Author Topic: getting started stopping  (Read 8439 times)

[Buddie]

getting started stopping
« on: February 16, 2011, 05:50:15 pm »
I really had given up.  I'm so totally addicted to benzos (currently clonazepam, about 6-10 mgs. daily, for...... 35 years.  Yes, it's true.  I'm  61 and I started with beer at 13.  By age 26, my hangovers were such that I was near death.  A friend gave me a Percodan tablet and it not only cured my hangover, it made me feel like I was in heaven, so I stopped drinking and simply took Percodan .  Soon I was taking 10 a day and became addicted to narcotics.  Well, I tried so hard to get over the narcotic addiction, I mean I really tried.  I kicked opiates probably 500 times and each time it became a greater ordeal.  After getting busted for writing Percodan scrips (my father was a dentist-I used his prescription blanks and wrote hundreds.  This was in the '70's, before the war on drugs and it was easy to pass phony scrips.  It broke my Dad's heart).  I started on methadone, and I liked it for the first couple years but then it just became a habit I couldn't ever break.  I remain on methadone to this day, about 30 years.  I couldn't have methadone without a little benzo, so now I have two long term addictions. I had always kicked my addictions cold turkey, so 5 years ago I stopped the valium for 7 months.  I almost didn't realize how looney I was getting.  I had forgotten how to sleep, how to remember, my anxiety was thru the roof.  So long as I took these two drugs, I appeared fairly normal, met a wonderful lady 26 years ago and I didn't tell her about the drugs.  I was at a fairly low dose of methadone then, and could still occasionally have sex.  We have a beautiful 20 year old daughter. (Before I asked her to marry me, I told her about the drugs.  I guess she liked me. Six mo. later we got married.  My aim is to clean up completely, but I know the benzos must go first.  It seems like you guys are serious... well, so am I.  I want my memory back.  I want to be able to look people in the eye during conversation.  In the '60's I was a working musician.  Hope to visit with you. [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2011, 09:40:18 pm »
Hi [...]!

Wow, what a life story! I'm sorry for you addiction struggles. I was given Percodan for my pulled wisdom teeth, and was instantly hooked. But by my third refill request, my dentist cut me off and that was that!  :laugh:

You really sound like you are ready to get clean. As you already know, I'm sure, this will be a bit more challenging for you than for our average member due to the nature of your addictions. The methods we suggest are all about a reasonably slow, safe taper. Sometimes that can be a real struggle even in the best of circumstances, but a true addiction, beyond just physical dependency, can make it even tougher.

I'm really glad you are here, and we will do whatever we can to help and support you!

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2011, 09:52:51 pm »
Welcome, Red,

It's a good site, you'll get a lot of support.  Just post your questions, there is a lot of experience here.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2011, 02:53:40 am »
Hi and welcome to BenzoBuddies, Red.

Your story is somewhat familiar to me.  My brother became addicted to oxycontin and xanax and they eventually contributed to his death.  However, he never wanted to quit them as you do the methadone and clonazepam.

I think you are right to tackle the clono. first.  We usually recommend that members get on a set dose for a week or so before starting to make reductions.  You say you take 6-10mg/day.  Do you think you could get by on 6mg/day?  Or maybe 8mg?  Obviously, the lower the amount you stablize on, the less you have to taper from.  You probably will be able to start tapering off by cutting up your pills; we can help you work out a plan once you are on a stable dose.  :thumbsup:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2011, 10:18:52 pm »
Hello, Buddies-  When I came across your website I almost choked up, I was so thrilled that there was somebody, somewhere, that understood what this benzo addiction is like, how there's nothing to compare it to in the addiction roster.  I mean, all chemical dependencies are differrent, but there is nothing remotely like this addiction in the world, so far as I can tell-it's REALLY different.  Something about it sets it apart from all other chemical dependencies, in my opininion, and I've kinda really been around the block in my lifetime.  And NOBODY in the real world seems to know anything about it. Even the great "doctors" seem uninteresred in the field of benzo addiction.  It's so unique, involing all different areas of the body: the gut, the brain... everything.  I'm concerned because I have always just gone to Juarez, Mexico, where it was easy as pie to walk into almost any farmacia and get pretty much whatever you wanted.  Now, Juarez is really dangerous.  It's pretty much a police state and I'm scared to go down there.  I think our war on drugs prohibition has made drugs SO lucrative that there's gangster warfare going on and the law is in on the deal.  Anyway, I can't find a doctor anywhere who's willing to work with me here in the states... I feel like I'm under a time pressure, sorta, and it doesn't help my withdrawl situation.  I've been to some NA meetings and your'e supposed to be clean when you join-- I got no support from them.  Maybe I really can't blame them, at NA, because my case could threaten THEIR sobriety, as they call it.  I just want to say that for the first time, longer than I can remember, I feel like I really might find some understanding and some support from people who KNOW.  Bless ya.  [...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2011, 10:24:42 pm »
Red,

I too feel good on this site.  Do you know what your starting dose of benzo will be?   Do you think you'll have enough benzos to do a slow taper?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2011, 11:13:47 pm »
Hi Red, Welcome.

We'll be happy to help you, but we'll need some information.  Are you interested in tapering off of benzo's and is Valium your drug of choice?  How many mgs do you take a day and can you get enough to do a slow taper?  Are you currently drinking and if so, can you stop in order to do this taper?  Sorry for all of the questions, we need to know these things so we can figure out how best to help you.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2011, 11:31:27 pm »
Hi Red, i was more lively on a narcotic/benzo mix too, but then it slowly declined (stupor) and withdrawal occured on its own.
if you are on clonazepam, perhaps tackle it first and see how the narcotic goes. as i came off clonaz, the narcotic was a breeze by comparison. i would strongly suggest if you can to find a doc or someone who will assist you in converting to Valium, i wish that i had earlier on. the taper is longer - months or a year who knows- see the Ashton manual for details.
Clonaz is reall tough but has been done by many slowly but surely.
BB is a lifesaver.
http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2011, 03:45:50 am »
Hello and welcome to BB. Sorry to hear about your problems with meds. You sound determined and I have no doubt you will be successful at beating this. Let us know what questions you have, we are here to support you. I am glad you found us!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Many years, two addictions
« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2011, 05:07:04 am »
Hello Red,

All your new buddies will help you get through this. :)

Hang in there,

Mike
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.