How long were you initially sick for

Hello

 

Just wondering from the c/t rapid taper crew how long did you feel signaficantly sick for and what were the symptoms you had.  Hoping to get some positive stories happening here.

 

Lizzy

The first few days were tough for me.  Insomnia, I couldn't sit still and had to pace and rock. Walked and walked, even at night in AZ.    Watched TV non stop.  I was here non stop, this was my security blanket.  Had to have some kind of distraction constantly.  The symptoms improved for 2 weeks, then I started having windows.  My symptoms then would disappear completely at sun down and return at 4 am.  It gets better every week!

Skyy

 

that is great positive news.  Ive also noticed that around late arvo i start to feel signficantly better.

 

Lizzy

I had severe acute symptoms for about 2 weeks (no appetite, pacing, extreme anxiety, sobbing uncontrollably, skin crawling, muscle aches, dr, dp, GI issues, insomnia, depression, intrusive and catastrophic thoughts, etc). By the third week I started taking Remeron and had some relief with most symptoms and was able to go back to work by the 4th week. Today I am around 6 months out and only have some issues with insomnia. I had to c/t due to a paradoxical reaction. About 4 years ago I had to taper off K and had a better experience. I know that tapering is a lot better but I am glad I am totally off. 

Hello

 

Just wondering from the c/t rapid taper crew how long did you feel signaficantly sick for and what were the symptoms you had.  Hoping to get some positive stories happening here.

 

Lizzy

 

Hi Lizzy, Did you jump off and are you finished with your rapid taper now?  I hope your symptoms are as mild as mild can be. 

 

My extreme intense  symptoms occurred for about about 4-6 weeks.  They symptoms included extreme fear, paranoia, body jolts/spasms, afraid of being alone, agoraphobia, insomnia, loud ringing in head, weight loss, a continuous feeling of panic attack/heart attack, i had very brief moments during that time that I felt good but it didn't last very long.

After that, the symptoms were still intense but I didn't believe i was going to die anymore.  The panic attacks still occurred for the most part but they weren't as frequent and they suddenly stopped in January.  All of my other symptoms hung on but have diminished over the past 4 months or so. and have continued to hang on to some degree but they have now reached levels that are tolerable so to speak. 

I now have windows that last 1-2 days and I feel great.  Windows are usually followed by a few days of fear and depression but pretty soon a new window comes.  For that I'm very grateful. 

 

Does any of this sound familiar to you?  I hope not!!

 

J

Hey Jane and I want to

 

Jane off day four now and have everything that your describing the intense fear has passed but still frightened massive anxiety upon wakening and just a detachment to the world especially the people i love which disgusts me.  So basically still feel like im going to die from this but somehow I dont.  Glad to see it passes and im hoping for it soon.  Happy that you are getting back on track Im hoping I will heal quickly and get my real life back.

 

Iwtbc

 

you went back to work week four you legend.  that is great news I also had a paradoxal reaction to both x and v actually anything i take seems to challenge me.  Anyway may still feel like crap but at least im not taking it anymore.

 

Lizzy

lizzy, hang in there, cold turkey is not easy but it looks like your hanging in there. For some of us that's the best way to do it, and that's just the way it is.  Just take it one day at a time, and let tomorrow take care of itself.

aaahhh Wellness

 

Nice philosophy Im taking each hour at a time atm however day 5 day no crying its a world record.

 

 

Thanks

 

Lizzy

Skyy,  i did the same like you bike all nights rain , snow , just to calm my nerves . Now 9 months off , just 15 minutes to hour .  Huge  progress , to all who  suffering  ,  WILL GET BETTER  WITH  TIME !    I started  get better 6 months off .  Now 80 %  heal .

I was sooo ill , never believed I will survive !  And  I DID  . We all will , all is time . When you quit  benzo and you have little energie  best is do exersise, calm nerves down . For me was bike , slow or fast , depend on how sick from w/s i was . Not tooo much cardio , like tennis  or aerobic , cause will make you more  sick .

Skyy,  i did the same like you bike all nights rain , snow , just to calm my nerves . Now 9 months off , just 15 minutes to hour .  Huge  progress , to all who  suffering  ,  WILL GET BETTER  WITH  TIME !    I started  get better 6 months off .  Now 80 %  heal .

I was sooo ill , never believed I will survive !  And  I DID  . We all will , all is time . When you quit  benzo and you have little energie  best is do exersise, calm nerves down . For me was bike , slow or fast , depend on how sick from w/s i was . Not tooo much cardio , like tennis  or aerobic , cause will make you more  sick .

 

You are right Erika, it was and is the distraction that kept me going.  Even if it was sitting on the deck for awhile, day or night!  Skyy

Hi Lizzy,

 

How are you doing as your week progresses along?

 

You asked about how people were when they first came off benzos,  I had high anxiety - panic attacks, insomnia, heart palpitations, akathisia, pins and needles, burning skin, agoraphobia. Intrusive thoughts, hallucinations. I thought my teeth were loose, and my eye sight was blurry.

 

I couldn't be left alone for several weeks. At the beginning I couldn't be away from my husband, not even have him in a room next to the one I was in.  If he took a shower I had to be in the bathroom with him or keep the door open with me sitting in the bedroom.  When he slept I sat in the bed with a flashlight the first week. Then it got where I had to pace so much so I would leave the bedroom door open upstairs, but stay in the room directly below, I would travel up and down the stairs many times checking to make sure he was there.

 

I wasn't nauseous very long, but I didn't have an appetite. I drank a lot of protein drinks and water.

 

I did anything I could to distract myself.  I spent hours at night walking and singing the ABC song, it was easy for me to concentrate on the words. I had a ball of yarn that I unraveled and wand back up into the ball, over and over again. Anything to keep my hands and mind busy.

 

Your body will gradually slow down Lizzy. I remember thinking I would never not feel so revved up and couldn't imagine not feeling the anxiety.  But you will.  I am 33 weeks today and in a window, I don't know how I got to this point but one day at a time. 

 

You will get thru this Lizzy. You are going to have to want to - remember how sick that crap made you - don't ever forget, it will give you the strength to go thru this.

 

We're here for you,

love,

Sally

Hi

 

aaahh bike riding would be great dont know if im ready for that yet however hopefully in the future.

 

Wow Sally

 

Im hearing you last night was scary because I started having this stuff in my sleep like I felt anxiety when i was sleeping almost like I was delerious.  Have got all of what you described going on here.

 

Well Ive done it all alone oh except with the help of my bb friends its been a very scary scary time as you know.  The emotional bluntness I feel is the worse thing and the constant thought of permanent brain damage from the toxic element of the drugs to me not the benzos themselves but the sickness I felt on them.

 

My nerves dont seemed revved up like im not jumpy at noises or anything this bothers me.  Im afraid that something more is wrong.  Shouldnt i be jumpy i do have akathisia cant sit still for to long.  Oh last night also as i was falling to sleep i head a ringing sound like an old fashioned telephone whats with that im sure im crazy.

 

Ill get through it somehow someway.

Sorry didnt finish it lol.  Sally im glad you are in a window you so deserve it my friend.

 

take care and keep the window open.

 

Love Lizzy

Lizzy sweetie  ,

 

Your sxs will be different than mine honey.  Don't think that there is anything wrong since you aren't hyper like I was. That may really be a good sign. Remember you weren't on the meds long like I was, and you were taken off different than I was.  See I think that sounds positive.

 

How long are you going to be able to stay at the hospital now that you are off?  I hope til you are ready to go home.

 

Will check back in on you later,

love 

Sally

hey Sally

 

Im going home on Friday clearly not better but seriously I dont want to stay here any longer as beautiful as the enviroment is I want some normality.  Whatever that may be.  Im doing ok just wish the doctors would acknowledge the withdrawal they just dont see it at all.  I cant understand it.  They said slight anxiety for no more than 4 weeks.  mm ok then. 

 

Anyway I hope you have been ok I feel like I havent offered much support lately I just havent felt well enough.  I try to focus on welcoming the new people as I know how frightening it is when you first join and you feel like there is no hope.

 

Anyway please take care of yourself Im thinking of you.

 

Lizzy

hey Sally  Im going home on Friday clearly not better but seriously I dont want to stay here any longer as beautiful as the enviroment is I want some normality.  Whatever that may be.  Im doing ok just wish the doctors would acknowledge the withdrawal they just dont see it at all.  I cant understand it.  They said slight anxiety for no more than 4 weeks.  mm ok then. 

Anyway I hope you have been ok I feel like I havent offered much support lately I just havent felt well enough.  I try to focus on welcoming the new people as I know how frightening it is when you first join and you feel like there is no hope.Anyway please take care of yourself Im thinking of you.

Lizzy

 

Glad you're going home Friday Lizzy .  Let me guess, they'll start throwing antidepressants at you next, saying that it's really your personality disorder, you can't possibly be having any withdrawal due to our methods!  GABA down regulation and discontinuation syndrome is not something that is curable in one month, plain and simple.  It will take months for your GABA to repair itself.  It will be up to you whether you want to add any medications to take the edge off the blues and anxiety.  One problem with adding more meds is that you then don't know if its side effects from the meds or the "withdrawal" to explain any new symptoms.  How are you sleeping now?

 

Vertigo

hey Sally

 

Im going home on Friday clearly not better but seriously I dont want to stay here any longer as beautiful as the enviroment is I want some normality.  Whatever that may be.  Im doing ok just wish the doctors would acknowledge the withdrawal they just dont see it at all.  I cant understand it.  They said slight anxiety for no more than 4 weeks.  mm ok then. 

 

Anyway I hope you have been ok I feel like I havent offered much support lately I just havent felt well enough.  I try to focus on welcoming the new people as I know how frightening it is when you first join and you feel like there is no hope.

 

Anyway please take care of yourself Im thinking of you.

 

Lizzy

 

Hi Lizzy,

 

Don't you worry about being supportive to me.  I'm fine honey.    You are giving me support in your way, just being where I can see your postings and now know you are safe and healing has my heart happy.  So give help where you feel up to it, it is good that you are welcoming neebies.

 

I'm glad you are ready to go back home.  You will be fine. Yes life will be up and down but you have been through worse. Being back with your boys will give you the strength to get thru the hard days. The dark days will grow fewer and you will have more good days than dark. Just remember my postings over these months Lizzy, you have seen them - seen how deep down I was, how panicked and desperate to how I am having good windows now.  Yes Lizzy you will get here too.

 

Don't worry about the drs, I know what you mean about them, everyone seems to be in the same boat with drs. Every now and then we find one that will listen and read the Ashton Manual, etc. Even if they understand we still have to go thru this. I know I have been trying to find one that could verify this and help me. Only time helps us and having BBs to talk us thru this.

 

Will be back to check on you later,

love 

Sally

 

PS - You are sounding better Lizzy 

I'd say that acute withdrawal was around 4-6 weeks for me. 

Hi Lizzy, let me see?

 

I could not sleep for more then 1 hour in 24 for about 3 months, then I gradually improved. Now i can sleep a full 5hours.

I had bad head pressure, and a swirling in my neck and head for about 6 months. That is gone now. It went away very slowly.

I had a severe skin sensitivity. Everything that touched me, made me jump, even the covers. I am still a bit sensitive but not so bad, except me feet. I guess it was t he worst for aboiut 9 months.

 

I had internal vibrations and shakiness. That was very bad for a year. I still feel some of that, but i can tolerate it ok. If i am not tired and try to sleep, I cant lay there.

 

I am still twitchy and jumpy, and that started at about 6 months off.

 

I am so happy to be off that stuff. Healing goes so slowly.

 

good healing, fair winds

 

If you're strong enough to write your symptoms down, why not write them down and give it to them in writing. 3 months from now they won't be able to say that you never told them. Just a thought