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Nearly 3 years Benzo free!


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Hi Everyone: just wanted so post some words  of encouragement to those struggling. You may be going through a very difficult time, but understand, that if you stay in the right direction, you will get better. I'm living proof. When I was going through all the withdrawal symptoms, it was like being in a storm and I couldn't see the sun. I must have done the whole gamit of withdrawal effects, so I know what it's like. Some days I was anxiety ridden, the next I was depressed, couldn't sleep, and on and on... the best thing for me, was to come here and talk to others who had gone down the unfortunate road of Benzo-HELL. The other thing was the self obsession I was experiencing. I drove my friends and family nuts with all my medical issues, but asked them to bear with me, as I was committed to getting off the demon pills. My anger would rage at the drug companies for making such evil pills, but I realized that I had to take responsibility for taking the first pill. I blamed my doctor, but in the end, I was the one who asked for the prescription. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, however  if I would have known even a fraction of the consequences I NEVER would have touched the first  benzo. I don't think that society realizes the devastating effects of benzos...Oxy, Coke, Heroin etc. seem to get the press, but benzos are just as bad in a different way. The main issue that I was dealing with was that I didn't want people to feel sorry for me, just to understand, and bear with me. Empathy is different from Sympathy. I was committed to going in the right direction. When I realized I could pause at a certain level, then I didn't feel too much pressure, and as long as I was decreasing I could take my time to let my body adjust to the taper. The benzos mess with your sense of reason as well, as you feel that you cannot get by without them. In this way, they are extremely cunning and so deserve the description demon seeds. As you can tell, I still habour resentment for them, but in the end, I WON. Colin and Teresa, Beeper were great helps to me, and I was honoured to have them help me with all their encouragement, support, and sound advice. I titrated my last little while, which really helped. If you are having issues with dry cutting, try it with whole milk if you can. At the end, I hardly noticed a difference as I was down to such minuscule amounts, which titrating allows you to achieve. Just KNOW you can do this, and you will surprise yourself at how strong you can be. NOTHING would allow me to go in the wrong direction, however everyone is different, so if you updose, don't be too hard on yourself, just try to get back on track, and move forward on  getting off.

My only residual side affect is a bit of tinnitus (ringing or high pitched hissing) in my ears, but I think this would have happened eventually, as it's also a product of loud music, and aging. It's a piece of cake compared to the other things I had to go through. More people than you'd realize have this, so it's nothing to get too alarmed with. I just make sure I have some background music or fan  on, and  the main thing is, I don't focus on it. That's the key. Other things that helped was talking about it. I went to an addiction counsellor, which helped immensely, and didn't focus on the addiction part, as I believe most people are addicted to something. Food, Booze, Shopping, Gambling, Power, Work, Sex, and Pills. It just masks the deeper issues and the hole in the soul. That's the work I started doing after the benzos which still ain't no picnic, but it's a great deal better. You need to be selfish and do things for yourself while you are tapering, to make your taper more bearable. Treat yourself, take long baths, drink nice herb tea, have that favourite thing you desire, go to a spa, buy something for yourself that's will significantly say that YOU are in charge, and not the benzo. This all worked for me.

It's not perfect, but NOTHING is. Life will still hand you difficulties, but you will not have to deal with this horrible chemical to deal with it. I know this has been a long ramble, but if in some way this helps one person, then it's worth me writing. You'll make it, You can do it, You are worth it, and in the end,  you will conquer this benzo demon, get your life back, and YOU WILL WIN.  Oh, and by the way,  Go on Youtube and type  in: Patti Labelle There's a Winner in You! She can sing it, and say it much better than I. Best of Luck!!!!

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[21...]

songwriter007,

 

Thanks and Congrats!

 

I agree about the tinnitus. I think I had a bit of it before Benzo's due to loud music.

S#

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[15...]

Well done Songwriter.  Congrats on your new benzo free life, and the best of luck to you!

 

SoCalRob

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Hi Songwriter007,

 

I am relatively new here....March 2011....and this is the best place to get help.  I am very glad I found this and I am tapering from xanax - eight years use - I think I am doing okay and will probably titrate the last 1/8 of a pill.....0625....in a few weeks.

 

You have a positive attitude which is great and I try to think that way also.  I don't like to focus on it as that would really drive you crazy and I keep busy.

 

Yours is a great story and thanks.

 

 

Gail  "This too shall pass".

 

 

 

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Thank you for coming back and encouraging us! We all need a bit of hope. Congrats on your healing and enjoy your life!!!  :smitten:
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Hey there, songwriter007.  ;D  I remember you and have wondered how you were doing.  Obviously the answer to that is "good".  ;)  Thanks so much for coming back and letting everyone know there IS life after benzos.  :thumbsup:
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Congratulations Songwriter!  That is so awesome that you came back and wrote that!  You gave me hope!!

 

Congrats again! :yippee:

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