Withdrawal, a head cold, painful laryngitis, and what? It's my BD.

Dear friends,

I am in the throes of opiate withdrawal coupled with the fall out of a benzo taper. Cycling withdrawal symptoms like agitation and leaden legs-- that feeling like you just cannot take another step. I have a wicked head cold and such a sore throat that it is painful to swallow and to talk. I am trying to stay away from OTC meds although I did finally take some Motrin because I could barely lift my head up. My eyes are red and I am using allergy eye drops with no success so far. My face is so swollen, my eyes are black, my nose is red, blah, blah, blah. I am not one to buckle under what would seem to be a run of the mill cold and sore throat, but it is really getting to me. I have to say that I am the third member of my family to get this "cold" and both of my sons were really, really sick with it for about 2 weeks. Maybe it is a virus of some sort.

And, it is my birthday  Very bittersweet as it is a natural milestone to measure progress and I thought I would be better, healed, in fact, and spending my birthday celebrating with my children at some Caribbean beach somewhere. Instead, I am aimlessly looking through Netflix and praying for better days ahead.

Three years ago though I was just in my first month of recovery from a back surgery and could gingerly walk three steps with a walker. So I guess it would be important to see how far I have come.

I relearned to walk-- most of the nerve damage in my leg is gone. I can now walk up to 3 miles.

I went to PT and rehabbed both rotator cuffs, which 3 top specialists said would be near impossible to do.

I have reduced my opiate dose 90% since my surgery, despite being told I would be on them for life. I am ALMOST done with the taper-- will be done by August, for sure.

I AM BENZO FREE-- 7 months!

SO, there's that.

Man, the days just seem long sometimes.

Thank you for listening to my self-indulgent, self-pitying rant. Sometimes, I just need to vent a little 

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

Happy birthday Chrys. I hope your cold let's up for you soon. I know there are better days ahead for you. I see you in the Caribbean on your next birthday

Hugs,

Tina

Gee Whiz, chrysanthemum...

All this going on, and it's your bithday, that's so darn unfair.  I hope you feel better real soon.

Happy Birthday, and take real good care of yourself.

pj

Happy birthday Chrys. I hope your cold let's up for you soon. I know there are better days ahead for you. I see you in the Caribbean on your next birthday

 

Hugs,

Tina

I am hoping for better days ahead for ALL of us! One day at a time, right?

Here's hoping to spending my next birthday on a beach in Aruba!

Thank you for your kindness, as always!

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

Happy Birthday.  It still is your special day.  Linder xo

Thank you very much!

xo

Chrysanthemum

Gee Whiz, chrysanthemum...

 

All this going on, and it's your bithday, that's so darn unfair.  I hope you feel better real soon.

 

Happy Birthday, and take real good care of yourself.

 

pj

Thanks, PJ for your kind wishes! You always have such a nice, gentle, caring voice here and I admire you very much.

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

http://i1261.photobucket.com/albums/ii589/challis99/6a00d83451972669e200e550ad62e18834-800wi.jpg

Happy Birthday, Chrysanthemum!

May next year bring you a perfect birthday.

Love,

Challis 

http://i1261.photobucket.com/albums/ii589/challis99/6a00d83451972669e200e550ad62e18834-800wi.jpg

 

Happy Birthday, Chrysanthemum!

May next year bring you a perfect birthday.

Love,

Challis 

oh my goodness, that was lovely!

Seriously, thank you so much!

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

It just goes from bad to worse.... Now the weepy benzo w/d symptoms and some shoulder twitching have joined the party. Will it ever end??!

Seriously, does it ever just go away? And then stay away?

Chrysanthemum

Yes, sweetie, it does.  It really does.  Probably birthday anxiety is setting it off right now.

Hugs,

Challis 

Yes, sweetie, it does.  It really does.  Probably birthday anxiety is setting it off right now.

Hugs,

Challis 

I am not sure if it is a birthday anxiety so much as it might be grief. I don't really care about my birthday so much-- it's more that it is kind of a marker for progress, you know? Like when you look ahead you think by such and such date things will be better. And to have it come upon me and be so sick from not only the benzo w/d (still) and the opiate w/d (still), same as I was last birthday and the birthday before. That's what I think is bothering me. Also, I have a wicked virus-y cold that just keeps getting worse. So, I am sad.

On the plus side, I am DONE with the benzo taper and almost done tapering off pain meds. Colds go away. So on a cognitive level I know that there is much to be grateful for and I am usually a rose colored glass kind of woman.

It just gets old.

You know?

Chrysanthemum

Hello,

How awful to have a birthday while fighting what's sounds like a very nasty virus.. plus w/d from meds, just awful!  I understand about the marker being a natural point to kind of evaluate where your at. But it sounds like you already have looked at the even bigger picture, which of course is how far you've come.

It can drag you down, I know. Just to be able to vent it all out is good, right?    I have no doubt that tomorrow you'll shrug this off, it's another day, this is tough, but so are you.

Hey, my favorite doctor insisted on tagging along to pay you a visit. He wants to let you know that this darned bug will soon be gone.

http://www.picgifs.com/job-graphics/job-graphics/doctor/animaatjes-dokter-71816.gif

Don't forget how important extra liquids are at this point, good nutrition too. It's so easy not to eat or drink during w/d, but especially with the addition of the virus, ouch.

Take good care,

Your friend,

M.

Oh Chrys, HAPPY BIRTHDAY angel!  I wish I was there to celebrate your special day, or at least be your nurse for the day!  You have been through so much lately.  We are about the same time off the bzs and I still have the ups and downs.  Some days are tough, but so are we.  Tomorrow's gonna be better!

Love sky

Hello,

 

How awful to have a birthday while fighting what's sounds like a very nasty virus.. plus w/d from meds, just awful!  I understand about the marker being a natural point to kind of evaluate where your at. But it sounds like you already have looked at the even bigger picture, which of course is how far you've come.

 

It can drag you down, I know. Just to be able to vent it all out is good, right?    I have no doubt that tomorrow you'll shrug this off, it's another day, this is tough, but so are you.

 

Hey, my favorite doctor insisted on tagging along to pay you a visit. He wants to let you know that this darned bug will soon be gone.

 

http://www.picgifs.com/job-graphics/job-graphics/doctor/animaatjes-dokter-71816.gif

 

Don't forget how important extra liquids are at this point, good nutrition too. It's so easy not to eat or drink during w/d, but especially with the addition of the virus, ouch.

 

Take good care,

 

Your friend,

 

M.

Thank you for your very supportive and sweet post. I appreciate it. This is the cold that keeps on giving. My eye is swollen shut and I can barely swallow for the pain of a sore throat. I have to remember, this too shall pass.

You are a kind friend and I appreciate you very much

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

http://www.picgifs.com/graphics/f/flowers/graphics-flowers-423907.gif

Hope your day finds you getting better every minute, it cannot last forever.

Love,

M.

Oh Chrys, HAPPY BIRTHDAY angel!  I wish I was there to celebrate your special day, or at least be your nurse for the day!  You have been through so much lately.  We are about the same time off the bzs and I still have the ups and downs.  Some days are tough, but so are we.  Tomorrow's gonna be better!

 

Love sky

Thank you so much for your kind wishes.

oh, I have been thinking of you so much and praying for you. YIKES! I am so sorry to learn about the tumor you have. How scary that must be for you.

I will continue to follow your journey and pray for a full return to health-- soon!

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

 

 

[move]Wishing you just a tiny bit of joy on your birthday Chrysanthemum! Sorry you are feeling so crap.

[/move]

Love from Xana

         

Thank you so much for this~ a little bit of joy goes a LONG way. Hope you are doing well and rockin' those cami's and leggings

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

http://www.picgifs.com/graphics/f/flowers/graphics-flowers-423907.gif

 

Hope your day finds you getting better every minute, it cannot last forever.

 

Love,

M.

thank you so much. I am feeling a bit better today and may be going to a movie and dinner for celebration. Yesterday, I took Motrin and I am fully convinced it blocked my pain meds and set me up for a day of squirrelly emotions and pain. I did a peppermint steam treatment for the sinus blockage and things are improving. It is amazing to me that I can still feel really sick and yet deal with it. It shows how much we have to function through this messy business of a benzo w/d!

Be well, sweet friend!

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum