I've developed the strangest fear

Hi everyone,

I'm a little over 2 months benzo free and by far my worst symptom is insomnia.  I've never known insomnia like this--there are some nights I don't sleep at all, zero, zilch, nada.  But my usual is 2-4 hours, which I've been getting in this pattern.  I get sleepy around 10:30, so I'm usually able to sleep from about 11:00 to 1:00, but then I'm wide awake.  Up until a week or so ago, I was able to go back to sleep around 4:30 and sleep for another hour or two.  But now, on top of the normal sleep anxiety I feel from chronic insomnia, I seem to have developed not only a fear of the dark, which I didn't have since I was a little kid, but also some kind of strange fear of sleeping when it's dark outside.  What happens is that once the sun is starting to come up, around 6:00 am, and I see light outside, I start to get sleepy and feel like it's okay or safe to go to sleep.  What the heck is that?  I've never heard of such a thing in my life.  Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?  What's going on?  Has the lack of sleep made me totally crazy?

Mal

Hi everyone,

 

I'm a little over 2 months benzo free and by far my worst symptom is insomnia.  I've never known insomnia like this--there are some nights I don't sleep at all, zero, zilch, nada.  But my usual is 2-4 hours, which I've been getting in this pattern.  I get sleepy around 10:30, so I'm usually able to sleep from about 11:00 to 1:00, but then I'm wide awake.   Up until a week or so ago, I was able to go back to sleep around 4:30 and sleep for another hour or two.  But now, on top of the normal sleep anxiety I feel from chronic insomnia, I seem to have developed not only a fear of the dark, which I didn't have since I was a little kid, but also some kind of strange fear of sleeping when it's dark outside.  What happens is that once the sun is starting to come up, around 6:00 am, and I see light outside, I start to get sleepy and feel like it's okay or safe to go to sleep.  What the heck is that?  I've never heard of such a thing in my life.  Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?  What's going on?  Has the lack of sleep made me totally crazy?

 

Mal

In my experience, lack of sleep can not only amplify fears and internal troubles already there, but can make new ones. I have the inverse problem: when its daytime or the sun's rising I feel anxiety and a terrible sense of dread. The same approach may work for both, as hard as it is for me as well: radical acceptance. Be afraid and do your thing anyway, which may simply be in your case laying down and resting. Focus on rest, not sleep... sometimes sleep comes sneakily in a good way. It did for me. Mostly.

Hi Mal,

I start getting anxious when the sun goes down. My problem is mostly falling asleep but now it's also staying asleep. The anxiety that accompanies insomnia is horrific. I wonder everyday if I will ever sleep normally. I had a good window then a hard wave that made me feel like my progress was completely wiped out bc it revs up the sleep anxiety. I have to hope that we will heal from this. My other sxs are manageable except this one. Praying for you...

Jittery

I notice that often that on my really bad nights I don't fall asleep until the sun comes up. When it begins to lighten, I suddenly become so exhausted I fall asleep, as if my mind is finally letting my body relax. Withdrawal does such weird things to us and our emotions and our body. You're not alone!!

Hi Mal,

 

I start getting anxious when the sun goes down. My problem is mostly falling asleep but now it's also staying asleep. The anxiety that accompanies insomnia is horrific. I wonder everyday if I will ever sleep normally. I had a good window then a hard wave that made me feel like my progress was completely wiped out bc it revs up the sleep anxiety. I have to hope that we will heal from this. My other sxs are manageable except this one. Praying for you...

 

Jittery

I start getting anxious when the sun goes down.

I have this as well, the term for it is "Sundowning".

I never had it prior to withdrawal.

Here is an older post about it-

Holy moley, Pamster. Just read your history at the bottom of your post

 

To c/t from that amount is unreal. I'll admit I'm curious, but I just don't want to hear the hell you must have went through. Hope all is well with you now.

 

This is how dumb I am......my accupuncturist just asked me Thursday (regarding my anxiety) if I'm "sundowning?"

 

I said, "what's that?"

 

She says that "many people with anxiety seem to have it really bad around sunset/ dinnertime."

 

I said, "well no, I haven't had that. Dinner's a good time for me."

 

Well, ever since then, guess what.....I'm sundowning. Just now I went to pick up some takeout Italian and went into a pretty bad anxiety attack....couldn't wait to pay and get out of there.

 

Now, did the accupuncturist plant the seed in my mind, or is it just a naturally occuring coincidence? Who knows, but that's the kind of stuff that drives me crazy.

 

I think if someone told me I was gonna grow horns out of the top of my head, I'd sure enough do it.

Why can't the power of suggestion work for positive effects such as:

'you're not going to have any anxiety coming off your benzo'??