Five Plus Years Update

Dearest Buddies,

 

I was thinking of you courageous heroic warriors yesterday and wouldn't you know it, I received a message today.  I cannot express my gratitude enough for this space - I received a wealth of kind and loving support that contributed to my success.  It's been about 5 1/2 years since I completed my taper and I feel fantastic.  The only ailments I have are related to age.  I can regulate my emotions, I am not depressed or anxious. A bad day or even several bad days aren't waves to me.  There is typically a reason I feel the way I do and when there isn't, either way, how I choose to respond to my emotions is in my control.  Therapy and mindfulness meditation taught me this.  I completed EMDR with a highly trained certified therapist and no longer have negative beliefs influencing my emotions or behaviors.  Grief and loss make us sad and that's being human (The AfterGrief is a great book about this) but I can think about the past without feeling shame, regret, guilt, or pain. 

 

The pandemic was particularly hard for my family and I suffered a great deal however I must stress that my response was not an illness:  it's perfectly understandable to feel sad, hurt, afraid, angry, etc...when someone you love is not doing well and acting out.  More good news is the loved one is healthy and our relationship has been healed despite seeming to be destroyed beyond repair.  One day at a time, one step at a time, persevering, doing what I can, and having reasonable expectations, keep me in the present and reasonably happy. 

 

Happiness is subjective - if you asked me if I feel happy I'd reflexively say, "NO" because the world is on fire and going to hell in a handbasket!  But if you ask me if I'm happy with my lunch, I'd tell you that I am exceedingly happy and enjoying it tremendously and this happens to be very true.  I choose my lunch and make sure it's delicious - it's a reliable source of pleasure almost every day.  I have many little things that make me feel happy on any given day but if you ask me if I'm happy I wouldn't be cued to think about them and probably judge my mood as "meh" which isn't true at all.  On the worst day I'm very happy I can walk, talk, see, hear, feel, smell, taste, anything that I would hate to lose - I'm very happy I have it.  A parking space when I need one, friends, family, or even a quick call or text back and forth make me feel happy.  Helping others makes me feel happy.  Exercise makes me feel happy.  So many things each day. 

If you are chronically depressed this may be an option for you.  I know several people who have tried TMS for chronic/resistant depression and they have had a great response.  If you have trauma in your history (who doesn't?) EMDR heals.  You can look at www.emdr.com or emdria.org for more information and find a therapist.  You are strong, brave, capable.  You can do hard things.  You deserve to feel better and you will.  There is hope.  Be gentle with yourself and have reasonable expectations. 

 

You are good enough, you deserve to be happy and healthy, you deserve to be well, you deserve peace, you deserve ease.  Don't give up.  There is enough help and hope for you. Don't be afraid to ask and ask again for what you need. You matter.

 

Namaste,

Sunday

Thank you, Sunday for your success story. I’m happy to hear that you’ve recovered well. It is a joy to read how happy you are now. Many need to read that encouraging report.

Beautiful Sunday x so needed here x

 

Enjoy ur life, u fought hard for it xxx

Thank you so much for thinking of us and sharing your update, we have so many members who need to hear what you're saying, the hope you've given them. 

Really beautiful Sunday. You have a gift for stringing the sometimes impossible words to find in this journey and fight. Best of luck Sunday.

Thank you so much Sunday!  I love your message.  How very kind of you to return to BB to share your experiences and revelations. They are valuable to us. 

Sunday, my dear friend, this update brings me so much joy. Thanks for all of your support and encouragement over the years.  It’s so like you to pop back in and encourage others.