The Klonopin Klub

Laelani:  My children are grown and gone and through some of the worst of my sx, I was alone.  The only bad part of that was not being able to get out for medical or grocery  needs.  I could not imagine being around anyone or letting anyone see me like that... but as I communicated w/ people on BB it became clear to me that the people who were doing the best w/ this were the people who stayed involved w/ their job, world, children.  I don't know how they do it but taking myself out of the equation was possibly a mistake.  I retired so I could do this.  Once I allowed myself the luxury of not interacting, it was too easy to just fall into almost complete isolation.  A persistent friend and my daughter did their best to meet my needs and encourage me to get back into the scheme of things.  i have no experience w/ Ativan so I don't know what kind of a state its left you in... you seem quite anxious and sceptical... you will likely live eat and breathe anxiety for a while but you can't be skeptical... you need to decide how you are going to do this and then just keep doing it because you won't be able to count on your own reasonable mind... it can get very bizarre and its true... its very difficult for family and friends to understand.  Its just to much for them.... I know, how do they think we do it but we have to do it and that's pretty much it.  We need so much help for so long... its like we're brain damaged but no physical trauma.  You really need to be stable when you start this because its a long way home to you were... but let me say again... we will get there.  I was on K for 10 years.... I've had 3 failed tapers... didn't know what I was doing and had no one to guide me... when the good Lord saw fit to send some help my way... things started moving forward... long slow osteady.  I've been on this taper since Dec of last year.  I have another 9 - 12 months before I'm done tapering...another 2-12 months finalizing the healing process.  You are likellyy going to need the help and support of others to continue caring for your children.  As longs as this is, I know they will be glad to get their mom back

Hiya, folks. Just a note to say hello as I approach Month 14 After Jumping. For anyone who's interested, my blog "I have crossed the Rubicon, let the bridge be burned behind me" starts exactly a year ago Sunday, the day I made it through my first 60 days. Every single month up to a year was documented in a separate entry - discoveries, w/d effects, joys, etc. I also started in the Klonopin Klub exactly a year ago which I believe makes me, except for Klonopinned, the longest running KK member. Which means I know ALL! mwah hah hah  lol

 

Hey Adam. Just wanted to write to you for a sec. You've mentioned MJ a couple of times, and in my w/d history I also used it a bit and it definitely helped - but I was careful not to start depending on it. I know it's not really physically addicting, but psychologically - yeah. As far as overmedicating at night, I've been through that too. After jumping, at one point I was on Trazodone, Flexeril, Benedryl and Ambien - all of that for sleep. Needless to say, I woke up crazy-woozy. I did a fast taper off the meds except for Trazodone (one by one, over about 2-3 months) and replaced them with Zzzquil for sleep. I just dropped Zzzquil about 2 weeks ago. Still on some Traz, which I'm starting to taper very slowly. But now the only time I'm tired is when I actually get no sleep, go figure 

 

Thanks all of you for your thoughts on my mother. I have often felt insane throughout my life because of her. Dad gets shot down when he tries to defend me. So I'm wondering if depression/anxiety was nature or nurture. Anyway, a question for a therapist when I someday can afford health insurance.

 

Work is panning out well - Rek, thanks for asking. To update newbies, I was in Sales for 12 years and lost 2 jobs this year due to a growing resentment of my career. I'm going back into teaching that I left in 2001, which is what my degree is in. This time I wanted only part-time/tutoring, and so I've been hired by 4 different schools for their afternoon programs, and waiting on a 5th. The pay is great, averages over $50/hour. So in September I'm pretty set. I've never taught off Klonopin!! This should be strange and weird, hopefully wonderful. I'm working for two award-winning schools, and one of the principals is a camp friend from 30 years ago. So...here we go.

 

I'm currently enjoying being unemployed, this time without shame - soooooooo many women in my town are these stay-at-home wives who spend their time at the yoga studio or "lunching with the ladies" or getting massages. Definitely not me, but I like to pretend sometimes. I've actually bumped up my own yoga practice to a class a bit more advanced and trying to get there 4 times a week, up from 3. Last year at this time, I was trying to meditate out my twitching, vertigo and pain. This year I'm getting into better shape than I ever expected at 43.

 

About tapering - I didn't have a taper. I jumped from 2mg to nothing in 5 days, so dangerous, but under a doctor's care, go figure. BOY was I incapacitated for a while!! Anyway, for those of you tapering, all the power to you!! Mogeii and Dein, thinking of you recent jumpers with utmost happiness at your achievements!! Always wonderful and comforting to see you here, Rek and Njoy.

 

Everyone find a window with sunlight today!!

Laelani I can relate to much of what you write. I know how it feels to feel that you are letting your children down. But you arent. Here is what you are teaching them:

1) it is ok to make mistakes

2) when you make a mistake your family will help you fix it

3) sometimes life is a struggle but you persevere

 

As for the seeming impossibility of getting off the drugs- it would be impossible if it felt like you do right now the whole time. You are in a tough place right now, but you will get out of it. There will be bad days and worse days and good days and better days and some days that are so normal that you cant remember them. You have to give it time. Once you find the plan that works for you it will get easier. I do think it is a good idea to not change meds rapidly, so you could decide you will give it a month with no changes and then see where you are. Or two weeks if a month feels too long. During that time you can think about what your doctor has to say, read the ashton manual, ask questions here and come up with a plan. It takes time, but it will get better.

 

jaxnj emotionally abusive mothers... I could write a book but instead I will just say that you are not alone and it is not your fault. The day I realized I could never make mine happy was the day I forgave myself for a lot of things.

 

JKS

Going to try to address as many people as possible, but I didn't check in yesterday and now I'm kinda lost. 

 

Njoy - you said that 10% of 0.009 is a bigger chunk than 10% of 0.5.  Not sure if that's a typo, but 10% is 10%.  Proportionally, it's exactly the same.  By volume, it's a much bigger chunk from 0.5mg.  So I wouldn't worry about being at a lower dose.  Sxs change as different parts of our brain heal, but I don't think your sxs should get any worse if you continue to cut at 10%.    Although I do think you can reach a dose so low your body hardly recognizes it as being there, in which case, you won't even notice a difference when you jump.  That's what I've heard from a friend, anyway.

 

Laelani - I've never heard of anyone reaching their baseline previous to withdrawal once they're already in withdrawal.  We wait to "stabilize" so that we're comfortable to make the next cut, and that's a different threshold for everyone.  And you can definitely stabilize, but you're probably not going to feel as well as you did pre-withdrawal.  I started cutting before I stabilized, but I started out by microtapering.  It's possible to stabilize even when you're making cuts.  This had the added advantage of reassurance that I was getting off the drug.

 

I've taken Neurontin and Inderal.  Neurontin had the opposite effect of being calming for me.  I absolutely could not sleep or go into a meditative state.  It was very strange.  Inderal worked very well in helping me cross over from Xanax to K, but then I experienced withdrawal sxs from Inderal on top of the K withdrawal.  VERY unpleasant.  I had to quit the Inderal because it was making my heart rate drop too low, even though I was on a child's dose of it.  Once I was through with Xanax withdrawal, I just didn't need it anymore and it became dangerous.  I have used it as a PRN throughout my withdrawal - if I had surges in heart rate at night that kept me from falling asleep.  This worked really well for me.  I'm still using Vistaril to help me fall asleep, which doesn't have the potential for dependence that most sleep aids have, and it helps with my allergies. 

 

I think it's very smart to get a second opinion.  I think starting drugs that have the potential for dependence while you're in withdrawal is a poor decision, but everyone is different and you need to do what you feel is right.  Having been through multiple withdrawals now (Effexor, Xanax, Inderal and now K), I will never put another p-drug in my body ever again.  Ever.  For any reason.

 

Thank you Jax and Rek.  It feels so good to be free.  :smitten:

 

I got some test results back Tuesday and learned that I had very low progesterone.  This has many sxs very similar to withdrawal - anxiety, mood swings, irritability, joint and body aches AND... horrific weight gain!!!  My sxs were probably worse because of withdrawal, but I went ahead and doubled my dose of progesterone on Tuesday night.  Now I have sxs of excess (low mood, drowsiness, somnolence), but now that I have normal levels of progesterone, it will just take some time for those receptors to adjust after being deficient for so long.

 

I don't notice any sxs of withdrawal now.  I think I'm done.

Deonincote, or anybody else on this thread,

 

So what you're saying is I will never feel good until I start cutting the k?

My pdoc did a complete switchover from ativan to klonopin about 4 weeks ago. It's been very difficult getting used to it. He also added remeron to the mix which has helped.

However I can't seem to feel normal whatsoever. You're saying I'll never feel as good as I did before I started my ativan taper because I opened Pandora's box? Is that why I feel so crappy? I still feel like I have withdrawal symptoms, burning back, sensitivity to sounds, depressed & anxious.

I know I can't get back to that good place again. I'm trying to gain weight & walk & get out of my room...but I am not the same. I feel pretty shitty! Does this mean I should start tapering? Like I said I see a new doc on Monday who uses the Ashton method. Don't think I'd want to switch meds again, but I know I can't wait 2 months to start tapering again. And I don't want to add a bunch of meds to the mix. Comments are appreciated as well as advice  on what to do. Please ASAP.

 

Thank you,

Laelani

Hi, dear folks -

 

Gasping with the heat here (Jax, and anyone else in the mid-Atlantic, I know you know just what I'm talking about    ), and not going to attempt much here, but wanted to send up a little glimmer of a signal, at least.

 

Just musing--I wonder how many people have ended up on awful drugs for reasons originating with unhappiness in the birth home--i.e. with parents.  A lot of the mothers I've heard about--particularly if they are roughly of my own mother's generation (born during the decade or two after WWI), strike me as women who were colossally frustrated by the limitations imposed on women in the era when they came of age, and who unfortunately took out their frustration and rage on their own daughters.  My own mother was somewhat depressive, and I have no doubt whatsoever that this was directly attributable to the fact that, the way her life turned out, she was only actively using a fraction of her considerable intelligence for most of her adult years.  But she didn't take that out on my sister or me--we were very lucky that way, and we are also lucky that we've been given the opportunity to pursue lives more intellectually fulfilled than hers was. 

 

NJoy, I'm sorry that your dad is not around anymore, but glad you had the love from him that you did, and that he could at least somewhat offset your mother's issues.

 

Jax, I am so excited to hear about your new professional developments!  You've been hired by FOUR different schools?  That's crazy!  I mean "crazy" in a good way, you of course realize.  Fingers crossed on the fifth prospect.  You, lying around getting your nails done and talking on the phone fourteen hours a day?  Naah, I don't see that at all--definitely doesn't accord with the Stormchaser image! 

 

Adamadaman, good job on avoiding the car accident--I almost had one last night, too: my own stupidity pushing it with a yellow light, but the moving van that turned left directly in front of me was pushing it, too, and between him and my already battered (as those of you familiar with my history know) little Honda, I'd have come out much the worse.  Slammed on the brakes.  Missed him by a few feet.  OK, no more pushing yellow lights.  I'm very glad your swerve saved YOU!

 

Deinoncote, JustKeepSwimming, SkyZone, Mogeii, Laelani, Dreamstate,  and and and . . . EVERYBODY--good wishes to all.  Stay cool as you can.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

 

 

Laelani -

 

I really can't say what your experience is going to be like.  I can only say what my experience was like and relate what I've heard other people's experiences have been like.

 

You're not stuck like this.

 

I think that's the biggest fear in withdrawal, and I suspect that's what you read into my previous post.  Wait until you feel ready to begin your taper.  You won't feel 100%, but you'll know.  Your sxs do not have to be as bad as they are now, even if you're tapering.  Sounds like you went through a rapid cross-over - it could take a few weeks to recover from that.  I began my taper before I was fully stabilized because at the time I didn't know what "stable" felt like for me in withdrawal.

 

You'll learn a lot about yourself and what you can tolerate as you progress.  Remember to take it nice and easy, be kind to yourself, only push yourself as much as you can take, and go slow with your taper.  You can't advance your dependence if you're tapering, regardless of how slow you're going.

 

You'll do just fine. 

 

~D

Just chiming in to agree with Deinoncote completely 

 

Also Rek- you are on to something. I am planning to break the chain of tormenting mothers starting with me!

JKS, from what you've already told me, I know you've broken the chain.  You got those books for your daughter when beloved kitty departed from your lives, and you encouraged her to write about it--it's TOTALLY clear that you are a loving and supportive mother.  All I can say is keep up the good work!!   

 

Hope everyone got some windows today -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

I hope I'm asking this in the right place.

 

I'm very strict about my time of dosage (4 times per day exactly 6 hours apart:  4am/10am/4pm/10pm, around the clock,

as I taper by about 10% (maybe 5% next time  ).

 

Anyway, yesterday I forgot my 4pm dose and ended up taking it at about 5pm.  Today I feel I went backward in

symptoms... unstabalized beginning at about 11am or so... feel bad but not horrible.. but I was stable the day

before yesterday and was getting my courage up for a cut after 19 days on this 1.3mg dose (using a microgram

scale).

 

I know I need to wait now.. until the stable feeling comes along again (gosh that feels good.. to have that good

non-Hell feeling.. to know my brain can actually heal and is doing that  ).

 

I don't know if I'm asking anything.. I guess I just need a bit of encouragement... etc. 

 

- Jerry

Hi Jerry,

 

I never noticed any difference based on what time I took my dose, and I would take it anywhere from 10pm to 3am.  I would be surprised if the timing triggered a wave afterward - I think people generally have worse sxs prior to the dose if they're late.  That was my experience with interdose withdrawals on Xanax.

 

This is why a health journal is so important.  There's a good chance you'll be late in one of your doses again, especially if you have brain fog anything like what I had.  It's easier to find patterns if you write it down.

 

Sorry you seem to be in a wave again.  The good news is you know now that you'll come out of it. 

 

~D

fake sleep fake sleep fake sleep 

Hey all,

Overall I have been hanging in there, typical ups and downs as usual. Not that bad not that great either. It's been over 2 weeks from my last taper.

Everyday is different. I haven't been here much lately. I feel like sometimes its just better if I don't read stuff from internet and just watch movies and TV-series or play some games to distract myself from all these waves. I have had some days this month when I'm having very much energy and get all these great ideas and just buying stuff I don't even need etc.. but then it just suddenly all comes down like.. I get bored from it all and get this 1-2 day depressed feeling. Anyway... as you all know how weird some withdrawal symptoms can be it's unbelievable.

I have been having very weird one for 4-5 days. When I inhale or exhale I get this pain in my left hand thumb.... it lasts 0.1 sec. It's not very painful but its that kind of "pain" that gets me all aggressive and I start thinking "How the hell one even can have this type of bizarre symptom and how can it be even related to breath". I mean really.. how is my breathing making pain to my left thumb 

I know there can be all kinds of weird stuff going on and I have had my share of weirdness but sometimes it just amazes me how bizarre this can be.

Anyone have had this ?

 

HPC

Hi guys,

 

Up until last Thursday, I believed I was doing well with my K withdrawal. I was down to 0.7 mgs, and was experiencing annoying derealization episodes with depression usually worst on the day I lowered my dose. I can tolerate depression and figure out my derealization for it's not as bad as it used to be. For the most part, my life was pretty uneventful and drama-free, therefore, nothing could really spark any anxiety for me.

 

Last Thursday, a personal event in my life happened that sparked great anxiety and depression and it was practically unbearable. I almost considered jumping back to my regular dosage the moment it happened (1 mg x2 day if needed), but I fought it off hard. Friday, I still had the same anxiety and kept trying so hard to fight through it. It felt as if I was suffering. Today, I finally decided to up my dose to 0.75 mgs which helped a little during the first half of the day (I take it in the morning), but the 2nd half of the day, I was back to pure hell in terms of anxiety. The depression and derealization still persist, but as I said, I can deal with those well. The anxiety is such a killer. I don't know how to overcome it better. I've been active, I've been socializing trying to distract myself. In the end, it's always there and it really hurts. I don't really know what to do with my medication at the moment. I've been looking back to the day before the personal event happened, trying to figure out how I was so calm--trying to regain that mentality. It's like I took several steps backward. I need some advice if anyone has any. I appreciate it.

 

-D.S.

Hi, DS:

 

Very sorry to her you got blindsided. First thing, if you take your K dose once a day, IMO it's very likely you're having interdose withdrawal sx, which generally get worse as the time since the last dose gets longer. I'm an Ativan person, but I think most people here in Klonoland would agree about the 1X/day dosing. I went from 1X/day Ativan dosing to 3X/day; it wasn't that hard and my sx got better almost immediately.

 

So, that's what I'd do.

 

Aweigh

And...she's at 14 months today. Yay! Dreamstate, I am thinking of you as I write this, because you are bringing up something that is still what we deal with even after the Klonopin - anxiety. I completely empathize with you, truly. I was diagnosed with panic disorder after a truly awful series of things happened in 1990 - seriously near-death experiences. I started with racing thoughts that made me want to check out, until I got on benzos, Xanax at the time, in 1992.

 

And so that's what I'm dealing with, 14 months out - how to handle anxiety without ever going back on benzos. There are no hard and fast ways, I've discovered. Lately I've been plagued with thoughts of death and that people I love will die. I've been terrified - maybe it has to do with my brother as a recent cancer survivor - but my husband is a smoker, my cat is 12, etc. Maybe that's even justified, but not to the point of panic. I've been so happy lately and I feel somehow that will all be gone immediately somehow. So - I do a lot of yoga. I read the paper on the balcony. I've been a happy housewife this summer and getting excited about my career change. Doing my nails - just kidding, Reks! Anyway, time for an exciting day with my husband to put up curtains, get a picture frame and a floor plant, and keep making a home. Actually that is pretty exciting, lol. And the heat wave has broken!!

 

Njoy, get your butt out on the boat. You sound awesome, my friend.

 

Alrightly, let's embark on the day! Hugs to all.

Hi Jerry,

 

I never noticed any difference based on what time I took my dose, and I would take it anywhere from 10pm to 3am.  I would be surprised if the timing triggered a wave afterward - I think people generally have worse sxs prior to the dose if they're late.  That was my experience with interdose withdrawals on Xanax.

 

This is why a health journal is so important.  There's a good chance you'll be late in one of your doses again, especially if you have brain fog anything like what I had.  It's easier to find patterns if you write it down.

 

Sorry you seem to be in a wave again.  The good news is you know now that you'll come out of it. 

 

~D

 

The old saying here, "..everybody is different.." sure fits with what you're saying there as compared to my experience. 

 

I felt great during the hour late taking the dose.. zero anxiety or the Big Bad Feeling;  nothing.  I just happened to get into

my car and glanced at the clock and saw it was almost 5 and the dose was due at 4. 

 

I don't know what "brain fog" is.

 

New events these past several days has my anxiety up... but not devastating.  Just annoying and poking away at my

hope of complete recovery as I taper. 

 

Anyway, thank you very much for reading and responding to my post about the fears after being late on that dose. 

 

- Jerry

CONGRATULATIONS ON 14 MONTHS, JAXY!!   

 

One year for me in about three weeks.

 

Jaxy, I understand those fears you talk about.  I don't have time to write now, but am mulling over what you said.  Does meditation help with the fearfulness?

 

Good morning, all--I hope you have a windowful day!

 

Peace,

 

Rek

 

 

 

 

Hi, DS:

 

Very sorry to her you got blindsided. First thing, if you take your K dose once a day, IMO it's very likely you're having interdose withdrawal sx, which generally get worse as the time since the last dose gets longer. I'm an Ativan person, but I think most people here in Klonoland would agree about the 1X/day dosing. I went from 1X/day Ativan dosing to 3X/day; it wasn't that hard and my sx got better almost immediately.

 

So, that's what I'd do.

 

Aweigh

 

Just read your signature, that sounds like a good idea. I really appreciate your input!

 

 

 

 

And...she's at 14 months today. Yay! Dreamstate, I am thinking of you as I write this, because you are bringing up something that is still what we deal with even after the Klonopin - anxiety. I completely empathize with you, truly. I was diagnosed with panic disorder after a truly awful series of things happened in 1990 - seriously near-death experiences. I started with racing thoughts that made me want to check out, until I got on benzos, Xanax at the time, in 1992.

 

And so that's what I'm dealing with, 14 months out - how to handle anxiety without ever going back on benzos. There are no hard and fast ways, I've discovered. Lately I've been plagued with thoughts of death and that people I love will die. I've been terrified - maybe it has to do with my brother as a recent cancer survivor - but my husband is a smoker, my cat is 12, etc. Maybe that's even justified, but not to the point of panic. I've been so happy lately and I feel somehow that will all be gone immediately somehow. So - I do a lot of yoga. I read the paper on the balcony. I've been a happy housewife this summer and getting excited about my career change.

 

Meditation and sipping tea always worked for me (except recently obviously), but like you said, I've always wondered what would happen once I make it and I'm finally off the K. If something were to stir up some serious anxiety and I have nothing to turn to.

I was on 6 mg Klonopin for 26 years. Then a psychiatrist in emg. Took it all away replacing it wit Librium. I have been in an awful place as a result for nearly a year. Whole body spasms and trembling with every part of my body sent me to emerg. Next day. Added more Librium. I went into a two week 24/7 panic anxiety attack and kidney failure. Depersonalization and Hallucinations were like a protection for survival. I found Dr. Ashton and am trying to follow her regime. After 26 years of addiction to 6 mg per day do I have a chance of recovery? I cannot find anyone who has been on that much for that long. The psychiatrist who first put me on 6 mg gave me 1mg Ativan to take whenever I needed it also. If anyone can send me a personal message of support who has been that bad please contact me personally. In the hospital during that time when the Klonopin didn't control my anxiety the psychiatrist would shoot me full of Hadol just to give me a few hours of relief, so I have been on Haldol(lower dose) for that long too. Do I have a chance? I took so much for so long it started rebounding and causing major anxiety attacks.

First, let me respond to  Jaxy... I got out on the water today... my sweetie took all morning getting the hitch on the car and then we headed straight for the water.   Becky, of course, you have a chance... you just can't rush it... "don't push the river."_R. Carson  I wanted to taper from .75 in a year but its not going to happen... its going to be more like 2 years... its very difficut but if you've c/t, its not going to be any worse than that... just takes a long time and the endless bad days get so frustrating, but you get so much back for your effort.

I'm at .003mg  :laugh:

 

Is there even a point in doing this? I feel dumb taking a tiny crumb but it's psychological. I'm feeling pretty darn good.

I'm at .003mg  :laugh:

 

Is there even a point in doing this? I feel dumb taking a tiny crumb but it's psychological. I'm feeling pretty darn good.

 

Love it.  Looking forward to doing something similar down the line at some point. 

Hard times for me . 5 days ago I had a one day window after a long but fairly minor wave. Well since that window it has been a major wave. You know I have handled anxiety and depression for years now, and I would say that I can handle them both separately. The hard times like these come when they team up. Major depression coupled with fear is not a combo to be underestimated. I spent the day with my family and actually felt pretty good for about 70% of that time, but as soon as my mind is allowed to run free it all comes back. Not sleeping well either. But tommorow something big happens. I go to my psychiatrist for the last time and tell him that while personally I think he is a good guy, his profession has done nothing but harm me since I had issues with moderate anxiety 6 years ago. I was a kid with anxiety over school and maybe a little health anxiety, since being put on meds it turned into panic disorder, gad, gerd, major depressive disorder, being put into a mental hospital, suicidal ideation, and of course benzo withdrawal. I won't be harsh with him but I will be another data point to spread our story. Past that though I am looking forward to a window. Physically I am in pain and mentally I am down in the dumps . Hope everyone else is pushing ahead.

Sorry to see lots of people are struggling.  It will pass, just be kind to yourselves.  Self-forgiveness and letting go of anger really helped me along the way.

 

becky - I know there are other people on here who have very long histories with benzos.  Try looking for pianogirl, who is a moderator.  She's been very successful.  I believe Librium is another one of the long half-lived benzos, but I've never taken it and that's really all I know about it.  Have you found it easier to withdraw from the Librium?

 

On residual anxiety - unfortunately, even once you're done with withdrawal you're back to trying to deal with the issue that got you on benzos in the first place - and it's SO much worse in withdrawal.  I've dealt with generalized anxiety and insomnia most of my life, but panic attacks were very rare.  Anyone can have a panic attack, but dealing with them on a regular basis is difficult.  The good news is... after dealing with acute withdrawal and then the much milder withdrawal while titrating, everything seems much easier to deal with.  I think this may be the case for many people.  Nothing organic is as bad as acute withdrawal.  I hope that's the case for those of you dealing with old anxiety - and remembering everything you've been through helps to center you.  I know it helps me a lot. 

 

Mogeii - it's terrible to hear you're suffering, but at least you know it can be better.  And it will be. 

 

I had a really good window Friday evening and most of Saturday.  It started with an energy drink and ended with some potato chips.  And this is what's very frustrating - my other health issues make it near impossible to tell if I'm through with withdrawal.  I have a tendency toward B12 deficiency, which I just read can cause permanent neurological damage, but I could be experiencing some minor sxs such as fatigue and BRAIN FOG.  I take supplements, but if I have an absorption problem, I may need more than what I've been taking.  Thus the energy drink.  And I forgot that I'm reacting poorly to white potatoes lately.

 

Anyway, back to being sluggish and somnolent today.  I slept most of the day and getting anything done required an immense power of will.  I feel heavy and lethargic, but those sxs could be caused by 157,000 different things.  No mental or physical pain at this point, for which I'm very thankful.

 

Jerry - brain fog is exactly what it sounds like.  My brain feels sluggish and foggy.  I don't trust my short-term memory.  Yes, we are all so different in this withdrawal thing.  It's nice to have feedback from others, but I think you'll find you know yourself better than you imagined - you know what you can handle and what you can't.  When it came to dosing, my intuition never steered me wrong.  It gets a lot easier once you become comfortable with that.  I did not trust myself at all when I began titrating, but by the end I knew exactly what to do, almost like second nature.

 

I hope everyone else is doing well and we'll all start to see some long windows soon. 

 

~D