My fathers success story of long term benzo use and healing.

I was given permission from the moderators to post this here, and although it is not my story, it serves as hope and encouragement for all of us - If anyone has questions or cares to learn more - throw a shout my way.

Charley...

 

My father was in the navy in the 60's and went through all of the atomic testing around the Bikini Islands in the early 60's.  During this time in the navy, he started having terrible struggles with anxiety - couldn't keep food down and etc.  He was transfered to Japan for the remainder of his time and things seem to get better for him.  After returning home he married my mother and they had my oldest brother.  His anxiety and issues returned with a vengeance.  We lived in a small town in South Dakota, and only had general practitioners with little knowledge and even worse medications.  After trying lots of different and scary things, a new "miracle" drug came out - the benzos.  The doctors promptly put him on Serax (oxazepam)  A very short acting benzo that he was on for thirteen years.  He developed tolerance to it and was having terrible interdose w/ds.  This was in the early 1980's.  I was a kid then, and the only thing I really remember was growing up without a dad as he was in such tough shape that I saw little of him other than suppertime.  He was taking 30mgs 4 times a day which was the maximum legal dose.  The doctor in South Dakota told him one day that he was going to have to see a psychiatrist - that scared him because of the stigma attached in those days to such things.  He went and the doctor looked at what he was taking.  Aventyl and the 120mgs of serax.  the psychiatrist asked him who had driven him the 60 miles.  He said I did.  The doctor said "on that dose you should be out cold or dead".  He promptly started a dry cut taper.  No c/o or anything.  The only support my dad had was my mom.  As things like this werent talked about in our small town.  Even us 4 kids didnt know about any of this.  I only remember him punching a hole through the door once, and he spent most of his time in bed.  About halfway through his taper, he opened the paper one day and saw his psychiatrist in the obituaries.  He never went back to another doctor, but finished that taper on his own.  He said the taper lasted about 6 or 8 months.  His words of wisdom to me who is now tapering of 4 mgs of Ativan are - Its tough - its hell - at first there were no good days... then there were parts of days that were good and parts that were bad.  Some days were so bad he thought that he had lost all ground.  Slowly the good parts of the day outlasted the bad parts.  Eventually there were days that were all good.  Then a very bad day would hit.  He said the main thing that got him through was learning to not take himself so seriously, and learning not to make more out of the w/ds than they were.  He said he also learned to just pass the time and wait for the good parts of the day to come again.  He made up his mind that no matter how bad they were now - good days would come again.  And that they did - I can attest to that.  He continued to work managing the grocery store in that small town, and went on to buy it in 1989 and retired from it in 2007.  He is now 76 years old and has been benzo free since 1982.  He is completely healed, and would join and share this story himself, but he has parkinsons and the shaking of his hands keeps him from using a computer.

I type this long story to show everyone that I have personally seen a man broken by benzos raise a family of 4 children and hold a job during the worst of the benzo withdrawals, and go on to live a life that as he put it "was beyond what he could ever hope or dream".  He did this without a psychiatrist for much of it, without much support, and a lot of feelings of worthlessness for being a "tranq addict" as he puts it. And he came out on the other side a wonderful father, a successful businessman, and a person who's life was not limited any longer by the nasty effects of long term benzo usage.

Again, feel free to ask questions, or comment.

My father is glad that his suffering can be an encouragement to others and he personally thanks the moderators for allowing his story to be posted here.

Sincerely,

Charley

Your father sounds like a brave man Charley. Thank you for sharing his story and the words of wisdom he passed on to you. There are some real nuggets there that will help me as I taper off this drug.

 

Please give your dad a hug for me and tell him that he's a real hero in my eyes.

 

Leslie

 

 

Congrats to your father and to your family! So happy to hear of his success and healing.  Thank you for sharing this story.

What a great story! Thanks for sharing.

charley, thank you for posting this. It's a great message of hope.

 

Tell your father, thank you for sharing his story.

Thanks to you and your father for sharing his story.  I can't imagine going through benzo withdrawal without a support system.  He truly is a hero.

What an amazing story of courage and the will to survive 

 

Please give your dear dad a big hug from me.  He is a true hero 

Charley,

 

I really appreciate you posting that story. Please tell your father that this story will help hundreds of people, maybe more, who come through here looking for any sort of nugget of hope that this will get better.

 

I am seven months post benzo withdrawal. I am probably about 85 percent to 90 percent back most days. Like you father describes, benzo withdrawal for me is hell. I also can relate to the many good days followed by many dark days. I believe his description of this process is right on the money.

 

I would like you to thank your father for allowing us to know his story, and please let him know that we all want to be just like him...a true benzo success story.

 

Thank you very much.

 

TC

 

I have no words. That story speaks for itself.

 

 

Chrisw

Thank you Charley for posting your Dad's story.  He truly is a hero and is an inspiration to all of us who are struggling.  Give him a hug for me and tell him we are so glad that he held on and made it to the other side........

HOping2BFree

Thank you so much for posting your father's story!  He is right on about the experience.  Please tell him how much I admire his determination, strength, courage, and ability to just 'be' with all of it. 

Hello Charley,

 

Thank you for posting your father's Success Story. Your father is right about toughing it out, accepting withdrawal symptoms for what they are, and trying to keep the withdrawal process in perspective. It does get better; it is just that it is sometimes difficult to see this when suffering withdrawal symptoms.

 

Please thank your father for me, and on behalf of the wider BenzoBuddies community. Your father's story should serve as inspiration to all our struggling members.

I agree Colin,

Hindsight is always better than foresight!  Things don't seem so bad once we have come through them.  I know when I am in the middle of w/ds it's hard to know what end is up.  I've learned I can't trust my feelings (or my brain for that matter)    It helps me alot just to read other success stories and the other categories to see that what I'm experiencing are the same things that everyone else is too.  The old saying is true "misery loves company".  When I see I'm not alone I take comfort in that.

 

Charley

Thank you for posting your dad's story.  Truly heart-warming.    Your father is a courageous and admirable man.

Hi Charley,

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies. Thanks for posting your father's success story. Be sure to let him know how much it means to all of us. We look forward to reading yours one day.

Charley, A big thank you to you and your Dad. His story is a real inspiration to me as I've been on Ativan for 20 yrs. I'm reading the success stories tonight to give me hope and you Dad has done that for me. Please tell him that his story is helping a lot of people.

Frannie