Who has held after a big cut and felt better after a few weeks? Does it work?

Sorry, I wrote a similar thread, just really need hope here.  I have been at this dose for a more than a week (after a large cut and subsequent small updose) and feel absolutely horrid.  Can barely function.  Cannot care for my kids, major DP/DR, sleeping 1-2 hours a night, high BP/heartrate, no appetite, losing weight, physical anxiety (burning pain in my chest), numb tongue, etc., etc.  Really losing it here and want to know if there is any hope.  I can't begin to imagine cutting more in this state.   DOES HOLDING REALLY HELP AND FOR HOW LONG SHOULD I HOLD??  And I don't mean, the normal holding after a normal cut, I mean holding for a few weeks after a big cut where someone is very symptomatic.  Anyone experience something similar?  I need hope!!!  THANKS FOR ANY FEEDBACK!!!

 

Tina 

Sorry you are feeling so bad Tina.  Wish I could help.  Am bumping this thread up for you.

 

Angel xx

I have.  In fact, that's pretty much the story of my entire taper history.  If you look at my signature, with the exception of the first cut, all of the nine others were between very hard and down right brutal.  The second one was true hell on earth though (way too big a cut before I was benzo-wise) and I had to hold for a total of 2.5 months. 

 

I'd say that by the 4 week point I had recovered enough to be somewhat in the land of the living, but the symptoms were still severe enough that I held until I was relatively stable at the 2.5 month mark.  But I would say that 4 weeks was definitely when things started to clear (though I was improving before that, but that was the turning point).  With all of the other tapers, it was pretty much the same deal, but because it was smaller cuts it didn't take as long to recover, but I still had another one that was so bad I had to hold for 6 weeks even though it was a relatively tiny cut.

 

Personally, while I know that every second is an eternity when you are where you are, right now, I don't think that it has been that long as far as these things go.  I think you will fairly definitely stabilize if you just hold where you are.  I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.

 

Hang in there, baby.

 

Thanks Sweet G.  Was adrenalin one of your issues?  For me, I go to bed around 9 and am awoken at 10 with adrenalin, my heart pumping, ears ringing, arms burning, tight feeling in chest, etc.  Then it's like my body is in "fight or flight" mode and won't allow me to sleep (b/c the lion is coming of course and it wants me ready to run).  This is what I figured out is going on.  If I could sleep more than an hour a night (I would even take 3-5 at this point, I think I could function at least somewhat).  But 1 hour a night is getting to me big time.  I am going to start hallucinating soon or something.  My body is just so AMPED up and has a life of its own...

 

GABBA receptors, please come back!  I need you to help me sleep!

anyone else?

Well, on my previous K taper, I tapered down by 1/8 of a pill until I got to the last 1/8th, then I went by 1/16th. If you consider those large cuts, I survived them. I had really bad anxiety for about a week with each cut. I had to updose back to 1/8th because I tried to move from there to zero and failed. I did it, but it was pretty hard. In each case, I did stabilize (except that jump from 1/8th). In some cases it took a week, in others 2 to 3 weeks. I'm not repeating that by the way with this taper. I am going to take longer if necessary because that withdrawal almost cost me my job.

Thank you Benzo.  Yeah, you really learn after the big cuts.  I have done it several times during my taper and thought I learned the first time, but guess I didn't    Here I am totally unstable and even increased my dose a bit.  Errggggggghh.  I am begging my gaba receptors to catch up with my cut!  When you updosed from 0 back to 1/8 did you feel it helped you stabilize, or was it not even worth it?  I am considering upping my dose just a little bit more to the place where I was last stable.  Hate backtracking though...especially if there are not guarantees it will help.

 

Thanks,

Tina 

I'm sorry to stick my oar in because I didn't really taper as such (I did a super-fast one) but I am wondering whether the amount you are taking is so tiny it is not having much effect.

 

If it were me I would seriously consider jumping as one can never guarantee that a taper to the very end (crumbs) is going to make it an easier ride.

 

Also we only start to heal when we are off. 

 

I know you are scared Tina but the dose is very low.

 

Just a thought.  I am really not telling you what to do, just what I would probably do.

 

Angel

Angel,

I know-believe me I have thought of that so many times.  That is why I jumped from .125 to .085 virtually overnight--about a 30% cut--because I'm on such a low dose!!  Right??  Well, I almost went into a psychosis and developed TERRIBLE akathesia and basically had to pace for 2 days straight.  Other disturbing symptoms as well including numbness and burning on my tongue, face, arms.  Thank God the burning and akathesia has lessened but now I have developed debilitating insomnia and completely lost my appetite again--not to mention that my HR is often in the 100s and BP high too.  If I jumped now I would be basically jumping from 1 mg. Valium (that's the equivelant) to zero in one jump and given that I am soooooooo sensitive to every withdrawal symptom (based on that last cut), I believe that would disastrous.  I know, very frustrating.  I believe I am an anomoly, even amongst this group.  Super super sensitive to everything.

Tina

We only heal when we're totally off? I thought that was the purpose of tapering so that our brains will adjust/heal gradually?

We only heal when we're totally off? I thought that was the purpose of tapering so that our brains will adjust/heal gradually?

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Yes that is true but, from what I have read on here, there are no guarantees that you are going to have an easy ride when you are off even if you taper to the end.  It is very individual - obviously a slow taper is advised according to Prof. Ashton but the question is how far to the end do you go when the drug may not even be having an effect?

 

You will only heal once the drug is out your system, that is true.

 

I expect others with experience of tapering may jump in.

 

Angel

Give it time.  You will be feeling better before you know it.

 

I had a couple large cuts early on in my taper that took months to stabilize from. 

 

Hang in there!