Social anxiety

One of the reasons I was put on Klonopin was because of severe social anxiety. During my taper, it seems worse than ever. I'm wondering how I will know if I recovered if my social anxiety is going to be with me for the rest of my life? I can understand recognizing recovery in people that were put on the drugs for sleeping problems, nervous tics, etc. but it's not like social anxiety will just disappear after all this is over. I think leaving work because of the taper and avoiding society is also taking a huge hit on it too.

 

I couldn't find any success stories regarding this problem. Can anyone explain how this works?

 

Thank you

charlie

I think we all need to work on ways of coping with whatever it was that got us on benzos in the first place while we are tapering so we have some tools when we are off.  I've had social anxiety since I was a child and it has been way worse in the last 10 years or so.  The techniques I learned to calm myself and some "exposure" therapy keeps me able to socialize and even be in large crowds which would panic me before.  I don't think that would have happened on it's own.

Charlieday

 

Social anxiety is a very common w/d symptom.  So this is very likely no indication of what your future will look like even tho it feels that way.  You may have issues to deal with after you withdraw, but they will not be what you are experiencing in w/d.  This is your body fighting a chemical battle, it's not the same thing.  And when you are done with this and ready to join the world again, there is a chance the issue may no longer exist, and if it does, then there non-pharmacutical options such as CBT etc that have been found to be very effective for finding relief.

 

WWWI

Hi Charlie, I've also had this problem, and worried allot about what was gonna happen when the WD started to subside. I was put on xanax for social anxiety, and insomnia, something I've had my whole life, since I was just a little kid. The xanax helped a bit for a while, but just a while, once tolerance set in my social anxiety sky rocketed, and only got worse during tapering. By the end of my taper it had turned into full fledged agoraphobia, I quit my job, shut every one out, and locked myself in my house refusing to leave no matter what. The social anxiety was so bad I can't even explain it...But I think you might understand.

 

I have to tell you that recently in my recovery the social anxiety has been improving, it's still there, but I am now able to leave my house, and talk to people several times a week. The drugs made my anxiety so much worse, and once the WD anxiety started to subside the old anxiety doesn't seem as bad as I had remembered it before drugs...It's still the same social anxiety I had before benzos...I think...it's been so long, but compared to the anxiety I've felt during tolerance, and withdrawl it seems like next to nothing.

 

I think once you've experienced the type of anxiety WD causes that the old anxiety will be a welcomed treat by contrast, and you'll be better equipped to deal with it then before. I like to think of my experience with these drugs as a crash course in dealing with extreme mental states...I thought I knew what anxiety was before the drugs turned there ugly head on me...I had no idea.

 

I think after all you've been through, you'll find a way to muster up the courage to face the world again, and I wish you luck.

Hi Charlie,

 

I'm glad you started this thread as I've asked myself this question many times.  Like everyone else here I've had performance/social anxiety ever since I can remember anything, but I do know that I was still able to attend social functions, have friends, work, be a part of the world in other words.  I was put on Effexor for hormone-related depression back in 2003 and after a year on that drug my anxiety went through the roof.  I was also sleeping 2-3 hours a night.  That's when I was given Klonopin for the anxiety and insomnia.  I stopped taking the Effexor in 2004, so that's long gone thank heavens, but now like you I wonder what my "natural" anxiety level will be once I'm through the worst of w/d. 

 

I can say that at three months out I know for sure that my previous problems with anxiety and insomnia were nowhere near as intense as they are now.  In the last week or two I've noticed a little improvement--I wish it were a little faster in coming however.  My point is that I have reason to believe that things do get better than they were in tolerance w/d, during the taper, and in early w/d.

 

 

KcLee

 

Thank you for your words of hope.  I'm curious as to when it was that you started to notice significant improvement, at what point in your recovery did this happen for you.  Like you my anxiety worsened after about a year on Klonopin, continued to get worse for the six years I was on it (didn't know why at the time), and then got even worse during the taper and is still pretty intense three months out.  I'm fortunate in that I've only had brief periods of agoraphobia, but the performance/social anxiety is still too intense for me to return to work.  I'm able to run errands, go to the gym, and do some "light" socializing (no parties yet!), but I know I couldn't take the pressure of a full-time job.  This is my greatest fear--that benzos have permanently disabled me and I'll never be able to return to gainful employment.  I'm haunted by this fear.

 

Mal

 

Hi Charlie,

 

I have developed Social anxiety too, something I never had before benzos at all, in fact I used to be a part-time entertainer - now when I go out I don't like places with lots of people in them, not all the time but most of the time.

 

If you had it before then chances are it may still be there down the line of healing but then again maybe it won't. I hope goes away for you.

 

One thing I know is that my anxiety was absolutley tiny (I thought it was huge at the time) when I was given (again) an SSRI, it increased on commencement and was told "things get worse before they get better" but here is some valium to help "take the edge off it" which it did for about 10 days and then things got worse again and I was told to continue taking them both and once again heard "thing's get worse before they get better"

 

The point is, is that my anxiety is now 1000 times worse than it was before I started, so hopefully as you heal your social anxiety will lessen and lessen hopefully to a lower level than you started with, it might even dissapear, who knows, but I sincerely hope it does for you.

Hey I thought I'd share my story with you.   So you know you are not alone.

 

 

I am a 22 year old male.  I've had severe SA since the 6th grade.  I never made any friends, and by time I made it to high school,  I would have panic attacks so bad, I would walk out of school in the mornings and go home.  I dropped out when I was 16 due to this.  

 

 

I am also one of those SA sufferers who are not introverted,  or at least do not want to be,  I always hated being alone and felt like I was always wasting my life away while everyone else lived theirs.  I wanted to still have a great life,  lots of friends,  a meaning,  and be comfortable in my own skin.

 

 

I got placed on Xanax at one point as a teen,  it enabled me to find a job at a grocery store,  where I started stealing a 5th of liquor every time I worked and eventually became a alcoholic.  

 

 

I just recently became benzo and alcohol free,  and I wish I made the decision way earlier.  Because of mixing benzos with alcohol,  I would sometimes end up getting in the car and driving somewhere when I shouldn't have.

 

 

I just recently received two DUI's in the past month.  This means I will face definite jail time, in fact I know I will because I am on warrants right now, I did not show for my court date because I know I will lose my apt and I have family that want's nothing to do with me, so I will be homeless.   And when I get sentenced for the second DUI I will lose my license for a year.

 

 

Now here comes the worst part.  My family never understood my SA.  My dad was always a hard working sociable man,  so as soon as I started acting out I was kicked out of the house.  

 

 

I have always been a computer nerd,  and for employment, I did freelance computer programming, design, etc.   This did not help at all.  As I would sit in my apartment alone day after day and not have contact with a real life friend/family/or acquaintance for some times weeks on end.  And when someone did call me up wanting to hang out,  I would have to be heavily medicated to do so.  

 

 

I am currently completely benzo/alcohol free and have been for about a week.  The anxiety and depression hurts like hell.  And knowing that soon I will have to turn myself in, do jail time (scary), and will be homeless when I get out, makes this even worse.  

 

 

Sorry for the long story,  but I just wanted to let you know that your doing better than some others,  and I feel for you.  And it's a good thing your getting off benzos now,  before something bad like this happens to you.  

 

 

Search for a therapist that specializes in Social Anxiety.  I found one that did wonders for me at one point.  But the part where you have to keep going and pick yourself up when you fall,  I wasn't so good at.  I eventually relapsed and stopped seeing her... I think back on it,  if I had stayed with the therapy and sober,  I would be so better off right now..

 

Good luck with your quest

I have had Social Anxiety most of my life. I have always been shy but not to the point where I couldn't function. I always had friends when I was young. I just never felt comfortable in social situations. When I went out with my first boyfriend, I never got over being extremely nervous the whole time we were together. Then something weird happened. I went to college and my parents told me I had to join a sorority. Joining a sorority involves going to all these little parties and if you don't socialize you won't get picked. Like a switch being turned on, I became a regular chatterbox. Not only did I join a sorority but I became one of the officers. I remained very social throughout college and during my first jobs after college. Once someone told me that I was the most confident person they had ever known. I was flabbergasted. Even though I was sociable at this point, I was still incredibly insecure. I just kept that part of me hidden. I think the fear of what would happen if I wasn't sociable was greater than my social anxiety.

When I got married and had children, I didn't feel the need to socialize outside of my family. I can function talking to people casually at the store but I don't make any effort to make friends. I think there is a difference between talking to strangers who I may only see once and maintaining relationships with people. I don't like the pressure of trying to say the right thing so people will like me. Inevitably I always say the wrong thing eventually. I am never going to be one of those people who everyone likes because I can't change my basic personality. At this point in my life, it is less stressful to avoid social situations. I have my husband and my kids (who are all grown).

I don't think you will ever totally get rid of your social anxiety because that is part of who you are. You just have to learn ways to manage it. In my case, I was able to overcome it when I had to but I still prefer to avoid social situations.

Hey I thought I'd share my story with you.   So you know you are not alone.

 

 

I have always been a computer nerd,  and for employment, I did freelance computer programming, design, etc.   This did not help at all.  As I would sit in my apartment alone day after day and not have contact with a real life friend/family/or acquaintance for some times weeks on end.  And when someone did call me up wanting to hang out,  I would have to be heavily medicated to do so.  

 

 

Good luck with your quest

Chasek, I wanted to tell you that you have a lot of similarities to my son, who is also 22 and a computer nerd. He has always had social anxiety, but unlike you, I don't think he really cared whether he had friends or not. He had trouble going to school. His worst problem was that he hated any kind of attention, even positive attention. When a teacher would say something nice about his schoolwork, instead of motivating him, it made him want to be even more invisible.

The odd thing is that he has always had friends but he will never initiate any contact with them. If they want to do something with him, they have to call him. Until recently, he wouldn't even call them back. His friends seem to understand.

When my son was through with school and got his own apartment, we thought he would become more isolated. However, he keeps surprising us. I think one of the things that helped him was communicating with people over the internet. It allowed him to socialize in a safe way so that when he did have to socialize over the phone or in person, it wasn't as difficult. He doesn't do a lot of cooking, so he goes out almost every day to get food. Even though it isn't really socializing, each time he has to order a meal he has to interact with someone. He does all his work at home on his computer so he doesn't have to worry about a stressful work environment. However, he has many occasions when he has to contact someone to help him with his work.

Maybe it depends on the person, but in his case, I think the key is that he has total control over when and how much he socializes. When he was in school, he was forced into situations he wasn't ready to handle. I think that being able to take baby steps to help him become comfortable with social situations has been really helpful. He goes out with friends every week or two. He has never had a girlfriend. That will take a bit longer I suspect.

In my case, I find it easier to socialize with complete strangers, so you might try that before you try to deal with the stress of spending a day with a friend. Start small. I might ask someone who waits on me how they got their job. It doesn't matter what it is. The reason it works is because you won't ever have to see that person again so you don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself. It is sort of the way that people get over agoraphobia. First they take one step out of their house and over time they venture a little further. When you are ready to see friends, try to do something that would be the least stressful for you. Going to a movie might work because you only have to socialize a bit before and after the movie. Or you might feel more comfortable having them over to your house.

I am worried at how being in jail will affect your social anxiety. Does your therapist have any ideas? Can you get therapy while you are in jail?

I have been tapering off Klonopin and I wonder the same thing.

 

The last week was bad in regards to my social issues. I haven't returned any phone calls and I haven't gone out of my house much. I have made a nice cut and am taking less klonopin than I have in the last few years. I have been taking this drug daily for 5-6 years now and was at 4mg at a point. I am now taking .5mg each day and some of my anxiety has gone away. In fact the drug was having paradoxical effects for a while and was making my anxiety worse in some ways.

 

But I still have social anxiety. I always have and I think it just has to do with getting comfortable with yourself and with being around others. I don't think there is anymore to it than putting yourself in social settings and just realizing it isn't that bad.

 

I also used opiates to help with my social anxiety. They helped a lot but I really just want to stop using all drugs. I don't want to depend on a pill for the rest of my life. I don't want to be dependent on pills in order to do something like talk to people.

 

I feel your pain my friend. In fact the reason I started using drugs was because I was so anxious when I was in school and surrounded by others no matter where I was. I think the major key here is to not care what others think about you. You have to let that part of you go. If someone doesn't like you for who you are than that is their problem, not yours.

 

I hope to finish my taper from klonopin over the next month or so. I hope that my social anxiety isn't as bad as it once was.

 

But I have two choices. I stay inside and stay afraid or I go out and live.

 

Best of luck.

 

Jon

I seem to recall from the Ashton manual a statement that the reasons we started taking benzos often are less after w/d than before you ever started benzos.

 

I couldn't find the quote.  But it has given me hope that I will not revert back to all my old ways of feeling, that actually time has healed some things.

 

Maybe even just going through this withdrawal makes us stronger as people??

I remember that too Healthybodyandmind.  Something about people who suffered from Panic/Anxiety, but after surviving w/d, it was as if  the original symptoms were like childs play in comparison.  Stronger people, very possibly.  Also a very new and different perspective on what we can really  tolerate when required.

Thanks for the back up WWWI, 

 

and if it's just fantasy, well I say hopeful thinking is probably a good thing.

 

Hi,

As you may already know I have bad social anxiety too. I was always shy as a child, but I was still very close to my good friends and loved to play and spend time with them. Then everything changed Freshman year of high school, when my mom chose to force medications on me for a nervous tick. I like to think it was the meds that then caused everything to go haywire, but I'm still not 100% sure. All I know is that after that, as my mom bounced me from medication to medication (because the drs would say "It's not doing anything? Then it's not the right one - try this.) I unraveled, and could not function. I'd skip school just to go home to sleep because the meds were completely knocking me out. Of course, no one knew it was the meds, including me, so that led to only more drugs. The social anxiety at this point prevented me from talking to anyone. I lost all my friends. My entire days were spent on the couch wasting time. When I was finally old enough to choose not to take the drugs I felt better. My energy was normal again. Still had social anxiety though.

 

I remember I had an internship a few years ago (when I was drug free) and they wanted me to teach a bunch of kids about something.... I couldn't do it. I just backed out. I didn't know of any other option.

 

In withdrawal..... I never knew social anxiety could be this bad. I'm 4.5 months out and it's really, really hard. I think if I weren't in school, and if I just had a steady, not over-stimulating job, then I could feel a lot more stable.