It's Finally Over!!

I just wanted to post my “Success Story” for those of you out there that feel like this will never end.  When you're experiencing the withdrawal symptoms it feels like eternity and it's the worst nightmare you never even could have imagined, whether you've been going through it for 2 weeks or 2 years.  I was one of the lucky few who was only on Benzos for a short time and even luckier that my withdrawal only lasted about 3 weeks.  But the terror and memories of it all will probably always stay with me the rest of my life.  It was definitely a learning experience and finally I feel back to myself again. 

The last 5 weeks of my life has been a rollercoaster and I can only imagine how awful it must be for those of you who have had to endure it for much longer periods of time.  I had almost every symptom there was and most of the time thought my hearing, vision, and sleep patterns were permanently damaged because of those pills.  The anxiety was terrifying, but I thought I could live with it if I had to, but, the intrusive thoughts made me think I was going out of my mind.  I could relate to so many of the threads I read in the forum and it was both comforting and scary all at once.  I was scared I would never heal or that it would last for months, but comforted that I was not alone.

A wise family member told me, “If you’re worried about losing your mind then you’re definitely not going to!  People who have lost their mind aren’t even aware they’ve lost it.”  This made me think back to the Psych hospital and I remembered the majority of people I encountered had almost no idea what was going on or even what their name was.  So I realized, “hey, I guess you’re right!” I referred back to that comment many times during this experience.

Please know that if you were “normal” before you WILL be normal again, I was told this over and over by friends and family, and it was the only thing I had to provide me some comfort.  I can honestly say now, that they were right!  I finally feel “normal” again and can sleep a decent night’s sleep and it’s just as wonderful as I remembered!  I have a new found appreciation for the small things in life and I know that it will happen for all of you too.  I wish you all the best of luck and always include the members of this sight in my bedtime prayers.  Please have faith that you will get through this and don’t be discouraged when you have a bad day.  Push through it and keep on keepin’ on. 

Congratulations! So glad your suffering didn't last very long. It's nice to read success stories. Gives the rest of us hope.

The last 5 weeks of my life has been a rollercoaster and I can only imagine how awful it must be for those of you who have had to endure it for much longer periods of time.

 

Sorry to hear of this. I know writing a success story helps us so much. (Personally)

 

Congrats 

 

A few questions-

Do you feel 100% better?

Do you work again? Go out like before? Drive? Socialize?

No physical symptoms?

Do you feel 100% like you did before the benzo?

Can you travel long distances?

 

Thanks you.

 

 

Congrats on your healing!!! Very happy for you that your suffering did not last long. Thank you so much for sharing your healing and success with us.

You're right. Probably if you wonder if you're losing your mind, you aren't.

 

I shudder to think of all the people walking around with interdose withdrawals wondering if they're losing their mind, or those who know they're in benzo w/d who don't understand that what they're experiencing is due to w/d.

 

Nice to have someone post a success story who had a short recovery. Congratulations!

Thank you all very much for the kind words.

 

Sigma- To answer all your questions, Yes!!    I returned to work on 09/19 and that whole 1st week back to work was terrible, but I forced myself to stick it out.  Now, I feel 100% better and back to my normal self.  I waited until a full week passed before I posted my success story to make sure I was better.  I knew after I could take my usual lunch time nap that I was back to normal.

 

yram- I shudder at the thought too.  It was what happened to me and I had no idea I was experiencing w/d so I ran to the 1st mental hospital that was available, I really thought I was going to be a vegetable.  It was horrifying.

One question, and I mean this with absolute respect.  If the terror is still with you, how do you consider yourself healed?  Just the first thing that comes to my mind, and I'm not trying to rob anything from you; I'm only curious.

Congrats   

 

Popcornlady

Hi WTBNA- I think you misunderstood what I meant, I only mean that the terror of what happened will stay with me as a memory.  I do not feel terror or panic any more, only that when I think back on what happened it reminds me of the terror I felt.  You can't forget something so traumatic especially if you were in a mental hospital and witnessed things you thought only happened in movies.  I never in my worst nightmares imagined I would have experienced a place like that or the state of mind that I was in.  I didn't even think it was possible.  To know that at any moment something like that can take over your mind is frightening and always will be.  But, the panic goes away and your mind is restored to logical thinking, you're able to review what happened and know that it's a thing of the past, but you still shudder at the thought of when it was taking place.  Hope that makes more sense to you.

Congratulations, ScaredNewbie....that is wonderful news and once again gives us all great hope for our own healing!

 

Enjoy your benzo-free life...awesome news and I'm SO happy for you! 

 

All my best,

Schatje

I understand.  I had the same thing at the mental hospital.  Perhaps one day the emotional memory will fade away.  I remember having a near fatal accident 15 years ago, and the memory haunted me for a while, but finally I can look back at it in a positive way.  I'm hard pressed to imagine that I could do this one like that, but who knows...

I know it will fade, it's already much better and it will be for you too.  It just takes time unfortunately and hopefully not too much.

Bump

I was on a benzo for two weeks as well. It’s great you healed so quickly. As for me  I suffered acute for 2 months. I thought it was all over save for tinnitus and very mild palpitations for 3 months. On the 5th I suddenly had the most severe symptoms, insomnia, mental confusion, DP/DR, difficulty breathing, difficulty urinating, stroke-like sensations due to the neurotoxicity of insomnia which left me with genital anaesthesia, extreme pain in the abdomen.

All resolved save for the genital anaesthesia and tinnitus... Yet I don’t want to call it a success story yet.

I hope you won’t have another wave like me.