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Hello, from another short term Xanax/ Ativan user.


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Hi everyone. I’ve been lurking on this site for a few months—this is a bit overdue!

Basically, I was taking Xanax maybe 3-4 times a week for roughly 2 months (only .25), then switched over to Ativan at about the same rate for about a month. I c/t’d in the beginning of June. So, it was a total of 12 weeks. I had taken Ativan in the past as needed, maybe a few times a week for 2-3 weeks, but then I would be able to stop without any real issue. Though, in hindsight, I did always feel a bit off the following week or so after stopping.

 

I had originally started Xanax because I wanted to try something more fast acting after a panic attack. In the past, I would get an attack maybe once a year, but had a few within the last year due to high job stress. In hindsight, I sure wish I had connected the dots with how adversely my body reacted to Xanax!

 

The first indicator was about two weeks into taking it, my wife left the house for an event on a Saturday and I was by myself. Normally, I’ve had zero problems my ENTIRE life with being alone—it usually meant I could spend time working on the house, car, etc. But that day I completely started freaking out with the thought of being by myself and started shaking uncontrollably! I just thought at the time, my anxiety was just getting worse due to job stress.

 

I finally realized maybe the Xanax was not such a good idea after sometimes waking up shaking/anxious after taking it the night before. This came to a head soon after when I had an intense panic attack just a few hours after taking one! It was at that time I decided to switch over to Ativan since I was more familiar with it.

 

The strange thing is I still remember the moment I took that first Ativan after the Xanax, I almost felt a sense of deep calm/buzz the instant I took the pill, like my body was so relieved that that type of benzo was in my system, instead of the Xanax. 

 

At any rate, over the next month I started to rely on it more and more. Keep in mind, I only took small doses, usually .25 to .5 was enough at bedtime (few times a week.) But eventually, I would take a small dose here and there during the day, when I would start to feel my weird creepy anxious feeling. All the while I thought it was due to the job that I wasn’t happy with/ stressed over.

 

Well, the job finally ended at the end of May and decided to quit the benzos. I also started seeing a therapist and starting working on coping skills, mindfulness, biofeedback, etc. Because I was taking such a small dose, I c/t’d.  Well, about a week into it I was at my therapist appt shaking uncontrollably, crying, a proper mess! He told me I was going through withdrawal, even though he was surprised due to the small amount I was taking. Fast forward to 3+ months later being off of everything, I’m still not 100%, but slowly improving!  I’m still stuck with morning anxiety and an occasional overall feeling of anxiety, creepiness. I don’t exactly how to describe it. Its almost like I get into a pattern of waking up completely “weirded out” by my dreams (even if they’re mundane) and almost getting flashbacks of the dreams throughout the day that lead to small surges of adrenaline/ anxiety/ panic that pass quickly.  Its also worth noting the times I’ve had panic attacks in my life, they’re kind of the same thing where I don’t exactly feel like I’m dying like I gather most people feel, but more so like I’m just losing my mind because it feels like my entire brain switches on and I’m flooded with nonsense, dream flashbacks, nausea, dizziness, etc. Good times!

 

Thanks for listening!

 

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Hi Sirdrawsalot,

 

I'm glad that you have decided to join the conversation after watching from a far.  Glad also, that benzobuddies has helped you in some way so far.

 

A lot of what you describe experiencing sounds like it could be withdrawal symtpoms.  Have you read the Ashton Manual? It details many, but not all, things that people can experience from having taken benzodiazepines. Here is the link: http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/ .  It might be some help to have some of the symptoms explained.

 

You may have noticed the members here have signatures, like mine below this post, that list medication history. Please take a moment to create one for yourself that way when you ask questions members can refer to your history and respond accordingly.  Create a Signature

 

Take care, look all around, please ask any questions when you have them.

 

hbam

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Hello  sirdrawsalot :hug:

 

Welcome from me also,  sorry you have had a rough time, it doesn't take long for the body to become dependant on benzos, i am so glad you decided to join us here, feel free to check out the forum, here is a link to our Cold Turkey Detox & Rapid Withdrawal Board board you might like to post a question here, withdrawal is temporary and will go eventually but it will take time, you'll find a great community of people who are here to support and encourage you.

 

You might also like to check out the Anxiety Board I am sure you will find some useful information here

 

If you wish to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) this link will show you how Click Here

 

Please let us know If you have any questions.

 

Welcome Aboard

 

Magrita

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
I’m still stuck with morning anxiety and an occasional overall feeling of anxiety, creepiness. I don’t exactly how to describe it. Its almost like I get into a pattern of waking up completely “weirded out” by my dreams

 

This is exactly what I'm left with too. Also I have terrible depression and moodiness that come with strange/scary thoughts and memories. I guess what is surprising is that it can affect us so long after taking for such a short time. I'm ready to just be normal again. Hope you are feeling on the upswing. :)

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  • 8 years later...

I'm in the same boat after taking temazapam and lorazepam for 3 months off and on for insomnia due to tinnitus. I started with 15mg and 1mg prescriptions, but started splitting the pills and taking tiny doses to get back to sleep after waking mid-sleep. After reading about the addictive nature of this class of drugs I quit cold turkey and decided to try newer non-habit forming sleep meds Rozerem and Belsomra. These had no effect on my insomnia, but looking back on it, it was probably because I was already in PAWS from the benzos.

 

Anyway, I'm a month out from quitting and apart some strange side effects like a thumb tremor and vision changes in one eye at night, my main issue is waking anxiety symptoms. Every day, no matter how much or how little sleep I get, I awaken to a jolt in my mind, like a hypnic jerk. Then I feel butterflies in the stomach and my pulse increases. In order to prevent a panic attack, I have to turn on the TV, music, or eat some food and distract myself. I cannot go back to sleep after that and just have to go about my day even if it starts at 3:00am.

 

I feel like I'm in the movie Groundhog Day. Hoping I won't just remain a nervous wreck.

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