i missed out on my 40,s so far becouse of wd

I have to admit that I am not gettin any younger,I just turned 43 and life is passing me by,I should have friends and a social life,I do have my boyfriend who loves and adores me and my mom and 1 friend downstairs who has herown mental health issues,I am jelous becouse my sister has a life and I don,t and she rubbed it in my face ahen I told her off 2 weeks ago becouse I was depressed and feelin so antisocial,u name it,I pretty much have lost family becouse of wd and not to mention I am near menopause. I thought I was 41 months out but I am really 34 mdonths out,becouse I last had a benzo in oct 2008 not april 2008,plus I took lunesta from april till 2010! I feel like I just don,t want to do anything anymore or even socialize exept for my boyfriend and my mom,life is passing me by and I am scared! I was laughing last year and now I can,t even laugh! It,s just not there anymore. I am a empty shell. Angel.  :(

 

I know you feel this way now because of withdrawal but you ARE still young and have many many years to live a healthy drug free life, it takes time, you will recover. I missed out on my 40s and 50s because of these benzos and alcohol and I am now realizing in my 60s that for the rest of my life, no matter how long that life  might be, I want it to be drug free, I am in withdrawal now and I am  suffering but keep the end goal in mind and try to take one day at a time to get there. I no  longer want life to pass me by as it did on drugs and alcohol, oh, I thought it wasnt at the time, I was the life of the party, what I could remember of those parties!!! Please try to remember that even though you dont feel young , you are, and you are very smart and have chosen the best path, wish I been wise like you at that age and realized what these drugs could do to me. take care Ladygrace

Oh thank u! U might be givin me to much credit though,my docter forced me off against my will,and I took klonopin 4 16 years and and I hardly tapered,she wanted me off within a month! I said could u at least give me another month,well apparently,that extra month didn,t do no good,I tapered for 7 weeks and then one day I started to totally lose it little be little,then I started hullucinate and I was crawling out of my skin so bad that I needed to call an ambulance,and the guy in the back was rude to me and tellin me it was my fault! I think it was becouse,I caledd 2 in the morning and he didn,t want to get off his lazy ass and work! I didn,t know what to say back becouse I couldn,t talk back,I was so ill. I am still on some non benzo meds,tegretol and remeron,plus 2 prns atarax and seroquel,my wd was so severe and I needed something to help me along. I would like to get off all of them,but I don,t want to have another breakdown as I have an underlying depression,anxiety and panic,mood disorder be4 I took pills.  Angel

I've missed out on every day of my thirties so far with no end in sight.

Isn,t this awful? Don,t u think our docters should pay? The doc that put me on is deceased,he was old when he put me on in 92. So other docters in my agency took over and a lot of them were idiots! The docter that took me off my klon,just left so now I gotta deal with a new doc and this time I am gonna say it like it is!  Angel

I'm angry with doctors and drug companies alike. 

I know what you mean.  I've lost 6 years to benzos so far and I'm still tapering so who knows how many more years will pass me by.

I hope that one day I can let go of the sadness and anger.

 

Hand in there.

 

You're not alone.

 

I too, have much unresolved anger towards my Drs for putting me into this mess for 13 long years. I missed out on my entire 30's and never had children because  I was way over medicated. I can feel your pain! I hope you start feeling better too and will recover. We all will recover someday!

Wow. Age is such a big issue.  We are unhappy when we are in our 20's because our childhood sucked, and in our thirties we are mad because we haven't written a bestselling novel or won a Grammy(-:.  I obsess over my age all the time too.  But I read a letter that my grandmother wrote and put in the mail the same day she died (ironically she was on Valium but no one really knew about how hard it is on the heart then). Anyway she was in a lot of pain but she wrote,"Lord my legs are hurting me, I have my hand bandaged up because I caught a hook in it from fishing, BUT I thank him for the good days AND the bad days-because they are MINE and he gave them to ME" Now I am almost a atheist so I'm not pushing the religious aspect here of that comment but the rational outlook-we WANT so much we forget to HAVE. I hope this comment is not mistaken as being a slap on the hand for good ol fashion complaining(I believe in complaining and I do it on a regular basis as a matter of fact-just like eating frosting straight out of the can), but more of an attempt to put a smile on your face because I'm jealous of YOU because you have a sister-I ALWAYS wanted a sister to be jealous of or anything of for that matter. And you are making huge changes that are going to help people after you! So hang in there it gets better!!!!

I have a sister through my parents,mentally and emotionally,I never had one,if u know what I mean. I mind as well consider myself without one becouse I am. Angel

Hi Angel, wow I know how you feel. It takes someone else telling me that what I'm doing is huge before I accept it myself. So let me be the one to tell you that what you are doing is huge! You don't have to go off these pills and be drug free, but you are. This may not be something we can post on facebook like buying a new house or having more babies, but it's a big deal on the level of our spirit and character. I'm 33 have no career, no children, and also a disfunctional faimly; including a millionair brother who nit picks my life. It took a 12 step group to help me be ok with me, and I'm still not 100% there. Comparing ourselves to others is our first big mistake. Second we need to go easy on ourselves because the world won't. What's wrong with being a hermit for awhile? ( this is what I tell myself ) This too shall pass.

Hi jillian,I am not completely drug free,I wish,I am still on tegretol and remeron,I have been on these for many years now,and I am afraid to taper right now as I am still not well. I use seroquel and atarax as a prn,but I mostly take the atarax when needed,I am trying not to take seroquel unless I need to,to function,maybe this is why I,m still sick? I had a long 16 years addiction to klon,and I did abuse it. My doc ripped me off in march 08. Ugh! Now I got no life hardly. Ugh!  Angel