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I have physically changed while withdrawing


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Lizzie

I taper for year , was fit 120 /5.7, tonned little body from exercise and eat right .

I run 2000 upstairs  in hills  in 7 minutes  2 years ago ., still on drug . I dont know how i survived that . Never celulites , ever .

Now from 6 months ago 140 lbs . All this happen after taper was over .

All taper time I look normal , tone  body , pretty face , this happen  about year out , I see changes in face , sagging skin, neck , arms , celulites

, hands , everywhere .

That time i was riding bike  maybe 5 hours daily only up to hill .  Tonned body . All this muscles loss happen  fast maybe over 2 weeks to months . My mom is 70 , and dont; have  arms , celulites , sagging skin like what happen to me .

And in family genes we look younger , I am first look  10 years older then 45 .

So I know is Clonazepam W/s still . :smitten:

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This is such an honest thread. I look in the mirror and see my sister who is 18 years older than I am now. My eyes look sad all the time and I have lines that will never leave my forehead now. I wish there was some way to let the world know what we have gone through so we could feel proud of our endurance and survival and what we look like because of how strong we have had to be through all of this. I know I can't see any of you but you all look like beautiful survivors to me.
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This is such an honest thread. I look in the mirror and see my sister who is 18 years older than I am now. My eyes look sad all the time and I have lines that will never leave my forehead now. I wish there was some way to let the world know what we have gone through so we could feel proud of our endurance and survival and what we look like because of how strong we have had to be through all of this. I know I can't see any of you but you all look like beautiful survivors to me.

 

wonderful post  :smitten:

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Thank you, Erika, for answering me. 

 

This benzo withdrawal is so cruel .......... if it's not one thing, it's another!

 

I agree with Spunky that you and everyone are "beautiful survivors" .......... full recovery will happen.  It is just going to take more time ...

 

Lizie

 

 

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I can't believe how much I have changed! From my head to my toes, it seems that this withdrawal has affected every cell in my body. Dry, brittle hair, dark circles, bloodshot eyes, dry skin, benzo belly....and I can go on. My confidence has gone from very high to down in the dumps. I wish that someone would stop by and reassure us that this ALL goes away. Will we ever look the same again??  :-\
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Hi Redeyes

and you was only on 3 week. what nightmare. I hope someone who is longer off let us know if  we will look normal again or this is .

 

:smitten:

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  The Eyes are doorways to our Soul!!!!

 

[/quoe]      Yes , you right  Not FM , my eyes are very sad , , even if smile all day , cannot get that spark back . To sad . :smitten:years hell daily and suffering leave mark on us .

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Me again, it is the muscle loss that is really devestating to me, :( my arms and legs just sag and all this has really happened during the last part of tapering and the 3 months I am off, and believe it or not I can almost feel the wrinkles on my upper lip developing, I always had very smooth skin and my best friend actually asked me if I had botox on my forehead, it was so smooth and wrinkle free. The 20lb weight gain is so discouraging to especially when I am exercising more :'(

I am also getting small pimples on my cheeks, everyday, whats up with that, more now than when I was a teenager 100 yrs ago :tickedoff:

I too hope someone can join here with hope that it all will improve in a month or six or a year.

I hope others reading this do not think, omg, these women are complaining about there looks when I am suffering through hell, as this is not meant to minimize your suffering but just somewhere we can vent :smitten:

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I so appreciate this thread.  all the lipo I had and a tummy tuck wou would never know that i had it now lol.  I was so sick and drunk while on benzos I look back at the pics of me and I am shocked at how bad I looked.  the weight gain and bloating.  I was always so active and fit until this poison.  now I have gained more weight bloated from elevated stress hormones, and inactivity from being so sick, and eating is my only pleasure for now to get thru this horrible thing.  my hair is dry eyes sunk in head, skin looks a hundred yrs old, muscle wasting and weakness my arms jiggle like jelly 

 

I don't know if my eyes are stable are not, I have flucuations in my vision, so days are good some are bad.  I am lucky I am not blind.  15 yrs ago I had RK to correct nearsightedness, then 3 yrs ago I had lasik which did not correct my vision, in glasses for 2 yrs vision still messed up, then 1 yr ago finally had cataract surgery which corrected my vision alot with lens implants, going to eye doctor in 2 wks for a checkup.  may have to have glasses. 

 

I can't exercise.  I am so exhausted that I am just trying to rest and get thru this.  I am hoping that as I heal, my energy will pick up and I will be able to resume activity again.  it has been so painful to realize what has happened to my body  it hurts

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I am the same way, dark circles under the eyes, pale skin, lost muscle tone,I have long curly hair, and it is even going flat. I don't need a Hallowe'en costume, I could go out as Morticia's twin LOL !!! I am 43 and have always looked younger than my age. Now I look and feel 10 years older. I hope we all look and feel healthy and normal again :)
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I am sure, given time, good health and joy will return ...... but obviously it is going to take time.

 

We really need someone who has recovered to join in here ....... I am still tapering and my hair is already going bonkers !!

 

Take care everyone,

 

Lizie

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Me again, it is the muscle loss that is really devestating to me, :( my arms and legs just sag and all this has really happened during the last part of tapering and the 3 months I am off, and believe it or not I can almost feel the wrinkles on my upper lip developing, I always had very smooth skin and my best friend actually asked me if I had botox on my forehead, it was so smooth and wrinkle free. The 20lb weight gain is so discouraging to especially when I am exercising more :'(

I am also getting small pimples on my cheeks, everyday, whats up with that, more now than when I was a teenager 100 yrs ago :tickedoff:

I too hope someone can join here with hope that it all will improve in a month or six or a year.

I hope others reading this do not think, omg, these women are complaining about there looks when I am suffering through hell, as this is not meant to minimize your suffering but just somewhere we can vent :smitten:

 

 

Lady , I have little wrinkels on my upper lip , like if you smoke to much ,, NEVER had that in my life . This is not about looks , we are affected mentaly , every way , this benzo is realy  poison .

Yes I had that too . , just little ,m but in 45 no reason have this over night . I dont; smoke .

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Hi - you should be so proud of yourself. In my opinion benzo withdrawal is the worst and hardest thing that I've ever gone through (still going through).

The good news is that those physical things can be corrected. Now that your starting to feel better maybe you can start exercising. That can really improve ones appearance. Also a good skin care regimen can make a world of difference. I am an esthetician and have continued my skin care routine throughout this nightmare and it has helped. Good nutrition can also help keep you youthful. Go treat yourself to a good facial and some new skin care. You've earned it!!!!

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Willow

I going with you  . :D:laugh:

We all here have the same , lost muscles , benzo belly , skinny face ,  dark eyes ,  horrible hair  ,  all age in short  period of time after quit benzo .

This must  be w/d and i hope with time , we look like before again .

I was in horror when look in mirror  ,  how old and skinny my face look , until i see i lost  facial muscles . I was in horror so scared what is this .

Now  , feel better  b/c am not alone , so for sure  ladies  like other symptoms fade away , this will too .

We all have the same . Must  be w/d and must go away  .

Love to all , is little funny  , yet sad . :smitten:

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Hi - you should be so proud of yourself. In my opinion benzo withdrawal is the worst and hardest thing that I've ever gone through (still going through).

The good news is that those physical things can be corrected. Now that your starting to feel better maybe you can start exercising. That can really improve ones appearance. Also a good skin care regimen can make a world of difference. I am an esthetician and have continued my skin care routine throughout this nightmare and it has helped. Good nutrition can also help keep you youthful. Go treat yourself to a good facial and some new skin care. You've earned it!!!!

 

 

Hi Benzo

I bike all this time and exercise almost    year, after I quit  and eat very healthy .

I had beautiful skin and solid body , this  muscle loss cannot be corrected  with any diet , make up ,  , exercise .  Only plastic surgeon , yet  ;) ;) :), we cannot go b/c cannot take pain killers .

I went for facial , do nothing , is facial  muscle loss , have to hope and wait  for muscle come back .

Like you said exercise is great , yes , but do nothing for benzo belly .

I need  20 kgs Restyline [ fillers ] in my face  ;) ;), yet again , cannot go because  in Restyline is benzo .  Also in botox .

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hi ladies!

hi there benzobite, i am an Esthetician too and tried like hell to keep up my skin care routine. and i have but what my brain has done to my face, oh my God! purple 'brain' lines all over. and yes about the Hands, my hands have lost there own sorta muscle tone, weird.

i do hope that it comes back. i don't have any wrinkles or lines and i don't think i ever will thank God! because i am so thin. i am about 90lbs. i just am not gaining because of what my brain is doing and all the activity.

i was just looking in the mirror tonight and completely humbled by this experience and this is definitely the oldest i will ever look at any age. i am grateful that i don't think i will have wrinkles but the over all energy and color of my face and skin, not good. very scaring! wrinkles or not. i have been in my night gowns for 6 months straight. i have not been able to exercise and i can't move my body yet. the worst C/t withdrawal.

and yes everything has changed. the thing i really am bothered my is that gray patch and i don't wish to ever color my hair but i may have to. i am thinking about just letting my natural color hair come through but that would be some gray and i am not ready! darn! never will be ready.

this body needs an over haul. and i was not like this while i was tapering. not at all. and i have cried from the lack of recognition in my face. pretty upset that i had to do this. and then being in dp and dr and have changed so much. no wonder i don't recognize myself.

i have to believe that if i keep feeding the cell with all good and all good thoughts and beliefs and start moving my body, that the energy of my whole constitution will change back to a pretty young thing. otherwise i guess i look like a pretty old woman and that's not bad either  :laugh:

oh the humble -ness as set in for the night!

what a great thread! you all are wonderful. and i will save a little prayer for us. and say

                      Baker Baker baking a Cake, make me a Day! make me Whole Again ~

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I have just the opposite going on. I am 45 years old and look young, vibrant, I work out doing aerobics and dancing and lifting heavy weights. My hair is growing nice like when I was younger and my skin looks fantastic. I go to tanning beds again too. I remember on the Ativan I gained weight and looked like the walking dead. My hair was dry and my complexion looked bad, with a pale look. I am now tapering my bedtime dose of the Librium I was crossed over to. I have maybe five months left of this. I can't wait until I drop the last dose. I wish it was today. I am my old self and have the same attitude I use to have before I started the benzo's. Yes, it will get better.
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miss kim,

 

I'm just going to throw this out there...

 

I read on your post on the tinnitus support thread that you don't have it and sleep great. Now I read here on the physically changed support thread that you're post benzo w/d and look better than you ever have. 

 

Do you really think it's appropriate for you to make these posts to those of us who are devastated by these issues? 

 

I'm just sayin'.

 

ginger

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Well, we did ask in this thread for anyone to pop in that has seen improvement to give us hope and I believe that was Miss Kims intent,  :thumbsup:

Ladygrace12 :smitten:

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Hi

I am 33 and look horrible. Dark circles around my eyes, first gain lot of weight then lose a lot (low fat diet due to pancreatitis), lost lot of muscles on my face, thin hair, don't do any exercises and so on.

 

Marry

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Hi ladies

I dont' have any  huge  wrinkles , but my face , hands , body lost all muscles  and neck . Every muscle is gone like over night . Not any other problem , just muscle loss all over . :smitten:

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I was originally prescribed clonazepam as a a muscle relaxer ..... of course it didn't work .....but I am wondering if all this muscle stuff that

 

everyone mentions is withdrawal only and therefore temporary?  Other symptoms seem to diminish - so I am hoping with good nutrition

 

and exercise this too will pass .......

 

As for Halloween tonight - Morticia has nothing on me !! lol

 

Lizie

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This thread is great!  I can relate to all of it too!  It's made me laugh today when all I want to do is cry.  Although it's not fun losing our physical qualities through this surely they will return eventually right? :thumbsup:
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