Stoke game???

So  i am tapering ativan but i started because ive been in a bad depressive wave for a few months. I found out my testosterone is extremely low but cant get i to an endo for month and a half. Something i have noticed is that usually 24 hours after I masturbate my depressive symptoms get worse. I cry alot and i get very sad and it seems to always follow after masturbating. I usually dont masterbatr during episodes ive gone months without no problem cause i am just not horny. I dont understand it but im just wondering if maybe my testosterone is dropping or something. The day following is bad enough to make me want to stop completely.