You know, it's weird... I almost think I was doing better during my taper than I am now? It's a whole other feeling?
But I also started Remeron while I was tapering too to help out? So maybe that's why my taper wasnt so bad?
My tolerance w/d was pretty dang bad! or whatever i was going through... it was constant lightheadedness, off balance, delayed vision response (like when moving my head upwards, things would slightly move for a 2nd)... then the breathlessness in bed, with overwhelming feelings over my body before falling asleep, almost like a rush of adrenaline but ICE COLD adrenaline? Then i had the body shocks in bed, and even once during the day with really bad d/p and d/r... thats when I knew there was a problem going on and it was no longer just an anxiety spell. I also had benzoriah, I remember the crying was so intense I couldnt stop. But then once I updosed to 2mg, saw a psych, i was fine! then i started remeron, I was great!, then started cutting ativan every week, and I was fine doing this! sometimes id almost forget to even take my dose of ativan while tapering, that's how good i felt. I had energy yada yada yada. I did have one bad panic attack though after my ativan taper was done. And I mean BAD! I thought I was dying... the cold and hot sweats, the bad energy in my body, the breathlessness, i was breathing like i ran a marathon! the nausea, the fire feeling coming out of my mouth... ugh! not a good experience. Luckily it only lasted 5 minutes? Then was left with constant shaking and tremors. Luckily this only happened once! My CNS was very sensitive!
Then after I was done tapering, I remember having some mild anxiety, like bad butterflies in my stomach, then I'd obsess about w/d for a bit, then be fine for a while... I slowly weened off the Remeron, then came the fatigue, the forgetfulness/memory issues, feeling kind of spacy.. but i don't necessarily think it was the remeron. I then had issues with [...]... but it has pretty much returned to normal. I also remember having some issues with watching tv shows etc. and my anxiety would just peak for no reason. A strange adrenaline anxiety. Not fun, but I [...] and just tried my best to give it no thought and remember its just w/d.
Lately now I've just have been going through this little funk, you can see on the w/d and recovery board i just posted what im going through at the moment.
Hang in there! [...] you are doing well. Have you had any of my s/x?
