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You will heal too!


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Hello Buddies!

 

I posted this success story 3 years ago.  Wow!  It's been about 5 years now that I've been benzo free!

 

I never think about benzo's or withdrawal anymore.  It used to consume every moment of my life for years. (20 year benzo use)  Recently someone reached out to me in a private message asking for help with their Ativan taper plan.  I've posted about it on the Ativan taper thread.  Thinking back and remembering this whole terrible journey only makes me feel more gratitude for my health.  So many years suffering at the hands of unnecessary prescription medications.  There are so many better ways to deal with stress, anxiety, insomnia and depression than benzo's and psych drugs.  ***Doctors, I hope you're listening.

 

If I could reach just one person today with my message that "you will heal too", then what I suffered and went through was not for nothing.  If I could give one person who is feeling desperate and alone today HOPE, then it was worth it.  Hope is what everyone here needs. 

 

I always tell people who are feeling depressed because of benzo's to read the success stories.  The success stories are what kept me going.  Without hope, I'm not sure I would have been able to follow through with my taper to get free.  The day I took my last pill was one of the happiest days of my life because I knew I beat it!  I could not let some little pill rob my of my life anymore.  Don't let it rob you of your life.

 

Get mad, fight this and win!  I wish the best for all of you and pray you'll have benzo freedom soon.  Health is everything.  Your health is worth fighting for.  Beat this, win!

 

Love,

Cedar

 

Good health is truly worth more than any sum of money. You understand so well! 14 months into withdrawal out from my last Ativan dose. So lost and hopeless, no windows for months. Thank you so much for coming back to lend hope to the hopeless. 💗

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Hello dexterdgo, hope you are sleeping better now!  Symptoms do come and go a lot after your last dose. Thanks for the awesome post!  Take care.

 

Angelprint, if you're still here, how are you doing now?  Hope you're beginning to heal. It can take a few years to fully heal from this, stay strong! 

 

Sending love,

Cedar

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  • 4 weeks later...
Hi Cedar, I'm now almost 17 months out and still suffer badly. I am realizing 17 months is a short time for some in the realm of withdrawal. I am praying it's not for the rest of my life. If someone could look into a crystal ball and tell me it will only take a year or two more it would be so much easier. I'm just hanging on here. Thank you so much for your response. I think I need to reread success stories like yours. 💗
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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Angelprint, so good to hear from you!

 

I'm just going to say it, the suffering is not for the rest of your life.  This is temporary.  It does take some people a few years to fully recover, but you should be noticing improvements along the way.  I know I did.  It is a long process, but one day you're just going to be well, going about your life and you'll never think about withdrawal anymore.  I remember this used to consume me and terrify me too.  But I honestly never think about it anymore unless I get a message from someone from this forum.  Then I go "oh yeah"  I remember how scared I used to be and it's over now!

 

Focus on your recovery and what you can do to heal and it will change the whole process for you.  Tell yourself this is temorary, say it out loud, eventually you'll believe it. 

 

Sending love,

Cedar

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Cedar, your reply made me tear up. I am having such a horrific journey and I cannot wait to be in the place you describe, looking back on it all and saying "oh yeah I remember..." I hope and pray that you're right and it's not a life sentence in this hell. Thank you so much, I will try and tell myself it's not permanent out loud even if I can't believe it right now. 💗
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Cedar,

I wish I could see more post here including you. This sure encouraging me. I just start my "after jump" phase, and hoping to get better as well. Thank you for posting, hopefully you will always healthy. :)

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Cedar,

 

I cannot thank you enough for this. Many of your symptoms I've experienced/am experiencing as well. I want to thank you for providing hope on a night that my positive outlook was dim. You've restored it. It seems that a lot of my symptoms have improved so greatly, that I feel like I'm well on my way. I still battle tinnitus, derealization to a degree that creeps up once in a while, twitching of my legs, sensory issues and cognitive issues. But, your story is great. I hang onto faith and prayer to continue to get me through. I look forward to the day I will have my life back, as I was blessed far too much to live like this. Thanks again, congratulations and God bless you!

 

 

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I read your success once again. Still giving hope for me.  Thank you.  Best wishes for you.  I am 11 months benzo free, healing, and needing encouragement.  :-*
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Cedar, your reply made me tear up. I am having such a horrific journey and I cannot wait to be in the place you describe, looking back on it all and saying "oh yeah I remember..." I hope and pray that you're right and it's not a life sentence in this hell. Thank you so much, I will try and tell myself it's not permanent out loud even if I can't believe it right now.

Hey there Angel!  I'm sorry to hear you're still suffering so much. This is not a life sentence, please believe me.  Read more success stories.  They'll tell you the same thing.  Focus on all those people who were exactly where you are and trust them.  There is something so powerful about saying positive things to yourself out loud.

 

In the meantime, distracting yourself from the pain is really important.  Find things you like to focus on.  Read books, watch movies, find a fun and relaxing hobby, talk to a friend on the phone, go for a walk, anything.

 

I know one day you're going to write your own success story and I cannot wait to read it!!!

 

Cedar

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Cedar,

I wish I could see more post here including you. This sure encouraging me. I just start my "after jump" phase, and hoping to get better as well. Thank you for posting, hopefully you will always healthy. :)

Yes, lets all be healthy!  Congrats on being free!  :smitten:

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Cedar,

 

I cannot thank you enough for this. Many of your symptoms I've experienced/am experiencing as well. I want to thank you for providing hope on a night that my positive outlook was dim. You've restored it. It seems that a lot of my symptoms have improved so greatly, that I feel like I'm well on my way. I still battle tinnitus, derealization to a degree that creeps up once in a while, twitching of my legs, sensory issues and cognitive issues. But, your story is great. I hang onto faith and prayer to continue to get me through. I look forward to the day I will have my life back, as I was blessed far too much to live like this. Thanks again, congratulations and God bless you!

Hello illneverdothisagain!  You're so positive and it sounds like you're well on your way to being whole and happy again. 

 

Whenever you get feeling hopeless print some of these success stories and read them over and over.  Believing that you're going to heal is more than half the battle.

 

When you're well be sure to write a success story and share it with others.  :smitten:

 

Cedar

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I read your success once again. Still giving hope for me.  Thank you.  Best wishes for you.  I am 11 months benzo free, healing, and needing encouragement.  :-*

 

Hello Arkansas.

 

Congrats on 11 months free!!!  That is awesome!  I hope you're doing much better and noticing improvements.  :thumbsup:

 

Hugs,

Cedar 

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Hello Buddies!

 

It's easy to get away from the forum for long periods of time.  When you're healed you forget about the nightmare that once consumed your life.  It's a good thing to forget, but I don't want to leave you all behind either.

 

I know you're either just beginning your tapering journey, in the middle of your own personal hell, finishing your taper, or have been off of benzo's for some time and still not feeling "normal" yet.  Trust me, it takes time.  It varies from person to person and there's no way to know just how long it will take until it's over.

 

I feel blessed to have my life back and to be free from the drugs that hurt me for so long.  People often ask me, "was it worth it?", meaning was it worth it to go through a long difficult taper and then withdrawal after the taper?  YES!  It was well worth it.  I am clear headed for the first time in years.  I see the world through new eyes.  Each day is a gift.  Benzo's have a way of robbing you of your senses.  They rob you of your health, your sanity and your life (for awhile).  But you don't have to let it win. You can beat it.  How do you do this?

 

One miserable, lousy day at a time.  First you make a taper plan.  Then you follow it to the letter until you are off of it.  And then you rest and trust that your body will work it out. Your body will heal from this.  You're not going to believe it right now, but trust me.  It heals.

 

I wish you all the best and look forward to reading all of your success stories some day. Let me know when you post it!

 

Sending love,

Cedar  :smitten:

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Hello Buddies!

 

It's easy to get away from the forum for long periods of time.  When you're healed you forget about the nightmare that once consumed your life.  It's a good thing to forget, but I don't want to leave you all behind either.

 

I know you're either just beginning your tapering journey, in the middle of your own personal hell, finishing your taper, or have been off of benzo's for some time and still not feeling "normal" yet.  Trust me, it takes time.  It varies from person to person and there's no way to know just how long it will take until it's over.

 

I feel blessed to have my life back and to be free from the drugs that hurt me for so long.  People often ask me, "was it worth it?", meaning was it worth it to go through a long difficult taper and then withdrawal after the taper?  YES!  It was well worth it.  I am clear headed for the first time in years.  I see the world through new eyes.  Each day is a gift.  Benzo's have a way of robbing you of your senses.  They rob you of your health, your sanity and your life (for awhile).  But you don't have to let it win. You can beat it.  How do you do this?

 

One miserable, lousy day at a time.  First you make a taper plan.  Then you follow it to the letter until you are off of it.  And then you rest and trust that your body will work it out. Your body will heal from this.  You're not going to believe it right now, but trust me.  It heals.

 

I wish you all the best and look forward to reading all of your success stories some day. Let me know when you post it!

 

Sending love,

Cedar  :smitten:

 

Thank you so much for coming back to post is Cedar, it's so supportive and hopeful. If I ever heal and write a success story I will definitely let you know. Until then I'll be re-reading success stories like yours again and again through this seemingly neverending time. Thank you so much 💗

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  • 1 month later...

Thx Cedar....your posts have always been helpful and I am back again for a second time around....see below.

 

This time is 10x worse...is that typical?

 

Have found I cant taper as quickly this time....so increasing back up to .25mg as .125mg is destroying me.....ugh.  The mouth probs are back, bitter taste24/7, insomnia, joint pain, hair loss, anxiety, dizziness, irritable, cognitive probs, gut probs, headaches and worse tinnitus.

 

I am sooo scared that I have ruined my life and even though I was off of the kloni for 18 mnths....my nerves were a mess and easily irritated with the nebulizer treatment.

 

Right now I have chills, feel like vomiting and cant get out of bed......any thoughts?

 

BB.

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  • 2 weeks later...
I have decided to start paying more attention to the success stories and less attention to the dreadful stories of WD. I am currently still on 3 meds and am tapering them one at a time. These stories give me so much hope that I will be able to succeed as well.
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  • 3 months later...
So so please for you you are so brave l know how hard it is lam 5 1/2 months off and still finding it difficult and l was'nt on a high dose like some people all the physical symptoms have gone but the depression has revved up but l  am trying to ignore it the fear is bad l have to try hard not to think  l am a depressive and tell myself it's just the benzo talking ... Hope l can be as brave as you and thankyou for sharing your story
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Hi CedarTree

 

    Just read your success story. Congrtaulations!!! So happy for you because I am right there with you. I was on benzos for 13 months included a 3 month taper. I just turned the corner about 3 weeks ago. I am 6 1/2 months out and feeling fantastic. I'm back and stronger than ever. Soon I will write my success story. Best wishes!!!

 

              ldm27    :thumbsup:

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  • 3 months later...
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Erik - it took me a while to figure out what 'bump' meant too.  People do it so posts stay current and don't get buried so deep nobody sees them  :)  Last post was 2016.

 

Hi Unicorn!  Thanks so much for bumping this success story!  Hope you are well and no fire alarms are going off!!!

 

This post is so encouraging for me at the moment.  I am nine weeks post jump from 1mg Klon.  Seeing lots of signs of healing, but it is so damned easy to get into the fear factor when reading the super horror stories of those suffering so tremendously.

 

It is possible to heal completely, even after cedar's long term use, in a reasonable amount of time.  I especially liked that cedar used prayer and a positive attitude and determination as part of her tools.

 

Thank you cedar!!!  Wherever you are!!!  Hopefully you are living a lovely, sane and peaceful life. 

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