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Forced To Fight...And Win! 15 months Healed Yes....


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WOW...

I don't even know where to start! My God ..I have been holding off on this 1!!!

For all of you who know me and have guided me thru the last 8 months of my extremely Lonely experience thru Benzo W/D Have my Heart and have all my Respect!!!

Guys I cant even begin to say thank you I couldn't even put into words the In print all of you have made for me ...Guardian Angels is who you are to me I am truly Honored for you all...Thank You I mean it with all my heart Thank You! :'(

OK here we go I am a c/t of 20 mil of Valium and suffered severe shock to my CNS and my Brain had 6 er trips over the first 8 weeks of c/t I had no idea what was wrong neither did the Dr's.Other then it was me doing this to myself! So not true.. I knew it was this med and I knew that I was going to be forced to fight for my Life with 0 help...

Long story short I am a 38 yr old woman had 4 children ,4 yr old daughter who passed from brain cancer,3 separations from husband of 17 yrs,Car accident, 14 procedures way to many Narcotics had Sciatic nerve damage ,2 kidney surgery's 50 kidney stones and Then came Benzo withdrawl Oh boy ..I was done this was truly going to break me and bring me to my knees on so many occasions during this w/d ..But I didn't care I had no option in my opinion It was Fight,or Die Fighting that's it .So that's what I did and it payed off huge..I was bedridden come month 3 to month 6 and didn't see a light coming my way so scary but I had excepted what I had done in the fact of my c/t and it made it easier to accept  for me!Come month 7 window that never truly shut what a miracle I sware I was feeling like me again and that "Ground Hogs Day" was gone !!That's when I found BB and I knew 1 thing we heal from this most extreme experience and need to let every1 know Hang in there this does end!! It so bothered me and made me so upset to think any1 else was going thru this ,So I dedicated my Heart and yes my Soul to all of BB the best I could to bring Comfort and Peace and just me ya know as a friend to let you know ..As bad as your feeling and as scary as this is You are not Alone ..And you will get thru this I so Promise you! I remember at month 5 I was bad really bad I prayed to God and I said if you need me here ..Then ok...But pls don't let me fall..I knew then I had to learn some stuff and this was going to be the challenge amongst challenges But I am so Grateful I never Fell! So I am so thankful I went thru this because I have gained the most amazing friendships in all of you..Well now I'm at month 15 on Sunday and I have a few mild sxs ,Muscles twitch little discomfort,small lump in my throat and spasms from time to time ..Whoo hoo that's so cool .I cant believe it.If your not aware of my story and all my sxs there on my blog page 6 i believe..Just know this...YOU are going to heal and you are going to be you again and even when your body and mind are at there worst and you cant see Straight ..Look Up! And look for that Hand to lift you thru this time !! Hang in there every1 and I can say with Conviction This Ends...

 

So much Love to all of you and I could never ever have gotton thru the last 8 months with all of you ...

xoxoxoxox~Jaso19 Jenny aka Jennifer

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Oh Yea I forgot...

IM LIVEING AGAIN .... :yippee: Every single day all day...Thats Healed

And so will you...

 

 

~J

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WOW...I got teary eyed reading your success story.  

 

Congratulations BIG TIME!!!  I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you.  You inspire people on this forum - I see it all the time...and now for all of us to read this only inspires us even more!  I never knew all that you have been through - you are SO strong.  

 

All the best to your healthy and very happy future...hugs,

Schatje

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Jwow,

 

Awww my girlie!  I am so happy that you wrote your success story.  I know you were hit really, really hard with withdrawal.  You are so strong and tough, no doubt traits that helped get you through this!  You have helped so many people here and given so many hope.  Now with your success story that is an ongoing legacy.  Thank you for sharing we need to hear this stuff!

 

All the best to you!

:smitten:

Tamzo aka Snooks

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Wow Jenny :angel:, I think we have all been waiting for this.  I am  so very happy for you.  Proud of you to.  You have pulled me up from doom and gloom many times and I thank you for this.  Linder xo
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Congratulations!!!  :yippee: Enjoy your life    8)

 

And you will get thru this I so Promise you! Just know this...YOU are going to heal and you are going to be you again and even when your body and mind are at there worst and you cant see Straight

 

I am very bad with writing right now. Just to say thank you for sharing your success story. It means me a lot as for many of us still struggling.

 

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I am so happy for you Jenny.  You give us all hope !  Thank you for being here and cheering others on, when they are suffering and miserable.  Please don't leave us ! :laugh:

 

You have really been through a lot in your 38 young years....and what a trooper you are.   :yippee:  I am so happy to know such a strong, courageous, loving....young woman.  

 

[move]Go Jenny, Go !  You are awesome ![/move]   :smitten:  :smitten:

 

Love,

Sunny girl

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Dear Jenny/JWow,

 

Thank you for sharing your success story and your inspiring words toward acceptance and trust. You have been a big part of my initial recovery here on BB's and I am truly grateful to have gotten to meet you and share in this process with you and to have some fun at the same time.

 

You're an east coast angel, and you always will be for me (and clearly for many), sweet Jaso from Jersey. :angel:

 

Much love and many blessings for your continued healing and on going well being,

your friend,

Gracie-KPow~

:smitten:

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You KNOW...and God knows...what your story and what your support and encouragement has meant to me!  You are a sister to me in so many ways!  I pray I can only pay you back some day for all that you've done.  Know that I am praying for you and your family!

 

Love ya!

Mary

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My gosh Jen, looking at all the things you've been through plus this?  You are a true inspiration to us all, a real fighter.  The light that shines from your spirit has been a comfort to us all, you always have known just the right thing to say when any one of us was struggling.  You are a gift!  May the Lord reward you for your never ending faith through this.  I am so deeply happy for you!
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Hi Jenny, one of the most inspiring success stories I have read. All the more meaningful because Ive followed you for a long time. You are hard to miss girly. Always positive, kind and helpful. So much more I dont have words for. I loved visiting your blog and reading about the fun you Jersey girls were having at the Karma on Fridays lol. Your posts made me cry too, and as I think you know I hate to cry. That was good for me too. I truly love you Jenny, wont forget you ever. Thankyou for being here and helping me through all the hard days. You have made a difference here. You deserve so much happiness and peace. Congratulations on your healing. Feel better every day. Love, Colleen
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[65...]

Jenny!  

 

I am so happy that you are feeling so well.  You are so compassionate and I really appreciate all the time we had together here on the forum and in chat.  You really helped me during acute withdrawal and you have a special place in my heart.  

 

Peace, love and light,

M

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Jenny! Took you long enough to write this :)

 

Congratulations and I hope you have a very long and very happy life :)

 

xo

Pete

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Yay Jenny!!!

 

How wonderful to log on to BB's and to see that you have posted a success story!

 

I am truly happy for you....this has been a long time coming!

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Thank you so much for sharing your story Jenny.  What you have gone thru brings this quote to mind:  "That which brings light must endure burning."  Victor Frankl

 

You shine very brightly.  :)

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Jenny, how great it is to see and read your post. You are so special and so amazing to so many members on here. You have been through so much. i am so happy that you are saying you are healed. That is amazing. It gives me hope. I have felt so down the last month or so and I am glad to see that it really WILL happen one day. I will NOT feel like this forever!

 

congratulations. You are a fighter and true inspiration. Enjoy your life as it is meant to be lived! :smitten:

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[67...]

Jenny-

Hi there, girlfriend. :) SO happy to see you HEALED, happy and back to LIFE again!! I remember when I first met you, you were about 9 months off, if I'm correct and still struggling some. You always took the time out to help others, however, who were coming up the course behind you. You are an amazing woman and you will not be forgotten for all that you've done to help those of us here who needed your strength and guidance. Thank you for being YOU.

 

You deserve this health and happiness SO much and you've worked extra hard to get there. I am so proud of you.

 

Best of luck to you in everything you do from here forward. You proved that when you're this LOW, the only way to go is UP!!

 

Love you lots, Nicole

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I just found this! I am so happy for you Jenny!!!  :yippee:

 

As you know I've reached out to you many times looking for comfort and advice and reassurance...you are a wonderful person and you have gotten me through some very dark moments...I will never forget what you have done for me here.  :smitten:

 

Live your life to the full Jenny and I hope every second of it brings you the happiness you deserve.

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Wow, where to start to say how extremly happy I am for you, :yippee: :yippee: :yippee: :yippee: you are truly amazing and a big inspiration to all of us more then you know, I am so greatful having you as a true friend forever , Jen you have helped me tremendously gng through my recovery , I looked up to you , we were almost the same time off less a week , so close together in time and so close forever , I am next in line , my friend forever!!!! I am just around the corner with my recovery , praying my success story is next to be posted.

 

Love always

Laura

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Way too go Jenny!  :thumbsup:

 

Nothing makes me happier then seeing a true angel heal.  You have been through so much and have helped so many.  May health and happiness be yours always, Love, Stevie :smitten:

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[1a...]

Thanks so much Jenny!

Your support and guidance has gotten me thru the darkest days. I am so grateful to have met you on the forums and I hope to meet you in person one day too. We are so close, and once I'm doing as fabulous as you, I'm driving to you! Much love Jenny and best of luck in whatever you decide to conquer next. I agree with Woody, why not counsel others - you are so good at it, maybe make a career of it! Much love Christine x

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OMG Thank You Every1 Sooo Much!!!! :smitten:

You all have helped me in ways I don't think you truly realize!!!

See yes I have been thru many of Life's Challenges and mainly had to do them alone..

So when I joined BB I truly believed I was here for all of you!!! Couldn't have been more wrong...It seems you have been here for me!!! At the time I joined I was completely unaware of the Residual Effects,The Back Lash , that occurred thru this process..So just to say I was still broken and didn't know it!!! This w/d is a Monster and can Steal so much from us if were not looking...I wasn't...I never knew I needed Support,Needed Friendship,Needed Guidance,And mostly ,Needed Tuff Love huge push back into Life that's been Patiently waiting..I will never not ever forget Each and every1 of you individually...Each 1 of you Amazing ,Compassionate,Wisdomfilled Fighters have Carried me through that Finish Line wether your aware of this or not ...You Did!!!! I pray that if not anything I was able to truly be a Voice and a Mirror of Comfort and Truth for you when you were feeling so down and hopeless ..That you will Heal ,You are noway going to be like this forever and I know I sware I know how you feel  in the Center of it..Pls know this ...This Beast may be Creepy and Exhausting and Relentless ,But Truth...You WIN... in the end You WIN... Hang onto that OK....

Keep you eyes on the Prize and Fight with everything that you have and are..You will stand  stronger then ever before this...Just know I could never have gotton thru this with out all of YOU...

Mwauh,Mwauh,Mwauh, to all of you!!!!

 

xoxoxoxox~ Your friend Always...~J

 

Ok alittle song ...Remember this cause its true and its for all of you

P.S..Woodso..aka..Woodrowe lol I bet your going to call me out on Typeos...Bahahaha

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFfCKy0nKr0

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