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BENZO POEMS


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IT GETS BETTER

 

 

Will I ever get well I used to say, would recovery happen for me

 

 

The words echo on the forum “You will get better when you’re free”.

 

 

I didn’t believe it, I will never get well I was far too ill to survive

 

 

It’s hard to believe that despite my doubts two years later I am alive.

 

 

Two years ago I was on my knees I couldn’t stand the pain

 

 

My doctor said it was all in my head and my family thought the same

 

 

Such a lonely existence in benzo hell, and nobody wants to know

 

 

I had many friends i was fun to be around now they cant wait to go

 

 

Cant they see I am sick cant they see its real, they know me, I don’t pretend.

 

 

What is wrong with them all, why don’t they believe, I thought they were my friends

 

 

My skin hurts my bones are burning even the roots of my hair are sore

 

 

Losing my mind and I am sick of being sick and I don’t want to live anymore.

 

When I look back at how my life was I know I have come a long way

 

I had every symptom in the Ashton manual but I haven’t got many today.

 

 

My taper was hell, but I did it somehow, with the help of a forum so brave

 

I shall remember you all, you saved my life thanks for the knowledge you gave

 

Today I am free from that evil pill I have been free just over a year,

 

I am able to smile I’m not crying no more, and I don’t have that terrible fear

 

 

Thank God for the wonderful forums the admins and mods are the best

 

The courage and compassion from its members to have met them I feel incredibly blessed.

                 

                  You are all unsung heroes

 

                      Margarita xx

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IT GETS BETTER

 

 

Will I ever get well I used to say, would recovery happen for me

 

 

The words echo on the forum “You will get better when you’re free”.

 

 

I didn’t believe it, I will never get well I was far too ill to survive

 

 

It’s hard to believe that despite my doubts two years later I am alive.

 

 

Two years ago I was on my knees I couldn’t stand the pain

 

 

My doctor said it was all in my head and my family thought the same

 

 

Such a lonely existence in benzo hell, and nobody wants to know

 

 

I had many friends i was fun to be around now they cant wait to go

 

 

Cant they see I am sick cant they see its real, they know me, I don’t pretend.

 

 

What is wrong with them all, why don’t they believe, I thought they were my friends

 

 

My skin hurts my bones are burning even the roots of my hair are sore

 

 

Losing my mind and I am sick of being sick and I don’t want to live anymore.

 

When I look back at how my life was I know I have come a long way

 

I had every symptom in the Ashton manual but I haven’t got many today.

 

 

My taper was hell, but I did it somehow, with the help of a forum so brave

 

I shall remember you all, you saved my life thanks for the knowledge you gave

 

Today I am free from that evil pill I have been free just over a year,

 

I am able to smile I’m not crying no more, and I don’t have that terrible fear

 

 

Thank God for the wonderful forums the admins and mods are the best

 

The courage and compassion from its members to have met them I feel incredibly blessed.

                 

                  You are all unsung heroes

 

                      Margarita xx

 

Wow, that is amazing.  Long term user recovery.  Thanks for the wonderful poem.

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I only read your beautiful poem today, Magrita. Thank you for posting it.  I am still where you were in the first 12 lines but even your title gives me hope and inspiration. :thumbsup:

 

love

Carol

x

 

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I only read your beautiful poem today, Magrita. Thank you for posting it.  I am still where you were in the first 12 lines but even your title gives me hope and inspiration.

 

Hey Carol :hug:

 

You are going to get well again Carol, you will get your life back in spite of what your going through now.

I know how hard it is to see this when your in the thick of it.....i thought i had no chance.

Your going to be ok girl

love

Margarita :-*

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Never give up, I was so ill when I wrote this poem and I didn’t think I would make it. Believe me it does all go away and we eventually get our lives back

 

 

9 Months into my taper Dec 2009  now at 6mgs

 

ENDLESS TORMENT

 

Its never ending, that’s how I feel the horror of withdrawal goes on

Not eating or sleeping not living at all and all of my strength has gone

Yes I am crying again, sorry cant help it so desperate to be free from the pain

Trying hard not to crumble, I am struggling, its hell, so scared that I’m going insane

 

I know it’s the drugs but when you’re in a dark place its hard to see were your going

Is there a flicker of light at the end of it all at the moment I have no way of knowing

Everything looks dark and dirty there are no shades of yellow or green

My spirit is low don’t know how far I’ll go this is by far the worst I have ever been

 

I feel I have let you all down I can’t even be bothered to post

Ashamed of myself I have deserted my friends all the people I care for the most

No words can express the love that I feel, my fellow sufferers you are the best

All the hurt and the suffering I have witnessed here, to know you I have been

blessed

 

I have got through some awful events in my life, I always thought I was strong

But these evil drugs I am sorry to say are beginning to prove me wrong

Damn those pharmaceutical companies, I hate them for putting us through hell

And Doctors who knowingly prescribe benzos, making us all feel unwell

 

God I am feeling so angry, I was a fun girl the belle of the ball

I will have to get rid of this hatred or I’ll never get well at all

What’s done is done I have to move on cant turn back time that’s for sure

Just exist in the moment that’s what I have to do, I cant do anything more

 

Dec 2009

 

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Margarita,

Your writing is so moving. Biy that is probably all of us at one time or another on this journey. Thank you for sharing su h deep personal part if you. That's why we can do it, I think. Because of the understanding we get here. I'm glad ypur here too ms zopato y rojo!

 

♥U, Marg!

Sarah~

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Never give up, I was so ill when I wrote this poem and I didn’t think I would make it. Believe me it does all go away and we eventually get our lives back

 

 

9 Months into my taper Dec 2009  now at 6mgs

 

ENDLESS TORMENT

 

Its never ending, that’s how I feel the horror of withdrawal goes on

Not eating or sleeping not living at all and all of my strength has gone

Yes I am crying again, sorry cant help it so desperate to be free from the pain

Trying hard not to crumble, I am struggling, its hell, so scared that I’m going insane

 

I know it’s the drugs but when you’re in a dark place its hard to see were your going

Is there a flicker of light at the end of it all at the moment I have no way of knowing

Everything looks dark and dirty there are no shades of yellow or green

My spirit is low don’t know how far I’ll go this is by far the worst I have ever been

 

I feel I have let you all down I can’t even be bothered to post

Ashamed of myself I have deserted my friends all the people I care for the most

No words can express the love that I feel, my fellow sufferers you are the best

All the hurt and the suffering I have witnessed here, to know you I have been

blessed

 

I have got through some awful events in my life, I always thought I was strong

But these evil drugs I am sorry to say are beginning to prove me wrong

Damn those pharmaceutical companies, I hate them for putting us through hell

And Doctors who knowingly prescribe benzos, making us all feel unwell

 

God I am feeling so angry, I was a fun girl the belle of the ball

I will have to get rid of this hatred or I’ll never get well at all

What’s done is done I have to move on cant turn back time that’s for sure

Just exist in the moment that’s what I have to do, I cant do anything more

 

Dec 2009

 

 

 

Thank you.  I really needed this today.  I am so low.  Your words are so true.  And this message will get me through today: Never give up, I was so ill when I wrote this poem and I didn’t think I would make it. Believe me it does all go away and we eventually get our lives back

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  • 2 weeks later...

Never give up, I was so ill when I wrote this poem and I didn’t think I would make it. Believe me it does all go away and we eventually get our lives back

 

 

9 Months into my taper Dec 2009  now at 6mgs

 

ENDLESS TORMENT

 

Its never ending, that’s how I feel the horror of withdrawal goes on

Not eating or sleeping not living at all and all of my strength has gone

Yes I am crying again, sorry cant help it so desperate to be free from the pain

Trying hard not to crumble, I am struggling, its hell, so scared that I’m going insane

 

I know it’s the drugs but when you’re in a dark place its hard to see were your going

Is there a flicker of light at the end of it all at the moment I have no way of knowing

Everything looks dark and dirty there are no shades of yellow or green

My spirit is low don’t know how far I’ll go this is by far the worst I have ever been

 

I feel I have let you all down I can’t even be bothered to post

Ashamed of myself I have deserted my friends all the people I care for the most

No words can express the love that I feel, my fellow sufferers you are the best

All the hurt and the suffering I have witnessed here, to know you I have been

blessed

 

I have got through some awful events in my life, I always thought I was strong

But these evil drugs I am sorry to say are beginning to prove me wrong

Damn those pharmaceutical companies, I hate them for putting us through hell

And Doctors who knowingly prescribe benzos, making us all feel unwell

 

God I am feeling so angry, I was a fun girl the belle of the ball

I will have to get rid of this hatred or I’ll never get well at all

What’s done is done I have to move on cant turn back time that’s for sure

Just exist in the moment that’s what I have to do, I cant do anything more

 

Dec 2009

 

 

 

Thank you.  I really needed this today.  I am so low.  Your words are so true.  And this message will get me through today:

 

Hi Hope :hug: Sorry i have only just noticed your post,So glad it helped at that time

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Hey Margo, I just saw your poem tonight. It's so beautiful and inspiring.  :thumbsup:

 

Love

Laura

 

Aww Laura My Little Angel  :angel:

 

I have just come here to copy my poem for a fellow sufferer and noticed your post

 

bless you

 

Margarita :-*

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I read that and now my eyes are red and tears running down my face... a lump in my throat, i am so glad it got better for you.

 

Thank you.

 

Oscar

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Margarita, after being on Librium for 20 years, this has truly given me hope. I cannot thank you enough for this.

 

God bless you and i hope for total healing for you, i really do.

 

Oscar. xx

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Margerit I am so move by your poem i felt you spoke what i feel. and you are right we have to let go of our bitterness to get well. How well said. Im so happy you are well and you give me hope today
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