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Dear Friends,

  It has been some time since I've communicated. With a cardiac problem to deal with, this has put a temporary kink in my taper. I still laugh when I think of Janas remark about being on astronomical doses. The process has been tough and slow, being coordinated with my cardiologist. No I didnt take any legal action against the idiot doctor that addicted me to 3 different benzos. Forgive and let live. I would feel great if I could rejoin the community...this could take awhile. By the way, I like the new style.    BB Steve

 

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  Thanks for the warm welcome! I dont plan on getting too intellectual about this, just wanted to mention that the MD who is supervising my withdrawl says in a year or 2 I will feel better than I can remember.

 

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[9c...]

Hi,

 

It's so good to hear from Astronomical Steve again.  ;) It's also good to hear that you found a doctor who has a clue.  :)

 

Before the end of my taper, I thought that I'd feel better as in not having those symptoms anymore. I didn't know about the rest of it. I had forgotten how it feels to be a normal person. The world always as there, but I finally could see it.

 

How's your world looking, Steve?

Jana

 

 

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Hi Jana!

 

  My world is looking promising as I prepare to be checked out by my cardiologist to see how Im responding to a 10mg cut in Valium. My condition isnt life threatening but has to be monitored closely during my withdrawl. Am I scared?  Yes and no. I am scared of not having my trusty benzos to gulp down on a daily basis, and of future withdrawl symptoms, but have every assurance that the process will not kill me. If it keeps going well, I could be close to my benzo free goal in about 8 months as long as heart condition and blood pressure permits. But this MD happens to be a neurosurgeon and said in no un certain terms, "Steve, I'm going to save your life". And improve the quality of it too!!! Thanks for your kindness and understanding.  Astronomical Steve

 

PS She has treated victims of this same overprescribing maniac before. I will soon update my signature line. You are all WONDERFUL!

 

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    Cardiogogy exam OK. I am cutting at the equivalent of 10mg valium every 2 weeks until I get into the lower doses. So far so good.  BB Steve

 

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I had forgotten how it feels to be a normal person. The world always as there, but I finally could see it.

 

I felt this way too, Jana. I used to worry that I would never feel normal again, because I had lost all recollection of what that was even like. I couldn't remember what days were like that weren't consumed with all the anxiety and physical symptoms.

 

I dont plan on getting too intellectual about this, just wanted to mention that the MD who is supervising my withdrawl says in a year or 2 I will feel better than I can remember.

 

:thumbsup:  Fantastic, Steve!  ...and good news about your cardio exam!  ;D

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Hi Steve,

    Good for you! I too wonder what the days are like when not on benzos.

Keep up the good work Steve.

CC

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[9c...]

Hey Steve,

That's one good doctor. She has a point, but it's really Steve who is saving Steve's life. The doctor offers the means, but you're really doing it.  ;)

Jana

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As always, Thanks    This is not easy  I have significant withdrawl symptoms and pray for the strength to hold on and see this through. Couldnt do it without you.

 

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Fatigue  sweats  shakiness blurred vision  nausea  will this nightmare have closure???  I am scared....

 

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  Well, I am ready to take the plunge with MD approval and get off the valium entirely. :idiot: I hope this isnt too much of a living hell to endure. Am darn determined tho.  Steve

 

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Dear Jana,

  Yes, you read it right. Dr says with my total benzo dosage being what it is I should still be able to manage the cut. We will see....

 

Steve

 

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[9c...]

Hi Steve,

From your signature is looks like you are on a Valium equivalent of 100.0mg. Using the 10% guideline would give you a 10.0mg cut as okay.

 

I don't like using that guide line all alone.

 

However you are having increased symptoms so something is not right. There also is the Ashton custom of cutting only 0.25 to 0.5mg at a time. Adhering to a single preconceived  guideline alone doesn't seem to be a sound basis for such a large absolute cut.

 

You might get the :" It would take forever to do that" talk, but is that the issue? Smaller cuts made more often can result in even less taper time. My own taper and then titration were  examples of that.

 

I won't be changing anyone's mind with this idea. I still think it I should mention it. You seem to be suffering more than is necessary.

Jana

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Dear Jana,

 

  Yes it is suffering but as you pointed out my total benzo dosage still allows one final 10 mg cut. After this it will be done on a 5 mg cut basis, with cuts made as symptoms allow. The only real suffering are the muscle contractions which are painful.

 

  As far as getting rid of the other 2 poisons, I will be given an Rx for .25 mg xanax for exact dosing and 0.5mg klonopin for same reason. I am determined to see this thru, knowing that the balance of benzos will take some time to eliminate.

 

  Even with withdrawl, I can see a marked improvement internally as I no longer add something to my system that it does not need. Or want. I dont regret having cut by 10 mg valium, its just that it may be a while before my next dose cut. Thanks for being there!!!

 

Not so Astronomical Steve

;)

 

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[9c...]

Hi Steve,

To me, the question was always: Does the body repair to cover a certain number of lost benzo mgs per day or does it sense and repair by percentages? Does its capacity increase when the percent of demand is greater, or does it have a basic repair ability that is unchanged by demand?

 

I found the number of mgs to be much more reliable than a percentage. Sometimes I tapered at more than 10% and at the end less than 10%. The number of mgs was the key and not the percentage in my own particular experience.

 

Right now I see using both criteria as usefull. I look at the number of mgs first and then check that against a percent.

 

I don't expect this to change anyone's mind. I just offer it as the assumption that I used successfully in my case.

Jana

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Dear Friends,

 

    It has been awhile since my last entry, because I have been enduring a very rough time with complete discontinuation of valium. I am far enough in the process now that there is no turning back...I certainly wouldnt want to have to come off of 80 or 90 mg of valium by making a substitution switch. This is one tough drug to get off of.

 

    I've gone thru every symptom in the book, but think I am past the peak now so I take this opportunity to post.

I am finally valium free!!! Needless to say it will be awhile before I tackle my next cut, likely xanax at 0.5mg cuts until I am down to 2 mg, then 0.25 mg cuts until 0.5 mg, then 0.125 mg cuts to finish. I am saving the klonopin for

last.

 

    No matter how long this takes, I am feeling benefits already. From here on, a slow, sensible direct taper makes the most sense. Hope to hear from you.      Steve

:P

 

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  • 1 month later...

Steve,

 

You are very wise to take a philosophical attitude. For a while there, I felt like strangling the quack who put me on detox herbs to cleanse my colon, knowing full well that I have Graves' disease and IBS which make people go to the john more often, and who thereby forced me to increase my Valium, but what's the point of remaining angry? It only makes the withdrawal symptoms worse. I'm dealing with an occasional cardiac problem, too, which is related to my thyroid condition. Lately, it hasn't acted up, but if I have another "episode", I'll need to see a cardiologist, too. Getting off 37 mg of Valium won't be easy -- but I have no choice. The drug makes me nauseated and very depressed.

 

Genie

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