How many people HAVE to work while tapering

Find myself agreeing with etown. I read that same "success" story when I was in acute. Bad idea. It's one of the reasons I stopped straying too far. You can find support here on BBs or you can drive yourself crazy. I know where to go where I'm not going to find drive myself crazy.

 

Drew I understand but you don't even know these people and their history's. Maybe Saga, Eliz, DP and the rest on this thread will lift you up. There's so much negativity at times and when there isn't there will be. You've been through too much to let some stranger mess up your progress.

Love you too much man

etown

I agree with all of you about looking around and what you'll find on BB. The scary is certainly out there and easy to stumble into. But I think I get where Drew is at. Post taper and feeling crappy is a difficult and sometimes dark place. I want to hear about the light too. I want to know the sunny stories with happy endings. My friends on BB are like me, they're in it. They can't tell me how great it is on the other side because they're not there yet. The success stories offer that possibility. Hope. Unless they don't and then it's like your eyeballs have been burned.

 

On another note- does anyone know about Gingko and St. John's wort? I'm afraid they're messing each other up. StJohns wort has been my teddy bear like comfort against depression. Not really sure it's doing anything but don't really want to drop it and find out the hard way. I've read though, that they may not be best together, more agitation and such.

 

I don't think I could ever conclude someone going on success stories was 'looking' for crap on BBs.

E posted something from their just a few pages back. Presumably there is helpful stuff there. I wouldn't know because I'm like JJ and a) have stumbled on bad there before b) am still tapering and don't want to think that far ahead.

If I was through my taper and looking for hope though I can imagine success stories being a place I might want to do that. With that in mind it should be a safe place.

Some of the buddy blogs are pretty positive.  Like jackie brown. But you know what is surprisingly positive? Gussy88's latest posts.If ever there was a guy you thought was miserable it was him.  He constantly threatened to reinstate. Now at around a year he is back to running and working and even grudgingly admitting he is somewhat better.

 

2) Don't replace the benzo addiction with another one.  When I first started tapering, I felt so horrible that I was willing to do or try anything to feel better.  I smoked marijuana for the first time in my life, I took a suite of vitamins and herbs, iced my head constantly, etc. - nothing was too crazy if I thought it might help.  But the reality is, none of it did.  I don't think anything but time can actually heal this, and it's important not to replace one addiction for another.  If your reflex is still, "I feel like crap from benzo withdrawals, so I should take <Y>," even if Y is a vitamin or supplement, you're still in the wrong mindset.  You still think consumption of things is what you need when the reality is, you probably don't.

 

Enjoyed reading most of this, but have to take exception to this bit. I don't see any virtue in toughing through withdrawal if there are things that can make it an easier journey. People respond differently to different things, and there are no magic bullets, but I know personally I use other medications to temper withdrawal and I certainly don't see it as some sort of failure. Just my two cents, to be taken or left as you please. 

 

Exercise and going slow I can get 100% behind. 

Sadly there are a lot of threads that should or appear to be safe and turn out to be a horroe show. I have 2 threads show up and have for 2 1/2 years. The rest is background noise IMO

etown

I agree with all of you about looking around and what you'll find on BB. The scary is certainly out there and easy to stumble into. But I think I get where Drew is at. Post taper and feeling crappy is a difficult and sometimes dark place. I want to hear about the light too. I want to know the sunny stories with happy endings. My friends on BB are like me, they're in it. They can't tell me how great it is on the other side because they're not there yet. The success stories offer that possibility. Hope. Unless they don't and then it's like your eyeballs have

 

Well said peace.  Thx.

 

There really is more of a vacuum post jump than during the taper.    That's a pretty sad statement I just wrote.

Some of the buddy blogs are pretty positive.  Like jackie brown. But you know what is surprisingly positive? Gussy88's latest posts.If ever there was a guy you thought was miserable it was him.  He constantly threatened to reinstate. Now at around a year he is back to running and working and even grudgingly admitting he is somewhat better.

 

Really? Now that I gotta see!

Good on him

JJ its all just info

etown

JJ its all just info

etown

 

Yes, you did say that in the intro, so I was forewarned. I did find points 6 and 7 to be particularly powerful. I'm still working hard on on 6, it's a toughy for me. I'll get there someday.

 

Seems like everyday I think less about my taper. Life has it's wonderful moments, even in withdrawal.

 

Peace my friends. And as a wise man once said, "we're all one day closer" 

I don't think I could ever conclude someone going on success stories was 'looking' for crap on BBs.

E posted something from their just a few pages back. Presumably there is helpful stuff there. I wouldn't know because I'm like JJ and a) have stumbled on bad there before b) am still tapering and don't want to think that far ahead.

If I was through my taper and looking for hope though I can imagine success stories being a place I might want to do that. With that in mind it should be a safe place.

 

I'm with you Smiffy! The Success Stories should be just that - successful and positive. It's not like someone has gone looking for negative stuff. If you go to the protracted section, and then get scared by what you read, then you get what you asked for, but no one would think in their wildest dreams that going to the success stories would frighten them, but frighten them it does. Not cool!!! 

Remember there's brain plasticity at work, and people's brains do change and heal after concussions, strokes, all manner of things. 

Hi Iggie!

 

This is true...man you guys were busy last night!

 

On a serious note, one of the reasons I don't get too bent out of shape about a lot of this is sadly my up close view of brain damage from medicine and my personal experience recovering from 3 severe concussions.

 

Having seen my step daughter go from a drooling can't tie her own shoes mess when she was released from the hospital after intensive efforts to stabilize her seizures, to a young woman who was a lot to return to independent living and a full time job showed me the miracle of the way our brains are able to heal themselves. I never would have believed it if I hadn't been her caretaker.

 

I'm sorry I can't elaborate more this morning, I can't eat breakfast and type, but I know we have the enormous ability to heal.

 

I replied to Drew on his blog last night, but I agree the story has no place in the success section. I saw it a long time ago and it's disturbing...

 

Saga

Hi Saga  Heal, heal, heal lady, you will! 

Now, Im off for a 5 mile hike, benzo w/d and all, be damned, Im building a better brain 

Hi Iggie!

 

This is true...man you guys were busy last night!

 

On a serious note, one of the reasons I don't get too bent out of shape about a lot of this is sadly my up close view of brain damage from medicine and my personal experience recovering from 3 severe concussions.

 

 

Recovering from concussions is interesting isn't it Saga? I've never recovered from one till I did late last year. Would it have been as bad without the benzo w/d? Probably not, though I'll never know. I know women are more likely to get protracted concussion symptoms. It does give some perspective on the brain and perhaps makes some things less scary. At first it frightens one enormously to lose brain capacity. It feels so fundamental. It IS so fundamental. But then, even as you doubt it, you do heal...

Even 1 mg lower and I know I'm storing more connected memories than before. My hippocampus is working better integrating working memory and long term memory. That issue was mostly the side effects of the drugs rather than benzo w/d I think. Though benzo w/d does it too, as does concussion.

It must be even more interesting watching your daughter in law Saga.

Vagus nerve is having a come back in honor of magnificent brraaainnnnssss

 

http://robinvanderplank.co.za/resources/vagus%20nerve%20diagram.jpg

 

Hi by the way  . I'm reading about transitivity. Trust me it is far more boring than it sounds. I am, however, possibly enjoying it despite myself. Perhaps I like the accomplishment more than anything.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to drop in and let all of you know that I am ok. I keep chipping downward....not without problems...toward the end. As of this morning I am at .43. It has never occurred to me not to finish this but I have at times been drowning at the final stages. At 20 months it never fails to amaze me how this has taken over my life. All of it. I am hanging on at work and at this time vacillate between mental and physical sx that can be so extreme that I want to bang my head against the wall. Weary would be the best way to describe me. I will be back at some point but have come to terms with the fact that each and every day I am just striving to get through the day. I think of you guys a lot and hope that all of you keep your heads above water.

Best,

CC

CC-

It's so good to hear from you and see your strong gorgeous profile picture. I'm sorry each day is difficult. I know the feeling all too well. Chip chip, chip away. You are amazing.

Hi CC!  Glad you dropped by. Just trying to notch another day...I know the feeling.

Hello my fellow worker bees

 

It really does suck to have to work while tapering eh?  I feel like I could have been well done with my taper if I didn't need to be stable enough to work this whole time.  Well well, here I am anyways.

 

I usually post on benzo buddies when I am feeling horrible.  I lowered my dose from .5mg Klonopin daily to .375mg Klonopin daily about 6 weeks ago.  It was a lot of ups and downs but this past week I seem to have reached a clearing.  I have been relatively symptom free.  Isn't it crazy how easy work becomes when you are not in the heat of benzo w/d?

 

So I am meeting my psychiatrist this Thursday (I meet him once every 3 months).  I'm going to present to him the situation.  I have managed to get from 4mg Klonopin daily to .375mg Klonopin daily over the period of about 2 years and keep my life and sanity.  I want to ask him how to best proceed to come off benzos but not loose the things I have fought so hard to keep with a slow taper.  I have tapered thus far with available Klonopin doses with 2 to 3 months breaks in between.

 

My idea is to taper from .375mg Klonopin daily to .25mg Klonopin daily in about 2 weeks from now.  I am currently taking the .125mg Klonopin wafers (2 wafers in the morning and one wafer midday to make .375mg Klonopin daily).  This cut is a no-brainer to me because all I have to do is switch to 1 wafer in the morning and 1 midday.  This would also even out my doses (one dose of  .125 Klonopin wafer in the morning and one dose of .125mg Klonopin wafer midday to make .25mg Klonopin daily)

 

The other option is to finally give up on Klonopin and its unforgiving potency and do a crossover to Valium.  I could finish off this taper on available Valium doses.  It would also be nice to be off the beast that is Klonopin; even to be dependent on Valium instead would feel like progress.

 

My goal is to be benzo free by 2015.  Is this doable?

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

Brian

Brian,

 

That might be a tough schedule to be free by 2015 if you swapped to V. You would be crossing over to about 7-8mg of V.  I would recommend that and erring on a slightly higher dose of 8-9. The crossover will take a few weeks but I highly recommend it as V is much more forgiving if the symptoms get crushing.

It seems like you are doing well tapering K. I made it from 3 to .75 before I swapped.  It became undo able. You may want to ride the K all the way down as you seem to be doing ok in the context of tapering.  Keep the crossover in your back pocket if the shit hits the fan.

K is evil but V is not so kind either.  .  There is no easy way through this. Feel free to ask any other questions.

 

 

Drew

Thank you all so much for your support....I have been so messed up that I m even having a difficult time navigating these posts..yikes... !!! Yes I took a major cut to begin with ....now trying to cut slowly from 2mg V. I will go slowly....xo

Good Morning Workers.

 

Thank goodness for the weekend right?  Here is my latest update.  Sorry to say these updates are not more eventful.  I guess boring can be interpreted as good news in Benzo Withdrawal.

 

- Three days before my last actual cut I started feeling the tightness in the spot on my back just above my shoulder blades.  It was very minor and mostly just an annoyance like a sore muscle would be.

 

Day 1 of Vapor Caper - tightness there, no worse no better, sleep not perfect but not worse

Day 2 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 3 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 4 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 5 of Vapor Caper - tightness did not start until late in the day and only lasted a little while.  sleep was poor but probably had more to do with the thunderstorm directly overhead and my daughters cat wailing in the hallway being a Skeerdy Kat, and not benzo withdrawal.

Day 6 of Vapor Caper  - tightness only for a little while in the evening.  Fell asleep between 10:30 pm and 11:00 pm, woke after 1 am, fell back asleep until after 5am

 

Over all, I feel no better and no worse than before I took my last dose which I am taking as a positive.

 

Now on to more interesting things.  Drew I think I know why you want to read the success stories; for inspiration that you will get there too.  It should be a safe haven board but many of those posts want to drag you through each personal hell like a mine field before you get to the uplifting ending.  You do whatever you need to do to keep motivated and keep coming back here for support.  We gotcher back!

 

CC so good to hear from you and good to see you are still reducing.  You are a tough lady and will get through this!

 

DP I love bananas but hate milk - always have - but I swear its worth a try to get the sleep success you did!

 

I have a weekend of chores I have been putting off and a mountainous pile of laundry calling my name.

 

Have a great weekend everyone!

Hi Brian,

 

I think that any goal is possible as far as when you choose to take your last dose. What we don't get to choose is how fast we heal. It's hard to put away the calendar, but I think that once you do and you are letting your body decide how fast or slow to taper, the time actually goes by quicker. We all do this, but it's kind of interesting how we can be on these drugs for a very long time, but as soon as we decide to come off it needs to happen like yesterday. Patience is hard to come by but we've seen a few examples here where it seems like it's paid off quite well. My advice would be that whatever else you do, don't rush things to meet a deadline - save all that for work 

 

As far as crossing over, that's a tough decision. It makes sense to taper off of the original benzo if you can, however, especially with the potency of k, tapering at the small doses seems like a tough deal. IMO, I think it makes sense to cross over while you're feeling okay rather than putting it off and trying to do it when you are already in a bad spot. Just seems like from what little anecdotal evidence I've seen, it's harder to get stable on smaller doses. Many of us crossed over into the 15 to 7 mg range on our doses and I haven't seen anyone say that they have regretted it. I certainly haven't. But then again, nothing is a sure thing in benzoland.

 

Maybe some other people will be kind enough to weigh in here.

 

By the way, great job in tapering from 3 mg k to where you are at now. That's pretty amazing. Ha, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it should be you giving counsel on the virtues of patience rather than me.

 

 

DP I love bananas but hate milk - always have - but I swear its worth a try to get the sleep success you did!

 

 

 

Well, my good sleep pattern went totally out the window last night. I had one of those nights where I felt like I didn't sleep at all, but when I'd look at the clock something like an hour or two would have elasped, but it didn't feel it, so I must have been sleeping very lightly, and waking often.

 

It's probably (hopefully) just due to me having Thai for dinner last night. I'm not being daunted though because I know I'm not going to have 9 hours every night, and I'm not sure that I want that much sleep every night anyway. I'll be happy with 5-6 hours. Hopefully tonight I will just have a normal restful sleep night. Fingers crossed.