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Jillie
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« on: September 21, 2007, 09:49:37 PM » |
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Hi,
My name is Jillie, and I'm new to this site and could really use your suggestions and support.
As I think I've written in either my introduction or my signature, I was kept on Klonopin for 12 years. I took my medication/poison exactly as prescribed, and at one point, was taking as much as 4mg after one genius of a doctor insisted I double my dose.
Anyway, In March of 2006, I started noticing that my eyes were swelling (they still are, and I'll need surgery to correct damage), I was losing hair, my skin was burning, etc. I spent a year trying to figure out the cause, and finally figured out that Klonopin was to blame.
I also came to realize that I had been experiencing tolerance withdrawal for years and years. (I took my medication on a daily basis, as instructed.)
I demanded to be taken off Klonopin, and was instructed to stop cold turkey, once in August of 2006 (I reinstated), once in February of 2007 (I went nuts, but instead of reinstating at 3mg, only went back on 2mg), and finally, in April of 2007.
This was what I was told to do.
After the April c/t, I went nuts, and 9 days later, my doctor was finally convinced by me to try the Ashton method, and placed me on 40mg Valium. This was mid-April.
Since this time, I've had no relief. At first, I cut by 2mg a week, but after ending up in the hospital for a week in July due to diarrhea/dehydration, I started making 1mg cuts.
I'm now down to 18mg Valium, and suffering greatly. I'm so nauseous that I can't move or turn my head. I have every mental and physical symptom you can imagine, and am wondering if the 1mg cuts are too large.
Also, as I just posted in my blog, I'm feeling very wired and notice a huge increase in my morning panic/anxiety/nausea. (I have constant flu-like nausea, but also morning anxiety-related nausea.) I feel as though I've been injected with stimulants.
I'm trying to cut by 1mg for as long as I can, but am considering tapering by .5mg. I'd be very grateful for any suggestions you may have for me, and I thank you for your time.
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Logged
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I was kept on Klonopin daily for 12 years
In April, after my third cold-turkey attempt from 2mg, I went crazy, and was placed on the equivalent of Valium (40mg) 9 days later
I'm now down to 15 mg of Valium
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Colin
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« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2007, 12:01:41 AM » |
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Hi Jillie,
I've replied to your PM.
It sounds as though you are tapering too quickly for you. We usually recommend that people only make a new cut once they feel reasonably recovered from their previous cut. 1mg cuts from a dose of 18mg can be tolerated by most people, but not all. Changing the cuts to 0.5mg will do no harm and may help. More frequent smaller cuts are better tolerated than less frequent larger cuts. First though, in your shoes, I'd stabilise my dose for a few weeks until I felt better. We can then discuss what might be a sensible taper plan. If it turns out that you cannot tolerate even very small cuts, you then could consider using titration to make minuscule daily (or near daily) cuts to your dose. This has helped a number of people who have hit a wall with their withdrawal. First thing's first though: stabilise your dose until you feel some improvement.
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4.5mg of Clonazepam for 4 years + 6 month direct taper. Benzo free since 31st Jan 2003. About me and my role on the BenzoBuddies Team. |
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Jillie
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« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2007, 12:36:48 AM » |
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Hi Jillie,
I've replied to your PM.
It sounds as though you are tapering too quickly for you. We usually recommend that people only make a new cut once they feel reasonably recovered from their previous cut. 1mg cuts from a dose of 18mg can be tolerated by most people, but not all. Changing the cuts to 0.5mg will do no harm and may help. More frequent smaller cuts are better tolerated than less frequent larger cuts. First though, in your shoes, I'd stabilise my dose for a few weeks until I felt better. We can then discuss what might be a sensible taper plan. If it turns out that you cannot tolerate even very small cuts, you then could consider using titration to make minuscule daily (or near daily) cuts to your dose. This has helped a number of people who have hit a wall with their withdrawal. First thing's first though: stabilise your dose until you feel some improvement.
Hi Colin, Thank you so much for replying to my PM, to which I've just replied again. I don't want to wait longer than 2 weeks (which will be next Friday) before making another cut, so I'll hopefully feel an improvement before then. I've long thought that weekly .5 cuts would be less of a shock to my system (which is VERY sensitive) than 1mg cuts every 10 days. By "more frequent", did you mean weekly? Thanks so much, Jillie |
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Logged
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I was kept on Klonopin daily for 12 years
In April, after my third cold-turkey attempt from 2mg, I went crazy, and was placed on the equivalent of Valium (40mg) 9 days later
I'm now down to 15 mg of Valium
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Colin
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« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2007, 12:42:30 AM » |
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Hi Jillie,
If you have been cutting too quickly for some time, it will take some time for you body to addapt. In your shoes I'd take a more open approach, and starting cutting again when things have settled to level that is more manageable, even if it takes longer than two weeks. The chances are, from what you have written, that you will need more time to stabilise. Giving yourself some time now might mean that you proceed more quickly (and more smoothly) later.
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4.5mg of Clonazepam for 4 years + 6 month direct taper. Benzo free since 31st Jan 2003. About me and my role on the BenzoBuddies Team. |
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Jillie
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« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2007, 01:00:46 AM » |
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Hi Jillie,
If you have been cutting too quickly for some time, it will take some time for you body to addapt. In your shoes I'd take a more open approach, and starting cutting again when things have settled to level that is more manageable, even if it takes longer than two weeks. The chances are, from what you have written, that you will need more time to stabilise. Giving yourself some time now might mean that you proceed more quickly (and more smoothly) later.
Hi Colin, Thanks for your reply. I'm sure I'll feel an improvement by next Friday, but do hope you can understand that I need to do what's comfortable for me, and I'm simply not comfortable waiting longer than 2 weeks between cuts. I'm feeling guilty and don't mean to be difficult, but I develop tolerance if I wait longer than 2 weeks. I'm already crying tears of happiness at the very thought of slowing things down (making .5 cuts). I feel a sense of hope about this, and am also interested in titration. Thank you so much for your time and help, Colin. I'm so thankful for your site. Best wishes, Jillie |
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Logged
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I was kept on Klonopin daily for 12 years
In April, after my third cold-turkey attempt from 2mg, I went crazy, and was placed on the equivalent of Valium (40mg) 9 days later
I'm now down to 15 mg of Valium
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Colin
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« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2007, 02:05:14 AM » |
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Hi Jillie, I don't mean that you should always leave two weeks or more between cuts, just you allow yourself enough time now to stabilise. Once you feel better you should be able to make regular cuts so long as they are small enough.  |
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4.5mg of Clonazepam for 4 years + 6 month direct taper. Benzo free since 31st Jan 2003. About me and my role on the BenzoBuddies Team. |
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Jillie
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« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2007, 02:10:41 AM » |
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Hi Jillie, I don't mean that you should always leave two weeks or more between cuts, just you allow yourself enough time now to stabilise. Once you feel better you should be able to make regular cuts so long as they are small enough. Hi Colin, We're on the same page.  I'm interpreting "stabilize" as reaching a point at which my symptoms have abated enough for me to feel well enough to make a cut. Is this correct? Thanks, Jillie (Who is excited by the very thought of .5 cuts)  |
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Logged
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I was kept on Klonopin daily for 12 years
In April, after my third cold-turkey attempt from 2mg, I went crazy, and was placed on the equivalent of Valium (40mg) 9 days later
I'm now down to 15 mg of Valium
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Colin
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« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2007, 02:17:44 AM » |
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Hi, I think so!?  I just mean that if you have been racing ahead of what you can manage for some time, it will take some extra time now to stabilise. Once you are feel better, you can begin to make regular cuts again. You would probably need to make smaller cuts though. It's just about allowing your system time to recover from the past overoptimistic taper rate, that's all. |
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4.5mg of Clonazepam for 4 years + 6 month direct taper. Benzo free since 31st Jan 2003. About me and my role on the BenzoBuddies Team. |
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Jillie
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« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2007, 02:42:01 AM » |
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Hi, I think so!? I just mean that if you have been racing ahead of what you can manage for some time, it will take some extra time now to stabilise. Once you are feel better, you can begin to make regular cuts again. You would probably need to make smaller cuts though. It's just about allowing your system time to recover from the past overoptimistic taper rate, that's all. Thanks, Colin. I understand. I've also decided that when I do make cuts again, they will be .5mg cuts, as opposed to 1mg cuts. I'm tiny, I'm sick, my body is sensitive to everything, yet I've been trying to taper at a world record pace because I want this to be over with so badly. In less than 6 months, I've tapered from 40mg to 18mg! Every cut has been difficult for me, even when I was feeling "well" (it's all relative in withdrawal) prior to cutting down. I'm being unrealistic, and I have to face that. It may take longer for me to taper, but I will hopefully be saner and better able to cope with the mental and physical symptoms. Much thanks, Jillie |
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Logged
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I was kept on Klonopin daily for 12 years
In April, after my third cold-turkey attempt from 2mg, I went crazy, and was placed on the equivalent of Valium (40mg) 9 days later
I'm now down to 15 mg of Valium
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bobersak2
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« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2007, 06:05:50 PM » |
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Hi
Thats kind of the mind set that most of us go through, The I cant stand the way I feel therefore the faster I'm off this stuff the sooner I wont feel bad. Unfortunately speeding through the taper increases the bad feelings which makes you want to get off faster, a vicious cycle.
A taper schedule isn't written in stone and how you feel should dictate your taper speed not some ethereal number.
It took me as long to go from 4mg-0Mg's as it did to go from 12.5-4Mg's. Please listen to your body.
TC
Bobers
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