Thank you so much for responding, [...] and [...]. It's now 3am and I can't sleep b/c the pain is too intense. And now the panic has come back. I don't feel it's anything other than withdrawal b/c it comes and goes and moves from one area to the next. Plus I had a lot of the jerking movements w/ my legs and arms tonight which comes when I'm in a really nasty wave. I shiver as though I'm cold, but I'm not really cold.
I've spent the last hour crying to my husband in bed, wondering why it has to hurt this much at 5 months off. I just don't get how those little pills do this much damage. He constantly reminds me it's our central nervous system healing, and that the CNS Is so intricate and it takes time.
I think back to my mom's mastectomy she had 3 years ago. She had nerve pain under her arm for 2 years after that surgery. So I know nerves can take a long time to heal. And I had bunion surgery done (one foot 2 years ago, and the other foot 1 1/2 years ago) and the last foot still has a lot of nerve damage, although it continues to improve. So I know nerves can do funny things...but it makes sense to me w/ surgery...but this just boggles my mind.
You can tell I'm panicked tonight as I replied to my own thread so many times...just needing to "hear" someone else...so instead I replied to myself.
My daughter has a friend coming over for lunch tomorrow at noon and she is spending the day here...I just hope I can get enough sleep tonight to function while she's here. My husband has the whole week off and he's already stated tonight "remember, I'm here too!". But this is just so tough. I hope this is my last "biggie" wave...b/c it's the biggest by far so far. Constant anxiety, fear, panic, sleep disturbance...not to mention the multitude of physical feelings going on.
This pain really scared me tonight. It is lessening a bit, but now the panic has set in...and I now "nervous ramble" on here.
Thank you so much for listening. You know I'll get through it.