I am going to cold turkey instead and have already started

Seeing you offline now...will check back.  Take care.  Thoughts are with you... 

Thanks Faulk. I wanted to see what would happen. That's all. Well, the anxiety really ramped up in a very horrible, physical way at the 42nd hour. It felt like a burning, searing pain in my chest that wouldn't go away, rapid heartbeat, along with severe nausea, burning skin worse than I've ever had, baaaad dp/dr and feelings of unreality, heavy shaking, and some vertigo/feeling of falling. I knew it was just medically induced, but after about a half hour of that, trying to lay down, trying to breath through it, I took a small dose of medication and the feelings did go away, although not completely.

 

So I'm going to continue as fast as I can since the taper was causing me a lot of trouble too, but I have to figure out how to balance too fast and too slow. I'm going at this a little blind right now. I do feel like I'm making progress still, although I feel unwell and may choose to reinstate and taper again if it isn't tolerable.

 

I am glad that I'm in control of this. The idea of doing this in a rehab is  horrific. 

 

I am okay, but I'm a little unclear about how to proceed. Clearly an absolute cold turkey won't be in order. However, a rapid taper still might. I am not going to do anything that I can't tolerate. Actually, the cold turkey was good in one sense: this morning, I felt better than usual, and I think that's somewhere like what I can hope to feel like again in the future.

Hi Blue,

 

I'm sorry you were hit so hard. I know you were hoping this would be the answer for you. 

 

It's so difficult in a case like this to know how slow or rapidly you need to go. You can't really listen to your body because it seems it's always screaming at you.

 

I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you. All I can offer you is my support and empathy. You may have all that you need of both. 

 

Hope

Hi Blue,

 

I'm sorry you were hit so hard. I know you were hoping this would be the answer for you. 

 

It's so difficult in a case like this to know how slow or rapidly you need to go. You can't really listen to your body because it seems it's always screaming at you.

 

I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you. All I can offer you is my support and empathy. You may have all that you need of both. 

 

Hope

 

Thanks Hope! Right now, I feel fine, although it took a while after taking the temporary updose. I will figure it out AND I promise to detail it so that others might get help from this in the future. It's a learning experience.

 

I don't regret having tried and feel glad to have. I'm definitely feeling somewhat at war with my brain and body right now. But I will get it figured out and, one way or another, I'm getting off of the medication successfully.

 

I am grateful for this forum because it did prepare me a lot for some of what I felt and will probably feel again. I also would have thrown in the towel otherwise by now. But I feel like the moral support here from others who have gone through this stuff (in various forms) has been so helpful. I cannot begin to state this strongly enough.

 

I love you dearly for all that you do.

I often think this whole thing is the hardest on the smartest.

 

M.

I often think this whole thing is the hardest on the smartest.

 

M.

 

I think there's some truth to that, strangely. Neurosis is also often found in intelligent people. So is a general desire for things that make sense, are orderly and controllable, etc.

 

This gives me such a big urge to start a new, chewing the fat thread on the myer's briggs test, which I will!

Careful of the dramamine, bonine or any of those motion sickness meds, Blue.  While they might help sleep in the short term, if taken as a consistent substitute for sleep, there can be an ototoxic impact such as nausea and vertigo.  I took bonine and valium before my c/t back in 2008 and landed in the ER with vertigo.  Might not happen to you, but just wanted to post this for you and any others who might read this.  In my case, the vertigo came about three weeks after my c/t off the valium and it was 4 weeks after I had taken one week of bonine on a cruise.  I had only been on the valium for three weeks. I think both the valium and bonine (similar to dramamine) impacted my balance and inner ear.  This was later confirmed by an otoneurologist.  I chose to reinstate the valium and a few months later did a slow taper of about 10 months off 6mg valium.  I won't be posting back here, just happened to read some of this thread while I was cleaning out my mailbox, as I'm not active on forum anymore.

 

Good luck,

 

Vertigo

I take them for motion sickness on boats and planes normally. Usually Bonine. The Dramamine helped me sleep last night although I woke up most of the night in fits, I slept quite a lot overall and wouldn't have otherwise.

 

I'm 56 hours in and not too sure what I'm doing. 18 hours ago, I took a small bit of Xanax out of necessity. Now, I've woken up on the edge of an acute c/t w/d feeling again: nausea, stomach cramping, the room is lurching, some vertigo, shaking like a leaf, skin is blistering feeling, thoughts are racing, heart is pounding, sweating, feels like there's a hole being burned through my chest, everything is way too bright and loud, thankfully though, I'm not anxious at the moment and am not having dp/dr.

 

I'm first going to see if a low dose beta-blocker helps at all and took 1/4 of a Nadolol pill a few minutes ago.

 

In 20 mins, if that doesn't help, I'm going to see if Dramamine will cut the edge off.

 

If it doesn't, I'll reluctantly take another small bit of Xanax. I don't know how much. I'm concerned about setting my progress back. Any ideas here?

Okay, the beta blocker absolutely helped with my rapid heart beat and nausea. I feel very mentally heightened but can cope with that. This was a good idea for now.