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Online Support....Can it make things worse?


[KR...]

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I guess i just wanted to post this in regards to some of the things Ive read on line while in withdrawl. I believe it creates ALOT more fear and anxiety than needed. Lets just say you never read it and went about your day doing some positive self talking and reassuring yourself that your going to be fine. Would your mind be alot clearer from the pain and suffering you just read about for the last 2 hours on the computer. Hell Yes!!Sometimes I read into someones posts and start thinking could that be me? What if i get that? Or I know I'm super screwed now. Then i start comparing my withdrawl to their withdrawl. The next thing you know I'm dwelling about things I would never of thought up in my life. I mean racing thoughts are bad enough without all the stuff I expose myself to on line. Then to top it off you will post something and you get respones from certain people that you have no idea of their past medical history. You don't know them at all. Like what meds their were on, if there still on meds, or lets say their still on other psych meds and just don't want to tell you because they think people will look down on them. Their really just some screen name telling you whats up. You have NO idea if these people are telling you the truth about anything. Just because their Sig line says one thing doesn't mean its even close to whats really going on. Yet we let them give us advise about what we should do. Or how things are going to go down. Crazy as that sounds . People do it. And they BELIEVE it. Happens to people everyday. Some of the stuff Ive been told on line has scared the hell out of me. Did the things ever happen? NOPE!! Not even close.. But I sure thought they were going to. All because I exposed myself to it. Ive seen people get WAY worse from having this happen to them. The reason I bring this up is because No withdrawl is the same. And the bottom line is you don't know what people are doing on the other side of the computer in there personal life that's effecting their withdrawl in one way or another. You don't know why their story is unfolding the way it is. It could be anything. I think everyone needs to be VERY cautious about what you read into and what you take serious. And what you even let your brain read while going through this process. Because if your having a tuff withdrawl. And many are. You don't need to be flooding your brain with a bunch of negative info and topic lines that you shouldn't be exposing yourself to in the first place. It can make a bad withdrawl WAY worse. And really it may just make you feel like your alot worse than you really are and take you down the wrong path. I know everyone says to distract. But there are alot of healthy ways to do it that wont scare the hell out of you. Theirs plenty of positive info to read on line. But there is alot of alot of negative stuff as well that will stick to you like glue. I guess this is just something I wanted to throw out their. I hope everyone has contined healing and progress. Be safe!

 

Rock

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I think everyone is different. 

Some might be negatively affected by reading certain posts in which case it might me a good idea to focus on reading success stories or take a break from the forum.

However, I have found the people here to be very helpful.  I think it can be very helpful to support each other and share thoughts while going through this difficult process.

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KRock I agree with you, there can be so many things that can really scare us around here.

 

I see you have gone through hell your self and reinstated and it was worse the second time?

 

Are you ok now?

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Krock,

 

I agree. You pretty much hit it on the dot. I do not mind helping out where and when I can. I think that yes, there is a time to go on... the fact is we get better in the future.. as time goes. The symptoms' (Plural) can be battling, but just have to keep moving on. If you are feeling well.. I say go out and take a walk.. well, you are working which is a positive thing to do and a good step forward. It helps not set at the house all day wondering and worrying about withdrawal. If you are in a good window.. I say leave the computer and go out and do something productive for yourself. You make alot of good points. I feel as though this experience makes us stronger all in the end anyway.

There was one lady here.. Thunder.. she got off the Benzo and said, "I feel better and more alert now". She just went on about her business.. which is a good step forward. I have symptoms'.. plenty of them, but just have to let the brain take its course in healing. That is all one can do, have faith it happens and start living.

Thanks for your post, Billy.

 

Just keep going and hang in there.

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I think it can definitely make things worse or help...depending on the person and the situation.

 

Personally, it is comforting to find that others are going through similar experiences as you and that you are not going crazy.  But at the same time, the horror stories of long withdrawals scare me. I use the sites more to research and ask about my symptoms than to read things in general as I don't want to scare myself unnecessarily.

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Yes Rock you do make some valid points however these forums do help to provide positive support for many people.  When I first c/t after what will be in May 13 years of Benzo and Z-drug use I thought I was going mad.  I only took these meds for insomnia and figured when I stopped I would suffer a few days rebound insomnia and then be A-OK.  Anxiety, depression, Ataxia,DP, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks had never and I repeat never occurred in my life (all 51 years of it) before.  I was not a member of any forum and nor had I bothered to read up on Benzo w/d afterall that was my GP or psychiatrists job -Right?  Wrong!!! I was just told to stop taking them and take these Seroquel tablets and you will be fine. Not only did I get mentally challenged I became physically ill - ended up weighing 45kg (99lbs) having lost 15kgs in 6 weeks because I could not eat anything and what I did eat gave me chronic diahorrrible ee.  I have never spent a day ill in 21 years prior to that I know because my eldest son is 21.  I became a blithering blundering psychotic mess.

It was only after 4 months that I found these "virtual buddies" and realized heck this is normal, it is withdrawal. Initially some of the stories did scare me but I know we are all individuals and everybody's history is different and reading these stories does NOT have to become a self fulfilling prophercy.  It is however reassuring to know you are not entirely alone during this process and have others to spring ideas, suggestions and tips off.  Heck the Insomnia Board has been an amazing crutch for me and the fact that I keep reading that it does improve inspires me with hope not fear.

Withdrawals ARE horrible (read your signature) but misery loves company and yes we have the best of both world's here - the misery and company.  But most of us aspire to the "all this will pass" and I am 100% sure every BB wants to write a success story eventually. 

 

 

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mmgc... I agree with you. Talking to POSITIVE people while going thru this process is the best. That's why i stated theres plenty of positive info to read on line on the bottom of my post. But theres a flip side to everything. Sometimes during this were not coherent enough to separate the good from the bad if you know what I mean. We are very vulnerable during this. I hope you continue to have a safe and healthy taper.

 

milan187... Ive been through it all when it comes to this withdrawl deal. And then some. I didn't think I would live though part of it. But i did. I'm still dealing with some symptoms. But I guess its par for course based on the way I detoxed myself. As far as my second time around. I only reinstated for 3 weeks. I got really sick. So not fun. Thought I was done. But it was a chapter in this deal I self blame myself for and I need to keep looking forward. I went about this all wrong. But I cant do anything about it now. I'm SO thankful for some of the friends Ive met on here. I would be screwed without them. But on the same token Ive seen alot of stuff on here that I wished I haven't if you know what I mean. Keep close to positive people you trust.

 

Hey Billy.. Long time no talk. I'm so glad you completed your taper. Ive been watching you deal with that monster for over a year and a half back when we met. Well the only thing to do is hang on now. No more cuts ect. Just check the days off the calender. Distrating is so important. I still struggle with this but i do my best. This whole experience is no joke. Keep your head up and think of sunny days ahead. I have to be reminded of this everyday on the phone so I don't fall off track. Cool avatar. Take care buddy.

 

Rock

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Dear Krock,

 

Thank you very much for bringing up what I feel to be a very important aspect of online peer recovery.  I don't know how many times I have gone online, read something that I then personalized, and ended up feeling 100x worse.  This has then created a ripple down effect because then my loved ones are stuck with the task of providing me comfort and reassurance over something that I could have avoided in the first place.  All of this seems very crystal clear at the moment, but I know that I will do this again and again and again. 

 

On the other hand, I feel uplifted when I offer support to other members.  This allows me to get out of my head and feel connected to others.  This process is very isolating and extremely lonely as we trudge the roads in search of meaning and healing. 

 

I struggle with wanting to be a source of support and compassion, receive support and a sense of community with others, and find information.  The problem, however, occurs when I start comparing my length of time on the drug, the type of drug, and symptoms.  I literally can go from ultra calm to feeling completely overwhelmed and wondering if I will ever make it out alive.  My family becomes understandably upset when they once again hear from my lips that "I read such and such on BB".  I can see how this situation is really not sustainable for the long term and might undermine my recovery. 

 

Because I value my family's support and depend on them (and let's face it, they are the ones that provide me with any of my needs that I am currently unable to provide for myself), I think it time for me to broaden my horizons and limit my time online if I am unable to stop obsessing over every thing I read.  It's really my responsibility and in my own best interests and continued healing. 

 

Thank you again for this post.  :) Hugs, KL

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I completely agree.  Many people write on here when they are at their worst.  When you stop anti anxiety medication, you get rebound anxiety.  This rebound anxiety can manifest itself into symptoms of many different anxiety disorders.  Hypochondria, agoraphobia, OCD, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and specific phobias.  The only thing that makes these situations worse is reinforcement.  By constantly checking the support section, you not only reinforce your own anxiety symptoms but you will start to develop what's called anticipatory anxiety.  You begin to anticipate the onset of symptoms that may never materialize in your specific set of circumstances.  Thereby, you will begin to expect them or even believe that you have them as a result. 

 

There are many people who are experiencing withdrawal on their own.  They have little or no support around them.  This is obviously why people join these boards.  The problem is that the negativity far outweighs the positivity in the stories you read.  This leads to a constantly perpetuating circle of negative reinforcement.  This is the exact reason why those who have successfully overcome benzo withdrawal instruct us to stay active and focus on only positive situations.  This is easier said then done in many circumstances when people are not able to be as active as they would like.  However, the point is still valid.  You have to believe you will get better in order to do so.

 

To reiterate Krock's point, no two withdrawals are the same.  Neither are the methods in getting off these medications.  Not everyone will have success in the Ashton/Valium method.  She herself states that this may not be the best way to withdrawal from benzos.  It worked for many of her patients in her clinic in Oldham.  However, we have access to compounding pharmacies and liquid versions of all the benzos today.  Valium has the ability to cause severe depression.  Withdrawal itself is known to cause its own levels of depression.  Because of this potentially negative combination, the type of medication you taper from is far more important of a decision then the speed in my opinion.

 

The importance of this forum is significant but so are the responsibilities of the members using it.  Since you do not know the exact circumstances of the people you are advising, it's best to limit that advice to moral support and not prescriptive or suggestive interference. 

 

Christopher 

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Hey Mr Rock..

 

I havent been on here much lately but I still do read from time to time. I really have to say this has been very much real to me..As you know I have had a go at my w/d alone for 7 months ..Reason I did that is because I was learning everything I read was comeing to LIFE.. I didnt know what was wrong with me I just knew I wasnt haveing full control on what was running through my mind..

At month 7 I joined BB and I am so Grateful I did. I met the best of friends on here as you know very well. But I was learning quiet quickly that Negitive feeds Negitive..Vise versa. I am huge person on Energy and I believe during this w/d it can be very scary as to what we allow in our minds.We spend so much time during this year discussing this subject Alot.. I like that what you wrote and what you said because I have seen you fight so hard and be so Possitive in such a very Blinding and Scary process.It is true we are so Vulnarble in this w/d that its very easy to get sucked into whatever we expose ourselfs to. Im just so thankful you have always stayed Possitive and keep moveing straight thru this road and never looking back. For me I love that there are people here who can validate and Justify what were go thru that helped me.. But the absolutle most important was to stay Possitive and keep ur mind Flowing in the rt direction.. No Matter What.. You know me Rock I say Stick with whoever you trust and feel comfort in and know this Ride Ends and all function Resumes Normalcy... Life gets so good again. And you become stronger and happier then you could ever imagine.

 

Your Most Proudest Friend ~ Jenny

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Hey Gardenia... Long time no talk. Ive missed you as well. So glad your pushing thru this deal. Cold turkey is no joke as you are seeing. But then again tapering isn't either from what i can see on this site. It all sucks no matter how we look at it. I hope you are seeing some relief. This is a slow boat to the finish line for sure. Sure wish it wasn't. I hope your staying in touch with all the people that are important to you thru this journey. Your a hell of a fighter.

 

meeee... I agree with you on what your saying. I'm just pointing out there is 2 sides to every coin. This site has given us all the validation that we need to get thru this. Its let us know that were not crazy and "This to shall pass". But the misery enjoys company deal is OK at first. Until you realize what its doing to you. There are plenty of  good positive people to talk to on here. And theres alot of stuff I feel people should keep clear of. But that's just me. I use to be on here 24/7. To scared to log off. But Ive also learned alot along the way on what is good and bad. I was freaking myself out over everything I was reading. Ive also let the people I talk to that have made it thru this mess guide me in the right direction on the do's and dont's. I try and stay in touch with people that are healed. Their the ones that can push you thru the storm. Sorry you went thru a C/T. I know the suffering is immense. But you seem to have the right outlook to see things thru. Just stay on course. I have someone that I met on here that helps me do this everyday that I'm so blessed to have. But in the end the only one that Can get you thru this is you. And your doing a great job at it. But this is why you need all the positive energy that you can harness. Energy is a hard thing to come by while going thru this nightmare. Just a tip a thought i would throw at ya. Keep up the great job.

 

Rock

 

 

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I think KRock makes a valid point. I think all sides have been represented well on this thread. Online support is not for everyone. Ideally, we would have the support of family and friends and the medical community. Unfortunately, all too often that's not the case when it comes to benzo withdrawal. For some, this is the only support they have in their lives and they depend on it.

 

Having said that, we always need to take everything we read on the net with a grain of salt. No one ever truly understands anyone's motivation when they post something online but for the most part our members just want off these medications and need support from others who understand.

 

We can't dispense medical advice here and no one should and no one should take any medical advice offered by another member. We are a support group. We are here to help others who are feeling the, often frightening, effects of benzo withdrawal.

 

Online support groups aren't for everyone. You need to decide for yourself if this kind of support is helping you or hurting you.

 

I'm glad you started this thread, KRock.

 

 

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I wondered the same many times.  I go to a 'live' support group where those coming off of benzos or who have come off have not had such bad times.  The support group was formed through our doctor.  He asked us to partake in the group to talk about our experiences coming off. 

 

One group member feels so much better off the benzos after long term use.

Another is coming off and feeling better the lower he goes.

As is with me ~ feeling good the lower I go.

 

The anticipatory anxiety is THE WORST.  I know I have worked myself up needlessly because of having read something here when someone is at the same point in their taper as I was.  If I didn't experience the same sx's, I imagined I did after reading theirs.  Catch-22.  Need support.  Reading support feeds the beast.

 

However the upside is that we do feel sxs and that is validated.  People who haven't a clue, don't believe us. 

 

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I've written several posts on this topic before.

 

In my case, I think I was giving myself MORE anxiety in the beginning about w/d because of all the horror stories on here.

 

It's like a hypochondriac googling symptoms online.... Not a good idea. lol. A bat habit.

 

Sometimes I feel like this can sometimes, in my case, be a bad habit...

 

When we dwell, we dwell... it doesnt matter how we do it. And dwelling is not a good thing.

 

This site though can be great for some people though!!

 

But I totally hear ya. =) Any time I mention the forum to my wife, or my mother or family, they always say "get off of that...". Sometimes I get a little offensive, but then again I know where they are coming from.

 

Hang in there yall. =)

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Hi Krock  :)  Good to see you posting.

 

As far as online support, I think I was fortunate not to even think the words "benzo withdrawal" until I was a couple months off everything.  I may not have been able to achieve what I did if I read about all the horrible things that could happen.  It probably would have stalled my progress in tapering because of fear and confusion.  In my case, ignorance was bliss and I just did what I had to do.

 

I still remember the immense relief I felt when I first did have those words pop in my head and did a google search and found what I did.  To be validated about all I was going thru was priceless.  As usual, there is an upside and a downside to everything ... that is the nature of the duality in which we live.  I will be eternally grateful for Benzo Support Forums especially the chat room feature.  Hope they bring that back for people to hang-out in.  It was a life-saver for me for the first year off.  It got me out of myself with laughter and supporting others.  I am so grateful that that was available to me.  Of course the other upside to a forum is the wonderful people I met ... like yourself.

 

I sure hope that things are lightening up for you my friend.  I'm doing so much better now ... thank God.  :)

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Hi Krock  :)  Good to see you posting.

 

As far as online support, I think I was fortunate not to even think the words "benzo withdrawal" until I was a couple months off everything.  I may not have been able to achieve what I did if I read about all the horrible things that could happen.  It probably would have stalled my progress in tapering because of fear and confusion.  In my case, ignorance was bliss and I just did what I had to do.

 

I still remember the immense relief I felt when I first did have those words pop in my head and did a google search and found what I did.  To be validated about all I was going thru was priceless.  As usual, there is an upside and a downside to everything ... that is the nature of the duality in which we live.  I will be eternally grateful for Benzo Support Forums especially the chat room feature.  Hope they bring that back for people to hang-out in.  It was a life-saver for me for the first year off.  It got me out of myself with laughter and supporting others.  I am so grateful that that was available to me.  Of course the other upside to a forum is the wonderful people I met ... like yourself.

 

I sure hope that things are lightening up for you my friend.  I'm doing so much better now ... thank God.  :)

 

Hi whoopsie,

I agree because when you are going thru this and been told by "professional" oh you will be OK ::)

and then see you ARENT it does help coming here and people tell yu it is normal thing to go thru and it will pass is very comforting.

 

Im having such trouble talking these days I am not sure if I could socialize ok with normal people :o

 

I have done it but it was no easy holding a conversation!! Lots of nice, understanding people here.

yes, some are having a hrd time but they also were put on dual meds, etc.

i just get scared when I see people 2 yr off and they still arent healed :o

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I tend to agree that coming here too often can lead to being obsessive about withdrawal symptoms. This forum can get addictive and that's not always a good thing. After the death of someone here on this forum (that we are not supposed to talk about) recently, I feel that I am going to take a little break from posting and reading here too. I am trying to stay in a positive frame of mind now and reading horror stories and how awful everyone is feeling everyday can tend to turn things in not so positive of a direction. I'll check in from time to time but I need a little break to focus on things non-benzo w/d related.

 

 

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Klonkers... I think you've done a great job supporting other members on this site. And I'm sure you've met many good friends that you love and trust. But I'm like you. If I log on and start reading something over and over I'm going to start buying into it. Period. I don't care how positive I was before I logged on. I will be straight freaked out by the time I log off. Its like some brainwashing that I do to myself. Weird stuff. I think I'm totally screwed half the time I get of off of here. I don't tell any of my family some of the horrible things that I just read. But I'm sure they can see the look of concern on my face. I mean what really jumps out to me is that everyone on here talks about what flares up their symptoms. What revs them up. People stop eating certain foods. They don't take this. They wont ever take any of that. No sugar. No caffeine. I mean they obsess over everything. Why don't they try not reading all the doom and gloom negative posts and see if that helps them. LOL. Nope!! They don't think that's a effecting them at all. I think I would rather drink 2 big bottles of Mt. Dew and eat a whole thing of ice cream than readsome of the stuff I do on line. And I would probably be less revved up at the end of the day by ingesting the caffeine and sugar. At least that stuff is somewhat comfort food. And I'm happy while I'm doing it. P.S. I tried the eating right during this and it didn't do a dam thing. LOL...Man I wish it would have. But staying away from all the negative BS has. Keep your positive attitude and family close by. When this ends they will be the ones you have to live and enjoy life with. Im sure by know you have a close knit circle of friends on here that will help you see this thru.

 

Rock

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ChristopherXII... Your one of the wiser people on this forum when it comes to withdrawl and the do' and dont's. Ive read a lot of your posts and rarely are you off mark when you reply to a topic. I think with all your knowledge and wisdom you should be able to walk through this storm easier than what other may experience. Keep on truckin man.

 

Koffklonopin.. Keep going to your 'Live" support groups. I always feel better talking to someone in person about withdrawl. At least I did when i was in rehab. I was talking/freaking out with a few other people detoxing off benzo's and it helped alot when we could communicate to each other in person about what we were feeling and thinking. Boy was that a mess. But like you said the anticipatory anxiety is just horrible. When you read that this is going to happen to you over and over as soon as you get off this crap its just maddening. Its like the D day countdown. In  all reality it might not be that bad of a jump if you didn't just read about 300 other people that said all hells going to break loose as soon as you do. LOL. Keep up the pace. Your doing great.

 

cnotr... Dude your avatar is the best. Talk about thinking happy thoughts and staying positive. I mean whats better than a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory avatar. Now your a person I would want in my corner while going through withdrawl. I like me some candy and chocolate. Nothin sad about that stuff. Stay positive and try not to dwell. Like the old saying goes. Dwell, dwell. Go to hell. Well lets hope not. LOL. Keep it real man.

 

Waz up Whoopsie doo... So glad you dropped a line. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to this. Your not the only one that has said this. Jaso19 didnt come to a forum until she was 7 months off her C/T. She said the same. Thank god she didn't know about half the stuff she's read on here. It could of really impacted how she thought of things and might of steered her else where. Sometimes knowing to much is the absolute worst thing when it comes to this. I mean once you know that its w/d. Please leave out all the other gory details until it passes. LOL. You are one tuff cookie. I respect everything you've been thru. Your a beaming light of hope for many.

 

cav500... Its funny you posted what you did because I was thinking the same thing when it came to the death of the fellow member of this forum. How funny it is that they don't want us talking about it yet they announce and post the obituary on this site for all to see. They did what they called "confirming the death." Somethings are better left unsaid when it comes to people dieing on a support group. I mean as if we all don't think that something bad is going to happen to us anyways. And here they come and throw it right in our face. It should have been handled a different way in my opinion. But hey, who am I. If this was an AIDS support group I'm sure they wouldn't be announcing all the people who recently died of AIDS across their boards. I mean it would scare the hell out of everyone with it and make them think their next. This was a true tragedy. I wish it had been kept from me so I wouldn't keep thinking about her face on her avatar. It has really thrown me for a loop. Talk about reading something on line thats not real postive. I know for a fact the other day I didnt log on here looking for support only to end up reading about death. Geez guys. Come on.

 

Rock

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I have found reading this thread very refreshing. The question posed has been bothering me for some time.

 

It is great that such discussion is 'allowed' here, as I come from a place where it certainly would have been frowned upon (I think) and people would have been getting PMs.

 

This was an opportune time for me as I have decided to leave BB for many of the reasons people have discussed. For example:

 

1. Lack of privacy - some of my posts from my old forum were put on the Cesspool site. I now check THAT daily and find things I have seen posted here only hours before. I dread the day I see mine. I changed my user name when I joined BB but someone outed me (not in any malicious way!) Holly's death was a shock to me and while I understand that her family was fine with the publicity I wonder if they know it is plastered all over 'that site'. I had spoken to her a couple of times and some of her medical history (not psychiatric) had similarities to mine so I was very upset (in a selfish way, I guess). I started thinking of all the 'what ifs'.

 

2. I believe I have a process addiction to the computer which is mentally and physically unhealthy. I cycle through email, Facebook and BB for hours on end. I will no doubt suffer withdrawal when I finish as my online friends from the other forum are here and I feel like I know them.

 

3. I am unwell and depressed. I feel better if I make myself go out into the real world (despite the anxiety) but am more comfortable sitting here in my mess, clacking away as it is my major area of communication. My home is a shambles and I can't seem to force myself to do anything about it. This is a stress in itself. Advice from faceless people is sometimes misleading for reasons others have mentioned above.

 

4. I think my relationship with my husband (who is in early retirement) is dwindling away as we live like 2 single people in a way. We love each other but this withdrawal has been a big strain on him as well as me. (Plus the effects of my ill health for many years before this.)

 

I have had my blog removed and I feel kind of sad. I looked at Benzo Exodus last night but it seems rather small (where BB is a bit big for me!) and I was shocked to see Mike59 there, posting like a meek little lamb! So I don't have a clue of what's going on there!

 

I really want to change my life, even if I am not yet stable (at 2.5mg Valium - down from 4-5mg Xanax =80-100mg Valium - less than 10mths ago - psychiatrist guided).

 

I am hoping this first step will help. Opinions welcome!

 

Xana (Golden Haired Poster Girl for Xanax No More)

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Jaso19..... I mean Jenny. LOL. You were one of the first people that told me not to read into what I see on line. You always stated to me that I have NO idea why people are withdrawling the way they are. So don't look to far into it. It could be various things that we will never know about. You always told me "You are not them" so it doesn't matter what their going thru. Its not you. Stay in the moment. You always down played the negatives and turned them into a positive for me. You were so point on when it came to all of it. Being able to draw energy and wisdom from a person such as yourself has been a true blessing for me. It never mattered how freaked out I was or how I kept saying Ive screwed myself up forever. You always reminded me that you were just like me at one point and "It does come to and end". Thanks for being one of my best friend in this journey they call Benzo withdrawl. I couldn't be where I am today with out your guidance and help. Your the best.

 

Friends Always, Rock

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Rock...I mean J...lol

 

I can not believe its been a year in March since we met ..And I watched every day what you had to fight thru and I am so Honored that you trusted me enough and allowed me to help you through this Journey.. I always tryed to give the best advise to you as if I would have given to myself.. I would never have given any advise to stear you in the wrong direction.. This w/d has so many levels to it and I just always tryed to keep you moveing foward.. I am so grateful One year is behind you and even when your still haveing trouble seeing thru you always managed to keep reaching for the possitive..Like there was something in you that wouldnt submit ..Amazing truely is what Ive seen you battle and still battle day in and day out..Your rt I did always say ..We dont know anyone elses deal..We just dont know. All I know is me and how and what worked to get me thru. And that was takeing nothing ..I was to afraid.lol. Vitamins reved me so I was just not willing to put anything in my system until I wasnt as sesitive.I think when reading other peoples storys and experiences we had to have Decernment.Were all diff ,Some drink herbal teas,some have some coctails ,Some may have other meds in the mix its all different. I just know one thing .If it feels bad stay away. If what your reading feels good and promiseing stick with that.Its good for the brain.But I agree with what you say J... Its like what we read takes on a Life of its own and causes such a unbelieveable amount of fear while in w/d.. In the same token ..If you allow possitive Strong Poweful words to enter you while in w/d it can help ease this experience a bit and before you know your at the finish line..

Keep doing exactly what your doing Rock Its working...:) I am just so Thankful I can say with Honesty and Conviction  this all comes to a end all of it ..

 

P.S.. Ill never forget all the help you gave me even while you were suffering so much.. Back at ya ..Your the best yourself ..I feel extremly Lucky and truely Blessed something amazing came out of the most extremly awful experience of my life...The best frienship Ever.

 

P.SS... Look at my new avatar isnt it so cute . Yay I like her ..LOL

Your friend always~Jenny

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I guess i just wanted to post this in regards to some of the things Ive read on line while in withdrawl. I believe it creates ALOT more fear and anxiety than needed. Lets just say you never read it and went about your day doing some positive self talking and reassuring yourself that your going to be fine. Would your mind be alot clearer from the pain and suffering you just read about for the last 2 hours on the computer. Hell Yes!!Sometimes I read into someones posts and start thinking could that be me? What if i get that? Or I know I'm super screwed now. Then i start comparing my withdrawl to their withdrawl. The next thing you know I'm dwelling about things I would never of thought up in my life. I mean racing thoughts are bad enough without all the stuff I expose myself to on line. Then to top it off you will post something and you get respones from certain people that you have no idea of their past medical history. You don't know them at all. Like what meds their were on, if there still on meds, or lets say their still on other psych meds and just don't want to tell you because they think people will look down on them. Their really just some screen name telling you whats up. You have NO idea if these people are telling you the truth about anything. Just because their Sig line says one thing doesn't mean its even close to whats really going on. Yet we let them give us advise about what we should do. Or how things are going to go down. Crazy as that sounds . People do it. And they BELIEVE it. Happens to people everyday. Some of the stuff Ive been told on line has scared the hell out of me. Did the things ever happen? NOPE!! Not even close.. But I sure thought they were going to. All because I exposed myself to it. Ive seen people get WAY worse from having this happen to them. The reason I bring this up is because No withdrawl is the same. And the bottom line is you don't know what people are doing on the other side of the computer in there personal life that's effecting their withdrawl in one way or another. You don't know why their story is unfolding the way it is. It could be anything. I think everyone needs to be VERY cautious about what you read into and what you take serious. And what you even let your brain read while going through this process. Because if your having a tuff withdrawl. And many are. You don't need to be flooding your brain with a bunch of negative info and topic lines that you shouldn't be exposing yourself to in the first place. It can make a bad withdrawl WAY worse. And really it may just make you feel like your alot worse than you really are and take you down the wrong path. I know everyone says to distract. But there are alot of healthy ways to do it that wont scare the hell out of you. Theirs plenty of positive info to read on line. But there is alot of alot of negative stuff as well that will stick to you like glue. I guess this is just something I wanted to throw out their. I hope everyone has contined healing and progress. Be safe!

 

Rock

 

I agree with this side of the story.  This was encouraging to read and I have no doubt that most of what you said is true to a large degree.  Thanks for what you have written here.  It is very positive and gives much light to those like me who definitely get really down sometimes from reading things on forums like this one.

 

I also believe there is another side of the story.  The side of the story that people's lives are actually being saved through simple and common knowledge about benzos, withdrawals, and slow tapering.  As individuals, we all have to learn how to balance out what we all think is best for us.  Just like you said we have no idea what really is going on "behind the scenes" with regards to all the good/bad influences that people are going through when they post on here or even for those who just read and don't post.  Yes, it is true, we see so many negative horror stories and bad things on a benzo forum, and no doubt that can have a negative influence on many here (including myself) who spend a lot of time on this forum.  Like I said, I am not in disagreement with what you posted here.  I enjoyed reading all of it and it actually helped me in some ways.  Just keep in mind, just like there are bad things and secrets going on behind the scenes of those suffering at their computers, there are also GOOD THINGS that none of us have been able to witness that have taken place because of forums like these and those who have the guts to post in honesty and humility. 

 

I have no doubt in my mind that MANY lives have been literally saved as a result of online benzo support.  I believe mine was one of them.  Regardless of the outcome of the end of my benzo journey (good or bad) when it is all over, I know that even if it has a bad ending, that whatever people did from their hearts to try to make a difference in someone elses journey was well worth it.  If someone had not tole me about titration, I think I would be dead right now.  I can't prove it, but I believe it.  Not everyone has a good ending and not everyone has a bad ending.  I still think we should continue to share our experiences in love, honesty, compassion, and humility knowing that just like we don't see all the details of the bad things going on behind the scenes, neither do we see all the details of the GOOD things that have gone on behind the scenes as a result of online benzo support. 

 

All that being said, I truly enjoyed reading your post and it was timely for me and I needed to hear it, and it is true, but don't forget about the other side of the many many stories that NONE OF US are even aware of that have touched people's lives and even saved people's lives because of posts that were made whether negative or positive.  One strong point you made is that we are to share our experiences here, not dictate to others what they should or should not do.  This is and can be VERY DANGEROUS and risky, and not to mention it is against forum policy.  Nevertheless, I am thankful for even the NEGATIVE and SCARY stories and reports on here because I know that there are many people who really are honest and transparent, and even others who don't post that are going through the same thing can read that they are not alone.  They can also learn withdrawal methods that could LITERALLY save their life. 

 

Thanks again for the post.  I think you brought to light more clearly the side of caution that we all need to be aware of and need to take to heart as we consider if, when, and how much time to spend on a benzo forum as well as the things that we need to be more aware of and keep "in the back of our minds" as we continue to participate or not.  Take care.

 

Kian

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I think many of the commenters on this thread are right - there is content that will be good for you to read and bad for you to read at any given point in your recovery. I think a lot of the problem comes down to self control - KNOWING when it is a bad idea for you to read someone else's horror story, knowing when it is time to log off, knowing when you are in a place where you can offer support to others. Of course, being in the throes of anxiety does tend to blunt the ability to make rational decisions... sigh.

 

The other part of it is that with this many people speaking in an uncensored manner, there will be cases where people are simply wrong, or where there are other issues going on that we don't know about. It is important not to over personalize other peoples' stories - they may have a whole plethora of other things going on, physically or emotionally, that we (or even they!) aren't aware of. Even IF people with the same history had the same withdrawals (which we all know they don't), this would be a seriously limiting factor.

 

Essentially, while I think these boards are a fantastic resource, like anything else we have to know our own limits. Thanks for bringing up the topic, it's been on my mind lately!

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