Reinstate or Anti-psychotic.

Im 8 almost 9 months off & Im struggling! have had some good days fair share of bad.. Current symptoms: psychosis, tinnitus, muscle aches/twitches & fatigue. Im thinking of reinstating to liquid valium @ the lowest dosage & start tapering from there, or going on a low dose anti-psychotic. Psychosis is driving me nuts!  :'(

Hi Salam,

 

Just going to give you my view on this and what I think the possible outcome of reinstating Valium might be.  When benzodiazepines are taken and tapered off of more than once, there is the possibility that the next time will be even more difficult to recover from. 

 

Another reason not to reinstate Valium is that it may very well not work as hoped and expected the next time because our bodies recognize it and become somewhat intolerant. 

 

Knowing nothing at all about anti-psychotics, I hope someone will weigh in on this for you.

 

Wishing you feel some relief soon,

Challis

From my research, antipsychotics can cause permanent brain damage, but there doesn't seem to be any, researched, permanent damage from benzo's.

 

Either way, challis right, that reinstating may be worse.

If you can just hold on, I know u get thru this wave.

 

 

Psychosis

Definition

Psychosis is a symptom or feature of mental illness typically characterized by radical changes in personality, impaired functioning, and a distorted or nonexistent sense of objective reality.

Description

Patients suffering from psychosis have impaired reality testing; that is, they are unable to distinguish personal subjective experience from the reality of the external world. They experience hallucinations and/or delusions that they believe are real, and may behave and communicate in an inappropriate and incoherent fashion.

 

Salam, I read your totally coherent posts and your intelligent communicative skills and I don't think for a second you are psychotic.  I have a ton of experience with truly psychotic people.  I am not sure if your

doctor is suggesting anti psychotics, but if they are, I am wondering why??  The other symptoms certainly can be related to the ativan withdrawal and may last 12 months or so.  To reinstate with valium after so long, as Challis said, simply may not work or only work for a few weeks.  I hope you find strength to hang on a little longer if not I will support whatever you choose to do.

Skyy

 

Thanks for the fast response Challis & Mrtmeo!

 

I don't know how much longer I can wait, it's a total nightmare! excuse my pessimism I think im willing to take the risk @ this point.. Thanks for the feedback on the antipsychotic mrtmeo. had a paradoxical reaction from the start, @ this point Idk what to do.

 

 

 

I agree with Skye that you don't sound psychotic.  You may be experiencing the intrusive thoughts and/or derealization and depersonalization though which make you feel like you're going insane.  Is that more what you're going thru?  Those really awful mental symptoms are very common in w/d.  Can you say more about what it's like mentally?

What you've described sounds just like w/d to me.  By the way, how is your sleep?

 

Sincerely,

 

fg

if anything an a/p would elleviate the visuals and control the highs and lows. I was prescribed an a/p for the first 2 weeks of my c/t..it helped keep me balanced. now i am having more physical issues...i would wait it out but thats just me.

Psychosis

Definition

Psychosis is a symptom or feature of mental illness typically characterized by radical changes in personality, impaired functioning, and a distorted or nonexistent sense of objective reality.

Description

Patients suffering from psychosis have impaired reality testing; that is, they are unable to distinguish personal subjective experience from the reality of the external world. They experience hallucinations and/or delusions that they believe are real, and may behave and communicate in an inappropriate and incoherent fashion.

 

Salam, I read your totally coherent posts and your intelligent communicative skills and I don't think for a second you are psychotic.  I have a ton of experience with truly psychotic people.  I am not sure if your

doctor is suggesting anti psychotics, but if they are, I am wondering why??  The other symptoms certainly can be related to the ativan withdrawal and may last 12 months or so.  To reinstate with valium after so long, as Challis said, simply may not work or only work for a few weeks.  I hope you find strength to hang on a little longer if not I will support whatever you choose to do.

Skyy

 

I was also psychotic and very much hallucinating and paranoid -- my husband was ready to hospitalize me -- I'd be curious to know what the poster was specifically experiencing? Also, this issue SHOULD be discussed with her doctor. Mine was out of the country. Mine lasted for five days or so without letting up and was true psychosis. At times I didn't know where I was, or who I was, or who my husband and son were. It was a nightmare. Thankfully, I wasn't committed and, at home, encouraged to keep tapering (I'd cut too much -- .25mg per day of Xanax on top of dropping a ton of updoses up until that point, so I estimate it was a .75mg drop -- other than depressed, I'm okay again today).

 

I wouldn't have taken an antipsychotic even when I was hallucinating because I knew I'd never hallucinated before or grown disoriented AND I was having panic attacks, jaw tightness, salivation, shaking, and other things associated with acute w/d. My husband watched over me, and we watched movies together and took a few nearby hikes in parklands.

 

Eight days later, I'm back to feeling "perfect as one does in w/d" -- about 70% for me.

 

It's also the second time I've experienced this with the bigger cuts. Fortunately, I'm down to .5 mg Xanax 3X per day consistently. I'll start water titrating tomorrow and will keep it fast, but steady. If the symptoms reoccur, I will hold.

 

I personally would not take an antipsychotic due to the very real risk which I've personally seen of tardive dyskinisia. No thanks! I wouldn't reinstate either. What about a small rescue dose if you're thinking in that direction? Well, you know what's best for you. Rescue doses have enabled me to continue tapering (about 2X per week, I've had to take one dose that's much higher -- like 2-3mg Xanax -- after, I feel good for days and also just knowing I can do that makes me keep tapering).

 

So far, the longest psychosis I've experienced has been 5 days. I had a "babysitter" and could barely cope but did okay. Is your psychosis longer-persisting?

From my research, antipsychotics can cause permanent brain damage, but there doesn't seem to be any, researched, permanent damage from benzo's.

 

Either way, challis right, that reinstating may be worse.

If you can just hold on, I know u get thru this wave.

 

Hey Skyy, Let me rephrase, It was full blown psychosis visual/auditory hallucinatons lost touch of reality for 5-6 months. I accused my family of so many things & thought people were spying on me!  snapped out of it came to my senses & know none of it was real. Im still having auditory hallucinations

 

I agree with Skye that you don't sound psychotic.  You may be experiencing the intrusive thoughts and/or derealization and depersonalization though which make you feel like you're going insane.  Is that more what you're going thru?  Those really awful mental symptoms are very common in w/d.  Can you say more about what it's like mentally?

 

Hey Whoopie, Im having intrusive thoughts d/p-d/r as well as auditory hallucinations. I had a paradoxcical reaction from the start, since June of '11. but got worse when I quit c/t in september. from 2-3mg a day of ativan. Whats scary is it's been so long, I forgot what "normal" feels like. Mentally it's exhausting, & makes me appreciate life in a new way. I'd like to be semi-productive, rest/ read..I guess I'll resort to ear plugs?

What you've described sounds just like w/d to me.  By the way, how is your sleep?

 

Sincerely,

 

fg

 

Greetings fg,

 

I have my days where I say ok it's withdrawal you'll be ok soon, It's also hard when most doctors are telling me it's not withdrawal..It's major depression w psychosis. My sleep is good 8-9 hours a night, & Im resting as much as I can. dropped out of school & quit my job. being a homebody, which im not used to. Hopefully it'll end soon!

I personally would not take an antipsychotic due to the very real risk which I've personally seen of tardive dyskinisia. No thanks! I wouldn't reinstate either. What about a small rescue dose if you're thinking in that direction? Well, you know what's best for you. Rescue doses have enabled me to continue tapering (about 2X per week, I've had to take one dose that's much higher -- like 2-3mg Xanax -- after, I feel good for days and also just knowing I can do that makes me keep tapering).

 

So far, the longest psychosis I've experienced has been 5 days. I had a "babysitter" and could barely cope but did okay. Is your psychosis longer-persisting

 

Blueorchidlady, Thanks for your Info. Im glad your not experiencing it anymore. It's more auditory hallucinations now. Baffles me that it hasn't subsided..Im becoming a hyprochondriac 

Thanks for the Info janedoe! Hope your healing ok? I've tried a handful of a/p's my last one was zyprexa for 2 1/2 -3 months quit because horrible side affects.

I was on antipsychotics for several years.  My advice is not to go there.  They cause brain damage.  Here is a link to the mindfree site on antipsychotics  http://www.mindfreedom.org/kb/psychiatric-drugs/antipsychotics/neuroleptic-brain-damage.

 

It is amusing, I never needed ap's until I started taking benzos.  I wish I had seen that connection a long time ago, my brain would be in a much better place.

Thanks for the Info janedoe! Hope your healing ok? I've tried a handful of a/p's my last one was zyprexa for 2 1/2 -3 months quit because horrible side affects.

 

ya im doing better i also have hallucinations but i know they are just withdrawal so I dont let them get to me. I think im on day 33 of my cold turkey...i guess i have some time built up that i can reflect upon and i can honestly say i have made some progress. be CAREFUL with the Xanax rescue doses. VERY careful...ive noticed from my observations that Xanax causes a lot of the psychosis issues! I have a couple friends in my personal life that yell and talk to themselves. And its the xanax they were on...Its not a proven fact just everyone tells me to not take xanax's i took a few doses last week and my symptoms went completley away but came back sooooo much harder this week...and this is when my dp/dt and hallucinations kick in. I would just hang on tight GF, your so far along already! Knowing that its just withdrawal and your not crazy is the first step to making these feelings lesser.

 

Jane

I agree with Skye that you don't sound psychotic.  You may be experiencing the intrusive thoughts and/or derealization and depersonalization though which make you feel like you're going insane.  Is that more what you're going thru?  Those really awful mental symptoms are very common in w/d.  Can you say more about what it's like mentally?

 

Hey Whoopie, Im having intrusive thoughts d/p-d/r as well as auditory hallucinations. I had a paradoxcical reaction from the start, since June of '11. but got worse when I quit c/t in september. from 2-3mg a day of ativan. Whats scary is it's been so long, I forgot what "normal" feels like. Mentally it's exhausting, & makes me appreciate life in a new way. I'd like to be semi-productive, rest/ read..I guess I'll resort to ear plugs?

 

I have these (intrusives, DP/DR, auditory hallucinations) all the time together with paranoia, rage, akathisia, mania, etc. I lost touch with reality on occasion too, partly because of DR...and I've even heard voices I do know for a fact that it is withdrawal...so I just keep waiting. It's been 7.5 months off for me.

I got lucky I guess and didn't have the auditory hallucinations ... it sounds awful to deal with.  However I certainly had more than my fair share of dp/dr, intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation ... YUCK.  I believe all this is because the brain has been injured by these drugs ... which could be why docs don't want us to come off them.  I hope you don't resort to taking drugs again, afterall they are the problem not the solution.  I'm so sorry that you are going thru this nightmare of w/d.  I'm thinking the only time to go that route is if one is actively suicidal and their life is in danger that way.

 

Peace and blessings to you

Whoopsie

Thanks for the advice BB's. Just worried &  exhausted. their not typical auditory hallucinations I've read on here about some people..thats what makes me frusterated.  :'(

Salam, when I first came off the Ativan, I remember hearing songs playing in my head over and over...at the time I thought they were Auditory Hallucinations, because they were almost constant..but since then they have improved and I found out that repeatative songs are quite common with anxiety,OCD, and Benzo withdrawal and don't apply to be really auditory Hallucinations... I'm lucky to have only experienced that it was very upsetting, I couldn't imagine having something worse than that like real auditory Hallucinations like you are having, my heart goes out to you...I hope it gets better for you soon.

Hang in there

 

Hugs

Nicole

Salam87, as I start falling asleep I usually hear either my mom, husband or kids talking to me. It's like my mind is replaying part of a conversation we had earlier on that same day. It's not a memory, but an actual hallucination. It sounds real, but I know it isn't so I ignore it. Is this what you have?

Hey quantum bunny, yeah I had those in the beginning I though my phone was ringing through the car stereo brushed it off. & only realized much later it wasn't real. freaky.

I noticed you were on ativan for a short while..Hopefully your withdrawal isn't too bad.. How are you feeling?

 

Hugs Back @ ya. 

Salam87, as I start falling asleep I usually hear either my mom, husband or kids talking to me. It's like my mind is replaying part of a conversation we had earlier on that same day. It's not a memory, but an actual hallucination. It sounds real, but I know it isn't so I ignore it. Is this what you have?

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Hey Mmir! I've had those in the begining when I started the meds. Sorry you've experienced that   it's more so whispers, saying my name,sighs,whistling. Some day are better than others some days im a mess! from where I was to where I am, id like to say Im  better because I know it's not real..@  the same time Im tired of this. As much as I hate benzo's.. i think im going to reinstate on valium.. stabalizing & after 4-5 months use the ashton method. Before I knew anything about BB. In January, I took a few valium's & hallucinations dissapeared. Same with a gaba calm supplement took some for two days & I was fine..So I know it's the benzo's.

After Much Considered thought. I've come Too Far To Reinstate, Not an option. However, Im thinking Of going on a a/p Zyprexa 2.5 mg & low dose benztropine. Any Input would be great.