is phenergen? I would like to speed up my taper but am terrified of the insomnia as I cannot do my work on no sleep and don't even want to leave the house esp. with how difficult and noisy the city is and its winter. I need sleep!

not stressing over lack of sleep helps a lot - the pressure alone can cause insomnia - may of us have learned to operate almost fully on 4 hours of sleep.

 

but if it becomes a case of feeling like you are losing you mind then a sleep aid is good as a break to get you back on track - there is always a caveat though and it is this - they stop working after a few days.

 

i pretty much relied on sleep teas and protein drinks through most of my taper - however once i was off i resorted to over the counter aids and learned they stop working and then i had to just bite the bullet.

 

this thread was started so time lines could be established to figure out when natural sleep returns for me it took a little over a couple of months.

 

however insomnia is insomnia and affects us on post benzo and taper benzo - it is an issue.