Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

Man, I'm having great difficulty. I have to keep touching the walls and snapping the elastic band on my wrist because I feel like I'm losing touch with reality. The intrusive thoughts just won't let up and everything is just so dreamy lol. I feel like I don't exist. This is crazy.

 

I know, Cosmic, sometimes they just don't let up. Keep telling yourself you've been there and done that before, you know it's the drug. It's a very weird state sometimes, looking outside in or inside out. You're doing great it's a total mind game....

 

Yeah, I don't even know anymore saga. I'm sure the drug doesn't help but this is probably some underlying anxiety/ocd that's only made present now im my lifetime. It's been 5 weeks now the intrusive thoughts have been tormenting me. There's only so much I can be mindful about until my head feels like it's going to explode.

H0pe - I'm so glad things are settling down a bit for you. That's great news. Please keep us posted on your progress....we are all in your corner 

 

Try -how is the crossover going? Is it getting any easier? I hope so, this is such a hard road and I hope you are getting some relief 

 

Omni - things still ok? 

 

Dready - you haven't checked in for awhile, are things going smoothly? 

 

Judy - how are you making out with your scale and cuts? I'm hoping you've got things down pat 

 

Warrior - we talk often, but wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts. 

 

Cosmic - My buddy....I know how hard it is, having just come out of an awful wave myself, I can say that the state you're in is temporary. I know you're scared. I know you feel helpless. Remind yourself that you can get through this. That you are stronger than Ativan. You know exactly what's causing the symptoms....so they don't need to scare you. This is part of healing. The only way out is through. Just hold your dose for a few days until you get some relief. PM me if you need too 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Kiddo,

 

Thanks for checking on me.  I'm trying to hang in there.  Was feeling well enough to go out today and run some errands.  Taking it day by day.    Direct c/o is the pits when your in tolerance.  How are you doing?

 

Appreciate you checking on me

 

 

Man, I'm having great difficulty. I have to keep touching the walls and snapping the elastic band on my wrist because I feel like I'm losing touch with reality. The intrusive thoughts just won't let up and everything is just so dreamy lol. I feel like I don't exist. This is crazy.

 

I know, Cosmic, sometimes they just don't let up. Keep telling yourself you've been there and done that before, you know it's the drug. It's a very weird state sometimes, looking outside in or inside out. You're doing great it's a total mind game....

 

Yeah, I don't even know anymore saga. I'm sure the drug doesn't help but this is probably some underlying anxiety/ocd that's only made present now im my lifetime. It's been 5 weeks now the intrusive thoughts have been tormenting me. There's only so much I can be mindful about until my head feels like it's going to explode.

 

Just keep hanging in there Cosmic, never underestimate the power of this drug...you're doing great,really 

H0pe - I'm so glad things are settling down a bit for you. That's great news. Please keep us posted on your progress....we are all in your corner 

 

Try -how is the crossover going? Is it getting any easier? I hope so, this is such a hard road and I hope you are getting some relief 

 

Omni - things still ok? 

 

Dready - you haven't checked in for awhile, are things going smoothly? 

 

Judy - how are you making out with your scale and cuts? I'm hoping you've got things down pat 

 

Warrior - we talk often, but wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts. 

 

Cosmic - My buddy....I know how hard it is, having just come out of an awful wave myself, I can say that the state you're in is temporary. I know you're scared. I know you feel helpless. Remind yourself that you can get through this. That you are stronger than Ativan. You know exactly what's causing the symptoms....so they don't need to scare you. This is part of healing. The only way out is through. Just hold your dose for a few days until you get some relief. PM me if you need too 

 

Hi Kiddo; My first cut went well, I'm still adjusting to the increased dose of Zoloft ( have been increasing in weekly increments) and there is the "start up SSRI anxiety" with every increase. So hopefully this will be the dose that I will stabilize on . I probably would have waited another week to start taper, but felt rushed by the pdoc who is ordering 25% cuts on the latest Rx. I will try to negotiate with her on my next appt. Otherwise will ask my G.P. to order the Ativan to support the slower taper. Glad your wave is over and wishing you well. Thanks for your support as always.

Kiddo I'm so happy to hear your doing better. You have great friends to support you !

 

Being new here I'm want to post on this tread. But not sure how. So I will do it this way for now. I hope it is ok ? My brain does not seem to get things at times, that is not news to anyone here I'm sure !

 

Is it true that the lower you go tapering off Ativan the harder it is ?

Meaning more withdrawals ? Today is not a good day for me. I cut the 15th ,that night dose. Now it seems like I feel worse after 7 days since the cut. I do know I have over did. That can explain part of it  or all. 

Thank you for being there for me. I feel crazy and guilty for not knowing how to navigate this site. I do care about all of you !

Warrior - you posted to the thread correctly, it takes time to figure out the site, don't be too hard on yourself. I always feel my cuts around the 4th day....everyone is different. Perhaps keep a small journal so you can figure out a pattern. That's what I do. That way, you can plan your cuts around upcoming commitments if you need to  it has not been my experience that I feel worse the lower I go. The opposite in fact. 

 

Try - well, getting out and running errands is a step in the right direction for sure  hopefully your crossover will start to smooth out soon and you'll feel better. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing 

 

Judy - I'm really glad to hear you're adjusting, that's fantastic. Please don't let your doctor force you into doing large cuts. Advocate for yourself, and ask for his/her support in tapering in a way you are comfortable 

 

Cosmic - how are you today?

 

 

HOpe, sorry I didn't mean to ignore your post, sometimes I'm just doing too much here and overlook sometimes. Yes, distraction is an enormous help, not of the reasons I'm happy I'm able to work. I hope you're doing well.

 

Cosmic, keep working through the thoughts, remember it's not you, it's the drug.

 

Judy, glad your first cut went well. I know it's tough with the extra anxiety brought on by the Zoloft. Good luck negotiating for a better taper. Those drops are too much. This is your taper plan. I hope they'll work with you.

 

Warrior,you're doing fine with the site. I've been here awhile now and I'm still learning some tricks myself. I found the lower I went in my taper the better I was in general. If you feel like you've overdone things, it can defineltely flare sxs.

 

Try, good luck with the crossover, it's still early days. Getting out and doing errands is a good sign.

 

Kiddo glad you're back bestie. Great job pulling yourself out of the mud

 

On a funny note, I'm the worlds slowest typist. It's just taken me 15 minutes to do this LOL.

Hope everyone has a good day

 

Saga

Warrior - you posted to the thread correctly, it takes time to figure out the site, don't be too hard on yourself. I always feel my cuts around the 4th day....everyone is different. Perhaps keep a small journal so you can figure out a pattern. That's what I do. That way, you can plan your cuts around upcoming commitments if you need to  it has not been my experience that I feel worse the lower I go. The opposite in fact. 

 

Try - well, getting out and running errands is a step in the right direction for sure  hopefully your crossover will start to smooth out soon and you'll feel better. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing 

 

Judy - I'm really glad to hear you're adjusting, that's fantastic. Please don't let your doctor force you into doing large cuts. Advocate for yourself, and ask for his/her support in tapering in a way you are comfortable 

 

Cosmic - how are you today?

 

I'm not doing too well kiddo. I'm feeling kind of sick. My sleeps are getting worse and worse so it's making this more difficult. Hoping at some point things are going to get easier rather than difficult as I move down. I'm getting those awful sleep starts again and it's making me do a frontflip in my bed. Hahahahha

Hi Cosmic, my sleep is generally a mess. I have been alternating Benadryl or what is actually fake Unisom, not the real deal I discovered. It's helping but it's no miracle cure I'm afraid. Sadly the twitches and limb jumping is still part of the sleep routine, I guessing that's what you're referring to. I'm not sure what else to advise...it's part of the package I'd like to return for a refund 

Hi Cosmic, my sleep is generally a mess. I have been alternating Benadryl or what is actually fake Unisom, not the real deal I discovered. It's helping but it's no miracle cure I'm afraid. Sadly the twitches and limb jumping is still part of the sleep routine, I guessing that's what you're referring to. I'm not sure what else to advise...it's part of the package I'd like to return for a refund 

 

I'm already taking a very low dose of seroquel that used to knock me out, unfortunately after several months it's starting to wear off and I definitely do not want to up the dose and over complicate things with more medication.

The front flips I'm talking about are hypnagogic jerk, sleep starts. Lol they are extremely annoying.

 

Saga what do you do with the intrusive thoughts? You just let them be and they fade over time? I feel as sometimes the thoughts are so powerful they provoke immediate emotional and physical responses.

Hope Oh look, a new friend! Thanks for the best wishes, I appreciate it!

 

Kiddo It's day 6 and I haven't felt any w/d yet, but I wake up every morning fearful of what the day may hold. Ive got some anxiety, but I think its self inflicted from worrying so much. Hopefully the following days will be as smooth as the first 6, Lord have mercy on me.

 

Ive got a benzobuddy that's celebrating her 100th ativan free day. She was pretty excited. She said the vast majority of her symptoms are gone and shes feeling better. Any time we doubt we just have to keep our eyes on God and seek success stories like these out, and remind ourselves it is possible. People before us have done it, some that were in much worse shape than ourselves, so why cant we do it? The answer is we can. We just gotta stay strong and positive.

 

Thanks for checking up on my Kiddo you made my day! Ill be praying for you all 

Hi Cosmic, my sleep is generally a mess. I have been alternating Benadryl or what is actually fake Unisom, not the real deal I discovered. It's helping but it's no miracle cure I'm afraid. Sadly the twitches and limb jumping is still part of the sleep routine, I guessing that's what you're referring to. I'm not sure what else to advise...it's part of the package I'd like to return for a refund 

 

I'm already taking a very low dose of seroquel that used to knock me out, unfortunately after several months it's starting to wear off and I definitely do not want to up the dose and over complicate things with more medication.

The front flips I'm talking about are hypnagogic jerk, sleep starts. Lol they are extremely annoying.

 

Saga what do you do with the intrusive thoughts? You just let them be and they fade over time? I feel as sometimes the thoughts are so powerful they provoke immediate emotional and physical responses.

 

Hello friends, I tried tapering twice before this and failed, and had myoclonic jerks the whole time, and Ive found the solution. Magnesium. I take 300-600 before bed and they help ALOT. I still might get one or two every other night or so, but they don't recur over and over and keep me up all night long like they used to. Be sure to drink plenty of water when you take it, and note that if you take too much for too long it has the potential to give you the runs. A small price to pay for a night of decent sleep. Im praying for you friends! Hang in there 

Hi Cosmic, my sleep is generally a mess. I have been alternating Benadryl or what is actually fake Unisom, not the real deal I discovered. It's helping but it's no miracle cure I'm afraid. Sadly the twitches and limb jumping is still part of the sleep routine, I guessing that's what you're referring to. I'm not sure what else to advise...it's part of the package I'd like to return for a refund 

 

I'm already taking a very low dose of seroquel that used to knock me out, unfortunately after several months it's starting to wear off and I definitely do not want to up the dose and over complicate things with more medication.

The front flips I'm talking about are hypnagogic jerk, sleep starts. Lol they are extremely annoying.

 

Saga what do you do with the intrusive thoughts? You just let them be and they fade over time? I feel as sometimes the thoughts are so powerful they provoke immediate emotional and physical responses.

 

Hello friends, I tried tapering twice before this and failed, and had myoclonic jerks the whole time, and Ive found the solution. Magnesium. I take 300-600 before bed and they help ALOT. I still might get one or two every other night or so, but they don't recur over and over and keep me up all night long like they used to. Be sure to drink plenty of water when you take it, and note that if you take too much for too long it has the potential to give you the runs. A small price to pay for a night of decent sleep. Im praying for you friends! Hang in there 

 

I've been taking approx 450mg scattered through  the day, does it help to take it before bed??

 

Actually, now that I think about it... My supply ran out a week ago, approx when the sleep starts started happening again. Interesting. What form of magnesium do you take

Hi Cosmic, my sleep is generally a mess. I have been alternating Benadryl or what is actually fake Unisom, not the real deal I discovered. It's helping but it's no miracle cure I'm afraid. Sadly the twitches and limb jumping is still part of the sleep routine, I guessing that's what you're referring to. I'm not sure what else to advise...it's part of the package I'd like to return for a refund 

 

I'm already taking a very low dose of seroquel that used to knock me out, unfortunately after several months it's starting to wear off and I definitely do not want to up the dose and over complicate things with more medication.

The front flips I'm talking about are hypnagogic jerk, sleep starts. Lol they are extremely annoying.

 

Saga what do you do with the intrusive thoughts? You just let them be and they fade over time? I feel as sometimes the thoughts are so powerful they provoke immediate emotional and physical responses.

 

Hello friends, I tried tapering twice before this and failed, and had myoclonic jerks the whole time, and Ive found the solution. Magnesium. I take 300-600 before bed and they help ALOT. I still might get one or two every other night or so, but they don't recur over and over and keep me up all night long like they used to. Be sure to drink plenty of water when you take it, and note that if you take too much for too long it has the potential to give you the runs. A small price to pay for a night of decent sleep. Im praying for you friends! Hang in there 

 

I've been taking approx 450mg scattered through  the day, does it help to take it before bed??

 

Actually, now that I think about it... My supply ran out a week ago, approx when the sleep starts started happening again. Interesting. What form of magnesium do you take

I'll chime in on this: I take Magnesium Bisglycinate. It is apparently the most absorbable form of Magnesium and is helpful for a lot of people for sleep and as a muscle relaxant.

I've noticed people who are on valium tend to taper their last 1mg at exceptionally slow rates, is there any particular reason for this?? Generally you don't see the last 0.1 with Ativan and xanax users take forever.

Kiddo-    What a great help you are. I feel more relieved . I do journal but I will make a special one for cuts and feelings, etc. That will be easy to glance at when needed.

 

Saga -  I appreciate your encouragement and kindness.

 

I really don't know what I would do without all of you. Just knowing someone understands and cares is such a blessing !

Before I found BB's  I was told the lower you go the harder it is . So I'm glad to hear that is not the case. I was in a panic. I must calm down. Today was just a bad day. Tomorrow will be better ! Peace and Love to all !

Hi Cosmic, my sleep is generally a mess. I have been alternating Benadryl or what is actually fake Unisom, not the real deal I discovered. It's helping but it's no miracle cure I'm afraid. Sadly the twitches and limb jumping is still part of the sleep routine, I guessing that's what you're referring to. I'm not sure what else to advise...it's part of the package I'd like to return for a refund 

 

I'm already taking a very low dose of seroquel that used to knock me out, unfortunately after several months it's starting to wear off and I definitely do not want to up the dose and over complicate things with more medication.

The front flips I'm talking about are hypnagogic jerk, sleep starts. Lol they are extremely annoying.

 

Saga what do you do with the intrusive thoughts? You just let them be and they fade over time? I feel as sometimes the thoughts are so powerful they provoke immediate emotional and physical responses.

 

Hello friends, I tried tapering twice before this and failed, and had myoclonic jerks the whole time, and Ive found the solution. Magnesium. I take 300-600 before bed and they help ALOT. I still might get one or two every other night or so, but they don't recur over and over and keep me up all night long like they used to. Be sure to drink plenty of water when you take it, and note that if you take too much for too long it has the potential to give you the runs. A small price to pay for a night of decent sleep. Im praying for you friends! Hang in there 

Thanks for the info Omni, sorry I forgot you! honestly that's one of the reasons I try to avoid the multiple people postings...I'm very glad you're six days in with no problem. Be positive- this time you're going to make it 

Saga  First off great job ! I see you dosed 4 times a day . What times did you take your benzo and how much per dose. Just take one of your days and explain to me if you the doses you have listed was it divided by 4 . Like .09 mg I think was your last one taken. Was that divided by 4 ? I ordered a scale ., should be here tomorrow. Would you mind helping me to  understand how you did that. Thank you.

If anyone else wants to reply that would be great. I have no clue on how to work the math for the scale and doses. 

Cosmic - maybe you should try the magnesium again and see if it helps. The timing is certainly suspect. Maybe that's all you need 

 

Warrior - don't worry about the scale. You'll be able to figure it out. When you get it, simply divide your current dose by 4 and weigh the pills to get the current weight. Saga and I did things a little different, so I'm sure she'll pop in and let you know what worked for her as well. I literally just broke off chips from my 1mg pill until it weighed whatever dose I was at. 

Saga  First off great job ! I see you dosed 4 times a day . What times did you take your benzo and how much per dose. Just take one of your days and explain to me if you the doses you have listed was it divided by 4 . Like .09 mg I think was your last one taken. Was that divided by 4 ? I ordered a scale ., should be here tomorrow. Would you mind helping me to  understand how you did that. Thank you.

If anyone else wants to reply that would be great. I have no clue on how to work the math for the scale and doses. 

 

Hi Warrior,

 

Thank you. I started with 3 doses and moved to 4x a day when I found this site. I dosed at 7:00 12:15. 5:15 and 10:30. My doses were rather uneven for most of my taper. I started with uneven dosing, and had to somewhat awkwardly continue on the way down. I did my best to even them up, but it was inconsistent. I actually needed my hubby to do the math because I was also working with  both the 1 mg and .5 mg tablets.

He did all of the math for me because I'm truthfully terrible. Still, I was able to finish my taper with some uneven dosing.

 

The best advice I could give would be to use the scale and if possible to even the doses as best you can. If I'd started evenly it would have been much easier. It takes patience and time to chisel the tiny bits off the pills and weigh them.

 

Saga

Hey guys. Yes kiddo I'm definitely gonna get back on the magnesium as soon as possible, and perhaps add in a bit of vit c just to see if that helps my nocturnal REM attacks.

 

Today was significantly difficult for me. Surprisingly in the worst of my attack I decided to just say Fk it and I drove around my area for a good hour. First time in 4 months! Wasn't really a problem, however it really felt dreamy and I wasn't all there, my mind was wandering like crazy, but my subconscious is still in tact I guess.

 

I know I'm repetitive, but I'm having great great difficulty with all the anxiety mental symptoms. You see the dilemma with me is that generally you guys ensure me that it's all benzo related and it's the drug that has that effect on me, and although I understand that, I can't help it but i feel helpless and it drives me insane that due to this I don't have any "control". That loss of control is very hard for me to grasp. I don't have any say in my anxiety? Or the flashbacks, or the zoning out, and all that? Is there anything that cognitive behavioural therapy can help with regarding these symptoms? Or is there really NOTHING that I can do, because it's benzo related. I want to do everything on my end to try and beat this thing, but once again, I'm feeling defeated and pretty depressed. I had a good run of 10 or so days of at least manageable survivability, but I'm at a dead end again.

 

I called my local hospital to try and schedule an appointment with another CBT psychologist, because the one I'm working with just isn't doing it for me, and it's 110$ per session. Anyways, let me know what you guys think.

 

It's funny you see, my measly 0.15 literally looks like 15mg in my eyes. When I started my taper I had a date I figured I'd get off. That was pushed back, then the new date was pushed back, and once again. And by the looks of it my newest "plan", which I thought was pretty drawn out, will be stretched even further.

 

Anyways, I'll report back in 2016 when I'm off the drug and in acute

I can't help it but i feel helpless and it drives me insane that due to this I don't have any "control". That loss of control is very hard for me to grasp. I don't have any say in my anxiety? Or the flashbacks, or the zoning out, and all that? Is there anything that cognitive behavioural therapy can help with regarding these symptoms? Or is there really NOTHING that I can do, because it's benzo related.

 

There are things you can do. CBT, a set of techniques, is but one of them. And yes they should help you cope with the anxiety, hypochondriasis, DP/DR, etc. It is not a magic bullet that will silence the horridness. But the coping mechanisms will help you to stop escalating/feeding them into larger monsters than they have to be.  Like going down the "what if...." rabitt hole.

Cosmic - you will be off before 2016! Lol. I'm sorry everything sucks so badly. My last wave was horrendous, as you know, but it passed. I wasn't capable of "talking myself out of it". Sometimes you just have to let your thoughts "be". Easier said than done? YES. But practice makes perfect. That dreamy state you talk about is DP/DR, nothing to be afraid of. There isn't much you can do when the terror/anxiety hits....all you can do is accept it. Ridiculous, right? YES. These drugs are digging their claws in because you keep reducing and they know you're winning. You're doing it 

Cosmic I take magnesium oxide with electrolytes, and I take it 1-2 hours before bed. I could probably take a better form of magnesium, but that's all my local drug store had 

 

SagaAnytime, and  Its ok, you weren't intentionally ignoring me or being hateful. Sometimes its hard to keep up with multiple things/people, so no worries. Also, thanks for the encouragement. Im fairly confident now that I have a solid plan and am not doing it blindly. It also helps a lot to have a support group. You guys are great 

I can't help it but i feel helpless and it drives me insane that due to this I don't have any "control". That loss of control is very hard for me to grasp. I don't have any say in my anxiety? Or the flashbacks, or the zoning out, and all that? Is there anything that cognitive behavioural therapy can help with regarding these symptoms? Or is there really NOTHING that I can do, because it's benzo related.

 

There are things you can do. CBT, a set of techniques, is but one of them. And yes they should help you cope with the anxiety, hypochondriasis, DP/DR, etc. It is not a magic bullet that will silence the horridness. But the coping mechanisms will help you to stop escalating/feeding them into larger monsters than they have to be.  Like going down the "what if...." rabitt hole.

 

Laser, did you work throughout your taper? Have you taken cbt and found it to be helpful? Have you ever tried the Mindfulness approach? I find Mindfulness to be exceptionally helpful regarding the intrusive thoughts but sometimes I just zone out hard and my brain  glitches out into fear mode. I wish I could taper as fast as you did at this point but I just cannot. It is too difficult for me.