Macrobid setback

Hello all -

Looking for some encouragement, I guess.  I know that this is the place for understanding.

Short background:

Nov. 2019 -- stopped Beta Blocker CT; bad reaction so they put me on Klonipin Dec

Jan. 2020 -- still on Klonipin, tried to follow Dr's advice and "taper" off over 2 week's time. Bad reaction so reinstated.  Discovered I needed some surgeries

Feb. (?) 2020 -- had surgery to remodel congenital bile duct malformation

March 2020 -- Mayo Clinic did surgical test on adrenal gland.  Dr. at that time switched me from Klonipin to Ativan ("it is faster acting so it will be easier to get off from") and upped my doses to 4xday.  While there Covid shut down elective surgeries.

April 2020 -- Insurance refused to pay for an Ativan prescription this large, so I did research (couldn't get any Dr willing to help me) and learned that i needed to taper.

April-Aug 2020 -- started taper, had adrenal gland removed at Mayo, spent 10 days in local Crisis Center being watched while I went through last of taper, Aug had gallbladder removed.

Aug 2020 - now -- slow agonizing recovery.  Felt like I was almost a whole person, again, until I contracted a UTI a couple weeks ago.  Last week I finally resorted to Macrobid (nasty symptoms for me; was able to stop the last before last pill - local Walk In Clinic said urine tested negative, although with a teeny bit of bacteria that "they usually don't worry about.")

Today -- after a night of insomnia (not normally one of my wd symptoms) and bladder contractions/spasms, I am so revved up that I am almost beside myself.  Not as bad as the first month off in 2020, but awful.  I fear that the UTI is coming back.  I am afraid I will need to go back on the Macrobid, or another worse drug.  It is Easter holiday so help is limited here.

Does anyone have any words of comfort for me concerning this UTI?  Concerning Macrobid?  Please tell me that another round of Macrobid won't destroy me!  Please hold my hand!  My sisters know of my situation, but of course can't relate.  Two of them are fundamentalist Christians and think that if I just make myself right with Jesus that God will decide to hear me and help me; the other is more pragmatic, with a Parkinson's husband, and just doesn't understand the depth of this drug damage.  My relationship with God is good, but I am so tired of this nightmare.  Thank you folks!

I'm hopeful that enough time has passed since you quit the Ativan that your body will accept the Macrobid.  Have you felt pretty much recovered from that since you jumped?

I have to comment on the ignorance of the doctor who said Ativan would be easier to get off of due to it being faster acting, that is the exact opposite of what is known to be true. 

I'm sorry to hear your family doesn't understand what you've been dealing with and the fear of repeating your suffering.

Thanks for understanding, Pamster.  This journey can feel so lonely at times.  I do get tired of having to be my own advocate while I am in the throes of being sick and afraid.

It turned out that my bacteria (Klebsiella pneumoniae) was resistant to the Macrobid, so I had to choose another AB.  Dr. wanted me to go on cipro, of course, but I said that was not an option.  I asked for and received Monural (Fosfomycin), which is an old-school AB and one usually reserved for a last resort, as it is still resistant to many bacteria and the health industry seems to want to save it for emergencies.  Or at least, that's what I read somewhere.  It is taken as a powder in water and consists of only 1 dose.  Therefore, symptom relief doesn't show up for 2 or 3 days.  Tonight will be the end of my third day.  Feel some better, but symptoms aren't all gone yet, it seems.  That scares me.  The Macrobid, earlier, had seemed to be working for a while and then abrubtly quit.  I'm afraid this will be the same.  I have been tolerating it pretty well, though.

In the meantime, I have been researching to see what other options I might have.  K. pneumoniae is rather notorious for being able to become resistant, especially to the Beta-Lactams (quinolones, penicillins, macrolides, etc.).  What I did find was some helpful info from a scientific site.  I'll post it here in case anyone else can use it:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S105913112030248X

"Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) receptor antagonism is a common mechanism shared by penicillins, cephalosporins, imipenem, and fluoroquinolones.  Alternatively, isoniazid has been shown to inhibit GABA synthesis .

Mechanism of action  --                                                  Antibiotics --

Direct antagonists :

Direct binding to GABAA receptor complex                        Penicillin, cephalosporin, imipenem, fluoroqinolones

Indirect antagonists:

Inhibition of GABA synthesis                                            Isoniazid

PK competitive inhibition

Direct binding to GAD

Indirect binding to sites within GABAA receptor complex    Penicillin, aztreonam

Allosteric inhibition of GABA binding

Prevention of chloride influx

Benzodiazepine receptor binding                                      Penicillin

And this on another site :  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31689281/ 

"β-Lactam antibiotics are proconvulsive. In laboratory animals, this effect seems to be predominantly mediated through inhibition of GABA-A receptors, but it has not been demonstrated in humans in vivo. We report images of a [C]Ro15-4513 PET from a 40-year-old man who had completed a 1-week course of flucloxacillin before it. Relative to healthy controls, the participant had significantly lower mean gray matter binding. These novel data suggest that, in humans, the proconvulsive effect of β-lactam antibiotics is mediated via either competition for the same benzodiazepine-binding site as [C]Ro15-4513 or downregulation of GABA-A receptor expression. "

B-Lactam drugs consist of:

Penicillins.  These antibiotics (most of which end in the suffix -cillin) contain a nucleus of 6-animopenicillanic acid (lactam plus thiazolidine) ring and other ringside chains. The group includes natural penicillins, beta-lactamase-resistant agents, aminopenicillins, carboxypenicillins, and ureidopenicillins.

Cephalosporins.  They contain a 7-aminocephalosporanic acid nucleus and side-chain containing 3,6-dihydro-2 H-1,3- thiazane rings. Cephalosporins are traditionally divided into five classes or generations, although acceptance of this terminology is not universal.

Carbapenems.  Their defining structure is a carbapenem coupled to a beta-lactam ring that confers protection against most beta-lactamases, although resistance to these compounds is a significant issue and occurs mainly among gram-negative pathogens (e.g., Klebsiella pneumoniae, Pseudomonas aeruginosa, and Acinetobacter baumannii), which produce different classes of beta-lactamases termed as carbapenemase.

Monobactams.  The beta-lactam ring stands alone and not fused to another ring.

Beta-lactamase inhibitors.  They work primarily by inactivating serine beta-lactamases, which are enzymes that hydrolyze and inactivate the beta-lactam ring (especially in gram-negative bacteria). These agents include the first-generation beta-lactamase inhibitors (clavulanic acid, sulbactam, and tazobactam) and the newer avibactam and vaborbactam that are active against carbapenemase such as Klebsiella pneumoniae carbapenemase (KPC).

And there are NON-Beta-Lactam antitiobics.  They include vancomycin and daptomycin, among others.  They don't work with the same mechanism as the Beta-Lactams.

I had been on the end of my recovery roller coaster, I think, before the UTI.  The UTI threw me for a loop.  I was really afraid to take an AB, what with all the horror stories out there.  And I know that those IN tapering and those RECENTLY OFF the drug and those YEARS OUT from the drug are probably in different places on the AB-reaction scale, but perhaps we will never be safe from some of the adverse effects of ABs, now that our bodies have been programmed, huh?  The longer out, the better, I would assume, though.

Anyway, I don't get along with Macrobid especially well, although I didn't get a setback.  I was devastated when it turned out that my bacteria was resistant.  Downtown clinic told me I had E. coli; Walk In clinic told me I had K. pneumoniae.  Don't really know what that means, except that I had to try another drug.  I tolerated that one well.  Never had diarrhea with it (although severe diarrhea can show up a couple months later, I am told), nor discolored urine.

My symptoms are noticeably better this morning!  Yay!  Let's hope it continues until they are GONE!  I know I am not WORSE!  I guess a person can sometimes take another dose of Monural if necessary; we'll have to see what a test says.  Suppose I will have to give it a few more days before testing.  I think the standard is 7-14 days after.  Seems like a long time to me.

I don't seem to have an increase in Benzo symptoms except for some hightened emotions and tears and morning uptick (kind of hard to tell where infection symptoms and Monural symptoms begin and Benzo crap ends), and have been sleeping well.  I had a night of insomnia between drug switching, I was so worried about what I could get the Dr. to agree to, but have had 2 good nights since. Of course, I won't know what reaction I may get once the drug is completely out of my bladder -- supposed to stay there for more than 3 days -- but so far so good.

I understand that more new drugs are in the works, but aren't available yet.  They sound more promising for us folks.  There was one drug that became available awhile back that sounded good, but has since been pulled off the market in the U.S. due to "adverse effects".  I thought that was a strange reason.  What drug DOESN'T have adverse effects?  Anyway, we do need more options than we currently have, and science is working on it.

One note:  It appears that several more-scientific sites (National Inst of Health, Psychology Today, etc.) are aware that certain drugs, particularly antibiotics, should be adjusted in dosage to better fit compromised patients.  And that includes those who have CNS issues.  Psychology Today did an article on the mental health consequences of giving too much of a drug to this subclass of patients.  And NIH recognized that size and age of patient play a roll in what an appropriate dosage should be, leading to a better outcome of treatment if calculated properly.  I've never had a doctor even question a dosage.  There are "adults" and "children" to them.  Never mind that one adult may be 23 and 230 lbs and another may be 68 and 100 (me).  I have tried to ask for a children's dosage before, but there are no guidelines for a doctor to go by, so I don't get far with that request.  I just get the minimum adult dose.  Period.  According to those sites I mentioned there does seem to be a difference in the amount and severity of side effects produced if doses are too high.  So perhaps some of our suffering will be alleviated some day when they can figure out how to tailor a drug to a patient.  What with all the computer/AI technology today, how hard can that be?

I'll try to return to this post to update on how everything all came out.  I've got my fingers crossed.  Guide me and watch over me, God!  Thanks for being there and for caring, Pamster.

I'm relieved you've done your homework, so glad you knew about fluoroquinolones and thank you for providing so much information, I've seen too many members negatively affected by antibiotics including a close friend.  He was on Ambien and his dentist put him on penicillin before a procedure and it hit him just like a fluoroquinolone, it completely stripped him of the Ambien and he went into severe withdrawal.  I'm appreciative of your last paragraph, my friend is contemplating more dental work but is afraid of the penicillin so if he can get by on a lower dose, then he may decide to go through with it.

I'm glad you found what is hopefully working for you and its wonderful to hear you're sleeping okay, that's such a gift.  Let us know how if you see more improvement, you need a break.

Correction:  I had been saying that my bacteria was diagnosed as K. pneumoniae.  I was incorrect.  It was Klebsiella aerogenes.  They are both becoming highly resistant to ABs.  This inadvertant mislabel might mean something to somebody, so I apologize.

Update:

Well, my UTI was not gone as of the 3rd day of my Monural.  Symptoms seemed to be coming back so I made another visit to Walk In clinic.  A new urine test showed some bacteria, STILL!  Although, this time it is called "occasional" bacteria.  Which isn't unusual in asymptomatic people.  Mayo Clinic says to just flush those with lots of water.  But I have some bladder/urethral spasming, so they won't consider me asymptomatic.  On the other hand, who knows what the spasming means in the case of Benzo people?  I am torn in knowing what to do.

They are going to culture the bacteria, but I won't hear back until maybe Friday or Sat.  In the meantime, we have decided not to pursue an AB yet.  We'll wait to see what details the culture reveals.  So I will be drinking tons of water, some cranberry j., some D-Mannose, eating yogurt, vegetables, and praying.

Had thought that I dodged the bullet in symptoms with the Monural.  Really not many side effects during the past 3 days.  Last night was different!  I had to wake several times to pee (of course, since I drink water every time I get up) and every time I woke up it was in a panic state (heart rate very high, fear).  I was able to calm down, fortunately, and to get back to sleep, but each time I woke it was to worse panic.  And after getting up, now, I am flooded with revved up symptoms after having "calmed" down.  Wonder what the rest of this day will bring?  My muscles are tight and burning, my pulse is up, and I am sad.  BUT, if this is as bad as it gets, I can deal.  Now I worry about what AB I should next and what THAT will do on top of my consecutive courses of Macrobid and then Monural.  Have really no choices left that are "safe" but still effective.

From what info I can find, Monural is THE best choice for resistant bacteria.  And Macrobid is another.  Since I have done those 2 and bacteria isn't completely gone, I don't know what other med choices I have available that would be effective, not to mention safer for me to take.  So many other ABs, now, show less and less effectiveness against resistant bacteria as the years roll on.  Is the risk even worth it, in my case, since I have already had incomplete success with the most effective choices?

My Walk In clinic Dr. suggested I see a urologist, so maybe that will be my next step.  Man, do I hate to start the Dr. merry-go-round, again!  And I HATE to think of having to tell my stupid story to one more doctor, who will not know what I'm talking about or have any knowledge of Benzo danger!  I don't like being made to feel like a paranoid crazy person.  Even if they don't say a thing, you talk and realize how nutty your story sounds to someone on the outside, and can feel them pegging you as unstable.  Insult to injury when dealing with most doctors.  They might be polite and have good bedside manners, but agreeing with me?  Not so much.  Whine, whine.  Let's hope my local urologist can cooperate with me and my situation, and be willing to learn.  I think it is too much to hope for to find out he is Benzo-wise, as they say.

Are my current UTI symptoms (spasms, feeling of hot inflammation) just part of the Monural/Benzo response, and I can avoid another AB by diligently flushing my system?  Or is it really imperative that I try another drug?  I feel like I'm walking to the gallows.  No way out, but forward, and that way is most probably going to be hell.  Can I survive, mentally, a revisit to acute?

I would SO love to have a wonderful summer.  I fear that I have lost the opportunity, now.  I know I should try to keep positive, avoid negative thinking, and aim high.  But the consequences of these imminent decisions are dire for me, should I make a bad choice.  I was SO hoping for a wonderful summer this year, but I am skeptical, now.  Can AB setbacks (other than from quinolones) usually go on for months?  Do we really come through happier in the end?  I guess I need some reassurance.  And hope.  And for this stupid UTI to LEAVE permanently!  So sorry!!  I think I am just reacting to my current downtick in symptoms.

Shouldn't take you all down.  Life will get better!  One step at a time.

Thanks, folks, for whatever crumbs you can throw my way.  You are all strong and worthy of peace!

Your thoughts are swirling at a frantic pace and I can totally understand, but I have no doubt you'll figure out what you need to do and you'll come out of this in much better shape.  Your ability to research your situation to find workable solutions is your strength and while none of this is what you want to be doing, I know you'll find your answers and hopefully, that great summer will be yours. 

I get not wanting to jump on the medical merry-go-round especially with the benzo factor but we do what we have to do to keep healthy so allow yourself a moment to grieve this latest outcome then jump back into advocating for yourself.  Please keep us apprised of the results of the culture, I'm glad you're going to wait for it before taking another drug.

Well I am now back to update.

My UTI symptoms haven't gone away, but my recent visit to Walk In today (thought I would have another urine test done to see what I can learn) revealed to me that I DO NOT currently have a UTI!!  I had to ask several times if they were sure, but they were.  My own urine dip stick test this morning showed elevated leukocytes, but no nitrates.  They figure that the elevation in leukocyltes was most likely due to bladder/urinary inflammation and was not infection.  Told me not to worry but to just treat the pain/discomfort.

I had spent a long time this morning reviewing my AB options -- again! -- in order to come up with a next-best choice.  I now have a very short list of available ABs to treat AB-resistant bacteria, and no need to currently use it.  Thank God!!!

I wish I could say that I walked out of the building feeling elated, but truth is, I feel lots of Benzo-type symptoms, not the least of which is apathy and doomy-gloomy, today.  My arms are buzzing and muscles weak, and my heartbeat is heavy and I feel lousy.  And I have more brain fog than I have had in a long time.  Other than that, I feel like I have dodged a bullet of sorts with my AB use.  If this is as bad as it gets, I will feel lucky (one day, if I can overcome this sad lethargy).

About the ABs I took :  Macrobid isn't easy to endure, but it didn't hurt me that much, and the Monurol is in an AB class by itself in its mechanism of action, which makes it safer to take for us, I think.  No direct CNS connection.  Or course, I'm not that far out from having it leave my body entirely (a couple days ago), but we'll see.  I imagine most of my symptoms today are because of the extreme stress I was trying to suppress while believing that I was going to have to accept my fate with a less-than-ideal next-step AB.

I should state that I did have a couple nights (not consecutive) of waking in a panic attack every time I woke to pee, but they didn't last.  And today I am in a state of depressed agitation, if there can be such a thing.  I am unsettled, like something worse is coming.

I am hoping that this clears up quickly.  I am hoping that I will soon be able to enjoy our Spring, here, in MN.  Got snow, once more, last night.  think it is about gone, now, though.  It's been a long winter for everyone.  I have to keep reminding myself, over and over, that this will pass.  I will get better.  We will ALL get better.  I am not alone.  Stay positive.  Learn to meditate.  Walk more (that was put on hold during the UTI mess).  Listen to more Benzo Free podcasts (D. Foster is soothing to me).  Try not to give in to the depression.  Wait it out.  Wait it out.  Distract.  Tomorrow is another day and it will be better.

Something I did learn while researching ABs:  many people take probiotic supplements during their AB course.  NIH (National Institute of Health) shows over and over, it seems, that this doesn't really help, and may slow down the gut recovery.  I gather that the problem with this idea is that the colonies in the supplements aren't native enough to our guts.  They are too limited, for one thing, and can cause our native flora to compete too much, not recolonizing as they otherwise would.  Actually, our native gut flora is pretty resilient, one study said (of course this is only one study), and can rebound quicker than we think if we just feed it well.  Probably we'd be better off if we took more PREbiotics iinstead of PRObiotics during AB use and after.  Studies show that adding probiotics, even after a course of AB, can slow our gut recovery down considerably.  Probiotics in FOOD is always a better choice, but especially those prebiotics.  It can be the difference between a months-long recovery with supplements, to a weeks-long recovery with the right foods.  Of course, it is helpful to have fed your gut right long before-hand.  Starting an AB with a strong gut biome will always speed things up.  I guess that's a check mark on the side of avoiding processed foods and always aiming for whole, healthy foods in the diet, as a life-long practice.  I know that I never did have any diarrhea with my two AB courses -- I understand that diarrhea is the most common side effect of ABs.  I had spent the last 2+ years avoiding processed junk and stuffing myself with as much whole food varieties as possible, so maybe that paid off?  Doesn't mean that I won't have some AB-generated diarrhea 2 months out -- Monurol is one that says this can be an aftereffect.  But we'll see what develops.  There are worse things than diarrhea.

That said, I did take some probiotic supplements during my Macrobid, and a couple times with the Monurol.  I always felt like these things made me feel termporarily worse instead of better, but I was told by the pharmacist to take them.  Eventually I stopped (except for last night, due to desperation to avert the UTI I felt was in process).  I hadn't read about the gut biome recovery info from NIH until awhile into my treatments.  The studies finally convinced me.  I think.  It's hard not to try to put some good bacteria back in when you know that so many are being killed off by the AB.  But I guess that even tho the die-off is significant, they say, there are enough left to re-populate.  Everyone's colony is unique.  No two are alike.  Maybe someday science will learn to tailor a supplement to mimic each one, but I'm not holding my breath that science can be trusted.  I just know how many times science has told us that they had answers for other things that turned out to be less than false, and ended up being just plain damaging.  Anyone remember oleo margarine? thalidamide? Peroquat? DDT? ... Benzodizaepines?!  Can't really go far wrong with following nature instead of science.  And letting our bodies guide us while we support our bodies.  We aren't as smart as we'd like t believe that we are.

While I'm here, and this is off-topic, but something else I have learned while in Benzo WD recovery, is that one good way to cope with the anxiety and discomforts, is to read aloud.  I have been reading novels, chapter by chapter, to my husband after noon meals.  Not only does it force me to focus on something other than myself, but it forces me to measure my breathing.  It is calming.  In the earliest days it was impossible.  As time went on, I made myself do as much as I could.  And I have kept at it for about 2 years.  It enables me to spend some quality time with my husband, and I have read some good stories along the way.  Just the act of speaking clearly out loud is beneficial.  Anyway, this is just my 2 cents-worth of coping advice.

Thanks for being there, everyone.  You are misunderstood and underestimated.  You are so very tough to have endured what you have.  Hold onto the belief that every day you have healed more than the day before.  Every day is one more step.  Every step is closer to the goal.  And the goal is ATTAINABLE!  We WILL get there!

I'm so happy to hear you don't have a UTI but can certainly relate to why you didn't feel like jumping for joy when you found out, we can't feel joy, only doom.  I'm very appreciative of your thoughts about probiotics while taking an AB, thanks for your observations, I'm going to ponder them.  I love what you said about reading out loud, I'm going to suggest that to other members!

I hope you don't mind but I'm going to move this thread to other medications because you've shared so much useful information, I want it to be available to others.

Back once more:

Well, I have been having an uptick in Benzo symptoms a few days more off from the Monurol.  None of them are overwhelming, but they are discouraging nonetheless.  And some are new to me.  I have been having those buzzy, tingly arms and some derealization (had to actually look up the description of this as I had heard others talk about it, but don't think I experienced it much myself.  Until now.  It's kind of icky, isn't it?), surging hot flashes (I actually welcome these, as I feel relief right after them), clenching muscles across my chest and upper back, all-over shakiness, and once again having uncomfortably fearful mornings, especially.  They aren't the same every day, and vary during the day, but I have regressed from the way I was before this UTI/AB thing happened.  Poop.  But par for the course, evidently.

The main thing that I wanted to write about is a symptom that is the most annoying for me:  bladder area cramping.  I finally went to the gynecologist today to rule out some health issues.  I was told by the Walk In Clinic that my UTI was gone, but it hasn't felt like it was gone, so I wanted to comfirm, for peace of mind.  I know others have commented on lingering UTI symptoms when there was no longer any UTI, but I'm not sure I have read of anyone having it as far out as 2 1/2 years.  And I haven't read about others with the symptoms of bladder spasms along with urethral spasms along with vulva inflammation.

The doc could find no infections happening at the moment -- I am infection-free -- and so far there doesn't seem to be an explanation for the cramps.  Actually, he did send in a vaginal swab for culture, but we don't expect it to reveal anything.  I'll have to update later if we do.  But this set of symptoms is really annoying.  It does vary in intensity.  It gets better and gets worse.  I am better today than yesterday, but still uncomfortable.  If I sit for too long, it's like getting a charlie horse in my bladder.  If I stand for too long, I feel engorged.  No urgency to void, no problem voiding, but a constant cramp.  The urethra seems to be having these disconcerting little twinges.  And the vaginal/vulva area feels inflamed and hot if I stand or sit for too long.  Lying down is OK.  Especially with a heat pack.  Has anyone else had this?  And if so, how long did it last for you?  And I know that we are all different, but I would love to hear that it will pass in a week (smile!).  I am assuming that this issue is due to the Benzo experience somehow, but the idea that it might be something different worries the back of my mind.  Benzo paranoia?

Another symptom that has been pretty consistent during the last two weeks is the ease with which my feet and calves cramp into charlie horses.  I can always stop or reverse the cramp, but I have to be careful how I move my toes and legs.  Same with my hands, but mostly my feet.  Again, I assume there is a Benzo connection.  I get plenty of potassium and magnesium and other vitamins from my food (lots of fresh vegetables).

I suppose that the AB's have clenched me all over -- feet, bladder, chest, blood pressure, and overly-excited days.  And I suppose that makes sense.  I feel lucky that so far these are the worst adverse reactions I've had to the AB's.  I know it could have been worse.  On the other hand, it ain't over yet.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  I do feel things easing a bit already, though, and I hope that is a trend that continues.

One step at a time, everyone!  You've come far already.  You will improve.  Life will get better.  Persevere!  I know it can seem SO impossible some days, but the body heals itself.  It may seem broken, but it's just in reconstruction phase! People are pulling for you!

I guess I should do an update here concerning the vaginal culture.  it is a couple days after the last post and I have heard back from the clinic.  It seems that the culture tested negative.

Hard for me to believe, the way I feel today.  I was so much sicker this morning -- temp, cramping, and so much burning that I am sitting on frozen rice bags.  And there's a level of nausea involved.  I was so sure I was going to learn about a vaginal bacterial infection.  Almost was hoping for it, the way I have been feeling.  But, no.

Now I am left with just treating the discomfort.  Without really understanding where it is coming from.  The best I can come up with at this point is that it has something to do with the gut/girlie-part restoration that is going on after the antibiotics and infection, the probiotic suppositories that I took, the stress of worrying about having to take another AB, and the Benzo blow-back about it all.

I do still have an appt with a Family Med doctor next week.  Maybe I'll learn something new from her.  Nobody has mentioned,again, seeing a urologist.  Evidently nobody suspects anything ominous lurking.  I suppose if I still feel like crap in a few weeks, still, I might look one up.  I am SO hoping this discomfort will fade away!

For the moment, though, I am just so relieved that an infection doesn't appear to be involved!

I want to mention that I am another one who seems to see an uptick in symptoms every time I take a probiotic supplement -- whether vaginally or orally.  I still do it, when I feel I have to, but I always think it makes me suffer for awhile.  I don't understand this, but I believe it's true.

Thanks for being there.  This site is like a security blanket for me.  I don't post much, but I do learn things.  The most important is that I am not as alone in this mess as I sometimes think.  It keeps me from second guessing myself and my symptoms so much.  At this point in my recovery I'm not as convinced as I was earlier on about my symptoms being tied to Benzo withdrawal.  The line is blurring between withdrawal and just old age and/or just being me.  And I'm sure that's a good sign that healing has happened.  I had almost forgotten what just being senior-citizen me felt like.  Maybe I still don't know, but I'm getting closer.

Hang on.  Hang onto each other.  Don't get bogged down in monitoring your health too much (something I still have trouble with, and maybe always will to a degree).  I know that's a hard one because our lives have revolved around feeling mysteriously unwell for so long that feeling well seems foreign and unreal.  But healing happens.  And we'll all get there in the end.  I'm convinced of it.

You sound so uncomfortable, I’m sorry you didn’t get any answers.  I feel kind of bad I moved your post to Other Medications because it feels like you need more support, I hope you’ll start a thread on Post-withdrawal Recovery Support if you need to, we’ve kind of veered off of the antibiotic subject.

I was going through your history just now and can see what you mean about having difficulty assigning what you’re feeling to benzodiazepines, life takes its toll.

Thank you for updating your health issues, believe it or not, someone, sometime will be grateful you did, there is so much accumulated knowledge here that helps guide others through this nightmare.