A return to benzos

Hi Ivan,

Be aware that Remeron is more sedating in lower doses that high doses for some inexplicable reason. Your doctor probably knows this. I have a rash type reaction to it so can't take it, but the few doses I tried, were at half or a fourth of a 15 mg tablet.  They all caused a bit of restless leg in me.

Just like any drug it works well for some and not so well for others.

Good luck,

Flip

Hi Ivan

I take 30mg of Avanza at night and it really helps me.  It is sedating, and sedating in a pleasant way, not 'knock you out, feel like a zombie way', I joke to my hubby that it's my 'happy pill'.

I cannot take any SSRI's, can't tolerate the side effects, but I have found that as Avanza is a SNRI, I have tolerated it well with no side effects to speak of.

Dosage is imporant, as my Pdoc tells me at high doses it can have the reverse effect and make you anxious, so I'd go low if you want to try it. 

Staff x

I have taken Remeron (Avanza here in Australia before) but it was in conjunction with bucket loads of other drugs including benzos. I will certainly talk to the doctor about it the next time I see him next week.

Ivan

I have taken Remeron (Avanza here in Australia before) but it was in conjunction with bucket loads of other drugs including benzos. I will certainly talk to the doctor about it the next time I see him next week.

 

Ivan

Yeah another Aussie on the forum... Horlicks and honey is also very good Ivan.  It contains hops, well known to enhance sleep.

Staff x

Hi Staffy Girl

You seem very confident as to when your taper will end. I am just starting mine but for the second time thanks to unfortuanate over reaching with travel. I am still trying to find a starting point. I keep stuffing up and taking it in the day for example in a moment when i was really down. My wife is now the keeper of the diazepam so that i don't do silly things like this again. But I do wish I could get it right. I suspect reluctantly I am going to have to start from 10mg.

I see you were prescribed Ativan. A psychiatrist suddenly raised the daso from 1mg to 2.5mg. I was really unimpressed given that I know that this drug is two times more potent than diazepam.

I am still keeping Avanza in mind but I don't see the doctor until next Tuesday.

Ivan

I believe Ativan is actually 10 times more potent than Diazepam.

Here is an equivalency chart (you can find it if you scroll down):

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha01.htm

Sincerely,

fg

Hi Fg

 

The sad thing is that I was benzo free for two years. it was travel across time zones whixh wrecked my sleep. I am foorced to take benzos as everything else I tried just failed. Someone has recommended Avanza (Remeron). I will certainly follow this up with the doctor. I just hate having to take benzos and as yet I haven't found a good starting point for a taper.

 

Ivan

I really hope things work out for you, Ivan.  I certainly understand the disappointment.  I had to go back on Klonopin after my 2nd rapid detox.  I am now using titration and holding when necessary. 

Wishing you well ....

Sincerely,

fg

Hi Staffy Girl

 

You seem very confident as to when your taper will end. I am just starting mine but for the second time thanks to unfortuanate over reaching with travel. I am still trying to find a starting point. I keep stuffing up and taking it in the day for example in a moment when i was really down. My wife is now the keeper of the diazepam so that i don't do silly things like this again. But I do wish I could get it right. I suspect reluctantly I am going to have to start from 10mg.

 

I see you were prescribed Ativan. A psychiatrist suddenly raised the daso from 1mg to 2.5mg. I was really unimpressed given that I know that this drug is two times more potent than diazepam.

 

I am still keeping Avanza in mind but I don't see the doctor until next Tuesday.

 

Ivan

Hi Ivan,

I am not that confident believe me, that's my half way mark on my 'ticker', I like to set small achievable goals, 'chunk them down' so to speak. 

I was first prescribed Ativan for sleep issues too;  I've tried heaps of things, but the two mainstays that work for me at present are the Avanza and Holosync, then Horlicks. 

Have you tried the Horlicks, I know people think 'yeah right' it's a supplement drink how could it help, but it really does.

I hope you find peace and sleep.  Give yourself a break Ivan, there is nothing worse than not being able to sleep, for me it is the single worst think that I simply cannot deal with.

Staff x

I agree with Staffy girl.  Not being able to sleep is one of the worst things I know of.  Our body requires it.  You did what you felt you needed to do at the time, so I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. 

Wishing you well ...

Sincerely,

fg

I updosed to 10mg last night. This was the agred starting point with my GP. I slept a few more hours which is important but of course it makes being benzo free that much further away. And I also know that I will have to pass back through those lowere doses in the future and may very well get little sleep again.

I am so panic stricken I cannot walk properly. Yesterday I saw apsychologist who advised me to try to get back into some of the activities I ws doing before my sleep disintegration and return to benzos. This will be an enormous challenge for me as fear and panic have become such strong features of my life especially after the horrrendous expereince of being in psychiatric hospitals where drugs are the centrepiece of all activities. And I was terrified of them and the psychiatrist who was prescribing them.

vanee

I updosed to 10mg last night. This was the agred starting point with my GP. I slept a few more hours which is important but of course it makes being benzo free that much further away. And I also know that I will have to pass back through those lowere doses in the future and may very well get little sleep again.

 

I am so panic stricken I cannot walk properly. Yesterday I saw apsychologist who advised me to try to get back into some of the activities I ws doing before my sleep disintegration and return to benzos. This will be an enormous challenge for me as fear and panic have become such strong features of my life especially after the horrrendous expereince of being in psychiatric hospitals where drugs are the centrepiece of all activities. And I was terrified of them and the psychiatrist who was prescribing them.

 

vanee

Ivan,

As I read your post, I felt your pain and I know first hand how you must be feeling about the hospital thing; I read your story provided in your signature and to say that you went to the gates of hell and back again is an understatement.  I too now hold an irrational fear of hospitals and Psychiatrists.  Please know you are not alone. 

Ivan, you have to sleep, it seems to me you are 'blaming' yourself and feeling guilty, you can't do that - we all need sleep, this is more than likely a temporary thing;  you won't go back to hospital and you are strong, you've survived much.

Easy as it is for me to say, please try not to panic and let that fear get a hold;  remember the beast will try to grab you at your weakest moments; 

Have you tried or thought about Holosync;  I swear by it, at first I too was skeptical about it reprogramming your mind at a subliminal level, but within 5 mins of putting on my CD at night I am out to it- a little expensive, but well worth investigating, plus you can pop your own affirmations on it - again they work at a subliminial level.

Enough of my rants.  I will pray you sleep tonight.

Staff x

Thanks very much.

No I have not tried Holysync. I will have a look at what is.

My two biggest problems at present are the burning sensations I feel especially on waking early in the morning. I get filled with des[air in the ertain knowledge that will last a long time as long as I am on this drug and even when I get off. Having been through all this before only adds to the sense of desperation one feels at the thought of it happening again.

My other test is to get out an d meet people a huge challenge when I fear panic attacks and my mood is very low.

Best wishes with your journey

Ivan

I have been reading through other posts on insomnia and I echo the opinion that one should never willingly allow oneself to get on benzodiazepines for sleep. Look what they did to me two whole years after I had stopped them. With a bit of stress and a journey through time zones my sleep was totally patternless and I am now having to take them again after trying almost everything else. But and I emphasise this I am tapering straight away now that I have escaped from hospital.

Anyone who mental issues need to be profoundly suspicious of psychiatrists. They are interested in managing a condition not curing it. So if someone needs sleep like I did give them a fairly high dose of benzos and they'll sleep. Then down the track you get problems like the ones I have confronted. I have been left to grapple with finding a starting point after high doses from a psychiatrist who could have given me much less. And I don't know if at the end of it I am going to get my sleep back this time. I am feeling somewhat reassured that my GP who strongly agrees with my appproach and a psycholgist thave taken over my situation after I thankfully got out of a psychiatric hospital. They are both optimistic that I can get mty sleep back. And what a difference; I have gone from a total nervous wreck in hospital who was constatly terified to someone who can focus on things and even drove a car today.

But I do wish I could sleep more than 4 hours and I could get proper sleep. But no one will get that with benzos anyway.

For those thinking of starting them: don't be deluded by how they work for the first few weeks. It is so easy then to fall into the trap of taking them like I did for a very long time.

I am down to 7.5mg and am stabilising on this for a week. Then hopefully given the fact that I am in this strange situation I am hoping to make a fairly sustantial cut next week. But only time will tell.

Enough of the rant.

Ivan

Hi Ivan

Thank goodness you are feeling calmer now;  I bet you sleep will now be more settled too.  Agree with all sentiments in your post.

Thing is though we need sleep.

Staff x

Sadly today I am going to the doctors to ask for a prescription for Valium. I have no choice as my insomnia caused by jetlag has become virtually impossible to deal with. I have ben assured that a month on 5mg by an expert from Reconnexion should not do me major harm. I am just praying that it does bring me a sleep pattern I yearn for. The insomnia is nullifying everything in my life. I cannot go anywhre and have lost total focus so there is a desperate need to take a risk on this possible circuit breakker. I am expecting to be in pain and to have to withdraw all over agin but i do not see what alternative I have.

 

Regards

 

Ivan

I know exactly how you feel Ivan.  I have been off benzos now for just six weeks.  The slow withdrawal itself did not seem to present too much of a problem at the time but since being off everything I have been having terrible sleep problems, night rages (I call them) whereby my body is seemingly "on fire"  with raging pulsations and terror!!  Its very frightening.  Panic attacks surfaced too but I am working hard with breathing exercises etc.  I got to the stage yesterday when I returned to my GP as I felt I couldn't stand it any longer - he gave me a reinstatement prescription for the Diazepam although very reluctantly.  I then started to think of all I had gone through to get off these tablets altogether (bearing in mind I have a 50 year history of them) and decided I could not take them.  I have to admit fear was one reason and I realised I didn't want to give in to it.  I really hope you may be able to push through one day at a time Ivan.  Today I am feeling a little better and this is encouraging for me. 

This board has been invaluable for me.  It keeps me on track reading what everyone else is going through and what some have achieved after withdrawing and now have wonderful drug free lives.  This is what I want more than anything else for myself.  I have a long way to go but it can only be one day at a time for now - I WILL GET THERE THOUGH 

PS  I have just read your latest post and I realise you have jet lag problems etc  I hope all goes well for you after you have re-estalished your sleep patten.  Good luck with it 

Hi SusieJ

I only resorted to benzos again in absolute desperation. If you are getting some sleep and were getting some at the end of your taper then the signs are good. I had hardly any when I finished the first time but just believed it would come back and all the horrible sensations would dissipate which they eventually did. But now I know that one has to be careful once these drugs have been in your system. I never imagined I'd have to take them again in such bizarre circumstances. Hopefully I will recover and i will be able to travel again but I am going to organise things so much more thoughtfully to avoid stress and to eliminate as much as possible big time zone changes. But that is all for the future. Now it is about survival.

Best wishes

Ivan

Hi SusieJ

 

I only resorted to benzos again in absolute desperation. If you are getting some sleep and were getting some at the end of your taper then the signs are good. I had hardly any when I finished the first time but just believed it would come back and all the horrible sensations would dissipate which they eventually did. But now I know that one has to be careful once these drugs have been in your system. I never imagined I'd have to take them again in such bizarre circumstances. Hopefully I will recover and i will be able to travel again but I am going to organise things so much more thoughtfully to avoid stress and to eliminate as much as possible big time zone changes. But that is all for the future. Now it is about survival.

 

Best wishes

 

Ivan

I am really sorry you are going through this Ivan.  I had a terrible night last night with the burning sensations all over my body and no sleep.  I had no idea when I finally finished my taper that I would have such symptoms flare up - this is why I am so grateful for this site as everyone here is so knowledgeable and know what it is really like because they have experienced it for themselves.  No one who has not taken these drugs can have any idea whatsoever of what we are going through.

I really wish you peace and calm 

Hi Susie

Just hang in there. I have burning sensations all the time now and my body and soul feel miserable. The first time I went through all of this too for some time after the taper ended. That is why I feel so daunted and disappointed. I drove my car again today and attended a class so that means I can at least engage with others in the world no matter how awful I feel. Best wishes

Ivan

Hi All

What a difference a couple of months and life's stress does to us.  Yip, I have almost completed going through a quick termination/divorce of a 30year marriage to a man who for 6years has unbeknown to me having an affair with another woman who lives "on the other side of the equator"The knowledge of his pseudolife almost destroyed me - and YES I too Have RETURNED TO BENZOS - the stress, INSOMNIA and pain just took its toll.  I am back to the dose was on in December 2011.

We, are all - only human after all. - I am going to start tapering again.......

Take Care

Meeeee

Hey,

Do you live in a place where medical marijuana is an option? I feel like I wouldn't be here today had I done that. I think it's not something that helps you stay asleep but rather get to sleep.

I just felt like I had to mention this.

Ho goto

No I don't. Victoria in Australia is a realtively conservative place. So I am looking at tapering extremely slowly in the hope that a normal form of sleep will eventually replace the amazing disorder which forced me back on these drugs.

Ivan

Hi,

I have used xanax for insomnia for years. I am currently experiencing it. I have tried this great hypnosis video on you tube and it does work and I was on 10 mg of xanax a day. Nothing works for me. Please try it and see if it helps you sleep - It has put everyone to sleep that has tried it! Good Luck!

Hi happynow

Do you have a link?

Yesterday I reduced my dosage from 7.5 to 6.5 with no sleep. I am doing this because this is not really a taper rather a continued imposition of valium onto an already damaged system. Sadly I got no sleep last night. I feel extremely daunted and am heading towards panic attacks again. I need to hold myself together to stay away from psychiatric institutions which would deny me any chance of getting better. Life is extremely hard at present. The last thing in life i was ever expecting was to have to taper from benzos twice. It is so horrendous and people just have no idea how hard it is.

Ivan

Sorry you are still suffering Ivan.  Have you tried the Horlicks?  I also really believe in the Holosync program.  I know others have had great success with sleep restriction.

Praying you get some zzzzz's soon.

Staff