Very simple tasks bring on hyper anxiety

I am 9 weeks off Klonopin. My biggest problem through all of this is anxiety. My acute stage was horrific. I'm trying to do everything to get better. I went out  yesterday and tried to help overcome my agoraphobia. I just went into two stores but I felt like I was thrown into a lion's den in each store. I managed the best I could. When I got home I had about two ounces of red wine. I remember that even while I was in tolerance with Klonopin, I was always worst the day after I was out somewhere. Today I am terrible. My anxiety is through the roof. I tried so hard to fix dinner  but my body was in such hyperactivity, I couldn't keep under control.  I get VERY VERY UPSET doing a simple task. I knew when I woke up this morning, I was going to have more anxiety. I exercised for an hour but that didn't even help. Does anyone have this hyperactivity doing something very simple. Or any anxiety the day after you do something? I just retreated to my bedroom because I don't want anyone to see me. I feel so beaten.

This happened to me the other day. I had gotten back from a stressful situation and it took me a couple days to feel better. This anxiety is nothing like I've had before so I expect it will return to pre-benzo state in time. On another note... I haven't felt panic since I got off the drug. Keep working at reconditioning yourself, it should become easier each time.  

 

Star

 

Oh ya, the hyperactivity.

 

I had this in tolerance withdrawal as well, but worse.

 

There was one day, I went to the doctor.

 

I was so stressed and hyper at the same time. I couldn't be still.

 

By the time I got home, I was ready to go to bed and just lay there.

 

 

Were u ever put on any anti depressants???  for the anxiety ??

You are not doing your GABA receptor sites any favors with the red wine.  Alcohol has heightened w/d symptoms for more than a few BBs, even in very small amounts.

I tried some SSRIs but it all fairness, I probably stopped taking them before I gave them the time to work. My anxiety was enhanced probably because I didn't want to take them. I always mark in " The Pill Book " which medications I have taken so I looked at my notes and under Paxil I wrote that I had high anxiety.  I did try Lexapro for five weeks wnen I noticed that I felt no emotions whatsoever. I'm normally a emotional person (Is that good or bad?) so when I couldn't even feel the GOOD emotions, that certainly was not the real me. I couldn't laugh at a funny movie, I couldn't cry at something sad. So that experience did scare me. Does anybody on SSRIs feel like that??? If so, how do you rationalize feeling so dead??? Is it good or bad for you??

 

Concerning the wine, I did think about it but I am confused that I can't fix the blame on any one thing. That's what is making this withdrawal thing so FRUSTRATING!!!! I would hate to go back a clonozepam if I only knew next week I would have a window and be my ol' self.  Forty two years ago I was nervous but no where near what I feel now. I guess I need some encouragement from some of you because being only about 9 1/2 weeks off and thinking some of you are still suffering a year or more, is beyond my apprehension.  Nine weeks off plus the time for tapering before that seems like eternity in itself. Where do I find the patience to endure? Thanks for reading this. Thanks to all supporting me.

 

I know what you mean about simple tasks. I'm only getting off a small amount of Benzo but I have some overriding health problems and am looking at surgery in the near future and between the Benzo business and my daily health issues, it seems as if everything just becomes too much to tackle. Right now if it weren't for my husband not much of anything would get done. I'm so grateful he understands and helps me out with day to day chores.

 

 

Dear Granny. May I ask what you are withdrawing from? How long did you take it? You have every right to be anxious about an upcoming surgery. That is normal anxiety. I just had a procedure done to check my esophagus and the way I was behaving you would think I was having open heart surgery. What is your surgery for? Maybe I can say something to ease your thought. It sounds like you have a very supportive husband, like I do, so we are both lucky in that aspect. I guess you just do the best you can and that is all you can do. I'll be thinking about you and wish you a quick recovery.

On and off benzos several times through my life when I didn't even know what they were. Went for years on a "stomach pill" from my GI doc and learned years later it had Librium in it. He had me just "quit" and I never knew that I could have been in withdrawal. Had a benzo after my first child was born due to postpartum jitters, a benzo along with an AD after a hysterectomy and most recently was tried on several benzos for short periods because of illness in my family and also because of my stomach troubles which are terrible.

 

I tapered from Klonopin using Valium back 7 years ago when this board/site started. I went from about 30 or 40 mg down to 2.5 when a family member got sick. I never found the time to taper off the last 2.5 Valium when my stomach started going south and we had other overriding problems as well.

 

I got shingles two years ago, was put on Prednisone which made me very hyper and out of sync and learned I was allergic to Prednisone the hard way. I became dangerously depressed and anxious and there was no choice for me and my family but to be medicated. I got off the AD fairly quickly but even the low dose of Librium did no good. I tried Valium again 2.5 mg and it did nothing. The doc suggested Ativan PRN 1 mg and I didn't want to use it but I did so recently (in the last 3 months or so while selling one house and buying another) and it quit working.

 

I never took it on a regular basis and never more than .5 mg a day except for a handful of times because I didn't want to get hooked. Now it does nothing at all and I feel worse than before I took it.

 

I went up to .5 mg of Valium today after coming back to BB. I can't take any more than that to taper from or to attempt to stabilize my mood either one. I'm super-sensitive to medications and am awaiting stomach surgery in a week or so.

 

I currently have a hiatal hernia, gastritis, esophagitis, GERD really badly, a very weak LES valve (surgery will be done to correct it) and just had my 3rd esophageal stricture procedure done last week. The surgery is called Nissen Fundiplication. And now I have a bladder infection or so the doctor thinks. It didn't show up but I have all the symptoms and a fever as well.

 

All in all not a good day but it's nice to meet you.

 

Dear Granny, I wrote a long reply but it got lost in cyberspace so here is a shorten version until next time. Your story and my story has similar points but yours is a little more dramatic. I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I'm happy to hear you have a supportive husband just as I do to help you along. You changed your picture to the way I feel. lol My Benzo story too began with Librium. I tried a few times to get off of them but my poor body just couldn't do it. When benzos and the dangers of them became known, I tried again to get off but couldn't. I gave me six to eight weeks but it was too fast for me to handle. I was then put on Klonopin and was convinced I needed the medication. Last year after reading The Linden Method, I took thirteen months to taper .5 mg off Klonopin. I finally jumped April 24th of this year. I'm still having anxiety and other symptoms and get very discouraged. But I take it one day at a time and do the best I can. BB help me to remain positive and to keep trying. You keep posting and asking whatever you need to know or saying how you feel. I show my husband things from here. It helps him understand and put up with me. I too have hiatal hernia but it's not as severe as yours. I too have extra stress that isn't helping my situation. We moved to a different house 1 1/2 years ago. I have some serious family issues with our son so I guess life doesn't stop  because of my problems. Maybe you shouldn't be tackling so much at one time surgery alone is hard on our body, but make that decision yours and yours alone. You know how much you can handle. Just like me take it one day at a time and do the best you can. Be proud of yourself, love your husband as he loves you. You will survive. You will make it through. Keep posting. I will keep looking. May I ask when is your surgery? Where are you from? I'm from Wisconsin. Nice to meet you too.

Just a note to let you know I totally relate.  i just walked out to get the mail and there was a dead leaf and i jumped thinking it was an animal.  i am so jumpy.  can't handle much.  i am on my 5th day of jump.  began june 6th.  it's been terrrible.  we just have to be gentle with ourselves.  i have people who tell me it's ok to do nothing.  i have been thru a lot of life stuff but this is really really bad.  we can get to all that later.  i am putting something here i have on a word doc of things i am collecting of what helps me ok?

we are heroes for getting thru each day.  veritable freakin' heroes

 

 

 

5. When people are in recovery, they have a lot of fears. One is that they will never get better. Another is that their symptoms are really what they are like - perhaps what they have always been like. Both of these fears are stimulated by benzo withdrawal. In other words they are the thought components of benzo withdrawal, just as insomnia is a physical component.

 

and by amano

 

I've had a bad couple of days and got to thinking about how we judge the progress of our withdrawal can have a really big impact on our already fragile mental well being.  As much as we might be told it takes a long time to recover from benzo addiction/withdrawal many of us cannot help but live in the now, focus on how we feel now and compare that to how we felt yesterday and then go on to surmise how we feel are going to feel tomorrow.  This is a deadly way to view our progress and can lead to intrusive thoughts, constant negativity, heightened anxiety and maybe some depression.  Now I am not a scientist, this is purely based on my opinions and the experiences that forged them.  This is what has happened to me when I have let my guard down and let the fear overtake my positivity and belief that I am healing.

 

I have made a chart that helps to remind me of this process, how black can be made to appear white, how progress can be made to appear nil.

 

 

 

 

 

If we take the numbers to be days from quitting and the gradient to be how we felt on said day we can come to some quite incorrect conclusions.

 

Take for example,  1 and 25,  between these two "days" we can see a clear difference in the gradient (how we felt)  similarly between 1 and 100 we can see a massive difference.  Of course that is obvious when we look at the chart in this way, however, lets look at it a different way,  in the now, yesterday and tomorrow.

 

 

Lets look at number two(today),  when we look back at number 1(yesterday) and number 3 (tomorrow) we can see absolutely no difference at all,  we conclude there has been no progress at all,  when in fact there is the minutest progress, we are just unable to see it.  We can do this for any number on the board,  we cannot tell the difference between the previous and following numbers.  There is no progress for us to see.  We can do this all through the board.  Take any 2 numbers,  it is impossible to see the difference between them,  if we follow this pattern we can say that white is black. This is logical,  if you cannot see the difference between 1 and 2, 2 and 3, 3 and 4 ........98 and 99, 99 and 100 we have to say that there is no difference between 1 and 100.  Of course this is not true,  it is a twisted logic that brings about this result.

 

 

It is for this reason that I truly believe in the importance of keeping a daily log, as much of a pain as it might be, it really helps us to see the progress we have made, even when on a daily basis it appears as there is none.

 

 

I hope you understand what I am trying to get across.

 

 

I get exactly what you meant. You're reminding me to get back to my journaling. I was writing the same ol' negative stuff that I stopped. If I died, I hope no one reads my pages.

 

Panther, you are at the hardest time. I just about lost it then. I screamed for my husband to get out of bed and hold me on the couch. I totally lost control. I pray that goes by very fast for you. How are you sleeping? I barely slept 1 to 2 hours a night. In the following nights I tried Melatonin and that helped.  No human should have to go through that. I hope you have a good support person. My husband was my one and only. Of course I have all you BBs but sometimes a warm hand to squeeze or and arm wrapped around me helps me keep my sanity. I'm just about 2 1/2 months out but just like you said if I go from April 24th until July 1st, I can say I'm better but day by day, I get very discouraged. This ordeal requires patience that I am far short in supply. I pray you have patience in abundance.    Take care and let me know how you are doing...

Hi Lucy -thanks so much for your reply.  i know exactly what you mean.  this is completely unbelievable.  just think how thankful we will be for just normalcy - no big shakes - just peace and serenity. 

no - i wish i did have a husband.  my bfoyriend went back to his ex about  a year ago - then had a series of more losses.  my caridiologist put me on K because i was such a mess - very HBP.  maybe it helped me get back in the classroom but since i did not take it regularly i think i was in w/d all the time. this has been the worst year of my life.  almost felt like drinking.

i do have friends tho - i am in aa many years so meetings are sweet and peaceful.  i am good at being alone.  have 2 dogs, a cat and a rabbit.  my sister came over today and we watched battle for los angeles - alien movie.  i get on here when i get lonely.  the chats are sweet.  i am so thankful that at this moment i am ok - but i had a big cry today after a stress wave.  sometimes i just feel so bad for my pitiful self.  my faith is getting stronger.  you are so kind.  thank you dear one

Hi Lucy24,

I also get very anxious doing very simple tasks, & if it wasn't for my husband, nothing much would get done, he is far more practical and much less anxious than I

am. Neither of us though are very good at dealing with people, eg. builders, salespeople.

The art of negotiation is an important one in life though.

 

One of my sons appears to have a better business head , & as we have thousands of dollars worth of termite damage in a property we own , my son is advising me somewhat on dealing with builders to get quotes/advice on best way to fix the damage, as he is doing a big renovation humself however, he is mostly interested in his own stuff, so its all a bit hit and miss.

 

Hubby doesn't worry anything as much what I do & falls asleep easily while I lay awake for hours worrying about everything.

 

I hope you are able to cope better with life, going out etc.