Author Topic: You will heal too!  (Read 108607 times)

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #60 on: May 10, 2012, 05:08:21 pm »
Hi [...]. No, never any big setbacks at months 4,5,6 or any other months. I [...] kept healing gradually and symptoms kept dropping off. Sometimes I was more aware of certain symptoms, but I could feel I was on my way to health because of the vast improvement I kept seeing.  I noticed things like I was able to take a shower in hot water without my skin screaming in agony. I was able to stand up on my own without falling over, I was able to turn up the radio without covering my ears or wearing earplugs, things like that. One by one each symptom disappeared.  Symptoms were by far the worst when I was overly stressed about something. Dizziness would come back with a vengeance and I'm assuming most of that was due to the fact I wasn't breathing properly.

[...] know that everyone's experience is totally different. The people who have cold turkeyd seem to be the ones who have the worst time once off.  They complain a lot about getting worse and worse before they're able to get better. That's why c/t is the worst thing anyone can do, no matter how bad you feel.  I felt like garbage every single day,  never once stabilized, but I also knew that I had to keep tapering if I had a prayer of getting better.  There were days I questioned my resolve to taper, but I'm so glad I stuck to it and it payed off big. 

When I went into tolerance withdrawal literally overnight in the summer of 09, I went to my doctors and told him how desperately ill I was.  He actually told me to [...] stop taking my 4 mg's of K a day and that the drug would be out of my system in a week and I'd start to get well in a few weeks.  Was he WRONG!!!  I actually followed his piss poor advice and stopped taking the K for 3 days which essentially was a cold turkey. I renistated and wound up in the ER. At that point he switched me to Ativan and added Ambien (huge mistake!).  I swear this doc was trying to kill me.  So I tapered it the best way I could, with no real instruction from him.  He was always ambivalent about it.  He felt I could not live without benzo's and wanted me to increase my dose, not taper me off it. So, I had to learn the hard way that the only way out of this was to taper if I had a prayer of getting back to health again.  Sometimes you [...] have that revelatory moment when you know that you must do the thing you think you can't do. 
I [...] this encourages you TG!  It's going to get better I promise.

Love,
[...]

That's how it's been for me.  I did not want to taper this med, I [...] wanted off.  But I've been through a CT before and it nearly killed me, so I know this is how it's going to have to be for me, although it's torment.  It's certainly not as frightening as a CT.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #61 on: May 10, 2012, 11:09:57 pm »
Oh wow, yeah, CT is miserable. But, I truly believe you'll survive this [...] and feel well again.   :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #62 on: May 11, 2012, 12:19:17 am »
Thank you [...], I need to hear that a lot.  This is really scary and hard.
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[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #63 on: May 13, 2012, 03:11:23 am »
[...]

hi there i [...] responded to you on another thread but have come here to seek your valued opinions on a few things that are bothering me.  I c/t 2mg of xanax in late october 2011 and then dropped the other 4mg at xmas by replacing it with 45 mg of valium and then coming off that in 18 days well down to a 2.5mg of valium and then rapid detoxed in hospital the last 2.5 in ten days this was 4 1/2 weeks ago.  Now as you can imagine extremely hard and hectic this was done in hospital 7 weeks over xmas and then well [...] recently.  Now did you feel traumatised at all after it?  and is week five to much to soon to expect to be feeling 100 percent.   I would really value your honest opinion.  Im left feeling very fragile and really like a feeling of depression is hanging around.

thanks heaps

Lizzy
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #64 on: May 13, 2012, 04:48:01 am »
I'm sorry Lizzy, I didn't realize you were suffering that much as your posts are so positive.  [...] think it's great you're so positive and offer such great support to everyone!

Wow, that's a lot to go through in such a short amount of time.  Depression is the #1 worst thing to have to endure IMHO. It is a liar and has no rhyme or reason sometimes.  Anyway, I feel ya sweet Lizzy!

In answer to your question I mostly felt traumatized while I was tapering because I tapered for a long time with no break from symptoms, no stabilizing as people talk about, [...] misery and mostly wishing I could die. After I was off the benzo's I mostly felt really relieved that I didn't have to take another pill ever again even though I was [...] physically sick.  But the memory of the months lying on the bathroom floor shaking and vomiting in pain in every cell of my body haunted me quite a bit. As I've gotten further and further away from it (meaning time) it's gotten a lot better and there are certain things I've completely forgotten about.  I wasn't thinking of benzo's or withdrawal at all until recently I came back to post my success story.

This may sound awful, but I really do think that week 5 off benzo's is way too soon to be expecting to feel 100%.  It will most likely take several months if I am to be fully honest.  [...] I'm wrong, but that's pretty normal.  I'm so sorry for all you've been through and you are incredibly brave and strong to have endured it all.

Hugs to you Lizzy,
[...]
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[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #65 on: May 13, 2012, 05:02:44 am »
Thanks [...]

Im glad i come off so positive i dont know how I do it honestly its been hell on earth as you know sounds to me like this stuff made you feel so sick as well.  [...] knowing that in time the memory will start to fade is a good thing.

Im trying to be so strong atm it sure is a tough gig and one I wish i never had to go through.  anger is a huge issue as well but it is wasteful energy.  oh and the strong nightmares Im having oh my.  anyway you give me so much [...] i have read how dreadful you felt and now your better.  I know it will take a while but I already feel 20 x better than what i did so time will tell.

thanks heaps for writing to me it means a lot.

Lizzy
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #66 on: May 14, 2012, 11:19:31 am »
[...],

Thank you for taking the time to post your success story.  It is most encouraging and gives me [...] that one day I too will fully recover.  I joined BenzoBuddies yesterday and received several immediate sympathetic replies.  My ordeal has been 16 years of psychotropic meds with three attempts to stop them.  This is my third.  Each time the amount of medication I have gotten back on has been less.  This is encouraging to me.   I am free of 6mg lorazepam as of Sept 1 2011 (10 week taper) and free of 200 mg sertraline and 100 mg topiramate as of Nov 24, 2011 (c/t). Sleeping is almost nonexistent at this point.  Burning pain in my arms and legs and feet is bad as well.  As I lay down for sleep at night trembling and anxiety begin and I have various ways of dealing with this from hot showers to stretching to [...] getting in front of the computer or something else to distract me.

Like I said, I am new here and don't even know where or how to begin posting in the right area to receive the support and encourage ment I feel I need, but it is good to hear your recovery.

thank you and God Bless You,

David
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #67 on: May 14, 2012, 09:21:16 pm »
Hi Lizzy.  [...] you're doing a bit better today?  [...] [...] to encourage you that you will get through this and that the trauma of it and even the anger will fade in time.  I was really angry too as we should be when benzo's rob us of our life.   :'(

Hello David. Thanks for the nice message and glad it's encouraged you.  Sounds like you've been on a lot of meds over many years too.  I think you're doing the right things like distracting yourself, staying busy is important. Then we don't focus on how bad we feel every moment of everyday.
There are lots of great people here to support you as you continue to heal. 

Anyway, [...] things continue to improve for you soon!
[...]

Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #68 on: May 14, 2012, 09:50:22 pm »
[...]

[...] want to say thanks you are bringing so much [...] to us all and I really do soooo appreciate you sticking around for a while its making so much difference.  I know it will fade one day I [...] hate the feeling of "what if I cant cope" it will pass one day.

Thanks

Lizzyxx
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: You will heal too!
« Reply #69 on: May 14, 2012, 10:55:07 pm »
thank you so much , [...] ihave qustion about the sensetivety from light and sound couz right now after 4monthes from taking buspar that what iam suffrring from light is really bother me and the sound the other symptems is kinda gone but the light [...] killing me , how long suppose to take fore that ?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.