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Hi everyone.

 

I've been gone for some time now. I was finally mostly symptom-free!! And took a break from the internet. But on January 16th, my Dad passed away :*( And that day I took a .25  xanax to calm myself down. On the day of the wake and funeral I also took a 1/2 each day. Ever since then I felt horrible. I don't know if it's stress related, or from the emergency benzo's I took. I knew I shouldn't of taken them but at the moment I caved in. I've had a horrible headache ALL WEEK. It won't let up, even from advil for tylenol. I feel fatigued, completely exhausted. And I have these weird chest paints mostly under my breast bones. If I go to the doctor he will try to just put me back on benzos and say that it's stress/anxiety. Has anyone else ever had to take emergnecy doses and felt this way? I don't know what to do. I feel like more whole world is collapsing and I just want my physical health back!

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So sorry to hear about your loss. I empathize having gone through that and having lost my baby brother the same year. You might want to try antihistamines that don't work on the benzo receptors. Perhaps the first thing is to do some cognitive behavioroal therapy, which maybe you can get through some counseling. For me, when I went on benzos for the second and third times (I'm vowing never to do that again), I found that the same doses were not effective and I had to updose to get the same calming effect. Try to whether the storm in a different way if you can.
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I'm VERY sorry to hear about your loss. =(

 

The thing you have to remember is, is that you took your benzo during a hard time. Don't beat yourself up for that. That's when some people really need them.

 

The other thing you have to remember, is you said "my dr will just say its stress/anxiety and will try and put me back on benzos."

The thing about this is, is that you are stressed, you are going through a rough patch. Life is tough sometimes, and we either have to try and deal with those emotions or take something. Either way, we have to learn to deal with them. Even if you took a benzo for a week to help you with your stress, you'd eventually have to stop and then deal with it again.

 

Remember benzos are just a band-aid. Not a cure.

 

You know this. =)

 

But what I am saying is, either way you are going to have to cope without benzos, whether you are feeling stress from the loss, or if some of it is still benzo w/d.

 

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Do what YOU need to do. =) Not what others tell you what to do.

We are all just here to support you. =)

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So sorry to hear about your loss. I empathize having gone through that and having lost my baby brother the same year. You might want to try antihistamines that don't work on the benzo receptors. Perhaps the first thing is to do some cognitive behavioroal therapy, which maybe you can get through some counseling. For me, when I went on benzos for the second and third times (I'm vowing never to do that again), I found that the same doses were not effective and I had to updose to get the same calming effect. Try to whether the storm in a different way if you can.

 

It's pretty common for people to find that once they've used benzos in the past, when they take them again they cause problems or don't work the same way. 

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Hang in there.  You'll get through this.

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Thank you everyone! I don't want to take anymore benzos but this is SO HARD TO DEAL WITH. I keep going back to thinking that there is something wrong with me (like a brain tumor, or cancer) just like I used to do when I first was coming off the Klonopin, especially since my Dad passed from cancer. Everyone keeps telling me that how I feel is from stress, but I don't know. I just want to call my Dad and tell him that I don't feel good :*(
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Could be, but whether a wave or anxiety, try to get your mind out of the cycle that there is something wrong with you that is your undoing. Believe me, I understand that thought completely. After spending tons of money to find nothing is wrong with me, I began to accept the anxiety diagnosis. Can people miss things, yes. Is it much more probable that they are not and that you are suffering the varied symptoms of anxiety or benzo withdrawal, I would personally bet on that. Of course, everyone has to gauge themselves and their symptoms and go to a doctor when they feel something is wrong. I just know that it is very easy to get caught in that hypochondria cycle to the point that symptoms appear from anxiety.
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I wonder if I was just in a "window" and am now back in a "wave"???? I thought all of this was over!!

 

I was going to suggest that you might simply be experiencing the dreaded three month wave.  It's not uncommon to have a wave at 2-4 months even with a taper. 

 

I had one & it looks like we tapered at a similar rate.

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