REV BLUE BEAT THE BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello all. I have been a bit nuts with things lately. Well I moved back to Phoenix on a job opportunity to remodel old houses and make them green and energy efficient so I have been working like a fool and singing my ass off in a band twice a week for now. I am happy to say that one year ago at this time I was a different human being or at least it appeared that way. Things have definitely turned around for the better. I have gotten back to life in a big way. Every morning I wake up and once I do (this usually takes several hours) I can say I feel better than before benzos in many ways. I don't get very scared and anxious anymore and when I do I am fully aware that it will pass and lo and behold it always does. I have the DEEPEST dreams I have ever had. It seems the benzos actually did something to my sleep for the better after the withdrawal as I sleep really good now. Of course I now am pretty strongly against MSG and preservatives in food so maybe just this alone has helped I don't know. I just want to let all of you know that all of you are not insane with your symptoms and it is not in your head. Drugs like these are the devil's medicine machine and there is no proof of any chemical imbalance so do not believe the establishment when they start shoveling you the BS. YOU ARE FINE AND JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HEAR OUT YOUR PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went through some serious hell with this same establishment that is supposedly paid to help. All they did was make things worse so my asesment all thse years of "the man" was correct. I ran from the system and this above all is what helped me heal. I went to a holistic doctor when I first got off the poison and had some serious candida issues. I then went on a partial candida diet which helped my gut enormously. These drugs did so many changes to my body I just cannot even explain it. I will list them below so you all know that these all go away in time. I have some minor twitching and buzzing that is hardly noticeable and only when I eat lots of crappy food like chocolate and high sugar which I can actually tolerate for the most part. In early withdrawal I could not even eat sugar things like orange juice or I would have major symptoms. Anyway these are the things I experienced and are gone now:

1. Jerking movements

2. Plugged Ears (Major issue)

3. Swallowing problems (Major)

4. Drooling and excessive saliva which was constant in detox (cold turkey wd)

5. Prickling sensation in throat constant (cold turkey)

6. Insomnia (4 days no sleep in cold turkey)

7. Feeling of something pushing down on my skull

8. Twitching (Major issue)

9. Strange marks on my face

10. Feeling major DPR

11. Feelings of utter fear especially on the xanie

12. Sweating profusely (cold turkey)

13. Depression beyond anything I have ever had before. Sleeping 12-14 hours and wanting god to take me away.

14. Floaters in my eyes when I look at the daylight

15. Severe temperature problems of shivering while on the drugs (and when I was tapering the Depakote that the morons gave me to get off the Benzos) and sometimes extreme heat at the end of taper.

16. Problems with stomach and Bowels (Major)

17. Weird things with my veins turning a different color. I got so stressed in tolerance withdrawal on xanax that one day my vein started turning red on my arm

18. Numbness (Major)

19. Breathlessness especially upon waking (Major)

20. Feelings of exploding in my body

21. Major irritability

22. Changed personality and inability to feel ANYTHING (cold turkey)

23. Scary thoughts out of character (suicidal, cause others harm when I was in cold turkey and couldn't sleep for the four days)

24. Hallucinations of shadow people and evil laughing especially upon just dozing off (cold turkey) I also think this was something deeper and a battle for my soul between good and evil. I really think the dark one wanted me and god intervened. I opened up a scary pandoras box to let some bad stuff in even before benzos. Like check this out- One night I wore a holy relic for protection before I slept. When I woke up it was torn right off my neck. Go figure.  THIS IS MORE THAN SCIENCE AT WORK FOLKS!!!!!! And if it wasn't then science would have the answers and they certainly do not. I have always said science is looking for it and I have already found it. LOL

25. Teeth pain

26. Aches all over and neck pain to the point I thought I was having some kind of cancer

27. Trying to talk to people but could never say what I wanted to. This is hard to explain but it was like my mind and voice were unwed. Totally out of harmony. (Cold Turkey)

28. Ultra sensitive ears

 

 

Well there you have it and I am sure I missed some. I am not being over dramatic here. All of this poop happened to me at one point or another. Good thing is that it is all gone and I have gotten on with my life without regrets or fear. This benzo experience gave me something that you just can't get from a purchased education. It gave me more desire to learn about the evils of big medicine and the agendas of big business.  It gave me courage and a deep inflection of my own life and a time to figure out I need to do some major overhauling of my spirit. I know many of you now suffer as I did and I am here to tell you IT GETS BETTER. You start to learn how to cope with your symptoms as you go along. They become a part of you and hopefully you can accept it and try not to live in the past or future but in the moment and just do the smallest things to get better if you can.  I promise. Just be careful with the quacks out there. Not only will they dismiss what you are going through. They will try to put you on more meds when all you need is time, diet and exercise to get through this deep stress you are going through. Trust me you will all in time feel good again. I would suggest though not trying to many diagnoses with "the pros" until you are out at least 6 months or more.

Rev- Congratulations! You were going through that hell at roughly the same time I was so I remember your pain. April 17, 2011 marks one year without even a small does of K for me. I am looking forward to my 'success story' post this weekend and am glad we both made it through!!! Enjoy your life!! Art

Great to see that you've beat this beast, thanks for posting your story! It's always good to hear from people that have recovered!

 

Now on the serious stuff, like...life!  

Hi Rev,

 

Its good to see you and thank you so much for writing your success story, just the other day someone was saying we need more of these!  I'm glad to hear that life is treating you so well, I never doubted for a moment that you would beat this thing and you did.  Life is sweet isn't it, I'm so glad you're living yours happily ever after. 

 

Pam

I am so HAPPY for you Rev!   Linder

Rev,

 

When I first signed on to bb I spent most of my time reading everything I could hoping to gain some insights on how to navigate my way through this nightmare. I learned a lot from following your taper and reading the great advice that you gave to the other buddies on the forum. I continue to follow the diet advice that you recommended and I know that it has made a difference for me during my taper. Thank you for coming back to share your success story with us. I'm so happy for you Rev.

 

Leslie

Does anyone know how long Rev has been off benzos?

This is awesome to hear.

 

Isn't it amazing how differently you look at things now? I'm sure you know what I mean.

Does anyone know how long Rev has been off benzos?

June 1, 2010,  little over 10 months

Great news Rev - we all needed to read that you are doing well......very inspiring and uplifting for those of us still battling.  Thanks for coming back to let us know.....enjoy your life!!!

Hoping2BFree

Congrats again Rev!!! SO happy for you!  :yippee:

SO SO SO Very Happy for You Rev !!!!  I'm right behind you !!

Hi Rev,

 

Thank so much for posting your success story. I hope you know how much this means to others who are still coping through this experience and journey. I have had some really odd symptoms and question what's happening so it helps to hear your story to know how powerful and damaging these meds can be, but that you can truly heal in time. I have the floaters you describe in my vision which happen to me in the daylight mostly noticeable when driving! Just started this year. I could just cry reading that you've had this too as I've not come across it anywhere else and didn't plan to ask a doctor about it. Any way, I don't mean to talk about me....this is about you..and I wanted to thank you for your success story and encouraging words. I wish you continued healing and happiness in your life! 

 

My best,

Jan

 

Congrats!

 

S#

Wonderful news Rev .  I remember how much crap you went through. You're an excellent example of how persistence and patience win the race.

 

Best wishes,

 

Verti

YOU ALL ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tell you all to just keep your tapers going and be patient and steady just like Verti says. This above all will make your suffering be a long gone memory in time. You will actually be able to laugh at how silly all this is and gain much insight into things you never could prior and be thankful for the ground you walk on. Things will be a bit more colorful and you will have a clarity and confidence you NEVER had before benzos. It does something positive once you get out the other side of this dark tunnel of hell.  Just be careful around docs. They can and will make you worse if you let them. Remember YOU are the boss in this and not them. BENZOS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With love to everyone of you,

Rev

Rev,

 

Thank you so much for sharing!  Congrats on getting of benzo's and all your recent accomplishments!  I agree with you about doctors and big pharma.  I have just recently switched to an integrated doctor (an MD who is also a homeopath).  Way to go!!

 

Tamzo

Heck yea! This is an AWESOME story!

Congrats Rev you deserve it! Now, go on with your bad self.  Rock on.

 

love

ari

rev the man you helped me out with the foods!! its been on a long time  you rock on man! i feel happy that we  are benzo free

Thanks for the success story I'm at 10 months out and these stories are helping me make it thru this hell. 

Glad your getting your life back

Hugs

Kristin