Benzo free for almost 6 months but still suffering.

Hi, my name is Chris.

Good to read about everyone who is off or coming off these bad-bad chemicals!!  It is truly a rough ride trying to get these baddies out of your body. 

Been on anything from Ativan, Serlife and Z-dorm to Dormonoct. Went COLD TURKEY on alcohol and cigarettes 12 months ago, and COLD TURKEY on all other benzo's and Dormonoct, which I used for 3 months (sometimes 3 per night!) in August 2007.

Still battleling with insomnia now and then, muscle and joint pains, bad dreams, panick attacks, fatigue and memory loss.  Many times I feel like I am going crazy!  Then thoughts from the past, death, loosing control, poor sight, burning sensation in my brain, confusion and depressing thoughts rule my mind.  I sometimes get these crying fits for no reason. Been on a lot of herbal and natural medication to help me cope, but to no avail.  Is there anybody that's also experiencing these kind of things?  If it wasn't for God and the prayers of my wife and friends... I know it is only time that heals, but that is the most difficult part.

Love to hear from someone that can share their experience.

Chris

Hi Chris, I'm sorry you are still suffering, but the good news is you are off benzos and healing! You're symptoms are not unusual at all for a cold turkey. Very expected. Just try and be patient with your body and mind. It's been through a lot, and just needs time.

Be careful with some herbal and "natural" things. Some can be just as strong and effect the same brain centers as prescription meds. This can slow down healing.

There are many people here that sound just like you, so If you don't hear from anyone with a story, just read a few threads and you will see many going thru the same thing you are. Hang in there, and welcome to BB!

Linda

Hi Chris,

Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

'August 2007' - was that when you finished or started your three months of benzo use?

Hi Colin,

I stopped using Dormonoct (3 months) and Serlife, (1 month) Seroquel (1 week) on August 18, 2007.  First 3 weeks were hell.  Seisure kind of attacks, panick, and confusion.  Since the fifth month it seems like it is reaching a peak now.  Sudden mood changes, pain in my body, confucion, panick and headaches. You say you tapered for 6 months.  Did you suffer from w/d, and for how long?

Thanks for your reply.

Chris

hi chris welcome to the forum - i withdrew in 12/3/07 and i find sleep is still difficult and needs to be dealt with - lack of sleep can amplify many situations.

some people use whey protien to help rebuild the gaba receptors and i found it helped during my taper - i may return to that.

Hi Chris. Welcome to B-buddies. I don't know much about going cold turkey, but I came close with too fast of a taper off of Klonopin and had alot of the same symptoms as you. You're body is trying to heal itself, and even though it may seem unbearable right now, please know that it does get better with time. Personally, I would try to stay away from taking too many herbal remedies because they too can cause some weird symtoms. Chamomile tea is my best friend right now. Also, I've learned from a few kind people on here about some deep breathing to help relax your mind and body. Take real deep, long breath through your nose counting slowly to 4, then exhale through your mouth slowly also counting to 4. Try that several times in a row. I do that whenever the fear and anxiety and depression get real bad and it REALLY does help. Some folks here use melantonin, calms forte, benadryl for sleep. I've been sucking it up and trying to make my body do it's job in that department. No, I don't sleep well at all, but I'm stubborn!! If I get beat down enough I'll likely resort to a sleep aid though. Other than that, hang in there and know that you've come to a great place for support. Take Care.

Tracy (tlw)

Hi Chris,

I cold turkeyed it, too.  Read my signature line.  It a horrible thing to do but by the grace of God we lived through it.  I experienced pretty much everthing you described, my burning pain is not in my brain but in my feet.  But it was there to some degree before the cold turkey (c/t) because I was in tolerance and didn't know that was what was wrong with me.

If you were like me you stopped the drugs without knowing that it would drop you into the pits of hell.  But what is done is done and we can only go forward from here.  Have you been totally off the drugs since August?  Do not reinstate anything if you are drug free.  Chances are they will not work for you the same way and you will be in worse condition.

I tried several herbal and natural medications and found they made the symptoms worse.  They really aggravated my nervous system.  I quit taking everything.  I also found processed food aggravated everything.  I now eat whole food and things I make from scratch.  It's hard but worth it.  If you stop the supplements and change your diet I think you will find that your system will calm down some.  Your nervous system is so raw and damaged from the meds that it is sensitive to things that never bothered you before.  I became allergic to my dogs that we have had for 8 years. 

Unfortunately, there is no set pattern for this.  If you will go to my blog and read about Post-Acute Systems (page 6 I think) I think what is happening to you will make a little more sense.  It's not nice, but knowledge is power. 

I've been promised that this will get better and eventually go away.  Have faith.

Ts

Hi Tracy,

Camomile tea-also my best friend at night.  My wife brews up a "dubble dose" before bedtime.  Slept till 08:30 this morning!!!  Praise God!

Hope your sleep pattern gets better-it will!

Have a great day,

C.

Silver, raw emotions - man that hits me!  Everything in overdrive sometimes.  Yesterday it made me feel like i'm going mad again.  Glad you told me about the sweating - like a pig!

Thanks everybody for your help and support.

C.

Hi Ts,

Thank you for your reply.  Calms you down if you hear other people experiencing the same stuff as yourself.  Makes you feel less "going mad"!

Yes I stopped taking them on 18 Aug '07, just sometimes (maybe once a week) when I feel like I cannot bear it anymore I will take a 1.5mg Bromazepam.  It calms me down, but I think no more of those anymore, it will just keep on slowing me down in recovering.  Maybe a camomile tea in the middle of the day will also help?

I stopped using all herbal meds, only taking Omega 3.

Me and my wife are fasting till Friday, and from then on we will do the NO PRESERVATIVES thing.  Anything that will help to lessen the w/d symptoms I will try.

Read your blog, and hope you are doing better.  My feet burned during the first 2 months, later just needles and pins, but now no more of those signs.  I find that there is just always "something new"  But it all gets better.  Worst for me now is the burning in my brain, the thoughts that run and makes me feel i'm going mad.  But I do understand that that is signs of healing, so i'm just trusting God for carring me through.  I believe that the only reason I'm still alive.

Hope you'll have a great day.

C.

how long did it take for the burning to slow down? - to stop?

how about your stomach - how long before that returned to normal?

Hi,

The burning was not at all as bad as Ts's, but I think it surpassed in about month 3.  But now and then it just flickers up, like yesterday for half an hour or so.  But its definitely not bothering me anymore.

About the stomach - WOW! Had problems with my stomach since I stopped drinking and smoking in Jan 2007 - also cold turkey.  Became worse after the Benzo c/t.  Ran to doctors, had scans of the stomach and large intestine, but nothing wrong!  Even heard that maybe I had pancreatic cancer?! Would say that apart from the "brain burning" and "feel like I'm going mad", cramps and jointpains and bad eyesight, the stomach is the worst.  When I wake up at night it's like my brain is asking: so where's your stomach?  Why is it not bothering you- and then the trouble starts!

I sometimes describe it to my wife like something's exploding in my stomach, and the all other pains come - maybe panick?  I don't know.  But since I stopped using all herbal and natural remedies a week ago, I think I'm doing better.

Why did you ask about the stomach?  What do you experience?

i am asking because people especially on a valium taper are afraid it will never end.  i would like people who are off - or trying to get off to have some documented information on time lines of recovery.

i think posters are the documented information - there just is not much out there.

benzo bloat/pain leaves some to imagine the worst - especially if they have had abdominal problems before - so it would be good to share what the pain feels like and how long it lasts.

for me it was over w/in a month and i knew it was benzo's - well i hoped it was benzo's and it was.

Chris,

I just dropped down to .125 mg of clonazepam and I feel like i'm losing it in my head. I think for people like us, it is impossible to ever go "insane" but the fear of it drives our nerves to no end!