Need support, suffering terrible withdrawal & ptsd

Anyone else going through straight up psychosis? I can’t do anything..I’m so young, 32. I should be doing so many things. I had the world in front of me..was drugged up, treated like a statistic/case number. Now I’m just pacing around my house, thinking about where it all went wrong. I know I’m not supposed to think that way. Focusing on the present is too hard now, I never was good at it to be honest. Thoughts of the future are obsolete cause I literally can’t feel my soul. I’m approaching the end of my taper and the whole process was hell (4 months). Someone talk to me please

First of all, good for you for almost finishing your taper. Once you are done and have done some withdrawal recovery, I think you will begin to feel some positive changes. Most likely some ups and downs, but you will be on your way to getting your life back. You are so young, you have so much to live for. I can identify with your anguish and also about asking “Why.” I often think how on earth did I get to this place and how unfair it is. Health care workers will often point out then that you can’t go back and the important thing is to deal with the now. Annoying to hear, but is true.

 

My heart goes out to you. I will be thinking of you. You do have strength to have almost finished your taper and yes it can absolutely get better.

I'm so sorry you are suffering so much right now, but it will be over in time.

I know it seems impossible, but you will be your old self again

I know you do not believe that now, because you are still in withdrawl and your brain is still healing and you don't have the good chemicles you need to believe me.

Practice radical acceptance; this is happening, it is terrible, but thinking about how terrible it is will not make it go away, yes I will be unproductive, antisocial, tired, sad, fearful etc. for a while longer and that is just the way it is.

 

Then slowly, you will feel some shifts, it's happening to me..I had no interest in anything I used to love going out, finding new music, sex, art, socializing, projects of all types...then on the meds and taper I became totally dead inside, there were times I could literally do little more than to stare into space totally numb ..or curl up and cry.

But I'm starting to feel things again, interests are emerging, ideas are returning...I finally believe what they have all been telling me here and I am telling you now..YOU WILL GET BETTER.

So surrender, say F***k it! This summer is one summer of your life that will be shit.

You have many more years to do all the things you used to do, and you will.

And it will be even better because you will have more appreciation for it.

Sending lots of support and love to you,

xJenny

I'm 37, I feel your pain. I'm a fellow pacer. I go into straight ruminating mode, walking around in circles in my house all day replaying where it all went wrong or panicking about the unknown.  It feels as if all my life plans / goals were stolen when I'm supposed to be in the prime of my life. That being said, what keeps me going is if you read the success stories. There are so many people who have healed who have gone on to live amazing lives. This hell on earth when we finally heal gives us a new perspective and appreciation for life. It's sort of like a near-death experience. You tapered which was smart, you're only 32, you're going to recover quickly from this and you'll still have the next 50+ years to make your mark on the world.

I have absolutely been there pacing around my dining room table until my feet are bloody, screaming, crying, not feeling like the world is real.  It is truly a horrible state to be in.  Nothing helped ever.  I counted the minutes.  Distraction didnt work and forget about meditation or anything they recommend on here! 

 

I can tell you it does get better.  While my symptoms are still pretty bad they are nothing like what they were before.  I have lots of things I can do now to manage my symptoms.  You will get there too.

 

The body wants to heal.  It will heal.  It just takes time.

 

Hang in there.  We are here for you.