A window but still a down day

Last night I took exactly half of my starting dose of Temazepam. , that is a milestone I  should be celebrating and I am in a window of NO symptoms right now after a wave of 3 days of my worst symptoms insomnia, heaviness in my thigh muscles, left eye twitching, blurring of vision in the evening,  and the horrid elephant on my chest feeling that stops me from taking a deep breath.

Anyway, although I am getting some relief I read about all the folks struggling with severe withdrawal and post withdrawal symptoms that have been on benzos for  a short time and are struggling, omg , I have been on this poison for so long and I just pray to God I will not be one of the protracted sufferers and suffer this hell for years as I don't have that many good years left!!!.I love the window and take all the deep breaths I can thinking  it will not last but hoping it will.

My symptoms are in a predictable  cluster with  waves that so far have no pattern that I can find in my journal, not related to taper or  anxiety, just come and go.I can be doing the most mundane, boring of chores and they will hit me, or I can be in a very stressful environment and feel somewhat anxious and the wave stays away, I would like it to be more predictable so I might be able to avoid triggers but I guess that's the way it is for me. I will continue to enjoy this window and try not to dwell on the hell that usually follows and try my best to stay positive and repeat what always get me through, "This too shall pass" I am going out for a long walk with my dogs to enjoy the day and breath in the scents of spring and not dwell on the what ifs, not easy to do on this journey. Ladygrace