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Causes of depression


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Tony isn't that the truth!  Benzos really do a number on your CNS and cause so many

symptoms that are out of the range of what would be considered "normal" reactions.

The kind of depression caused by benzos is unlike anything I have ever experienced and has nothing to do with circumstances, purely a phyiscal reaction to a messed up brain.  It's like when someone pokes you in the eye  :pokey: you can't help but blink.

No amount of positivity will keep you from blinking.  This depression is a automatic

reflex of the raw wires crossing in the brain.  Only time can fix it!  But it does get better, I can attest to that.

Carole

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
yep i can attest to that - do you withdrawal gradually - take some melatonin before going to bed - just don't put yourself in bad situations - cause you are delicate - we all are or was.
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This is my worst symptom and just hangs on like a back of rocks around my neck.

I wake up every morning and before I can even start to think about the day,

"that feeling" comes over me.  It forces me to be sad.  My brain still needs time to reset itself.  I have been off Temazepam 30 mgs since 07-07-07 and still waiting for that peace and joy promised by those who have reached the "other side".

I feel this is purely a chemical reaction and needs to work itself out.

Carole 

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i used to wake up and announce i hate (fill in the blank) - could be a person place or thing - and might change daily.

 

lately i have not had that problem - who knows maybe i am not really a morning person - but lately it has been better - for a couple of weeks anyway - i realize that could always change - like maybe tomorrow - who knows.

 

right now i am high on the fact that i quite - it has been long - it has been hard - and this is the first time i am off with support - helps - support is always a good thing.

 

i hope things turn around for you soon :angel:

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:pokey:  Yes, see that stick poking the eye?  That is what has been happening to my brain as different pokes from a raw CNS and scrambled brain have caused me to experience crying and anxiety.  Today, no crying, no anxiety.  I did not use any psychological program or any positivity classes....my brain just is resetting itself.

 

Do NOT blame yourself for any of your reactions to this process, just let your brain heal.  Only time and patience works....you cannot hurry it up with any potions or pills.

It will happen, it has happened to me. :thumbsup:

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  • 3 weeks later...

Dear Friends,

 

The depression I'm experiencing is indescribable. It is by far my worst symptom thus far. Some days I just wish I weren't on this planet anymore. I had a wonderful childhood and I used to be a happy person. Even when I developed Graves' disease again in Nova Scotia and had heart problems, I just nonchalantly went to the hospital -- no fear, no depression. Now, I get depression out of the blue on some days, and it's so debilitating, that I can hardly do anything. I KNOW this depression is chemical -- i.e. benzo-induced -- because I had never suffered from depression before in my life. The big question is what to do about it. I bring my husband and all my friends down with complaining about how useless and depressed I feel. Does it improve as we get lower in dose, or is it like a xylophone, better on some days and worse on others? I think someone ought to invent a word "benzopression" because this never happened to me until I reinstated the benzos. Never should have done this, but the last time around, the other symptoms were worse than the depression. Yuck.

 

Love,

Genie

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well during my final taper i started giggling again, i started to smile all the time - even though i was alone - i sued to smile and giggle often - it comes back ;)

 

now i am not completely the person i used to be - i have been seasoned by age and experience - so i may never laugh like i used to i may not walk with a smile on my face all the time - but i am much better.

 

remember who you were - you are still that person - just older - more experienced and soon you will be off benzo's.

 

 

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Does it improve as we get lower in dose, or is it like a xylophone, better on some days and worse on others?

 

 

Genie, for me, the depression subsided as I got lower. I didn't really notice it going down at the time, but looking back, I just know that's what made it dissipate. I am on wellbutrin, but I don't think that did it cuz I've been on that since June, and the depression only really cleared a few weeks ago. Maybe 3 cuts ago. In fact, I wasn't depressed before the klono! Yes, I was suicidal, but it was due to an almost psychotic insomnia, not depression. The depression started after I started the klono and left the hospital.

So take heart. I believe it will pass. Just have patience, my Dear. :)

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  • 2 months later...

Linda,

 

I am glad an antidepressant worked for you. A few years ago, after I C/T, I tried various ADs and wound up in the hospital with hypertension. So, I believe most antidepressants are not for me. The depression is crippling. I just don't want to DO anything much and I cry a lot. But, I know it's the benzos. I never had problems with depression before in my life -- not even during my last taper. This stinks.

 

Love,

Genie

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  • 4 weeks later...

Genie,

 

I'm sitting here in the early morning. I can't sleep and I can't stop crying. I just want to let you know that my heart goes out to you. I'm only twenty five years old. i should be happy and doing all the fun stuff that twenty five year olds do, but i'm paralyzed by anxiety and depression. It feels like someone is constantly zapping my brain, not allowing me to relax. I developed this after I got back from Iraq. Was handed some pills and told that I had PTSD. I don't know why feel this way, but it must be for some reason. I just want my brain to heal. My prayers go out to you.

 

Kevin

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Hi Kshell,

 

Once you are off these drugs you will feel better.  The drs. give us these drugs and the side effects will cause the very thing they are prescribed for.  I makes no sense but we have all had the same experience with them.  But it does get better.

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Thank you for serving our country.

 

Tropicalsoul

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Unfortunately, after being off the drugs for 5 months I have slipped back into the dark deep depression again.  I am so afraid that this will never leave.  Everything looks so bleak and dismal.  I was with a friend yesterday who is diagnosed with stage 4 Ovarian cancer and her outlook on life is much better than mine which only serves to make me feel so guilty about my depression.  I HAVE NOTHING TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT.  Therefore I am hesitant to even verbalize this to anyone around me.  I feel so alone with these feelings.  If I do mention them to my friends I just get the "look".  I have lost my best friend due to the benzo hell of the past 3 years.  she has essentially written me out of her life.  she feels as if I am too negative and I believe she thinks I am mentally ill!! :crazy:

 

What if this does not go away?  do i really need to go back on an A/D?  I hesitate to this since when I tapered off the my A/D is when all this mess started!!

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Thanks Tropic, I do hope the s/x will go away.

 

Max,

My friends have been dropping right and left and now I'm left with the option of moving in with my parents or staying alone (both of which aren't appealing in the least). When it hurts so much, sometimes I can't see a viable end other than suicide (which I will not do), but reading people's recovery stories allows me to step outside of my small "world" and see that, with time, things should get better (however slow it may seem).

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  I HAVE NOTHING TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT. 

 

I know what you mean, and it's the wd making you feel this way.  It's very common and it will go away in time.  Something that has helped a lot of people with depression is Omega 3 capsules.  A high quality brand, made from cold fish, is best, and it won't leave that "fishy" taste when taken with food.

 

Hope this helps... :smitten:

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Kshell I;m only 23. Before I started my taper, and sometimes during I have been severly depressed. To the point I cant get out of bed, crying, sobbing, think I;m losing my mind, want to just sleep for a couple months till this is done or sometimes just die. I have a 9 month old daughter and I should be enjoying this time but instead I live a life of silent (except on here) misery. But I know with all my heart that this is the medication and once I;m off of this poision for good life will once again be good.

You just have to believe that this too shall pass! 

Feel better and be strong!

Amanda

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  • 3 weeks later...

Here I am back on the computer late at night. Can't sleep. You know, the worst feeling is when you feel like crying but are completely unable to. The emotions that are killing me from the inside are so indescribably strong and negative. I told myself I would never updose, and I did tonight and now I feel like an idiot. I went up from .225mg to .5 and it has barely helped. I'm even tempted to jump up to 1 mg and stabilize from there, then titrate. I dropped dose way to fast. My feet twitch uncontrollably and I feel like I have the flu. This really sucks. I just don't know how to knock of this extreme anxiety and depression. Any advice would be most welcome.

 

K

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Hi K,

Well, the depression won't be helped by updosing. It will make it worse in fact. I know how tempting it is to take more when you are feelings so profoundly bad. But you have to remember that it will make you worse, not better.

Continuing your taper is the only thing that will eventually make you feel better, really.

I"m so sorry you are feelings so miserable.

I haven't read your entire story, so I don't know how fast you came off, or how long ago. It's never a good idea to updose after more than a week or two. It almost never works, and can make things worse. I'll go take a look at where you are at.

 

Hang it there ok? It will get better.

And thanks for your service kshell.  :smitten:   

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Kshell I'm sorry your having a hard time. I think all of us go through depression at a time. I know most of my taper has been filled with very bad depression. We just have to ride it out and know that things will get better. They will ya know. This doesnt last forever, once off this poision you will be happy again, living a full happy life without needing this crap.

I really wish there were something I could do to help you out but all I can do is assure you that this WILL get better. Just hang in there, be strong for a little longer and you;ll be better then ever!

 

Amanda  :smitten:

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