Insomia's got hold of me!

Whoah, I had NO idea what insomnia really was until a few weeks ago. I've had sleeping issues since the start of my taper. I was put on K in the first place for sleep, so I sort of assumed it would be a big w/d sxs. Anyhow, I first took melatonin- stopped working after 3 months, then onto benadryl, worked for about 2 months, then finally onto trazadone, 25mgs, then 50mg, now 100mgs. Now trazaone and benadryl.

 

Anyhow, I got this MAJOR job promotion. Go figure, I'm at the last leg of my taper, and this opportunity smacks me in the face. I'm expected to work like 65 hours a week, travel, etc. but at 24 I CANNOT let this opportunity pass me by. The devil on my shoulder is telling me to do it, risk your health, stop being negative, while the angel is telling me my health isn't worth any job. The stress of making this decisions has turned me into a zombie. I literally sleep 2-3 hours a night, and the life is sucked right out of me. Geez it makes everything worse, the depression, anxiety etc. I've lost weight, it stinks!

 

So, Im basically desperate for sleep. I want to raise my trazadone, but those who've been on it know what it's like to take a lot and then NOT sleep. My doc is willing to give me anything which is freakin tempting. I've tried the whole good sleep hygeine, no TV, sugar etc. nothing works. I guess I could work on my diet more. I can hardly exercise like I use to because of the hours I put in at work.

 

Ugh. Well thanks for letting me vent. For those experiencing the insomnia now, boy I feel for you. Hugs and healing.

 

Anna

Sorry you have to endure this...especially with the new job pressures upon you.  Poor sleep surely does affect all aspects of life for many of us.

 

Just curious A.....when you bumped up Traz dosage in the past did you sleep better each time?  If so, how long did the new dose work then?

Hi Anna,

 

I'm six months out and insomnia is still my biggest issue. I am currently on 100mg trazadone and 25 mg of benadryl and I feel it does nothing. All I can say is I'm sorry bc it's awful I know. My body has adapted to sleeping only a few hours a night. I also have a baby which gets up at night a lot. I posted a thread about a sleep program I'm about to start. Maybe you can try it? It's the effortless sleep method by Sasha Stephens. Insomnia often starts as a physical cause but then it shifts to a psychological fear of not sleeping that continues to drive the insomnia. I think my insomnia is about 60 percent psychological.

Hi Anna and everyone posting on this thread - Wow, I am SO sorry you are going through this.  You have so much pressure on you, and it must feel really overwhelming.  I've just had three "bad" nights myself, but I am a stay at home mother with 2 toddlers, so if I'm a wreck they are effected but at least we're all at home... I'm sorry this is happening for you.

 

A book I like is The Insomnia Answer.  It's helped me in primarily reminding me, or teaching me, that sleep issues are almost always psychological not physical.  In my case, when I have bad nights I start to develop a true and real belief that I somehow "can't" sleep.  And when I hear my husband snoozing away I assume it's because he's somehow got it figured out, is more deserving of rest, or some other silly but destructive line of thinking.

 

The authors of this book contend that if you believe you can sleep, you will.  You also have to figure out your natural sleep cycle, etc, so it gets a little more complicated.  But just that reminder that sleep is innate is comforting...

 

I'm on trazadone too, and I've noticed that some nights it seems to knock me out like nothing I've ever known and other nights I just feel kind of "drugged." Sometimes I've suspected that trazadone is almost more effective at lower doses: last night I took a tiny amount, maybe 15mg, and I was sound asleep on the couch within an hour.  When I got up to go to bed, I took more, even though I suspected I didn't need it, and then I was wide awake at 12:30, in an almost panic.

 

Also, when do you take your trazadone? It often takes a good hour to set in, and are you giving yourself enough time to unwind?

 

Another poster mentioned doxepin, which I've never heard of, but the reviews looked interesting.  It's an AD, and supposedly doesn't effect benzo receptors.

 

OK, take care and be well - Etoile

Thanks for replying everyone. Yes, I do think it is mostly psychological. I know it is. I was sleeping fine until this whole new job thing came about. Now I can't even sleep on the weekends. I'm sitting here in tears. I'm so desperate, my doc is suggesting adding clonodine to my trazadone or switching from trazadone to remeron? Anyone ever try these? I HATE to resort to more medication, but I'd rather sleep and feel okay on a medication, then feel like this:(

In most drug free people, insomnia is psychological. For those affected by medications insomnia is a known side effect of tolerance and withdrawal. There are biological processes that have been chemically altered and it takes time for the body to right itself. As you get further and further away from all drugs the body does right itself. I do believe there is a time when the sleep issues do become more psychological than physical. I can say with certainty when I was on the drugs, getting off and off, I had physical insomnia due to altering of the HPA and the brain damage from these drugs. I was told on BW and BB by many  people that I had one of the worst cases of insomnia ever. Not bragging about that one.... It was pure hell for a year on the garbage and nearly 10 months to a year off. I hit my one year mark in December and my sleep is 10x better now. It's not quite what it used to be, and a lot of that is psychological and some is remnants of hormonal damage. It is getting better and I do not take any drugs. I'm letting my body heal naturally and drinking lots of nourishing infusions of food grade oats and nettle. I love  them both~

Wishing you all much success and healing.

Melo x

CMG--That gives me hope.  I am still tapering Ativan and my sleep is awful.  I am wide awake with adrenalie early in the morning--the last 2 mornings it was 1:30.  Then I am awake the rest of the night!  I feel so bad for my body.  This is not normal!  I hope my sleep comes back soon after my taper is complete--or before!  Knowing you were a bad case and yours got better keeps me going...

Hi Tina

Yes my insomnia was absolutely awful, I swore I was going to die from it. It also led to agoraphobia, panic, constant adrenaline rushes, even nausea and vomiting. Sleep is so crucial, for me it always has been, but I never ever had a problem sleeping before this nightmare. I am sleep much much better, averaging 8-9 hrs a night, sometimes I wake up and sometimes I don't. The difference is that now I fall back to sleep. I still have issues when it gets close to my period, but it's gotten a lot better for sure. I lost nearly 2 years of my life to these drugs, they were awful for me. I didn't have sleep issues before and I pray that eventually they vanish for good. I have to be diligent about my sleep hygiene, but I'm Ok with that for now. Room must be dark, cool and quiet. I still have to sleep sep from my husband and that part kills me, but we both agree that at least now I am sleeping.

Early on in cold turkey I did try Valerian, Tart Cherry, California Poppy and other random sleep aides (nothing OTC or Rx for sleep, but natural supps and herbs). None of then worked for me and in fact made ME 100% worse causing setbacks. The only things that helped were Time, clean healthy diet, and walking when I could do it. I would walk 3-5 miles a day all over NYC to tire myself out, but only if I had gotten some sleep the night before.

Wishing you much healing and health.

Melo x

Thanks for replying everyone. Yes, I do think it is mostly psychological. I know it is. I was sleeping fine until this whole new job thing came about. Now I can't even sleep on the weekends. I'm sitting here in tears. I'm so desperate, my doc is suggesting adding clonodine to my trazadone or switching from trazadone to remeron? Anyone ever try these? I HATE to resort to more medication, but I'd rather sleep and feel okay on a medication, then feel like this:(

 

Not sure what clonodine is.  I did switch from trazadone, once it stopped working for me, to remeron during the taper and have been on this med since.  It does work for me most nights for 6.5 to 7.5 hours of sleep and no drugged feelings (does increase appetite however), although I have not tried going without it since starting remeron 18 months ago.

 

Hey, hope things improve for you, Anna.

just my 2 cents

I HATE REMERON

I HATE ALL OF THESE DRUGS

REMERON I HATE THE MOST.

Well CM...then remeron is not for you.  I agree that it is best not to use any med to sleep....but at some point the insomnia becomes unbearable for some....after folks try OTC...natural....various techniques...etc....

 

Remeron thus is an alternative for many of us....