Honesty please, its important to me

Question 1 -If you felt relatively good on your medication and didn't have to get off for a medical reason, knowing everything you know now, would you still go thru withdrawal?

 

Question 2 - If you are over 60 would you still go thru it knowing the years you would give up feeling "crappy"?

 

Question 3 - Did everyone's problems with MSG start with withdrawal?

 

Question 4 - Did the problems with MSG stop with all the other symptoms?

 

I am asking these questions because I also have COPD.   This means when breathing symptoms ramp up I also have to use my oxygen.  Otherwise I only need my oxygen to sleep or if I have done some strenuous work.  I can't exercise as much because of it.  I have to be careful taking walks that I do not get stressed and sick, cause that could put me in the hospital where they would probably hit me with Lorazepam IV and prednisone.  And you know where that would lead.  

 

I just don't know if I want to go through everything and have it all backfire on me.  Please give me some honest opinions.  Right now the only symptom I have is early morning adrenaline (and that might be from MSG the night before).  I tried tapering down to .5 and got very sick there.  I am back up to 2mg and outside of early morning am doing fine.  I take 4 doses a day and last 7, 8, 9 hrs in between.   Please give this senior lady some help.      Edit: I'm 68 years old this Christmas.

I'm 57, so I'm not quite 60...and I don't have any kind of reactions to MSG.

 

To be honest, I have mixed feelings. If I knew for sure that I could get benzos for the rest of my life, I don't know if I could keep on doing this. The problem is I don't have a doc who will prescribe benzos long-term, even to taper. I got mine from an online pharmacy in India that sells Roche-brand Valium, although I flushed some 600 Valium pills when I began this c/t and don't have anything but a small bottle of Xanax that I got a couple of months ago from my MD.

 

On the other hand, I'd been on benzos nearly 14 years when I began this c/t on September 7. (I began taking Xanax in late September 1997, then c/o to Valium in the summer of 1999.) I was really getting tired of being stuck in a state where I "had" to have pills in order to function. I've tried to taper many times but just didn't have the self-discipline to follow through. So, in a way, as bad as I feel, I also feel good because I no longer feel I "have to have benzos" in order to function.

 

I'm only at about 40 percent right now, and am going through a tough wave at the moment, but all in all, I'm glad I'm working my way to a life free of benzos.

 

I hope this makes sense!

 

Tucson

 

Question 1 -If you felt relatively good on your medication and didn't have to get off for a medical reason, knowing everything you know now, would you still go thru withdrawal?  If it were not from tolerance I would have stayed on the Benzo. Why? Because without tolerance. I would have no reason to come off the Benzo.

 

Question 2 - If you are over 60 would you still go thru it knowing the years you would give up feeling "crappy"? I'm 32

 

Question 3 - Did everyone's problems with MSG start with withdrawal? Yes

 

Question 4 - Did the problems with MSG stop with all the other symptoms? I can't say yet.

Hey Popcorn.   I'm only 36 - but I'll give my opinion based on my own experience. 

 

Benzos were no problem for me until after about 8 months of taking the same dose everyday. I started experiecing memory loss, fatigue - and crying spells. That is what prompted me to read about tolerance and why I decided to come off. I was given these meds to help with sleep after post-partum issues, so that is how I started on them.

 

I'm not sure what made you begin to use benzos in the first place, but I guess I would have to ask myself the important question of risk versus benefit when it came to staying on them. If I never had any intolerable or unwanted side effects at a long-term constant dose - then that might have a different risk/benefit profile than if I grew tolerant to a dose, had to increase to maintain the effect, had unwanted side effects, etc.  If I had any issues with benzos that I could see was not worth the long-term use - I'd get off of them. 

 

That being said, my grandmother (in her mid 80's now) has been on xanax at bedtime for years.  She does have memory impairments and other things going on, but I don't think she MINDS  - or - she can't tell.  For me, I noticed all kinds of unwanted issues - and so this journey, while tough, is necessary for me. 

 

I think it must be up to each individual whether or not to manage their life and health issues with any medication.  I certainly don't think anyone but the individual can judge what is best for himself - and nobody else should judge. However, I also think that withdrawal plays tricks on many folks - and wanting to reinstate is probably typical of withdrawal. 

 

If it were me, I'd maybe make a list of real pros-cons on a piece of paper, including why I began taking benzos in the first place, whether or not there were unwanted effects, etc. etc. - and let the rational mind help make the decision.  It's easy for anyone else to encourage or discourage you, but the real decision is yours.  Why did you decide to stop taking them in the first place? To me, that seems a good place to start.

 

:)Parker

Hi -  I'm 75 and stopped taking clorazepate after 17 years on a use as needed basis for chronic vertigo.  I got off because I had reached tolerance and began to have rashes, anxiety and burning tingling skin.  I've been off 15 months and some of the less annoying symptoms have gone away.  The worst for me, burning skin, is still with me and worse than it was a year ago.  However, I have no desire to reinstate.  I wonder what your doctor thinks, given your COPD.  I would hesitate to give you any advice on staying on or getting off when you have a medical condition that requires you to be calm.  In regard to MSG, yes.  I can no longer eat Chinese food or any soy product. I expect that will go away some day, but it is pretty low down on my list of concerns.

 

I hope you find some answers to your issues.  But I would not let your age get in the way,  Paresthesia

Hi Plady,

 

I'll give you my honest response to your questions:

 

1. Knowing what I do now I would still go off the medication.  Thats just me, I have too much knowledge about these meds now to stay on them for any reason. Of course I didn't have that option since I was getting sicker and sicker taking them and my life as I knew it just disappeared. 

 

2. I am 61, luckily I look in my forties (good genes) and act like I'm in my 20's (just a joke).  This is just an installment in what will hopefully be many years of life.  Of course I have wished I was one of the lucky ones to easily withdrawal from benzos. So many times.  Its the "why me" thing.  Even though I might feel awful, there are parts of me that are so much better. I look back and remember the person who was on benzos and don't know who she was.

 

3. I always had trouble with msg and frankly lots of stuff in general.

 

4. Since my sxs haven't stopped I can't answer this one but I would guess not since it always bothered me.

 

I think you got some really understanding comments from Parker.  We each have our own set of issues and health problems to deal with. No one but you can decided what is best. Do you have a good doctor you can talk to about this, I know they are hard to find.  We can't tell you what to do only what we would do.

 

Take care and Hugs,

 

pianogirl 

Quick question:  All the talk about MSG in this thread... are we talking about MSG, the food additive?

 

I know it's not a healthy thing, but seems to me in this thread everybody's talking as if it's common knowledge that benzo W/D is seriously exacerbated by MSG.  If so, I can't say I ever noticed any difference in W/D sx after having eat huge portions of chinese food laden with MSG. Maybe a tiny MSG headache.

 

Anyway, is this the same MSG you all are talking about?

I am talking about the food additive in Chinese and other food.  Paresthesia

I'm 61 and I avoid MSG. Get the MSG headache if I eat it. I just finished a valium taper and I would do it again in a heartbeat. It is so freeing being off the crap. I am still on 10mgs/day of Prozac and plan to start that taper in the spring. For me personally, being drug free is my goal. Having tapered and lived through a lot of junk and depression and anxiety, I now feel fortified with a tool kit of remedies for panic attacks and depression , without drugs. Good luck to you! We over 60 can look forward to mANY years more to come...i want to live mine drug free!

Hi Pianogirl,

Can only answer the first two, because I don't eat Chinese food. Call me crazy for not eating Chinese food - but that's the truth.

 

1. If I didn't have any symptoms of w/d, but I really knew what these drugs do - I mean REALLY knew - I would absolutely stop. It would only have been a matter of time before I would have gone into dependence w/d. So there would have been no real option for me, personally.

 

2. Yes. I have thought about this before, too. I would absolutely go through this.

Honestly, I would not wish this syndrome on anyone with the exception of the medical community for 10 minutes each, so they could see what it is like and therefore have compassion for those going thru it.  Also so that they would NEVER prescribe these drugs to anyone.

 

Popcornlady ... I would never have been able to go thru this without my own strong inner commitment and determination and no one could give me that.  If you don't have that, nothing we could say could convince you to go off the drugs.  Conversely, there is nothing anyone could say to me to get me to go back on.  I would never tell anyone to go off their drugs.  Not my responsibility.

 

MSG ... pfft ... the least of my problems.

On further thought ... if you were my Mom, which isn't possible because you only have ten years on me, and I was sitting with you, holding your hand at the kitchen table, discussing this, I would say "I am so terribly sad that you are in this predicament Mom.  I will firmly support whatever decision you make for yourself and want more than anything for you to be at peace with your decision."  :'(

I didn't really know much about benzos or GABA-agonizing drugs when I was prescribed them. I suffer from severe chronic pain, major depressive disorder, chronic migraine (15+ migraines per month), probably some other things I'm forgetting. I'm 33.

 

The things I was put on did help me (and some of them still continue to). My anti-depressant (because my depression has now morphed into treatment-resistant depression) is the last one I can take before ECT is my only option; it causes severe insomnia. Would I rather not have depression and also sleep? Yes. The Klonopin and Baclofen really help with my migraines. Would I rather take these and have less migraines/take extra doses when I get a migraine to relieve the pain? Yes. I was on Lyrica for what I'll call chronic pain (docs thought it was fibromyalgia, turns out it wasn't). Did it help the pain? Yes.

 

Then one day, I was at my neurologist's office and she asked for my list of meds. Horrified, she said, "No one your age should be on this many meds." Then she input them all into her computer and announced there were something like 30 drug interactions and said, "You'll probably go into a coma one night with all the CNS depressants you're on." Thanks. That was very helpful and reassuring.

 

That's when I started researching these meds. Some of them actually cause depression. I'm already having enough trouble with that. Do I want meds that actually make me more depressed? No. What about sleep? Well, turns out Seroquel works just as well as the benzos and I seem to do fine on that. Would I rather not take anything and be able to sleep? Yes. But I need to sleep and I'm willing to go the Seroquel route. The migraines. I'm getting Botox injections for those, and I just have to resort to alternative therapies that sort of worked in the past (Imitrex, Oxycodone if I'm in horrible pain). Chronic pain. I make myself go to water therapy exercises twice a week. Is it as good as Lyrica? No. But it's one less drug I'm on.

 

I don't like the taper and withdrawal process (and I've only done one so far, of the many I have to go through). It is a scary, daunting, frightening process. I feel like it will take me so long to heal that maybe it's not worth it at all. And yet, I know it is possibly the only way I can heal. I feel pretty crappy now, and I know I'll feel pretty crappy for awhile. But I don't want to spend however long I have on this earth feeling crappy. This is the only way out I can see.

 

MSG - since it gives me migraines, I have to avoid it at all costs. I do like Chinese food though, and am lucky that there are some restaurants near me that prepare MSG free meals.

 

But everyone's decision must be a personal one. Sometimes the benefits outweigh the risks; sometimes they don't. We all have to examine that individually and decide what meds are helping and making our lives better and what meds ultimately hinder our ability to live full, happy lives.

 

Marie

 

 

Tucsondeadhead, Billy F., Parker, Paresthesia, Pianogirl, Albie1, Betty Lou, hanna, Whoopsie, inkerbelle

 

Thank all of you for your honest answers and in doing so, also your support.  I am in a period of reflection and needed to know how other people feel about their withdrawal.  I wish that those who were many months, years out, would have responded.  With my other issues, I just wondered if it is worth putting myself through that kind of pain.

 

I have no memory issues, cog fog, etc., still a smart ole lady.  As well as I am doing in the breathing department (my doc is happy with me) I do still have COPD to deal with.  I need to get my sleep, as it is I don't nap since I did withdrawal.  Panic attacks and anxiety IS NOT good for breathing.

 

Anyway, thanks again!

Popcornlady   

HI Popcornlady,

 

I hope the answers helped a bit as you reflect on how you are doing. I am really impressed that you are managing COPD and the benzos, too. Wow.

 

Thank you for the questions. I thought about these questions again after I posted and just wanted to say-

REALLY GOOD QUESTIONS!!!! I think it helped me to think about those ideas and especially since I am not done yet.

 

Take care.

 

I agree with you Hanna. The questions really made me reflect, as some days, I think - is it really worth it? And Popcorn, I think it's very brave of you to make whatever changes you feel are going to help you while you also have to deal with a chronic illness. That isn't easy. I think it's always a question of weighing the pros and cons of what helps you have the best quality of life.

 

My doctor, who would ideally like to see me come off all the GABA-agonists, told me that the ultimate goal didn't have to be to eliminate everything. The idea was to reduce things down to a manageable load so I was getting the medicines that helped me function and live a quality life and scrap those that were just getting in the way. He doesn't like Klonopin, but he said that for someone with the severe depression that I have, we would need to be careful about the taper/withdrawal because of concerns about suicidal thoughts. He would rather see me on a very small dose and not become suicidal then go of it (and my rocker) completely. So, we do what can to make the healthiest decisions.

 

Your idea of reflection and introspection on the process is always wise.

 

Hugs,

Marie

Hey Popcornlady,

 

To more specifically answer your questions, I'm 55 years old and to quote myself (how pompous is that) here's an excerpt from another post I wrote today:

 

In the end, after years and years of never abusing Ambien, I ended up with an injury and a noxious cocktail of Ambien, Neurontin, Paxil, Vicodin, Xanax and Flexeril. It was nearly the death of me. Throw in caffeine, nicotine and alcohol and I'm sincerely surprised I didn't die. I c/t'd the Xanax, Paxil, Vicodin, Flexeril and Neurontin simultaneously. That was the sickest I've ever been. But during that same time period Ambien use turned to abuse as I needed 3 Ambien C/R 12.5 mg to get a total of 4-5 hours sleep (each Ambien good for about 2 hours) and then another 2 Ambien per day to combat the most intense interdose W/D of any of these drugs. So, yeah, I was taking Ambien all day long, even at work.

 

It was a nightmare of all nightmares. When I finally quit, I did not sleep for 7 nights. Not for 1 minute. Then on the 8th night I slept, albeit horribly, for 45 minutes until I awakened to what sounded like a huge explosion in my brain. The next night I slept 3 hours. It took weeks to get 5 hours. And months to work my way up to 6 to 7 hours sleep. For the first few months I woke up after every sleep cycle i.e. every 1-1/2 hours. And could never sleep past 5 am no matter what time I went to bed.

 

Now it's 16 months later and I typically sleep 7 or 8 hours. I may wake up once, but usually only for a few minutes, though occasionally for a hour or so. I take small amount of melatonin as needed, but try to go without when I can.

 

The whole point being, for all you Ambien and Benzo + A/D + opioid users, there is hope. I've been benzo-free for well going on 3 years now, opiate-free for over 2 years and Ambien-free for 1-1/2 years and getting better and better. I'd say I'm about 85% recovered now. My only remaining symptoms are some sleep interruptions, some occasional morning anxiety and slight fatigue. Though I've had some injuries and other non-benzo-related health issues, so I think I'm doing pretty well. NO more horrific anxiety, insomnia, depression, chills, sweats, muscle twitches and tremors, loss of appetite, etc. etc. etc.

 

My second and last leave of absence ended in May of 2010 and I have not had a single sick day from work since.

 

So, yeah, there is life (and peace and sleep) after benzos and Ambien. I can attest to that.

________

 

That was my post from earlier today, so as you can tell I'm no spring chicken either and in case you couldn't tell, I've been through hell and back. And, I wouldn't want to go through it again, but I have no regrets and am totally willing to get the rest of the way healed. So, yeah, it has been totally worth it to reclaim my life. I wouldn't care if I were 50, 70 or 90, that was no way to live and any part of my life still ahead of me is worth saving and that's exactly what I felt I did and am doing. Was it horrible, painful, terrible, scary and gawd awful going through all of the symptoms of withdrawal?  Absolutely. So much so, if I hadn't have lived through it, I would have thought it would kill a person. Do I have any regrets or any intention of going back?  Absolutely none.

 

Hang in there. Age is all relative anyway. Besides, you'll have enough to worry about just getting through withdrawal without worrying about your age. Just hang in there. You can do this too.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Albie

 

 

HI Popcornlady,

 

I hope the answers helped a bit as you reflect on how you are doing. I am really impressed that you are managing COPD and the benzos, too. Wow.

 

Thank you for the questions. I thought about these questions again after I posted and just wanted to say-

REALLY GOOD QUESTIONS!!!! I think it helped me to think about those ideas and especially since I am not done yet.

 

Take care.

 

 

Thank you Hanna for taking the time to read that it is not just withdrawal that I am dealing with.  Too often people just read quickly and therefore give opinions without all the facts.  Although I do appreciate the fact that I did get replies.

 

All the best to you in your taper.

Popcornlady

1.  Hell yes!  That stuff drugged me and dragged me down and gave me so much tolerance withdrawal that I thought I had everything from brain tumors to leukemia and frequently thought that I was losing my mind.  Even being somewhat comfortable at the dose I was on when I stopped I would do it a thousand times over again and never waiver for a moment.

 

2.  Absolutely!  I think that 2 years (give or take) of your life is a chunk of time no matter how old you are.  Do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like crap because of this stuff?  It's definitely a sucky road to go down, but (as I am reminded by my windows) the payoff is going to be feeling the best you can remember feeling in forever- and for the rest of your life!  You've got a few more decades ahead of you- you might as well enjoy them!

 

I agree with you Hanna. The questions really made me reflect, as some days, I think - is it really worth it? And Popcorn, I think it's very brave of you to make whatever changes you feel are going to help you while you also have to deal with a chronic illness. That isn't easy. I think it's always a question of weighing the pros and cons of what helps you have the best quality of life.

 

My doctor, who would ideally like to see me come off all the GABA-agonists, told me that the ultimate goal didn't have to be to eliminate everything. The idea was to reduce things down to a manageable load so I was getting the medicines that helped me function and live a quality life and scrap those that were just getting in the way. He doesn't like Klonopin, but he said that for someone with the severe depression that I have, we would need to be careful about the taper/withdrawal because of concerns about suicidal thoughts. He would rather see me on a very small dose and not become suicidal then go of it (and my rocker) completely. So, we do what can to make the healthiest decisions.

 

Your idea of reflection and introspection on the process is always wise.

 

Hugs,

Marie

 

Thank you for replying inkerbelle.  I tapered from 3mg down to .5mg.  I got very sick.  I guess I tapered too rapidly.  I had also c/td off of some other meds in a weekend.  That may have been playing a role.  So now I just want to stabilize and decide where to go from here.  With the COPD I really can't afford panic or anxiety attacks.  If I don't stabilize I will have to taper.  I just have to wait and see.  I was interested in others opinions, but will do what I have to.

 

Thanks for understanding,

Popcornlady

Hey Popcornlady,

 

To more specifically answer your questions, I'm 55 years old and to quote myself (how pompous is that) here's an excerpt from another post I wrote today:

 

In the end, after years and years of never abusing Ambien, I ended up with an injury and a noxious cocktail of Ambien, Neurontin, Paxil, Vicodin, Xanax and Flexeril. It was nearly the death of me. Throw in caffeine, nicotine and alcohol and I'm sincerely surprised I didn't die. I c/t'd the Xanax, Paxil, Vicodin, Flexeril and Neurontin simultaneously. That was the sickest I've ever been. But during that same time period Ambien use turned to abuse as I needed 3 Ambien C/R 12.5 mg to get a total of 4-5 hours sleep (each Ambien good for about 2 hours) and then another 2 Ambien per day to combat the most intense interdose W/D of any of these drugs. So, yeah, I was taking Ambien all day long, even at work.

 

It was a nightmare of all nightmares. When I finally quit, I did not sleep for 7 nights. Not for 1 minute. Then on the 8th night I slept, albeit horribly, for 45 minutes until I awakened to what sounded like a huge explosion in my brain. The next night I slept 3 hours. It took weeks to get 5 hours. And months to work my way up to 6 to 7 hours sleep. For the first few months I woke up after every sleep cycle i.e. every 1-1/2 hours. And could never sleep past 5 am no matter what time I went to bed.

 

Now it's 16 months later and I typically sleep 7 or 8 hours. I may wake up once, but usually only for a few minutes, though occasionally for a hour or so. I take small amount of melatonin as needed, but try to go without when I can.

 

The whole point being, for all you Ambien and Benzo + A/D + opioid users, there is hope. I've been benzo-free for well going on 3 years now, opiate-free for over 2 years and Ambien-free for 1-1/2 years and getting better and better. I'd say I'm about 85% recovered now. My only remaining symptoms are some sleep interruptions, some occasional morning anxiety and slight fatigue. Though I've had some injuries and other non-benzo-related health issues, so I think I'm doing pretty well. NO more horrific anxiety, insomnia, depression, chills, sweats, muscle twitches and tremors, loss of appetite, etc. etc. etc.

 

My second and last leave of absence ended in May of 2010 and I have not had a single sick day from work since.

 

So, yeah, there is life (and peace and sleep) after benzos and Ambien. I can attest to that.

________

 

That was my post from earlier today, so as you can tell I'm no spring chicken either and in case you couldn't tell, I've been through hell and back. And, I wouldn't want to go through it again, but I have no regrets and am totally willing to get the rest of the way healed. So, yeah, it has been totally worth it to reclaim my life. I wouldn't care if I were 50, 70 or 90, that was no way to live and any part of my life still ahead of me is worth saving and that's exactly what I felt I did and am doing. Was it horrible, painful, terrible, scary and gawd awful going through all of the symptoms of withdrawal?  Absolutely. So much so, if I hadn't have lived through it, I would have thought it would kill a person. Do I have any regrets or any intention of going back?  Absolutely none.

 

Hang in there. Age is all relative anyway. Besides, you'll have enough to worry about just getting through withdrawal without worrying about your age. Just hang in there. You can do this too.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Albie

 

 

 

Dear Albie, thanks for replying.  I have been tapering from 3mg down to .5mg.  I also went cold turkey from some other meds.  I evidently went too fast in my tape and too soon after my c/t.  I am trying to stabilize and then will decide what to do.

 

Thanks for your support.

Popcornlady

1.  Hell yes!  That stuff drugged me and dragged me down and gave me so much tolerance withdrawal that I thought I had everything from brain tumors to leukemia and frequently thought that I was losing my mind.  Even being somewhat comfortable at the dose I was on when I stopped I would do it a thousand times over again and never waiver for a moment.

 

2.  Absolutely!  I think that 2 years (give or take) of your life is a chunk of time no matter how old you are.  Do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like crap because of this stuff?  It's definitely a sucky road to go down, but (as I am reminded by my windows) the payoff is going to be feeling the best you can remember feeling in forever- and for the rest of your life!  You've got a few more decades ahead of you- you might as well enjoy them!

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for responding Sweet g,  Yes, I too, want a quality of life.  But if that quality depends on one pill to get me there, then I will take it.  I had enough of the taper withdrawal symptoms and the cold turkey symptoms that I really don't want to have to deal with that if I don't have to.

If I get interdose w/d symptoms, you can bet I will taper.  But it will be a slow taper, not one where I was racing to be done by a certain date.  We all want the best possible life, and we have to make our decisions on what that is.  I was interested in getting other peoples opinions.  It's just that I picked a subject that is TABOO around here.  I still appreciate all the replies I received.

 

Thank you for your support and encouragement that I still have a lot of life left.  I intend to enjoy it to the hilt.  I have been down the path holding the hands of my grandmother, grandfather, a special aunt, special uncle, and a dear mother who all had their own "cancers/illnesses" to deal with.  I am a strong individual.

 

Take care,

Popcornlady

I agree that taper can definitely been done far more gently than they typically are.  What I see time and time again are people cutting, getting sick, and then wanting to rush off of these things because they realize how sick it was making them- though technically it's the *not* taking them that is making them sick.

 

I don't think that there is anything wrong with chilling out for a while where you're at and I agree that if you move to get off of them it should be done gently and slowly.

 

Best wishes.

 

hey miss popcorn - i am so glad i saw your post - just because you are someon who i feel as been shoulder to  shoulder to me on this crazy ride of wd, and  i did not know u were going thru this.  i sure do know what it's like to get a thought in my head...

i don't know sweetheart - i am not a young person either.  next week i will have 28 years in aa.  i have helped a lot of people get thru a lot of things.  getting sober was a walk next to this.  i have never in my life had my body scream so much for something as in this w/d.  it has been beyond belief; extremely difficult.  my nurse friend told me the copd you have is a rough thing to have.  i am so sorry u have that on your plate as well.

i guess i just care about you and i want to encourage you to continue focusing on getting off benzos.  i just hate them so much.  i don't see how it can possibly help anyone with anything in the long run.  it is so extremely addicting that it will take more and more and the tol w/d was what i had.  i was stressed like crazy when i did not take it. 

60 is today's 40 - you have the chance of a couple more great decades.  a year of healing is worth it.  i am learning how imp it is i learn to relax.  i know it's hard - my blood pressure is really really high and i worry that i will have a stroke or heart attack - even the bp meds allow it to spike thru this.  it's nuts.  i just want you to be safe.

i think part of w/d for me has been all this thinking that i am getting old and what's the point...i get so darn sick it's crazy.  but the way out is thru and we are doing it. 

please don't be offended my any of my thoughts ; just thinking out loud.  u r such a blessing to us on here.  i believe in this healing for you.  we can do it one day at a time.  relaxing talk cd's help me a lot and i do this relax thing in my entire body on and off constantly; hard to explain.  and faith and people praying with me.  it's tough; i know that.  reading success stories helps me too;  i am here for you.

my friend who is a therapist said these drugs are killing people more than anything else is - even heart disease.  not sure how documented that is but the wash post just did a piece cited on here about how prevalent they are.  the poop has to hit the fan here soon.  it's just too nuts

Thanks for your support, Popcornlady. My taper is going well right now, so I am enjoying this reprieve. Every good day is a blessing.

 

I really do think you are doing amazing work. I think, having read through this post again, that you are dealing with two very difficult problems. I know people with COPD and that in itself, I think, is a challenge. I really agree with your thought that it is all about the quality of life. At the end of the day, we are not here to prove anything to anyone, but in my opinion, we are here to engage in the day. However you decide to do it - it will be the best decision for you. All my thoughts of support coming your way.

 

P.S. I have always enjoyed your name of Popcornlady ever since I joined BB. Makes me smile. Thank you.