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Thank you Cedar, even though you wrote you success story in 2012, it reaches out to me in 2020 to help sturdy me up. I’m 21 days into my Alprazolam taper. The real side effects are now starting. Your positive approach, and the list of things that helped you, help me to focus on what works and that I too will one day be free.

 

Thank you for posting your story.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I hope to encourage those of you who are still suffering in withdrawal today.

 

It’s been 2 years since I took my last pill and my health is great!  At about 9-10 months off I was doing fantastic and could not believe all my symptoms had finally disappeared. The truth is I don’t even think about withdrawal anymore, but wanted to come and share my success story with you all.

 

I was prescribed Ativan, Klonopin and Xanax at different times for about 13 years for anxiety and depression. Eventually I reached a point that the benzo’s were no longer working, so my body was forced to get off of them. At the time I noticed it wasn’t working any longer I was up to 4 mg’s Klonopin a day. At first I went off the Klonopin cold turkey, but that sent me to the ER, so I tapered for about a year. The year I tapered and the year after that I was recovering from getting off the benzo’s were the most horrific years of my life. The withdrawal symptoms were excruciatingly painful.  Some of the withdrawal symptoms I experienced were:

 

Extreme hot and cold flashes

Sweating

Nausea/ vomiting

Body aches/ muscle pain

Extreme sensitivity to hot, cold, sound and light

Shaking/ tremors

Occasional numbness and tingling in fingers and toes

Electrical shocks throughout entire body

Inability to focus on anything (reading and driving was impossible)

Distorted vision and hearing

Hallucinations

Night terrors (terrifying dreams that felt and seemed physically real)

Insomnia (sometimes no more than 1-2 hours a night)

Headaches

Weight loss

Dizziness (unable to walk without holding on to something or someone)

Crawling sensations on the skin

Tooth pain (as though my teeth were made out of metal and metallic taste in my mouth)

Agoraphobia

 

I often wore sunglasses even indoors because light hurt my eyes so much. My ears were sensitive too. For many months even the sound of a pen falling was painful so I wore earplugs.  When I was able to, I listened to TV and radio on the lowest settings. Certain fabrics hurt my skin. My teeth felt metallic and eating foods high in salts and sugars was painful. It felt like every nerve in my body was damaged to the extreme. I was bedridden for a year and wasn't sure the pain would ever end.....but it did.

 

Things that helped me survive these symptoms were:

 

Heating pads

Ice packs

Watching movies to distract from the pain

Eating whole unprocessed foods

Drinking lots of water

Avoiding things high in caffeine like coffee, tea and soda

No alcohol

Warm baths

A deep desire to not let benzo’s beat me

Positive speech

Prayer

 

I read the success stories here and it gave me hope that I would one day recover too. It was very hard to hold on, but I’m glad I did. Life is beautiful now and I am so grateful that I am off all medications and doing well on a healthy diet alone. I don’t need antidepressants or benzo's at all anymore and actually feel better now than I did when I was taking them. Exercise and eating healthy can change your life. It’s hard to do this when you feel so bad, so take small steps and accept your friends and families help. There are no heroes in withdrawal, so don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

 

There is so much to say about what I went through, but I wanted to keep this as short as possible. I encourage everyone to stay focused on the end goal of getting off of benzo's and staying off, but please do not stop them cold turkey.  There are so many ways to combat anxiety without meds. I only wish I had learned that before.

 

Healing is possible.  Focus on speaking positively about your life and getting well, also focus on your health rather than stressing and worrying about every little symptom. Eventually they will all go away with time. Even sleep will come back! Your body will remember. What I learned is that when this is over you’ll be much stronger and you’ll appreciate life like never before.

 

All my best for a happy and healthy recovery!

Cedar

Thank you... need this so much.

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  • 3 months later...

:smitten: your words are so powerful and have helped me tremendously today :smitten: I am almost 3 months free and some days can be so tough. your story fills my warrior spirit with strength.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Cedar,

I was so excited when I came across your success story. I am on ativan (8 years) and ambien (over 20) as well and I am just starting this journey. I was also happy to see your first 2 withdrawal symptoms are what I am currently struggling with the most. Can't wait till I am on the other side. You give me hope  :)

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