Anxiety is thru the ROOF

Hi BB's

 

My anxiety is absolutely thru the roof. I have my sweet grandkids am just crippled by anxiety. The depersonalization is thru the roof also. What do you do.  It has not stopped or let up all day. Everyone, are you sure we are healing? I am just beside myself.  Thanks for your support. I am shaking so bad I can hardly type, today. As well, my eyes are blurry and my neck is at breaking level with muscle tension and my shoulders.

What helps me is laying on a hard floor and breathing.  You get grounded.  A buddie here violet had talked about it and it works.  Also walk barefooted, even better out in the grass.  They sound weird but it helps.  Just get through.  It will pass.  Hold on Belle.  I'm thinking of you.  Linder xo

Thank you more than I can tell you linder

Hugs to you

Hugs back Belle.  You will get through this.  Linder

Hi BB's

 

My anxiety is absolutely thru the roof. I have my sweet grandkids am just crippled by anxiety. The depersonalization is thru the roof also. What do you do.  It has not stopped or let up all day. Everyone, are you sure we are healing? I am just beside myself.  Thanks for your support. I am shaking so bad I can hardly type, today. As well, my eyes are blurry and my neck is at breaking level with muscle tension and my shoulders.

Bell you are only about a week out from your last ativan.  It is completely normal, although very unpleasant, to be experiencing the level of anxiety that you are.  During my first couple of weeks my anxiety was so high that I couldn't sit still yet I didn't want to move.  I had a horrible time being around people or doing anything.  Every waking moment my mind was consumed with my anxiety and I was constantly thinking inwardly no matter what I was doing.  I started worrying that I was having a nervous breakdown or losing my mind.

 

I got a window at 8 days off that lasted for a day.  It was only at 3 weeks that things went from intolerable to tolerable (not saying your timeline will mirror mine).  I was glad I stuck it out because during the worst of it I had thoughts of reinstating, committing myself to a mental hospital, and not being able to live through this.

 

There are some good anxiety coping tips on this board.  A book that has helped me get through my waves is Hope and Help for Your Nerves, by Claire Weekes.  Reading it has done wonders for my anxiety and made me less fearful of the depression.

 

This will pass Belle.  You will get better.

 

Crono

Thank you, you said it better than I could have. I just told my husb. am I going to have to be committed to a mental hospital, I just said that today. I have been suffering so long with this, since lortab jump off, I have some days it is way worse than others. Thank you so much, you hit it on the head exactly. You are a blessing

Belle, I could have described my post-benzo anxiety in exactly the same way.  It is relentless and barely---and I mean barely---tolerable.  Every day I think I'm not going to make it, and yet I'm not sure exactly what that means.  There's no way I can ever put a benzo in my mouth again, so I have to make it, don't I?  You, too, my friend.  Please know that you're not alone.  Sometimes I think if they put all of us with through-the-roof anxiety in a rocket, we wouldn't even need the fuel.  The energy output would fly that sucker straight to the moon.  Do you want to call NASA, or shall I?  L., ~~mbr

Belle, I am in a similar position at 9 days off Diazepam.  The anxiety is at times barely tolerable...well, actually NOT tolerable and I end up pacing the house, talking/crying to myself and feeling like I'm going to jump out of my skin.  The feeling of restlessness but needing to stay still that Crono describes is something I know SO well.  I am managing and I know this will end...so take it a day at a time.  When you're feeling rough...think of me feeling rough right next to you...and we will BOTH get better. 

 

ALL the best to you during this time...hugs,

Schatje

BB, this is making me scared as to when my time comes to jump off. I'm not even there, I have about 3 more months to go and I'm freaking! My anxiety comes and goes in HUGE waves and I also thought about commiting myself to a hospital, or going crazy with it. Then I realize that I cannot EVER go to a hospital again and they will only hype me up on drugs some more, so that's out. I don't want to ever be under the control of a Pdoc I don't know and am familiar with ever again!!! 

 

I hope that when it comes I can make it thru the hard 3 months OFF! I am going to WDW in Feb, and I'm supposed to be off in Oct. Can I make it to my vacation and start getting windows by then? I HAVE to go to WDW it's my happy place and I am so looking forward to my vacation. I've not had one for 3 years now since I hit Tolerance W/D's. I want to have my life BACK AGAIN!

 

Sorry to vent...

I jumped off April 24 and went through the exact same thing. I thought I was loosing it. I knew exactly the way I was behaving but could not control it. I could not sleep, I was walking the floor, crying and somewhat hollering some sounds.  I called my husband out to the living room and he sat with me the entire night while I was very fidgety. It was terrible. In days following, I had burning arms, sweats, chills, neck pain muscle tension, jelly legs, I overreacted to everything, throat was sore because of tightness, I lost weight, jumpy all the time, frequent bladder contractions, gas... I think i had it all. I never knew such anxiety before.  I never wrote down how long it last but everybody is different. Just rest assured it is not you losing it, it is difinately Benzo withdrawal. Do not give in, try not to fear it ( although that is somewhat impossible ) don't go to hospitals or call your doctor.... They won't believe you! I pray your acute withdrawal time is very short. Just keep posting to BB and we'll be right here for you.    (((((( hugs)))))). You will heal.

 

PS I have two grandchildren that I love dearly but I'm in Wisconsin and they are in SC and with me going through this, I'm glad because I don't want them to see me now. I believe better days are ahead.

Belle.....

 

What do you think is best?.....

 

A: Healing at home with your family's support (I hope) or.....

 

B: Going into a mental hospital surrounded by strangers (some possibly very scary, violent and intimidating) and having nurses just telling you to "Go to your bed and relax!" and then them walking away and muttering to themselves "Nutter, that girl needs a benzo" and of course the Doctor who will say, "It's the internet making you like this, withdrawal does not last this long, I am just not convinced this is withdrawal"

 

I could go on and on with the "B" answer, so what's it gonna be?

 

I think you already know, and you are right!

 

Unless there is something troubling you that can be tested to rule out something other than withdrawal then I personally would stay away from a hospital.

It's tough at the beginning, when the drug is finally leaving your system. I've found that typically at a little after the 2-week point that it changes from just nerves and anxiety to deep, overwhelming emotions, anxiety that fluctuates wildly, and the increase in d/p and d/r. It's as if the first 2-3 weeks post-benzos your body is adjusting as the last of the poison leaves your system. Then, once the benzos are for all practical purposes out of your system, you'll have some rought 2-3 weeks as your brain begins to kick back into action. I liken it to trying to start a car that hasn't been driven in a long, long time. It'll smoke and belch and rattle before starting to run, and even then the idle will be pretty rough. In time, though, the engine warms up and begins to run smoothly. My "engine" has yet to reach the running smoothly point. My brain is still shorting out and trying to make sense of things, so my "engine" is still in the belch and smoke phase. It's pretty rough, but there's nothing to do but hang in there and have faith that things WILL get better in time.

 

Keep the faith!

 

Tucson

 

Me on Day 34 of my fiinal c/t: