Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

Marwegs,

CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so happy for you. Thank you for all your support. It’s made a huge difference for me. I really appreciate it. I’m hoping to join you on the other side by the end of this year.

Happy Birthday and Thanksgiving. Praying for your 100% recovery!

Bibsjo

Haimonia,

I’ve been where you are. I was dry cutting .5 mg tablets without a scale and had some pretty severe waves. I’m glad you got a scale. For me, everything got more intense under 1 mg. I understand what you are going through.

I recently switched over to a liquid compound and so far it’s been good. I’ve had some really excellent windows.  Just started microtapering two days ago after stabilizing on the liquid for a week.

We are here for you,

Bibsjo

Bibsjo,

Thank you for your encouragement! I definitely have experienced the same thing, that it has gotten harder under 1 mg. (A lot harder).  I am holding for a few more days I think, at my current dose, as I can still feel the instability of the most recent cut (worse sleep, jitteriness).  I am so eager to get off this poison, but I have to keep working and functioning the best I can, and I don't want a huge crash.

Thanks,

Haimona

Haimona,

Exactly. Also, it feels like the closer I get to the end, the farther away it gets. Now I’m holding again because my Dr. is away for a week and does not want me to crash while he’s out. I hate this. I’m hoping to celebrate the New Year Benzo free.

Take care,

Bibsjo

I thought I could taper quickly since I’ve only been on xanax then ativan 6 weeks.  Guess I am wrong.  Moved from 0.25mg 1x day-xanax then at 4 weeks 0.5mg ativan tapering to 0.375 then 0.125.  Holding at .125 for 11 days and in hell.  Severe anxiety, panic, depression.  I cant take it.

Did switching from xanax to ativan cause this?  Does this mean I’ve CT xanax and going through withdrawals.

Taking 1x a day causing this?

Dropping too fast causing this?

I am lost as to exactly how to get more stable.  My doctor will only Rx ativan.

Hi JBen,

Welcom to this very supportive thread.  You've come to the right place.  I'm sure other more knowledgeable people than I will come and chime in soon on your post.  That does sound like an awfully fast taper to me.  I'm not surprised you are struggling so badly right now.  Have you looked at the Ashton Manual yet? It was written by a doctor who was an expert on benzos and benzo withdrawal, and she definitely suggests a slower taper than that -- and many of us (including me) taper even more slowly than Dr. Ashton suggests.  I think the biggest thing is to listen to your brain/body, and take your time with it.  The temptation is always to speed it up to get off the benzos, but that can make things worse than they may need to be.

For me, I'm still feeling the very small back-to-back reductions I made in the past few weeks, and so I'm holding at the moment, waiting to get back to some kind of equilibrium, or at least less jumpiness/jitteriness/DR/brain fog. 

Hoping all the other buddies are doing as well as possible today.

Haimona

Hi JBen,

 

Welcom to this very supportive thread.  You've come to the right place.  I'm sure other more knowledgeable people than I will come and chime in soon on your post.  That does sound like an awfully fast taper to me.  I'm not surprised you are struggling so badly right now.  Have you looked at the Ashton Manual yet? It was written by a doctor who was an expert on benzos and benzo withdrawal, and she definitely suggests a slower taper than that -- and many of us (including me) taper even more slowly than Dr. Ashton suggests.  I think the biggest thing is to listen to your brain/body, and take your time with it.  The temptation is always to speed it up to get off the benzos, but that can make things worse than they may need to be.

 

For me, I'm still feeling the very small back-to-back reductions I made in the past few weeks, and so I'm holding at the moment, waiting to get back to some kind of equilibrium, or at least less jumpiness/jitteriness/DR/brain fog. 

 

Hoping all the other buddies are doing as well as possible today.

 

Haimona

Hey Haimona.  Yeah.  I just read through it.  Also found out that some folks are splitting ativan up to 5x a day.  Doc will only rx ativan so I have to work with that.  I know the Ashton manual says to switch over to Val but not an option for me unfortunately.  Got her to rx liquid ativan and tomorrow i will split dose 4x a day.  If that doesnt work then I will updose a bit to see what happens.  Cant believe how fast I developed such a strong dependence on this drug.  Wow!

I thought I could taper quickly since I’ve only been on xanax then ativan 6 weeks.  Guess I am wrong.  Moved from 0.25mg 1x day-xanax then at 4 weeks 0.5mg ativan tapering to 0.375 then 0.125.  Holding at .125 for 11 days and in hell.  Severe anxiety, panic, depression.  I cant take it.

 

Did switching from xanax to ativan cause this?  Does this mean I’ve CT xanax and going through withdrawals.

Taking 1x a day causing this?

Dropping too fast causing this?

 

I am lost as to exactly how to get more stable.  My doctor will only Rx ativan.

JBen, welcome to this group. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You will heal. Unfortunately it takes time.

I felt much better when I split my doses evenly through the day (and night). At first I set my alarm for every six hours and then gradually moved it to every 8 hours, and then over time to twice a day.

I experience “waves” of symptoms and “windows” of well being. I hang onto  the windows and remind myself when I have waves that this is temporary and that it always passes.

I agree, the best source of information I’ve found  is The Ashton Manual. I can’t speak to whether the crossover from Xanax to Ativan helped or hurt. But many, many people here in this group have successfully tapered off of Ativan. We have watched several of our buddies complete their tapers recently.

I recently switched from tablets to a liquid compound. I’m feeling much better on the liquid. It’s much more accurate and easier for me to taper at these last low doses.

We’re glad you found this thread,

Bibsjo

I thought I could taper quickly since I’ve only been on xanax then ativan 6 weeks.  Guess I am wrong.  Moved from 0.25mg 1x day-xanax then at 4 weeks 0.5mg ativan tapering to 0.375 then 0.125.  Holding at .125 for 11 days and in hell.  Severe anxiety, panic, depression.  I cant take it.

 

Did switching from xanax to ativan cause this?  Does this mean I’ve CT xanax and going through withdrawals.

Taking 1x a day causing this?

Dropping too fast causing this?

 

I am lost as to exactly how to get more stable.  My doctor will only Rx ativan.

 

JBen, welcome to this group. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You will heal. Unfortunately it takes time.

 

I felt much better when I split my doses evenly through the day (and night). At first I set my alarm for every six hours and then gradually moved it to every 8 hours, and then over time to twice a day.

 

I experience “waves” of symptoms and “windows” of well being. I hang onto  the windows and remind myself when I have waves that this is temporary and that it always passes.

 

I agree, the best source of information I’ve found  is The Ashton Manual. I can’t speak to whether the crossover from Xanax to Ativan helped or hurt. But many, many people here in this group have successfully tapered off of Ativan. We have watched several of our buddies complete their tapers recently.

 

I recently switched from tablets to a liquid compound. I’m feeling much better on the liquid. It’s much more accurate and easier for me to taper at these last low doses.

 

We’re glad you found this thread,

Bibsjo

Hey Bibsjo.  Thank you.  Very helpful.

I split the dose to 3x yesterday by throwing the 0.125mg pill into 100ml of water, drinking about 33% morning lunch and evening.  It helped!  I was a bit shaky between doses but at least i wasnt on the floor crying  all day with severe non-stop panic attacks. 

I get liquid ativan tomorrow and will be able to dose 4x a day in much more precise doses.  It wasnt easy to convince the doc but she did finally support my request.  Hoping this works and hoping I can stablize on 0.125mg then start a much slower taper.

I am finally hopeful today.

Hello all,

So many new names here. This is an incredible resource and support forum. Many of the folks supported me through hell. I’ll be grateful forever. My taper was bar none, the toughest thing I’ve done. My career field in law enforcement and military deployments pailed in comparison. That being said, I made it. SO WILL YOU!

Tech.. so happy for you! You are awesome, and so glad you are Benzo free.

I’m there also ( jumped on 10 September)  .....and life is back to normal for me. I didn’t believe I would ever feel like myself again, but I’m proof that there is a normal again. I’m running, biking and competing again like I was prior to Ativan.

For the new folks, lessons I learned:

-Be patient and know this is not a race. I learned that lesson the very hard way. That just set me back. My rule was that I’d have to feel’ ok’ for a week prior to another cut.

-use a scale.

-go slow, then even slower.

-have faith you WILL prevail.

-crappy symptoms of tapering are a healthy response to your body and brain adjusting to normal. They suck, but I reminded myself that it was healing happening. Still, I know, it sucks when we are in it.

-educate yourself AND your loved ones about the struggle ahead. Support is key.

-love the ‘windows’, slog through the ‘waves’

-finding a long term medication (SSRI ) was the ticket for me. It took 3 months to kick in, but made an immense difference.

-stay busy, keep your mind occupied ( I remodeled a bathroom) I needed something to focus on other than the misery I was feeling. Force yourself to move and get outside.

-exercise and eat well.

- keep a daily journal as you taper. It helped me a bunch on a bad day, to look back and read about the good days.

I know that reading this and trying to believe you will feel “ yourself” again at times will be impossible. Benzo’s are the biggest liar on the face of the earth. It causes our brains to go to the darkest places and stay there unless we fight back.

Hoping that you all find success and the windows are plentiful.

I thought I could taper quickly since I’ve only been on xanax then ativan 6 weeks.  Guess I am wrong.  Moved from 0.25mg 1x day-xanax then at 4 weeks 0.5mg ativan tapering to 0.375 then 0.125.  Holding at .125 for 11 days and in hell.  Severe anxiety, panic, depression.  I cant take it.

 

Did switching from xanax to ativan cause this?  Does this mean I’ve CT xanax and going through withdrawals.

Taking 1x a day causing this?

Dropping too fast causing this?

 

I am lost as to exactly how to get more stable.  My doctor will only Rx ativan.

Jben,

Welcome.

First thing you must do is get stable. Find a dose that is sustainable and that you can function on. After that comes the process of learning to know when to cut. Pretty soon, you’ll know the signs of a go or abort.

Like yourself, I had not been on Ativan very “ long” when I realized I was dependent. I opted to not crossover to a more long acting Benzo and was very glad I had. The mental freedom for me knowing I wouldn’t have to taper twice, was reason enough. That being said, all of us react differently to our tapers.

Hoping you are doing as well as you can today.

JBen,

Hoping the liquid ativan is helping you stabilize to a more tolerable level. It was recommended to me to hold at a stable dose on the liquid until I stabilized before beginning to taper again. I felt better immediately after crossing over to the compounded liquid, but made myself hold for a full week to be sure.

When I was dry cutting larger percentages I noticed a 3-4 day lag before the symptoms ramped up. Now I am taking smaller reductions using the liquid and am having more constant but less intense symptoms so far.

Wanttheoldme,

Thanks for checking in! It is so great to hear a success story from someone on this thread. I really appreciate it.

Hope everyone else is making progress. Progress meaning marching carefully onwards, or carefully holding, or carefully caring for yourself.

- Bibsjo

Hello all,

So many new names here. This is an incredible resource and support forum. Many of the folks supported me through hell. I’ll be grateful forever. My taper was bar none, the toughest thing I’ve done. My career field in law enforcement and military deployments pailed in comparison. That being said, I made it. SO WILL YOU!

 

Tech.. so happy for you! You are awesome, and so glad you are Benzo free.

I’m there also ( jumped on 10 September)  .....and life is back to normal for me. I didn’t believe I would ever feel like myself again, but I’m proof that there is a normal again. I’m running, biking and competing again like I was prior to Ativan.

 

For the new folks, lessons I learned:

 

-Be patient and know this is not a race. I learned that lesson the very hard way. That just set me back. My rule was that I’d have to feel’ ok’ for a week prior to another cut.

-use a scale.

-go slow, then even slower.

-have faith you WILL prevail.

-crappy symptoms of tapering are a healthy response to your body and brain adjusting to normal. They suck, but I reminded myself that it was healing happening. Still, I know, it sucks when we are in it.

-educate yourself AND your loved ones about the struggle ahead. Support is key.

-love the ‘windows’, slog through the ‘waves’

-finding a long term medication (SSRI ) was the ticket for me. It took 3 months to kick in, but made an immense difference.

-stay busy, keep your mind occupied ( I remodeled a bathroom) I needed something to focus on other than the misery I was feeling. Force yourself to move and get outside.

-exercise and eat well.

- keep a daily journal as you taper. It helped me a bunch on a bad day, to look back and read about the good days.

 

I know that reading this and trying to believe you will feel “ yourself” again at times will be impossible. Benzo’s are the biggest liar on the face of the earth. It causes our brains to go to the darkest places and stay there unless we fight back.

 

Hoping that you all find success and the windows are plentiful.

Wow.  Thank you so much for the message today.  This is exactly the message I needed.  I just cut 10% yesterday and feeling some anxiety and other wd symptoms.  Your list was the perfect answer to all of my questions.

Welcome JBen, you've found a good place here with sound advice and compassionate people who get it.  I sure wish I had found it sooner before embarking on my taper.  Wanttheoldme, that's such great news that you have had normal return--and to hear that you are back to being active/competing again gives me hope!  So glad to hear the switch to liquid has worked for you Bibsjo.  And many congratulations to Marwegs (what wonderful news!) and to the continued progress of my fellow Ativan compatriots. 

I’ve been on the site here and there, mostly reading up on the successes of other BB’s as still needing a little boost of hope that one day all of this will be behind me.  I wanted to stop by to give you an update as it’s been a month since I took my last dose.       

For the most part, I think I am doing very well given my pell-mell, too fast in the beginning, panicked in the middle, and finally stable at the end taper.  I’m not sure what percentage to use in relation to my pre-benzo hell baseline as it’s too early and my symptoms come and go, sometimes heavier, sometimes lighter, but there are definite doable waves and some very lovely windows of ME again happening.  The usual suspects this past month are similar to what I experienced at the end of my taper: burning sensations (mostly back of arms & top of the head), mild DR & anxiety, moments of cognitive fog, tight feeling in jaw, disequilibrium, some emotional swings (crying jags out of nowhere), some sleep disruptions/mild insomnia, and two new symptoms that I did not have at all before or during the taper, that didn’t show up until about 2 weeks off, namely a numb/scalded tongue feeling and some intermittent tinnitus (not every day and not all day, just little bursts of ringing).  The scalded tongue feeling though has been persistent, not letting up at all since it showed up—super frustrating and annoying.  BUT, the other symptoms come and go, sometimes they show up for just a little bit—minutes or hours—and never all at the same time. 

Progress IS happening.  My sleep is SO much better.  It seems to cycle now where I can go a few nights where I manage to sleep 5 hours without waking, and when I do wake, I manage to get back to sleep most of the time.  The past 3 nights I have slept 7 hours straight.  JOY!  I’ve also put some weight back on (although I won’t mind if the vanity lbs. manage to stay away), and I have been able to watch small doses of TV again.  One difficult hurdle has been my intolerance to exercise, at least to anything that is more rigorous.  I was a runner before this and did HIIT workouts, so I have attempted to do things beyond walking and hiking our nearby trails, to up my exercise game with very modified, easier workouts, but it just isn’t happening right now, so that has been a bit disheartening.  I will be trying light runs again this week to see if I can break this trend. 

A huge moment of thankfulness and a notch in my healing belt was 2 weekends ago.  My husband and I took the girls to the Shenandoah National Park for a spur of the moment mini getaway, something that would have been our “normal” before my nightmare, and we had a wonderful time hiking, sightseeing, making those memories.  This would have been unthinkable only 2 months ago.  My husband and I also celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this week, and even though the circumstances of a pandemic and a benzo recovery backdrop were not what we had originally planned for this year, we still managed to enjoy a simple, but lovely milestone. 

Thank you again, to everyone here, for all the care, advice, and the continued support.  It really is something to behold how perfect strangers experiencing a similar anguish can provide the most help.  I wish all of you well during your recoveries and continued tapers.  Keep strong, keep pushing forward, and keep the faith that we will all, one day, heal. 

All my best,

Amanda

Amanda, it's great to hear how well you are doing.  I love hearing the success/improvement stories for people who have jumped, or "walked off" as some buddies prefer to put it.

I did two relatively quick but very small reductions a few weeks ago, and after the second one really felt the effects of both: worse sleep (again), jittery/jumpy, even more cog fog/DR.  I was planning to reduce again last night, but changed my mind thinking I should wait until I've felt stable-ish for at least a few days.  So, I'm impatiently waiting, and starting to wonder if I will ever get off this poison, ever feel okay, ever heal, ever be back to myself.  But I will keep going.  Just feeling a bit discouraged today, doubting again that my cog/memory issues are withdrawal related, even though they did start during my taper exactly when I went below .5 mg.  I think I may need a good window to show myself what the future could hold, but that hasn't happened so far.

Haimona

Hi Buddies

Welcome, JBen... I liked reading that you finally have hope. You will make progress, even if it comes in moments.

Haimona, the cuts are hard. Hang in there, you are making good progress, so just listen to your body and march forward. You can do it! I remember being where you were, crying to my husband, feeling like it was never going to end, and here I am, 2 weeks out. You will get there!! 😊

Bibs, you’re making great progress too! So glad liquid is working for you. It just gave me a steady stream of milder symptoms, too, instead of big highs and really low lows.

Amanda & Wanted, thank you for sharing your progress... I need to read these!!! You’ve come so far 💗

Tomorrow marks 2 weeks off, and it’s been a challenge for me. My body is certainly trying to heal, it’s just uncomfortable. I experienced a glorious 24 hours after my last dose, then immediately went into an intense few days of benzo belly and chills and shaking, mostly lots of heavy nausea. It seems to have passed, and when I feel it coming on, I make some tea out of ginger root and it seems to calm it.

The bigger symptom for me is crushing chest pain and breathlessness. This really revs up my anxiety, and seems to trigger crying spells, which I’m leaning into. I’m discouraged, but know it’s still so early. I have to remind myself that my GABA receptors are downregulated and need time to ‘wake up’.

On Friday, I saw my counsellor, and she did a Neuroptimal session on me. She said she could see that a couple of my brainwaves were going wild, and within 3 minutes, they calmed. I could feel it! I was nervous to try it, as I didn’t want it to interfere with my healing, but have decided to incorporate it as part of my healing journey. It gave me a couple hour window, and symptoms are a little bit lessened since then. The depression that came from taking Ativan, lifted during the end of taper, and has now returned all of a sudden. Ashton talks about this lifting, and I’m praying it does, because until Benzos, is never experienced depression before.

I am praying for you all... please keep me in yours. big hugs!

Maria

Hi Buddies

 

Welcome, JBen... I liked reading that you finally have hope. You will make progress, even if it comes in moments.

 

Haimona, the cuts are hard. Hang in there, you are making good progress, so just listen to your body and march forward. You can do it! I remember being where you were, crying to my husband, feeling like it was never going to end, and here I am, 2 weeks out. You will get there!! 😊

 

Bibs, you’re making great progress too! So glad liquid is working for you. It just gave me a steady stream of milder symptoms, too, instead of big highs and really low lows.

 

Amanda & Wanted, thank you for sharing your progress... I need to read these!!! You’ve come so far 💗

 

Tomorrow marks 2 weeks off, and it’s been a challenge for me. My body is certainly trying to heal, it’s just uncomfortable. I experienced a glorious 24 hours after my last dose, then immediately went into an intense few days of benzo belly and chills and shaking, mostly lots of heavy nausea. It seems to have passed, and when I feel it coming on, I make some tea out of ginger root and it seems to calm it.

 

The bigger symptom for me is crushing chest pain and breathlessness. This really revs up my anxiety, and seems to trigger crying spells, which I’m leaning into. I’m discouraged, but know it’s still so early. I have to remind myself that my GABA receptors are downregulated and need time to ‘wake up’.

 

On Friday, I saw my counsellor, and she did a Neuroptimal session on me. She said she could see that a couple of my brainwaves were going wild, and within 3 minutes, they calmed. I could feel it! I was nervous to try it, as I didn’t want it to interfere with my healing, but have decided to incorporate it as part of my healing journey. It gave me a couple hour window, and symptoms are a little bit lessened since then. The depression that came from taking Ativan, lifted during the end of taper, and has now returned all of a sudden. Ashton talks about this lifting, and I’m praying it does, because until Benzos, is never experienced depression before.

 

I am praying for you all... please keep me in yours. big hugs!

 

Maria

Maria,

Two weeks off!! This is huge. Congrats! You’ve made it through the worst part. Now you heal. Mentally, I guarantee you, it’s huge knowing you are off the poison. Try and focus on that. You WILL get your old self back. Do things you used to, that you enjoyed. Even if seems tough.  No longer does it feel like your life is ‘controlled’. You are in control.

Stay strong,

Allan

Hi Buddies

 

Welcome, JBen... I liked reading that you finally have hope. You will make progress, even if it comes in moments.

 

Haimona, the cuts are hard. Hang in there, you are making good progress, so just listen to your body and march forward. You can do it! I remember being where you were, crying to my husband, feeling like it was never going to end, and here I am, 2 weeks out. You will get there!! 😊

 

Bibs, you’re making great progress too! So glad liquid is working for you. It just gave me a steady stream of milder symptoms, too, instead of big highs and really low lows.

 

Amanda & Wanted, thank you for sharing your progress... I need to read these!!! You’ve come so far 💗

 

Tomorrow marks 2 weeks off, and it’s been a challenge for me. My body is certainly trying to heal, it’s just uncomfortable. I experienced a glorious 24 hours after my last dose, then immediately went into an intense few days of benzo belly and chills and shaking, mostly lots of heavy nausea. It seems to have passed, and when I feel it coming on, I make some tea out of ginger root and it seems to calm it.

 

The bigger symptom for me is crushing chest pain and breathlessness. This really revs up my anxiety, and seems to trigger crying spells, which I’m leaning into. I’m discouraged, but know it’s still so early. I have to remind myself that my GABA receptors are downregulated and need time to ‘wake up’.

 

On Friday, I saw my counsellor, and she did a Neuroptimal session on me. She said she could see that a couple of my brainwaves were going wild, and within 3 minutes, they calmed. I could feel it! I was nervous to try it, as I didn’t want it to interfere with my healing, but have decided to incorporate it as part of my healing journey. It gave me a couple hour window, and symptoms are a little bit lessened since then. The depression that came from taking Ativan, lifted during the end of taper, and has now returned all of a sudden. Ashton talks about this lifting, and I’m praying it does, because until Benzos, is never experienced depression before.

 

I am praying for you all... please keep me in yours. big hugs!

 

Maria

Congrats Maria!  Looking forward to joining you.  Hang in there!

Hi.  I’m pretty new on this thread.  I joined BBs a few years ago when I first started tapering.  I didn’t post a lot because that taper was relatively easy.  I didn’t feel like I needed extra support or that I could really add anything for support of others. I did think that this was a great place for those who did need support.

Looking back I realize I should have stayed involved back then.....long enough to get correct information about benzos.  I though if I tapered to a much smaller dose it was safe to hang out there forever. Boy was I wrong.  I should have continued my taper until the finish back then!

Now I’m trying to continue.  I started again about a year ago but hit a wall when I developed severe back pain and reinstated a bit.  The pain has been bad enough that I started having panic attacks which was new for me.  It is still unresolved but working on that. Some of you may have read my posts on other boards about that.

I think the stress of the pain has made me pretty unstable and having tolerance/WDs but I’m all geared up to do a dry taper.  Have a scale and tapering advice from a great Buddie. I’m getting a little nervous about it but  I feel like I need to start. Plan to start with a 3% cut.

How many of you have been dry tapering from Ativan successfully or have completed your taper by dry cutting?

I also see that some of you have switched to liquid Ativan at some point. Is it easier to do the last part of taper with it?

I also want to say that is is so great all the positive thoughts and support everyone in this group gives.  I feel like I’m in good hands!

Hi Maria:

So glad to hear from you and how you are doing.

We had such similar stories, I wish I figured it out sooner like you had and started tapering properly in July.

Oh well, we all have our own journey that found us to this point.

It sounds like you are doing great so far, I too get the chest discomfort and breathlessness, it's a hard one.

Keep up the hard work.

The anxiety and depression are very difficult and have only begun for me in the last few months, that's when I figured it out that it was the pills. I keep telling my husband it's not me, its the poison.

I'm glad that you started neurofeedback. I've done a lot of it in the past, and even this spring as I got sick.

Wish I stuck to it, instead of taking the Ativan sporadically, then nightly, as I too listened to my doctors.

We ended up renting our own NeurOptimal unit, as that turned out to be much cheaper and the entire household could do it (around $1000 per month with unlimited sessions). If you find it continues to help you, you can look for that option. You can buy your own unit as well, but it's kind of pricey ($20000 US).

Everyone else

I'm fairly new here and I'm waiting on some liquid Ativan to start tapering off my doses.

I'm trying to stabilize and hold, as I've had a number of medical procedures lately, that have sent my system into haywire.

So far, my worst symptom is the brain burning or my brain feeling like it's on fire. I have a hard time with that one.

I hope to learn from all of you as we continue in this journey together.

Winnie Dog

Hi.  I’m pretty new on this thread.  I joined BBs a few years ago when I first started tapering.  I didn’t post a lot because that taper was relatively easy.  I didn’t feel like I needed extra support or that I could really add anything for support of others. I did think that this was a great place for those who did need support.

 

Looking back I realize I should have stayed involved back then.....long enough to get correct information about benzos.  I though if I tapered to a much smaller dose it was safe to hang out there forever. Boy was I wrong.  I should have continued my taper until the finish back then!

 

Now I’m trying to continue.  I started again about a year ago but hit a wall when I developed severe back pain and reinstated a bit.  The pain has been bad enough that I started having panic attacks which was new for me.  It is still unresolved but working on that. Some of you may have read my posts on other boards about that.

 

I think the stress of the pain has made me pretty unstable and having tolerance/WDs but I’m all geared up to do a dry taper.  Have a scale and tapering advice from a great Buddie. I’m getting a little nervous about it but  I feel like I need to start. Plan to start with a 3% cut.

 

How many of you have been dry tapering from Ativan successfully or have completed your taper by dry cutting?

 

I also see that some of you have switched to liquid Ativan at some point. Is it easier to do the last part of taper with it?

 

I also want to say that is is so great all the positive thoughts and support everyone in this group gives.  I feel like I’m in good hands!

Hi Twocats,

I switched to a liquid compound because I could not accurately dry cut the tablets well enough. Moving to liquid seemed easier to me than using a scale. I only wish I had access to the liquid earlier. I had some very bad waves after every cut under .75mg. So far I'm doing better on the liquid compound.

Glad you are hear on this thread with us!

Hi Buddies

 

Welcome, JBen... I liked reading that you finally have hope. You will make progress, even if it comes in moments.

 

Haimona, the cuts are hard. Hang in there, you are making good progress, so just listen to your body and march forward. You can do it! I remember being where you were, crying to my husband, feeling like it was never going to end, and here I am, 2 weeks out. You will get there!! 😊

 

Bibs, you’re making great progress too! So glad liquid is working for you. It just gave me a steady stream of milder symptoms, too, instead of big highs and really low lows.

 

Amanda & Wanted, thank you for sharing your progress... I need to read these!!! You’ve come so far 💗

 

Tomorrow marks 2 weeks off, and it’s been a challenge for me. My body is certainly trying to heal, it’s just uncomfortable. I experienced a glorious 24 hours after my last dose, then immediately went into an intense few days of benzo belly and chills and shaking, mostly lots of heavy nausea. It seems to have passed, and when I feel it coming on, I make some tea out of ginger root and it seems to calm it.

 

The bigger symptom for me is crushing chest pain and breathlessness. This really revs up my anxiety, and seems to trigger crying spells, which I’m leaning into. I’m discouraged, but know it’s still so early. I have to remind myself that my GABA receptors are downregulated and need time to ‘wake up’.

 

On Friday, I saw my counsellor, and she did a Neuroptimal session on me. She said she could see that a couple of my brainwaves were going wild, and within 3 minutes, they calmed. I could feel it! I was nervous to try it, as I didn’t want it to interfere with my healing, but have decided to incorporate it as part of my healing journey. It gave me a couple hour window, and symptoms are a little bit lessened since then. The depression that came from taking Ativan, lifted during the end of taper, and has now returned all of a sudden. Ashton talks about this lifting, and I’m praying it does, because until Benzos, is never experienced depression before.

 

I am praying for you all... please keep me in yours. big hugs!

 

Maria

Maria,

Thank you for checking back in with us. I will continue to pray for your 100% recovery. I have been listening to "Hallelujah even here" by Lydia Laird. It helped me so much. 

Bibs

Bibsjo

Thanks for your response about using liquid Ativan.  I will definitely keep it in mind as I go forward.

I have been having some pretty bad days lately.  Crazy anxiety, days when I cry all day, agoraphobia, tinnitus off and on, shakiness and of course, terrible sleep. I absolutely do not know who I am anymore. Sometimes I lie in bed and look around and wonder who in the heck I am and where am I? ( we moved into a new house shortly before I started getting worse) That is the scariest part of all.  My husband, family and a couple of friends are very supportive. COVID does not make the mental part of this any easier.

Are these tolerance symptoms since I haven’t started my taper again?  I have been holding since May after reinstating.

I have such a difficult time telling myself that these symptoms are just my brain trying to get back to normal.  They are so intense sometimes.  I just want it to be over!

It has helped to be on here because I know I’m definitely not alone.

Sorry to ramble.  Just have to get it out there.

Hi buddies,

I waited about 2.5 weeks from my last reduction -- I know I was moving too fast, two back to back reductions (even though they were small, and by back to back I mean a week apart) -- but too fast for me.  Tonight I made another small reduction, after I finally felt pretty good for a single day today.  I think my impatience to be off the drug is warring with my desire to feel okay-ish.  I keep hoping at some point as I get lower, I will find, as some other buddies have, that it gets easier.  So far it's been the opposite for me.  Anyway, we all keep fighting the good fight, and so far, keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Hang in there, everyone.

Haimona

Hi buddies,

 

I waited about 2.5 weeks from my last reduction -- I know I was moving too fast, two back to back reductions (even though they were small, and by back to back I mean a week apart) -- but too fast for me.  Tonight I made another small reduction, after I finally felt pretty good for a single day today.  I think my impatience to be off the drug is warring with my desire to feel okay-ish.  I keep hoping at some point as I get lower, I will find, as some other buddies have, that it gets easier.  So far it's been the opposite for me.  Anyway, we all keep fighting the good fight, and so far, keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Hang in there, everyone.

 

Haimona

Hey Haimona.  Hoping for the best.  Yes same here.  Going a bit fast hoping it doesnt catch up with me.  Went from 0.125 to 0.105 over 10 days taking a little off each day.  Had burning skin, headache, some anxiety in afternoon/evening.  Nothing as bad as the first few reductions but those were hell on earth.  I am going to hold now at 0.105 for at least the next 5 days to see what other wd I get.  I too want off this drug and may be going too fast.  Time will tell I guess.

Ben