Why is it so difficult to relax and enjoy life

Just got home from a 12 day trip.  Instead of having a wonderful time, I felt anxious, fearful, edgy and irritated.  I'm scared.  I'm not sure I like where I am in my life.  Xanax helped me to cope with my life situations and without it I'm having to face things and it's not real pretty.  I'm seeing the my world differently now.  I'm not satisfied with the dynamics of my life.  I have been to this point before....do I stay medicated so I can let stuff roll off my back or do I face the music and hope for positive changes in my relationships?  It sounds like an easy choice but I think if I work on changing things I will end up alone.     

Just got home from a 12 day trip.  Instead of having a wonderful time, I felt anxious, fearful, edgy and irritated.   I'm scared.  I'm not sure I like where I am in my life.  Xanax helped me to cope with my life situations and without it I'm having to face things and it's not real pretty.  I'm seeing the my world differently now.  I'm not satisfied with the dynamics of my life.  I have been to this point before....do I stay medicated so I can let stuff roll off my back or do I face the music and hope for positive changes in my relationships?  It sounds like an easy choice but I think if I work on changing things I will end up alone.       

 

The easy answer is to live an authentic life which means an aware one which really isn't possible when numbed out on benzos.  It is far easier to say than to do but I think the potential payoff would be worth the risk.  Ultimately, of course, you will need to decide this for yourself.  Be assured that you can be benzo free and still choose to let things roll off  your back once this over-sensitive period is over.

Aw Beeper thank you.  I wish I could give you hug cuz I am so grateful for your honesty.  Thank you for telling me the truth.  And I know you are right... "that you can be benzo free and still choose to let things roll off your back".  Well said Beeper.  It seems like some times my vision of the future gets a little blurry.  I appreciate the clarity of your remarks. 

 

 

You are very welcome, the secret.  I calls 'em as I sees 'em.    Also, I have found that I think much more clearly off benzos and that has made certain relationship issues easier to deal with in a calm, somewhat rational manner.  I really do think it's been worth it 100 times over. 

I am glad to hear you say that it's been worth it 100 times over to be benzo free.  In my weak moments I wonder.  Today I feel good and convinced that I can do this.  I don't like to be at the mercy of some drug to make things okay.  Got to face things and learn how to cope with reality.