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Any life insights coming out of wd?


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I was wondering what you may have noticed as a positive experience or positive learning lesson coming out of withdrawal?

 

For example, this is definitely teaching me patience, I also have become much more aware of mortality as a reality than as an idea, and value what really counts (for me it is family and relationship) much more than before. I never really noticed how precious it was to have good health until I lost it, now I see it is the most valuable thing in life. Anyone else?

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Many, many things

 

Top 5

 

I can't run on fumes. I need a gentle allowing to rest when needed and not feel guilty.

Friends here are priceless and must be handled with care and nurturing

I'm older than I thought I was (lol) I still feel 30 in my head

Life is finite. I'm not immortal. It's important to make good choices from here out.

Things don't just wait for me - I have to expend effort where important, like with family.

 

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Many, many things

 

Top 5

 

I can't run on fumes. I need a gentle allowing to rest when needed and not feel guilty.

Friends here are priceless and must be handled with care and nurturing

I'm older than I thought I was (lol) I still feel 30 in my head

Life is finite. I'm not immortal. It's important to make good choices from here out.

Things don't just wait for me - I have to expend effort where important, like with family.

 

Good list Fliprain! I also think we shouldn't feel guilty that we can't do everything like we could before (for now). No matter how much everyone else thinks we should be able to do we have to say no every now and then to make sure we're not pushing it too much during w/d.

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The only insight I've gotten from withdrawals is that I now understand what it is to be an addict. I also have learned to not look down on people who attempt or commit suicide. No worries...I'm not suicidal (yet). If I do get to that point I'll go back on benzos.
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What I found is that money really doesn't matter (really) - health, family and friends do.

 

I will look differently at people who are suffering from mental or physical illness and never take anything for granted.

 

Ellen

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I've learned to question/be more aware of everything I put in my body, be it food, medicine, whatever.  I know before this if the doctor prescribed me something, I took it.  Now...I read all the information, do a ton of research, weigh risks against benefits...and then decide.  Obviously if I needed medicine for a serious, life-threatening illness or something like that I would take it, but I now know pills aren't always the answer.  I'm also a lot more aware of my diet and try to eat much cleaner than I used to, and I've become really hyperaware of the poor eating habits of some of my peers (I'm in my 20s, so you can imagine what a lot of the "favorite foods" are!)
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[c0...]

Benzo withdrawal is a metaphor for life. Its very unpredictable and you cannot control it.

 

It has taught me to go with the flow, live in the present moment and just accept what comes my way.

 

I used to try and control my life and my surroundings. I dont have the need to do this anymore and for that I am grateful.  :)

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The number one thing that I am thankful for with this journey, is that my daughter will never have to go through it.  She has learned so much by watching me...and I now have a whole new perspective of prescribed medication.  We now fight colds without running to the doctor - garlic and apple cider vinegar are always in stock in our home.  My daughter has also learned so much empathy during this.  She is only 8, but has handled this experience w/ so much maturity.

 

I've always been patient...I thought...but this has taught me MAJOR patience. 

 

I've learned to not rush life.  If something can't happen today, that's okay.  In the past, if I wanted something, I wanted it NOW...now I don't think like that.  I am happy with a slower pace.

 

Like AJ said, I respect what I put into my body more than ever.  My diet has changed drastically and I am SO happy about it.  Even my husband appreciates it.  My daughter loves the food we eat and it was an easy transition for her thankfully.

 

Great thread...it's so important to look at the good that comes out of bad!

 

Hugs,

Schatje

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When I found out exactly what I had been taking for 6 years and c/t and then began a taper.  I talked extensively to my two oldest kids about never taking benzo's.  It is set up that in the event of my death ...my 2 oldest kids will care for my youngest daughter who is autistic.  Stressed it to them to not allow a doctor to give her any benzo (yes, some doctors treat autism with benzo's) for any reason. 

 

My son (17 yrs old at the time) became 'sick' ..couldn't figure out what was going on in Jan., Feb., and March.  Took him to many doctor appts and E.R.  Everything he complained of sounded like benzo withdrawl to me.  Kept thinking that either I was over analyzing this withdrawal or he was having sympathy pains with me.  All of his tests came back good.  He finally admitted to me that he had been taking xanax for 6+ months, at high doses.  Told me that when he seen me going through withdrawal and all of what I said to him and his sister about benzo's ... it scared him and he c/t because he didn't want to go through what I was.  Of course was very disappointed in the choice he made to take 'street' drugs.  However, so very thankful that he paid attention and did stop taking xanax.  He suffered panic attacks for 3 months among other symptoms but is doing just fine now.  Very thankful that he did not continue on that path and certain that he is now literally terrified to take any benzo.

 

Autism and benzo withdrawal are 2 separate issues but now I can better relate to my daughter.  Her cns has been compromised since day 1 and I never truly understood when she would say "those lights hurt my eyes and head" ..."that sound hurts my ears and head"..etc.  Now I think I understand autism on a whole new level.  Always tried to make her life more comfortable and protect her from the 'world' ...but now see that all of these years, I failed my child miserably and that has changed.  I'm thankful to experience this because now I believe I can make a true difference in her life and help make her more comfortable. 

 

I keep reminding myself of my son and youngest daughter when the symptoms begin to kick me in the teeth.  Also thankful because I'm certain that oldest daughter will never touch a benzo after watching her brother and I.

Therefore, it will go down the line to my granchildren ..through my children.  That's a lot to be thankful for.

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[b5...]

Benzo withdrawal is a metaphor for life. Its very unpredictable and you cannot control it.

 

It has taught me to go with the flow, live in the present moment and just accept what comes my way.

 

I used to try and control my life and my surroundings. I dont have the need to do this anymore and for that I am grateful.  :)

 

Wow you are SO RIGHT.  This was (still kinda is???) my BIGGEST PROBLEM in life....ACCEPTANCE of the crappy stuff & always wanting to CHANGE IT, being so (perhaps too???) diligent.  Also having Faith & Trusting, despite what the hideous circumstances look like.  LETTING GO of what you want & ACCEPTING what is....soooo easier said than done!!! I've learnt TEMPORARY acceptance thus far I suppose...I have certainly learnt I CANNOT control this AT ALL well early on.  Our brains/bodies have their OWN AGENDA & time frame for healing....I am still trying to find ways to shortcut the healing process though & trying to share my ground-breaking tips with others in the hopes that one day, my notes will be of major help to alleviating others suffering so hideously behind me...

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I better appreciate things I once took for granted. Very basic things that every human should have.

 

Also I'm glad I have to stop drinking for a year or so. I truly believe drinking alcohol is an awful idea when you aren't doing well.

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* I didn't mean to and I didn't like the part of myself that would judge others. that was one part of myself I wished to change and viola! I'm changed! I don't judge others anymore. it is amazing how sick people can get. physically and mentally.

*I lernt that I am not in control. I still struggle with that one as I control my diet left and right.

* don't take medicine and don't trust anyone. that takes me right back to control.

*there is no rainbow at the end of the journey sometime in the future. be present in this moment. mindfulness

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To be compassionate with others even if I don't understand what they are experiencing.  Those that were kind to me and made me feel like I had value through this have elevated ten fold in my eyes.  Their kindness helped me find way on the toughest days.

 

To not worry over things I can not really control.  I used to require certainty or a plan for everything.  If I couldn't have that I would dwell, ruminate and worry.  I sometimes think I missed this lesson many times and I had to have this experience to truly change and let go and accept.  I think this is what patience is.

 

To find my own voice and live on purpose.  Put time and effort into the things that really matter to me (NOW) . . . my family, my health, my spirituality.  Those are the things that have supported me and made me push to find my way.  They are the only things that truly matter.  I am going to put my energy into growing those things; not my ego or my fears.

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To be ever so thankful for emotional, mental & physical health.

...ditto. 

 

...to research any drug the doctor might recommend and see if there's a natural way to tackle the problem...and then do it, even if it means dreaded diet and exercise...

 

Challis http://i358.photobucket.com/albums/oo29/pigletmph/zadiffgrouphug.gif

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I relate to my world differently. Today I was standing outside in my garden and it is all overgrown.  It does not look like the same place I've lived in for 25 years. I like well manicured lawn.  I can take a deep breath and relax. the past few years I have done my best but nature is taking over. I closed my eyes and felt nature all around me and the sudden realization that I am not fighting it anymore. what I releif. I do the same with my housework. this benzo nightmare has cured me of my type-A personality tendancies. I let things go because I have to but then I see everything survived without my taking so much care of it. I still prefere a well manicured landscape but I will enjoy others efforts. I have come to love my home and garden even though it is wild/natural and lived in. my priorities have changed. once I would nag my husband to do this and that but now I just want him to be healthy and happy. I don't want anyone to suffer. I have a whole new appreciation for suffering.
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I love the responses to this post and I can relate to alot of them.

One of the most important things I've learned is deep compassion for others and not to judge. As I went through the s/x in early withdrawal, I began to really get that sometimes people's actions are based on neurotransmitter deficiencies. Today, I know that people are doing the best that they can.

Additionally, I am learning to be gentle and kind to myself. I am setting boundaries with  others who expect too much and push too hard. I have a type A personality too and putting these things into practice is new for me.

I  already knew these things intellectually as I took several years of counseling courses. Withdrawal has given me compassion and understanding on a much deeper level. 

Ali   

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You said everything. Benzos made me appreciate health and small things in life. I think it also made me a better and more understanding person than I was before.
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