My story of withdrawal so far

I was on xanax xr 1mg, for 3 yrs, and then switched to clonazepam for 1 yr at .5mg 1-3 times a day. I stopped clonazepam cold turkey, so I went though like 2 months, feeling a bit shaky, not being able to walk right, sort of a low appetite, I had trouble sleeping (which lasted like 10 months).  5 months into the withdrawal, I was finding myself, waking up everymorning for 2 months, gagging in the toilet, and feeling sick all day long. I ended up taking a CNS (phenagren) for the nausea, which I really wish I nvr touched (as it did help with the nausea, but I was peeing a whole lot more!! as it messed up my bladder) 7 months into it, my nausea wasn't soo bad, but what bothered me the most, was the constant brain fog(I still have, but not nearly as bad), and sometimes, finding myself, messing up the words in my sentences when I talked(which now 1 yr into the withdrawal, I still have that issue, but not nearly as bad)

 

I still wake up in the morning feeling like I wanna gag, but it doesn't happen, as I've sorta taught myself, how to try to suppress that urge. But I still take pepmo bismo, almost every morning, to ease the nausea some.

 

My emotions can go up and down, making me worry that I'm turning bipolar, but I'm just thinking, its my mind, trying to fix itself, from the damage, the benzo caused.

 

I have some problems with concentration which I think will get better.

 

I've tried to learn to drive 5 months into recovery, but at that time, I couldn't as my system, was still messed up some, which I'm starting to go back to learning again, as my thinking and movement seems to have gottan better.

 

Did anyone, have trouble with holding down a job, because your body movements were too slow, and you had trouble problem solving on the job, to be able to work effectively? as I have had that.

 

Thanks for listening, and look forward to reading what everyone has to say.

Sometimes in the past, I had some problems feeling any kind of everyday emotions, since withdrawaling, is that normal?

the first 10 months I experienced insomnia, now I have no issues with sleeping at night, but I feel more tired during the day. Is that common?

Hi

I can relate to everything you've said, Benzos can really mess you up, I still have isses after 6 months and am not a 100%,but I can pretty much do what I need to do. If you dont have other medical issues and you are improving I think it must be benzo related we arent all the same and it takes some of us longer to fix ourselves, but I havent heard of anyone who doesnt fully recover after time.

Take Care

Bob

hi welcome to the forum.

 

actually you sound pretty good for someone who went thru a cold turkey withdrawal - cold turkey is real hard on a person.

 

i am sorry you went through that - a couple of others on this forum have to and are having a real rough time - but it looks like you are on the mend and doing better.

 

nothing you have mentioned seems unusual to me concerning symptoms from benzo withdrawal much less cold turkey.

 

please feel free to read posts and post where you would like.

 

did you read the very first page prior to the forum page - there is a lot of very interesting information regarding how benzo's affect the body.

 

nothing is permanent - you are mending and getting better - takes some time - but you are getting there.

I do find my social skills starting to do better than when I first stopped. 

 

I get angry sometimes, but most of that is directed towards the doctor who prescribed the benzo to me, when I was only 16 (I'm turning 21 next month)

 

I get good emotion support from my hubby thats why I believe I'm doing well with the withdrawal. He's helped me keep my head from being under the water and wanting to give up.  He's been my rock, to keep me on my feet and to not fall down.

Hi OP,

 

  Considering that you were put on benzos at an age when your brain was still developing, 16!!

I would say that you are doing remarkably well.  You are still just a baby (age is relative) IMO, and youth is on your side. I am sure you will make a full recovery and get your life back. It is great that you have a loving husband to support you in your recovery.

 

  All the emotional, physical and sleep issues you cited are nothing more than withdrawal symptoms.  Your brain is still reeling a bit from being on benzos for 4 years and from your CT.  It will find its way back to normal.

 

  Glad to have you as a new member of BB. If you like, you can start a blog, stay around and give help and support to those who are still withdrawing. 

 

 

XXXXX

Christine/BlueMoth 

 

Thanks 

 

 

Hi OP,

 

  I just moved your poem into the poety section.  We have a place on the board called "Accentuate the Positive"  It is the board where we post our poetry, quotes, stories etc. If you want to post more poems, be sure to put them on that board, since this one is only for DISCUSSIONS about withdrawals.  :thumbsup:

 

XXXXX

Christine/BlueMoth

ok Thanks, I didn't know there was a board for those.

:thumbsup:

 

Go read through the entries if you like.  We had started a thread there called "the neverending story", that never go finished, LOL.  We need someone new to kick start it for us.

OP,

 

  I forgot to mention, you are welcome to start a blog and keep track of your progress there. It is fun to have a blog, keep a daily record and visit other member's blogs too. There are lots of friendly people here who would love a new buddy to come visit them.  You can also post your poetry on your blog, that is a private place to post just about anything you like.  If you would like to start one, go into the NEXUS and to MEMBERS BLOGS, click on new topic and call your blog any name you like!

 

  XXXXX

  Christine/BlueMoth

one person,

 

Welcome to benzo buddies.  Somehow I missed you.  It's good to have another benzo survivor on the board.  We don't have enough of them.

 

I look forward to chatting with you.

 

Sandy

Thanks for the Welcomes, I hope to be part of this forum for awhile, and too help and get help in this journey of recovery